Self-Awareness

What does picking one word a year teach you? →

Published 15 Days Ago  ·  All posts on Apr 28  ·  , ,

In 2012 I picked the phrase will-power and self-possession as a kind of anchor — something to keep in front of me through the year. (I literally wrote it on a card and stuck on the wall above my desk. For a year.) I didn’t know I was starting a practice. In 2015 I chose simplify. I’ve now been picking one word or short phrase a year for thirteen years, and the cumulative practice has become as interesting as each year’s choice.

This thread is a path through what that practice has actually been like — what made certain words land, the year-end reflection ritual that grew up around it, and what I’ve noticed across the arc. It’s about the practice, not the words. Follow this thread if you’re wondering what a small annual ritual can do over a long enough timeline.

(more…)

Look straight at the perfectionism →

Published 19 Days Ago  ·  All posts on Apr 24  ·  ,

Ask yourself what perfect looks like. What are the specific elements? What’s on the checklist?

Procrustes will never have an answer to this question, but always a response along the lines of “I’ll know it when I see it.” That’s not good enough. He has no idea what perfection means! He’s exposed. He cannot meet his own standards. He’s in his bed. You know what to do. Grab your creative tools and get to work.

~ Boston Blake, from Perfectionism

I’ve long agreed with the sentiment that “I’ll know it when I see it” is bullshit. I’ve long thought that was because if one doesn’t know “what it should look like” then one doesn’t actually understand whatever it is we’re talking about judging. My thinking was focused on identifying whether or not I (or whomever) was capable of judging.

But this insight from Blake got me thinking about a more fundamental layer of judgement: If I (or whomever) is not capable of judging (as evidenced by espoused sheep dip like “I’ll know it when I see it”) then I shouldn’t even be involved in the judging. Which is also a powerful way to banish my own internal critic.

ɕ

There’s more than we can ever do →

Published March 14  ·  All posts on Mar 14  ·  

While I’m distracted by doing all the things I really need to do I know deep down I’m avoiding all the things I really need to do

~ Jesse Danger, from Robbing Peter to pay Paul

My friend Jesse writes now and then. It’s not that what he writes is good (it is), rather it’s that what he writes is very often in sync with what I’m thinking. This one sat a bit before I hit publish, so if you go over, there are few more things to read published since.

I often (“constantly” almost works here) talk about how my default mode is to sit before the computer and do stuff, when the default mode I wish I had was— frankly, anything other than touch a computer. The key to unlocking that is to fixate on this: The computer is a tool. Tools are technology for doing something. Therefore, as I head towards a computer, what exactly am I going to do, and what exactly is the definition of done (so I then know to go back to the normal life I wish I had)?

This? The point was to sit with this thought, and to attempt to shine some attention towards Jesse’s writing. Done.

ɕ

My way? →

Published March 10  ·  All posts on Mar 10  ·  

For me, all these complex valences reach their peak in one song. And you know which one I’m talking about.

Ted Gioia, from “My Way” or the Highway?

slip:4uhopy2.

There was a time—20 years ago, I’d say—when I sang along. It was of course aspirational— or— I’m looking for a word; not quite “aspirational.” I was singing along as if the song in any way represents my actual story. In reality, I’m only acting as if I’d actually tried to do even a few of the things expressed, let alone actually accomplished all the things expressed. Is that posturing? …playacting? …attempting to borrow someone’s bravado?

I’m going to go with: self-deception.

There was a time, not too long ago, when I sang along in self-deception. Now the song reminds me that I’ve never actually even tried to do anything… let alone accomplished anything worth singing about.

ɕ

Bifocals →

Published January 8  ·  All posts on Jan 8  ·  ,

I’ve come to realize I have a kind of bifocal attention – solving today’s problem while simultaneously noticing the friction, which I can’t leave alone. I’ll stop in the middle of the task to write the script, the alias, the doc, the template. Not because I’m procrastinating the real work, but because to me this is the real work – the specific task is just today’s instance of a pattern I’ll hit again.

The instinct has a cost: it’s slower in the moment. The payoff is cumulative and mostly invisible – unless someone else sees my environment and how I work. That’s where the “wizardry” appears; One gesture suddenly seems to perform magic. Except it’s not magic, it’s just a lot of bifocal attention.

It’s an acquired taste to know when the improvement is worth the interruption.

ɕ

What defines you →

Published October 21  ·  All posts on Oct 21  ·  ,

Bruce, deep down you may still be that same great kid you used to be. But it’s not who you are underneath, it’s what you do that defines you.

~ Rachel Dawes, Batman Begins (2005)

slip:4a1562.

When does it get good? →

Published July 13  ·  All posts on Jul 13  ·  ,

Those last few reps are the money makers — the best return for your effort you’re going to get, but many people don’t even know they’re possible. My usual stopping point felt like just about the end of the road, but it was actually the beginning of a hidden, hyper-rewarding territory where exceptional results happen.

~ David Cain, from Doing More is Often Easier

slip:4urado4.

That is a critical life-lesson which I learned through Art du Déplacement. Therein we talk a lot about such things as sharing, being strong to be useful, and community. However, the biggest gains are in the personal development. It’s a journey of growth, yes, but more so it’s a journey of personal discovery. «Allons-y!»

ɕ

Appetite →

Published July 6  ·  All posts on Jul 6  ·  ,

No man’s body is as strong as his appetites.

~ Tillotson

slip:4a1551.

Insert reflection →

Published March 4, 2025  ·  All posts on Mar 4  ·  

For greater happiness, a better way to live employs what behavioral scientists call metacognition. This simply refers to an impartial awareness of your emotions, a capacity to see them as important information but not as a mandate for any particular behavior. Good ways to practice metacognition include Vipassana meditation, journaling, and prayers, which shift the experience of involuntary emotion into the realm of conscious attention.

~ Arthur C. Brooks, from Why Humility Is the Key to Well-Being – The Atlantic

slip:4uteie28.

There are endless methods: Write that angry screed, but don’t send it (put the paper-letter in a drawer, or save the email as a draft.) Count to 10 before saying or doing anything when you are angry. Name your feelings, internally or out loud (“I’m a feeling angry.”) Viktor Frankl’s comments on the space between stimulus and response. I don’t have a specific takeaway, other than that I’m simply reminding myself of all these options which I’d like to continue to practice using more often.

ɕ

Complainer heal thyself →

Published February 10, 2025  ·  All posts on Feb 10  ·  

And so I’ve been learning to find the complainer in myself, and bring love to him. This is transformative! It means it’s OK for me to have complaint, to feel put upon, to not be happy or grateful. This is a permission to just be how I am right now — which is sometimes full of complaint.

~ Leo Babauta, from Transforming Our Complaints into Something Generative

slip:4uzeco3.

Some days I really wish I could just let go of all this blogging shenanigans. But it does force me to do a lot of reading, and that means I’m periodically reminded to pay attention to what Babauta is saying.

ɕ