Friends’ mouths vanished. I roamed shops and streets suddenly filled with featureless people, their speech now as indecipherable as that of Charlie Brown’s invisible schoolteacher: wah wah wah wah wah. Whenever I saw the masks and thought of all they had erased, I felt dismay.
I read lips quite well thanks to lifelong hearing impairment. When I was intensely working to learn and use French, it took me a while to realize that my subconscious lip reading was causing me trouble. Somehow, someone speaking French caused this subconscious stress from some part of my visual processing brain. I really don’t have words to describe it. I did not realize any of this, until I noticed I had developed a habit of not looking at people when they spoke French.
Obviously, masking affected people who rely to any extent on reading lips. But during our Era of the Masks I’ve been wondering how much the loss of visual information effects everyone. Everyone reads lips. And suddenly you’ve lost that visual comprehension component. Even if it’s subconscious, that’s going to effect us.
What role does self-advocacy play in creating authentic and fulfilling relationships?
Self-advocacy is redefined as a cornerstone for personal and relational growth.
In advocating for your needs, you’re actually leading the way for the people that you serve to advocate for their needs.
~ Elizabeth Cunningham (4:15)
The conversation explores the concept of self-advocacy as a foundation for personal development and authentic relationships. It begins with reflections on the openness of participants at the Art of Retreat and transitions into how self-advocacy is an overlooked cornerstone in personal and professional life. Elizabeth emphasizes that advocating for one’s own needs fosters not only personal growth but also serves as an example for others, countering the misconception that self-advocacy is selfish.
Another focal point is the journey toward self-awareness and identifying areas where needs are unmet. This includes helping individuals recognize patterns of self-sacrifice and enabling them to understand the importance of prioritizing their own well-being. Elizabeth highlights the challenge of meeting people where they are without pushing solutions onto them, stressing the importance of cultivating genuine curiosity and allowing others to arrive at their realizations.
Takeaways
Self-advocacy — A foundational principle for personal and relational growth.
Self-awareness — Begins by identifying where personal needs are unmet or ignored.
Community dynamics — Movement and service-based communities often prioritize others at their own expense.
Leadership in needs — Advocating for personal needs models the behavior for others.
Coaching strategies — Effective coaching meets people where they are and avoids imposing solutions.
Cultural openness — Environments like retreats foster unique receptivity to self-growth ideas.
Intersection of service and self-care — Balancing helping others with self-prioritization creates a sustainable cycle of compassion.
I have a series of prompts which are a combination of quotes and small notes I’ve written for myself. I’ve mentioned this a few times in various posts tagged Reflection. As I collect them—pretty rare these days—I record them on slips in the slipbox. In 2019 I posted Daily Reminders describing what I was doing and listed the 42 prompts. Below you will find the current list of 62.
Over the years I’ve taken the time to type them into OmniFocus, the personal productivity software which I use. I carefully created individual “to-dos” for each one, with each scheduled to repeat at just the right number of days, and lined up their initial due dates. Many years later now, every day, one of them comes up digitally as a reflection prompt. While I recognize everyone of them, there are enough of them that I cannot remember which one will be next.
(4b1) AM I AN ENERGY-GIVER OR -TAKER? — Strive to lift others up; to leave them feeling better than before the encounter. While being mindful of my own energy level, seek ways to create a zest for life in others.
(4b2) BECOME MINDFUL OF ATTACHMENTS THAT LEAD TO CLUTTER AND COMPLEXITY — For example, if you are attached to sentimental items, you won’t be able to let go of clutter. If you are attached to living a certain way, you will not be able to let go of a lot of stuff. If you are attached to doing a lot of activities and messaging everyone, your life will be complex. ~ Leo Babauta
(4b3) PERSPECTIVE — “In the meanwhile, while they are robbing and being robbed, while they disrupt each other’s repose and make one another miserable, life remains without profit, without pleasure, without moral improvement. No one keeps death in view, everyone focuses on remote hopes. Some even make posthumous provisions—massive sepulchures, dedications of public buildings, gladiatorial shows, and pretentious obsequies. But the funerals of such people should be conducted by torch and taper light, as though they had in fact died in childhood.” ~ Seneca, On the Shortness of Life
(4b4) TEMPERANCE — “Eat not to dullness; Drink not to elevation.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
(4b5) BE PROACTIVE — “While the word proactivity is now fairly common in management literature, it is a word you won’t find in most dictionaries. It means more than meerly taking initiative. It means that as human beings, we are responsible for our own lives. Our behavior is a function of our decisions, not our conditions. We can subordinate feelings to values. We have the initiative and the responsibility to make things happen.” ~ Stephen Covey
(4b6) LOOK INWARD — “Everybody is too busy with their own lives to give a damn about your book, painting, screenplay, etc., especially if you haven’t sold it yet. And the ones that aren’t [too busy], you don’t want in your life anyway.” ~ Jason Korman
(4b7) AM I LIKELY TO “ACT” OR “REACT” TO A TASK? — Seek the reason for the task so that it may motivate me to proper action. Otherwise, determine how to eliminate or avoid the task entirely. Do or do not; there is no try.
(4b8) SILENCE — “Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself; avoid trifling conversation.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
(4b9) IMPRESSIONS — “But if you have in reality given thought to nothing other than the proper use of impressions, then as soon as you get up in the morning ask yourself, “What do I lack in order to be free from passion? What, to enjoy tranquillity? What am I? Am I a mere worthless body? Am I property? Am I reputation? None of these. What, then? I am a rational creature.” What, then, is required of you? Go over your actions. “Where did I transgress: in relation to peace of mind? What did I do that was unfriendly, or unsociable, or inconsiderate? What have I failed to do that I ought to have done with regard to these matters?” ~ Epictetus, 4.6.34-5
(4b10) WHAT AM I DOING WHILE ON “THE BENCH”? — If there is somewhere I want to be, begin walking. Identify something which I can do now, or very soon, which is interesting. Remember that efficacy is active, not passive.
(4b11) BEGIN WITH THE END IN MIND — “Each part of your life can be examined in the context of the whole, of what really matters most to you. By keeping that end clearly in mind you can make certain that whatever you do on any particular day does not violate the criteria you have defined as supremely important, and that each day of your life contributes in a meaningful way to the vision you have to your life as a whole.” ~ Stephen Covey
(4b12) IMPROVE ONESELF — “So now, are you not willing to help yourself? And how much easier such assistance is! You need not kill, imprison, or assault a man; you need not come into the market-place, you have merely to talk with yourself, the man who will be most readily persuaded, and to whom no one can be more persuassive than yourself. So, in the first place, pass judgement on your actions; but when you have condemned them, do not give up on yourself, nor be like those mean-spirited people who, when they have once given way, abandon themselves entirely, and are, so to speak, swept off by the flood.” ~ Epictetus, 4.9.13-4
(4b13) DISTRACTION, BUSYNESS AND CONSTANT SWITCHING ARE MENTAL HABITS — We don’t need any of these habits, but they build up over the years because they comfort us. We can live more simply by letting go of these mental habits. What would life be like without constant switching, distraction and busyness? ~ Leo Babauta
(4b14) ORDER — “Let all your things have their places; let each part of your business have its time.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
(4b15) NOTICE THE SPACE — “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” ~ Viktor Frankl
(4b16) WHAT CAN I DO TO BE SO GOOD THEY CAN’T IGNORE ME? — Continuous improvement? A “big swing?” A simple but insightful solution? The path to “the best” is not obvious and likely does not pass directly through the most-obvious next thing.
(4b17) PUT FIRST THINGS FIRST — “The degree to which we have developed our independent will in our everyday lives is measured by our personal integrity. Integrity is, fundamentally, the value we place on ourselves. It’s our ability to take and keep commitments to ourselves, to “walk our talk.” It’s honor with self, a fundamental part of the Character Ethic, the essence of proactive growth.” ~ Stephen Covey
(4b18) CHOICE — “For there are two rules we should always have at hand: That nothing is good or evil, but choice; and, that we are not to lead events, but to follow them. “My brother ougth not to have treated me so.” Very true, but it is for him to see to that. However he treats me, I am to act rightly with regard to him. For this is my concern, the other is somebody else’s; this no one can hinder, the other is open to hindrance.” ~ Epictetus, 3.10.18-9
(4b19) AM I AUTHENTIC OR OBSEQUIOUS? — Discerning the difference between obsequiousness and politeness can be difficult, but courtesy should be rooted in benevolence. Politeness should be the expression of a benevolent regard for the feelings of others; it’s a poor virtue if it’s motivated only by a fear of offending good taste. In its highest form Politeness approaches love.
(4b20) SINGLE-TASK BY PUTTING LIFE IN FULL-SCREEN MODE — “Imagine that everything you do — a work task, answering an email or message, washing a dish, reading an article — goes into full-screen mode, so that you don’t do or look at anything else. You just inhabit that task fully, and are fully present as you do it. What would your life be like? In my experience, it’s much less stressful when you work and live this way. Things get your full attention, and you do them much better. And you can even savor them.” ~ Leo Babauta
(4b21 ) TAKE ACTION — “Action’s ecstasy is instantaneous and compounding: Even if for the millionth time, it works its magic. Its trigger is sure: All you do is peel your ass off the bottom of whatever hole you are in, and climb!” ~ Bryan Ward
(4b22) RESOLUTION — “Resolve to perform what you ought; perform without fail what you resolve.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
(4b23) THINK WIN/WIN — “Most people tend to think in terms of dichotomies: strong or weak, hardball or softball, win or lose. But that kind of thinking is fundamentally flawed. It’s based on power and position rather than on principle. Win/Win is based on the paradigm that there is plenty for everybody, that one person’s success is not achieved at the expense or exclusion of the success of others.” ~ Stephen Covey
(4b24) CONCENTRATION — “It takes but a little to destroy and overturn everything, just a slight deviation from reason. To overturn his ship, a helmsman does not need the same proficiency as he does to keep it safe, but, if he turns it a little too far into the wind, he is lost: and even if he does not do so deliberately, but simply loses his concentration for a moment, he is lost. Such is the case here too. If you nod off for just a moment, all that you have acquired up till then is gone.” ~ Epictetus, 4.3.4-6
(4b25) HOW DO I TREAT SOMEONE I DON’T KNOW? — Your character shows in how you treat those who can do nothing for you.
(4b26) FRUGALITY — “Make no expense but to do good to others or yourself; i.e., waste nothing.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
(4b27) NOPE — I will not be lazy. I will not accept what I have now if I know I can do better. I will not sleep until I finish. I will not leave until I am done. I will not tremble in front of new challenges. I will not stop until I stop breathing. I will be whatever I want to be even if it takes sacrifice even if I have little to give even if it takes time even if I have no time at all. I will succeed. ~ (unknown)
(4b28) SEEK FIRST TO UNDERSTAND, THEN TO BE UNDERSTOOD — “You’ve spent years learning how to read and write, years learning how to speak. But what about listening? What training or education have you had that enables you to listen so that you really, deeply understand another human being from that individual’s own frame of reference?” ~ Stephen Covey
(4b29) CREATE SPACE BETWEEN THINGS — “Add padding to everything. Do half of what you imagine you can do. What would it be like if we did less? What would it be like if we padded how long things took, so that we have the space to actually do them well, with full attention? What would it be like if we took a few minutes’ pause between tasks, to savor the accomplishment of the last task, to savor the space between things, to savor being alive?” ~ Leo Babauta
(4b30) OUTSIDE OUR CONTROL — “If you should ever turn your will to things outside your control in order to impress someone, be sure that you have wrecked your whole purpose in life. Be content, then, to be a philosopher in all that you do, and if you wish also to be seen as one, show yourself first that you are and you will succeed.” ~ Epictetus
(4b31) INDUSTRY — “Lose no time; be always employ’d in something useful; cut off all unnecessary actions.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
(4b32) SYNERGIZE — “What is synergy? Simply defined, it means that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. It means that the relationship which the parts have to each other is a part in and of itself. It is not only a part, but the most catalytic, the most empowering, the most unifying, and the most exciting part.” ~ Stephen Covey
(4b33) MUCH ABIDES — Tho’ much is taken, much abides; And tho’ we are not now that strength which in old days moved Earth and Heaven, that which we are, we are; one equal temper of heroic hearts, made weak by time and fate, but strong in will to strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield. ~ Alfred Lord Tennyson
(4b34) IS THERE AN ELEMENT OF STRUGGLE IN MY HISTORY? — This reminds me to be kind, for everyone I meet is working through their own struggle. Through the experience of my own struggle I can better understand and empathize with others on similar journeys. Furthermore, being reminded of my past struggles suggests perspective on my day-to-day general lack of struggle.
(4b35) MY OATH — Today is the first day of the rest of my life. I shall make no excuses and hold no grudges. I care not where I came from, only where I am going. I don’t compare myself to others, only to myself from yesterday. I shall not brag about successes nor complain about my struggles, but share my experiences and help my fellows. I know I impact those around me with my actions, and so I must move forward, every day. I acknowledge fear, doubt, and despair, but I do not let them defeat me.
(4b36) HONESTY — “I am unafraid as I prepare myself for that day when the artifices and disguises will be stripped away and I shall make judgement of myself. Is it just brave talk, or do I mean what I say? Were they for real, those defiant words I spoke against fortune, or were they just theatre—just acting a part?” ~ Seneca
(4b37) SINCERITY — “Use no hurtful deceit; think innocently and justly, and, if you speak, speak accordingly.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
(4b38) SHARPEN THE SAW — “It’s preserving and enhancing the greatest asset you have–you. It’s renewing the four dimensions of your nature: physical, spiritual, mental, and social/emotional. … “Sharpen the saw” means expressing all four motivations. It means exercising all four dimensions of our nature, regularly and consistently in wise and balanced ways.” ~ Stephen Covey
(4b39) SELF-COMPASSION — Beware the stern, vociferous, insistent, internal critic. In my head, it sounds like me, but it is not me. If I said to another, even a fraction of the things I say incessently to myself, I would be arrested, or more likely, assaulted.
(4b40) WHAT HAVE I BEEN READING? — I’ve performed this experiment countless times. Read little: nothing happens. Read more: ideas, new connections, inspiration, questions, motivation, short-cuts, wonder.
(4b41) JUSTICE — “Wrong none by doing injuries, or omitting the benefits that are your duty.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
(4b42) BEFITTING A HUMAN BEING — “What would you wish to be doing, then, when death finds you? For my part, I would wish it to be something that befits a human being, some beneficient, public-spirited, noble action. But if I cannot be found doing such great things as these I should like at least to be doing that which cannot be impeded and is given me to do, namely, correcting myself, improving the faculty that deals with impressions, toiling to achieve tranquillity, and rendering to the several relationships of life their due; and, if I am so fortunate, advancing to the third area of study, that which deals with the attainment of secure judgements.” ~ Epictetus, 4.10.12-3
(4b43) FIND JOY IN A FEW SIMPLE THINGS — “For me, those include writing, reading/learning, walking and doing other active things, eating simple food, meditating, spending quality time with people I care about. Most of that doesn’t cost anything or require any possessions. To the extent that I remember the simple things I love doing, my life suddenly becomes simpler.” ~ Leo Babauta
(4b44) MODERATION — “Avoid extremes; forbear resenting injuries so much as you think they deserve.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
(4b45) FAULT — “So is it possible to be altogether faultless? No, that is impractical; but it is possible to strive continuously not to commit faults. For we shall have cause to be satisfied if, by never relaxing our attention, we shall escape at least a few faults. But as it is, when you say, “I will begin to pay attention tomorrow,” you should know that what you are really saying is this: “I will be shameless, inopportune, abject today; it will be in the power of others to cause me distress; I will get angry, I will be envious today.” See how many evils you are permitting yourself. But if it is well for you to pay attention tomorrow, how much better would it be today? If it is to your advantage tomorrow, it is much more so today, so that you may be able to do the same again tomorrow, and not put it off once more, to the day after tomorrow.” ~ Epictetus, 4.12.19-21
(4b46) WOULD I WANT TO GO ON A LONG CAR RIDE WITH ME? — Long car rides are a quintessential American experience. Along with the good however, comes the opportunity for bad. With others present the confined space, lack of privacy, and monotony of rolling vistas create a microcosm of life on a tiny stage. How I share that stage with the others in the car, and what specifically I do while on that stage tells all.
(4b47) GET CLEAR ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT, AND SAY NO TO MORE THINGS — “We are rarely very clear on what we want. What if we became crystal clear on what we wanted in life? If we knew what we wanted to create, how we wanted to live … we could say yes to these things, and no to everything else. Saying no to more things would simplify our lives.” ~ Leo Babauta
(4b48) CLEANLINESS — “Tolerate no uncleanliness in body, clothes, or habitation.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
(4b49) AM I SELF-AWARE? — The first step in my journey was realizing I was unhappy. This realization — detecting it, understanding it, believing it, surrendering to it, and finally owning it — was the first piece of bedrock on which I started building.
(4b50) TRANQUILLITY — “Be not disturbed at trifles, or at accidents common or unavoidable.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
(4b51) PRACTICE DOING NOTHING, EXQUISITELY — “No need to plan, no need to read, no need to watch something, no need to do a chore or eat while you do nothing. You will start to notice your brain’s habit of wanting to get something done. This exposes our mental habits, which is a good thing. Keep doing nothing. Sit for awhile, resisting the urge to do something. After some practice, you can get good at doing nothing, and this leads to the mental habit of contentment and gratitude.” ~ Leo Babauta
(4b52) CHASTITY — “Rarely use venery but for health or offspring, never to dullness, weakness, or the injury of your own or another’s peace or reputation.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
(4b53) WHAT IS MY TALK-TO-LISTEN RATIO? — It’s better to listen to understand, rather than to, (for example,) listen to refute. Silence is fine provided one’s own thoughts are pleasant company. When speaking, think first about why you are about to say whatever it is you’re about to say.
(4b54) WE CREATE OUR OWN STRUGGLES — “All the stress, all the frustrations and disappointments, all the busyness and rushing … we create these with attachments in our heads. By letting go, we can relax and live more simply.” ~ Leo Babauta
(4b55) HUMILITY — Imitate Socrates.
(4b56) FESTINA LENTE — Make haste, slowly. Or, unrestrained moderation. — “The worker must be stronger than his project; loads larger than the bearer must necessarily crush him. Certain careers, moreover, are not so demanding in themselves as they are prolific in begetting a mass of other activities. Enterprises which give rise to new and multifarious activities should be avoided; you must not commit yourself to a task from which there is no free egress. Put your hand to one you can finish or at least hope to finish; leave alone those that expand as you work at them and do not stop where you intended they should.” ~ Seneca, On Tranquility
(4b57) LOOK BACK — Look back at some of the things you’ve accomplished or experienced and think… — “Well if that isn’t nice, I don’t know what is.” ~ Kurt Vonnegut — “One never notices what has been done; One can only see what remains to be done.” ~ Marie Curie
(4b58) MIND YOUR OWN — “Not to support this side or that in chariot-racing, this fighter or that in the games. To put up with discomfort and not make demands. To do my own work, mind my own business, and have no time for slanderers.” ~ Marcus Aurelius, med 1.5
(4b59) HOW TO ACT — “Never under compulsion, out of selfishness, without forethought, with misgivings. Don’t gussy up your thoughts. No surplus words or unnecessary actions. Let the spirit in you represent a man, an adult, a citizen, a Roman, a ruler. Taking up his post like a soldier and patiently awaiting his recall from life. Needing no oath or witness. Cheerfulness. Without requiring other people’s help. Or serenity supplied by others. To stand up straight—not straightened.” ~ Marcus Aurelius, med 3.5
(4b60) PERSPECTIVE — “Be willing to be a child and be the Lilliputian in the world of Gulliver, the bat-girl in Yankee Stadium. That’s a more fruitful way to be.” ~ Mary Karr
(4b61) MEMENTO MORI — “Not to live as if you had endless years ahead of you. Death overshadows you. While you’re alive and able—be good.” ~ Marcus Aurelius, med 4.17
(4b62) EMBRACE THE OBSTACLES — “External things are not the problem. It’s your assessment of them. Which you can erase right now. If the problem is something in your own character, who’s stopping you from setting your mind straight? And if it’s that you’re not doing something you think you should be, why not just do it? —But there are insuperable obstacles. Then it’s not a problem. The cause of your inaction lies outside you. —But how can I go on living with that undone? Then depart, with a good conscience, as if you’d done it, embracing the obstacles too.” ~ Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 8.47
How can one balance the physical, mental, and social aspects of movement practices while teaching and maintaining personal growth?
The conversation explores how movement practice evolves from playful beginnings to structured teaching.
I prefer the term still mind… because I want the— however exerted my body is, I wanted my mind to stay as calm as possible.
~ Martin Svenselius (21:51)
The conversation examines the challenges of balancing the physical joy of movement practice with the structured demands of teaching it. Martin reflects on the evolution from playful group activities to professional instruction, noting the difficulties of maintaining personal practice while managing classes. He discusses the need to balance work and play, particularly when movement becomes a career, and the psychological strain of sustaining this balance.
Another focus is on teaching methods that encourage self-leadership. Martin emphasizes the importance of understanding body mechanics, offering scalable challenges, and fostering creativity. He stresses how personal training values, such as calmness and consistency, shape their approach to coaching, while also exploring the need to challenge traditional views on physical training.
Takeaways
Balancing work and play — Achieving a sustainable relationship between teaching movement and personal practice.
Self-leadership — Helping students transition to self-directed training through scalable challenges and creativity.
Role of creativity — Encouraging exploration and adaptation in movement practice to foster personal growth.
Importance of mindset — Viewing training as a means to challenge oneself physically and mentally rather than just seeking comfort.
Teaching philosophy — Emphasizing understanding the body’s mechanics over reliance on equipment.
Cultural and psychological layers — Addressing differences in training mindsets across cultures and individual personalities.
Consistency in practice — Incorporating movement daily to maintain personal growth and discipline.
Resources
Jersey Gregorek — Known as the “Lion of Olympic Weightlifting,” who coined the phrase, “easy choices, hard life; hard choices, easy life.”
Looking back, I think I went through a really intense period of burnout last year (in many aspects of my life, not just training). As a result, I found that the second I encountered meaningful challenge in my training – whether that be psychologically or physically – my body would just shut down, and kill the session dead. The best way I find to describe it is that my ‘spare emotional bandwidth’ is severely reduced, and things I would normally take in stride or even relish the challenge of instead boil me over into stress and anxiety much quicker. Consequently I’ve had to curtail the intensity of my training to the point that my criteria for success for a day will sometimes be as as little as “did a single push up” or “went for a walk”.
Last year I had a conversation with Adams for the Movers Mindset podcast. I had found this article (in July 2022) as I was doing my prep-work for the conversation and have only just gotten around to reading it. I really appreciate (both “hey, thanks for writing that” and “yes, I too have burnout”) him sharing the reality of burnout from pushing oneself.
Most of my days’ activity is no more than, “went for a walk.” Unrelated, last week I strained a muscle in my lower back—one of the lateral ones that’s connected to your pelvis and is involved when you twist and bend-forward. I was sitting, improperly with my lower back “collapsed”, turned my torso to my left and *twang* To be honest, it’s simply where the stress and burnout “came out”. It’s taken me a week of careful recovery work and today I’m back to: I can bend over, very nervously, with no pain but wondering at which instant it will hurt. Injury and recovery; I’ve done that countless times. But the real problem started in my head.
A million years from now, when alien anthropologists begin gathering evidence about what humans were like, they will definitely want to dig up the Self-help and Spiritual/Religion sections of our bookstores and libraries. There they will find direct evidence of what we yearned for and struggled with.
For some reason ( <- sarcasm alert ) my mind went directly from my title, to More cowbell. Which I’m linking to, on the off-chance you’ve not seen it. But to Cain’s topic I’ll simply add that it’s really (really REALLY) clear to me that I am the source of all my stress, anxiety, and problems. Certainly, there are injuries and trauma in my past—oh the stories I’ll not tell. Every time I turn and face the strange (hat tip David Bowie, rest in piece) I find it’s all smoke and mirrors. Every. Single. Time that I stop, and ask myself: What exactly is the thing that I’m anxious about, wigged-out about, pissed-off about, and—yes this too is a problem—excited about… Be clear, Craig. Use “i” language. Then I simply do it, or I delete it from my life. Bliss. Calm presence. The sun comes out and my mouth makes that strange shape y’all call a “smile.”
The most potentially interesting, challenging, and profound change implied by the ubiquitous computing (UC) era is a focus on calm. If computers are everywhere they better stay out of the way, and that means designing them so that the people being shared by the computers remain serene and in control. Calmness is a new challenge that UC brings to computing. When computers are used behind closed doors by experts, calmness is relevant to only a few. Computers for personal use have focused on the excitement of interaction. But when computers are all around, so that we want to compute while doing something else and have more time to be more fully human, we must radically rethink the goals, context and technology of the computer and all the other technology crowding into our lives. Calmness is a fundamental challenge for all technological design of the next fifty years. The rest of this paper opens a dialogue about the design of calm technology.
Designs that encalm and inform meet two human needs not usually met together. Information technology is more often the enemy of calm. Pagers, cellphones, news-services, the World Wide Web, email, TV, and radio bombard us frenetically. Can we really look to technology itself for a solution?
But some technology does lead to true calm and comfort. There is no less technology involved in a comfortable pair of shoes, in a fine writing pen, or in delivering the New York Times on a Sunday morning, than in a home PC. Why is one often enraging, the others frequently encalming? We believe the difference is in how they engage our attention. Calm technology engages both the center and the periphery of our attention, and in fact moves back and forth between the two.
Calm technology is designed to be unobtrusive and blend in with daily life. The opposite is technology that is distracting and disruptive, creating agitation and stress.
Calm technology
Never before have I seen, nor imagined, the adjective calm associated with technology. It never occurred to me to question where technology falls on a spectrum of calming to agitating. Mark my words: Calm technology is going to get mentioned by me going forward.
So is it possible to be altogether faultless? No, that is impractical; but it is possible to strive continuously not to commit faults. For we shall have cause to be satisfied if, by never relaxing our attention, we shall escape at least a few faults. But as it is, when you say, “I will begin to pay attention tomorrow,” you should know that what you are really saying is this: “I will be shameless, inopportune, abject today; it will be in the power of others to cause me distress; I will get angry, I will be envious today.” See how many evils you are permitting yourself. But if it is well for you to pay attention tomorrow, how much better would it be today? If it is to your advantage tomorrow, it is much more so today, so that you may be able to do the same again tomorrow, and not put it off once more, to the day after tomorrow.
If you come across any special trait of meanness or stupidity […] you must be careful not to let it annoy or distress you, but to look upon it merely as an addition to your knowledge—a new fact to be considered in studying the character of humanity. Your attitude towards it will be that of the mineralogist who stumbles upon a very characteristic specimen of a mineral.
But at our core, whether we’re an insecure teenager from Quebec, an overworked woman from India, a worrisome grandmother from Texas, or a desperate immigrant living in Australia, we all seem to struggle with the same small grouping of stressors and anxieties[.]
In recent years—particular in that one where I regularly had a therapist—this became glaringly obvious to me. First, I started noticing when my petulant child arrives with a list of grievances, and using that as a cue that it’s time to shift gears, shift tasks, take a nap, or something. I note that my mind loves to believe it’s, at the very least, in control of itself. But that turns out to be absolutely false, because about half of my central–nervous system is in my skull, and the other half is hanging down connected to all sorts of non-conscious things.
Second, rather than try to help everyone else with the same problems I have—uh, hello, if I have the problem it’s clear I don’t know how to fix it. Instead, I’m dashing off into the mountain flowers working on things which are fun. Because that really does help me. How cool would it be if some other people (with the same problems as me) would also be helped?
Reactions so far have been a combination of interest and concern. The prevailing belief does seem to be that humans require three meals every single day, and you deviate from this number at your peril – missing lunch or breakfast is survivable but worrisome, eating only dinner is masochistic, and eating nothing for a day is a sure sign of disordered eating or some other form of mental illness.
Most of the reactions I get are concern. I’ve zero interest however in what others think of how I eat. I’m still over-weight because I binge eat; I binge eat as a form of stress relief, and I’m okay with that. (It’s vastly better than other forms of stress relief which I am happy to remain free of.)
The really interesting affect of all my fasting is that it’s completely changed how I think about others’ eating. For a long time I would think judgmentally about others’ eating, and sometimes I’d even make the egregious error of voicing my opinions. But my fasting has taught me how annoying (and patently incorrect if I’m being honest) others’ opinions are about eating—and then “physician heal thy self!” I turned that into self-criticism about my thoughts regarding others’ eating. Not only do I no longer voice my opinions, I rarely even have thoughts about others’ eating habits. I didn’t simply learn to stop having an opinion, but I stopped thinking I know better.
Later, when the Doritos were reduced to crumbly fragments barely worth fishing out of the bag, I reflected on what had gone wrong, and remembered something I discovered years ago about resolutions but forget constantly.
The other day, I finished off the remaining more–than–half of a can of Cool-Whip. To be clear: I mean that I ate it directly. It’s not terrible as far as things go. But it’s absolutely not the sort of “food” that I want to eat. It definitely doesn’t move me towards my goals. I knew I was going to do it, weeks ago when the can appeared in my refrigerator to be used with some dessert or other. I knew I was going to do it when the can went back in the fridge after dessert. Sure, it took a couple of weeks, but then after an entire day of being stressed out, things played out just as I knew they would. Cain has a plan. I should probably get a plan before the next can of Cool-Whip is left like a lamb for slaughter.
We all have a duty to look after our physical health. The body is your vehicle through which your mind and spirit travel in and act through, throughout your life. We’re lucky to have abundant information, resources, and teachers to help us for caring for our body, but without personal responsibility and action, progress is left to chance. Ancient medicine taught us to be active participants of our own health, modern medicine encourages us to be passive recipients of health. We can make the best of both by placing more attention and energy on observing our body, environment, and taking daily action to create energetic surplus through moderating stress, practicing movement, good nutrition and quality rest.
I suspect that a lot of people reading my musings are already steeped in the wisdom of movement generally. It’s simply nice to find things like this on the big ‘ol Internet; A large article written by someone who’s clearly thought a lot, moved a lot, and thought a lot about moving. There’s a wonderful quote that feels parallel to this article’s sentiments:
No citizen has a right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training … what a disgrace it is for a man to grow old without ever seeing the beauty and strength of which is body is capable.
A somatic approach to movement can help us get reacquainted with ourselves. This is our home base after all. It’s our guts and tissues, our thoughts and perceptions. It’s our subjective experience of life. […] When we cultivate self-awareness through movement, we come up against the boundary of self and other. We recognize that we don’t live in a vacuum.
The word “reacquainted” leapt out at me. Every time I truly pause to pay attention, I’m immediately confronted by my physical self. There’s the inevitable settling towards senescence, and frankly that doesn’t bother me. I enjoy looking back at the things I was once capable of and thinking, well, that was nice! No, the confrontation I’m talking about is the stuff that I know is my fault… and I’m not going to list physical metrics. Suffice to say: All I’d have to do it remove the stress and everything else would settle back to a wonderful baseline that I’d love to return to.
Motility, and in particular directed motility, is decisively important for host colonization, as bacteria deliberately seek to colonize an organism and conquer all niches.
*shudders* The article is about stress hormones in people, and research into how bacteria are (not “may be”) using our hormones to signal when they (the bacteria, *shudder* again) should go on the offensive and move. I don’t have anything to add. This just struck me as creepy.
How can podcasting be used as a tool for exploring personal and professional transitions?
Exploring the potential of podcasting reveals its role in both research and personal discovery.
Transitions for me are about spaces of change. And they are exciting to me because there’s movement happening and so the fact that there is movement happening means that if you lean into the movement. You can have a lot of really lovely things come out of it.
~ Jessica Burdett (11:19)
The conversation explores how podcasting can serve as a medium for both personal and professional growth. Jessica discusses the role of podcasting in fostering creativity, allowing space for exploration, and potentially contributing to developmental research in coaching. She reflects on how podcasting can help capture stories that provide insights into transitions and identity development.
A significant focus is placed on transitions as moments of change and growth. Jessica shares her fascination with these periods, emphasizing their potential for identity formation and the role of coaching in navigating such changes. The conversation also touches on Jessica’s evolving perspective on auditory learning, noting how podcasting has helped her recognize new learning strengths and opportunities.
Takeaways
Podcasting as a creative space — Its flexibility supports exploratory learning and creativity.
Transitions and identity — They offer a unique opportunity for growth and identity development.
Story-based research — Exploring stories can reveal patterns and trends in human behavior and transitions.
Coaching and transitions — Coaching methods can align well with navigating periods of change.
Our “surface area of concern”—the number of events we pay attention to on a regular basis—has expanded alongside technology. This is not an inherently negative thing, but becomes one when it adds chronic stress, leads us to burnout, and affects our mental health.
This is a precise and powerful way to describe something which lies at the root of many other phrases: Information overload, multi-tasking (as a way to fail), and spreading our attention too thin (as another way to fail), are just three examples. I’ve long since decided that I do not need to have an opinion on most things, and that frees me from feeling I need to notice as many things as possible.
For many years—but explicitly I have 3 years of journal entries where this is glaring—I’ve lamented wanting to spend more time on some specific things. And yet my days slip past doing other things. I’m not talking about things which get planned—a day at the beach, dinner at someone’s house, or weekend work in the yard. No, I’m talking about that, “where the hell did today go?” stuff. If you like visuals: The glass jar that I filled slowly all day with the sand of small things, only to realize at day’s end that there’s no way to put these larger rocks in. Ever. Because every tomorrow is like today. Dammit.
About a week ago I decided—memento mori, ya’ know—it’s time to flip that shit over. For several years now, I’ve been starting with pretty consistent morning routine. After that, I have four things that I want to do, and I’ve been doing those next. Sometimes that means I don’t touch anything else—not my phone, not my email, not other people, not bills, not even voicemail from roofers—until 4 in the afternoon. It sounds crazy, I know. Guess what? Every day I look at those four things and go: Shazam! Progress! …and it turns out that I then go on to pour in a ton of sand too—return that call [from yesterday], mow the lawn, run an errand, interact with people, etc..
How can physical therapy integrate empathy, precision, and awareness to improve patient outcomes?
Movement becomes a gateway to understanding the human experience in this exploration of therapy and wellness.
Curiosity, awareness, and precision are things I think about every single day in my life.
~ Phil Lombardo (21:55)
The conversation navigates the transformative potential of empathy, precision, and awareness in physical therapy. It emphasizes the importance of acknowledging patients’ emotions to alleviate stress, improve outcomes, and foster genuine connections. Specific strategies, such as naming emotions and creating resonant interactions, underline how interpersonal dynamics shape the healing process.
Movement is discussed as a critical therapeutic tool, with special attention to the role of the feet. Suggestions for barefoot movement and engaging in balance-focused exercises highlight the untapped potential of proprioception and body awareness. Practical applications of movement therapies, such as the use of tools like two-by-fours, further contextualize the ideas shared.
Takeaways
Curiosity in therapy — Drives deeper connections and understanding between practitioner and patient.
Awareness as a practice — Essential for addressing both physical and emotional facets of healing.
Empathy in medicine — Encourages patient compliance and improves therapeutic outcomes.
Role of the feet — Highlighted as underutilized but vital for balance and movement.
Movement tools — Simple tools like two-by-fours provide accessible ways to enhance balance and proprioception.
Emotional naming — Shown to significantly reduce stress and inflammation.
Precision in care — Critical for tailoring effective therapeutic interventions.
Professional humility — Emphasized as key to continuous learning and better patient care.
How does practicing contortion influence mental calmness and overall life perspective?
Contortion is not just about physical flexibility but a mental practice of finding calmness.
The only way to do it, was to be calm. You can’t— It’s physically impossible to do it anxious. There’s just no way. So you have to [find] calmness or… or nothing.
~ Tori Kubick (11:33)
The conversation explores the transformative aspects of contortion, emphasizing how the practice fosters mental calmness alongside physical flexibility. Tori shares how she transitioned into contortion as an adult and describes it as a discipline that connects mind and body. She highlights the need for internal calmness, which allows practitioners to push beyond perceived physical and mental limits.
Other topics include the parallels between contortion and problem-solving in other movement practices, such as parkour and aerial arts. Tori discusses the importance of strength complementing flexibility and explains how contortion helps practitioners discover new ways to navigate challenges, both physically and mentally. The conversation also touches on the introverted nature of many contortionists and the rare sense of community they share.
Takeaways
Courage in movement — The willingness to challenge oneself physically and mentally is essential for growth.
Calmness as a necessity — Contortion requires a deep state of calmness to achieve its intricate movements.
Physical and mental synergy — Practicing contortion merges physical effort with mental focus.
Adapting perspectives — Observing challenges from different angles can reveal solutions.
Strength paired with flexibility — Building both attributes in balance leads to greater movement capacity.
Impact on everyday life — Lessons from contortion apply to real-world challenges like stress management.
Shared practices — Contortion creates connections among its niche community of practitioners.
Misconceptions about contortion — Many people wrongly view it as solely innate or purely aesthetic.
What are the key insights into natural movement, breathing, and how they connect to overall well-being?
MaryBeth Gangemi’s experience as a social worker has had a profound affect on how she approaches her movement practice and working with clients. She shares her own movement journey, from city to country side. MaryBeth discusses the importance of environment, breathing, and play on our ability to move well and ‘naturally.’ She unpacks her thoughts on the connections between social work and movement, as well as creating spaces accessible to all.
So you could say, is walking natural movement? […] But what if you’re walking with your head down looking at your phone, with your mouth open breathing heavy, is that? […] If we want to focus on return to nature type of idea […] how about like, really walk with posture up and look where you’re going and look around and see what’s ahead of you? […] Just not letting all of it pass you by.
~ MaryBeth Gangemi (39:34)
MaryBeth Gangemi is a breath, strength, and natural movement coach, in addition to being a wife and mother. She has certifications in many different areas, including MovNat, Kettlebells, Original Strength, and Buteyko Breathing Method. MaryBeth owns and runs Kairos Strong, where she teaches students to develop quality movement to support all areas of their life.
The conversation explores the profound relationship between natural movement, breathing, and overall well-being. Topics include the importance of posture, awareness, and incorporating nature into daily practices to foster mindfulness. Breathing techniques, such as the control pause, are discussed as vital tools for improving health and managing stress.
There’s an emphasis on rediscovering play, curiosity, and sensory experiences, like walking barefoot or engaging with different textures in the environment. The dialogue also examines the role of environment in shaping movement habits and encourages listeners to explore new activities when their current routines become monotonous or unfulfilling.
Takeaways
Breathing awareness — Understanding breathing patterns can improve oxygenation and reduce stress.
Natural movement — Everyday movements like walking and crawling can be made more mindful and enriching.
Environment’s role — The physical and social environment significantly influences movement habits.
Rediscovering play — Adults can benefit from integrating playful and exploratory elements into their routines.
Mindfulness in motion — Focusing on posture and surroundings enriches movement experiences.
Breathing practices — Simple techniques like the control pause provide tangible health benefits.
Flexibility in routines — Movement practices should be adaptable and enjoyable to sustain long-term engagement.