When does it get good?

Those last few reps are the money makers — the best return for your effort you’re going to get, but many people don’t even know they’re possible. My usual stopping point felt like just about the end of the road, but it was actually the beginning of a hidden, hyper-rewarding territory where exceptional results happen.

~ David Cain, from Doing More is Often Easier

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That is a critical life-lesson which I learned through Art du Déplacement. Therein we talk a lot about such things as sharing, being strong to be useful, and community. However, the biggest gains are in the personal development. It’s a journey of growth, yes, but more so it’s a journey of personal discovery. «Allons-y!»

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It matters that you notice

Whether you’re a binge-watcher or a doomscroller or some other type of time-bider, the following is probably true for most people reading this: There are things you want to do with your life that you’re not doing. You know these things are worthwhile. You know these things are possible.

~ David Cain, from How to Start Doing the Things You Daydream About

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Cain draws our attention (often in his writing) to the noticing part. That is the really difficult part. If you’re not noticing that there’s a tension in your life, then you’ll surely never change.

Beyond noticing comes relaxing into the feeling. Then deciding whether the tension and the feeling represent something to allow to bloom. And deciding what to let go of to make room for that new growth.

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What if I just did the thing?

Another interpretation is that everyday life, for most people, is an untapped gold mine. Certain undone tasks represent huge gains, waiting just a short time away, behind one session of elbow grease. Even ten or fifteen minutes of directed effort, judiciously applied, can improve your life far more than the wages you earn for the same period.

~ David Cain, from Fix Three Broken Things

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It’s interesting to note that I only just read this, this evening… after fix a table on my patio today. Yesterday, I grouped together a pile of errands—four different stops with multiple “I need…” for different chores and repairs at each stop. The table is a hulking cedar and steel pipe beast. I need some wood putty, and spar varnish. Today, I got out the sander and mixing little work sessions, with other things, I worked through various sandpaper grits, wood putty iterations, and 3 coats of spar varnish. I did an “80%” jobs at every step of the way. By tomorrow it will be completely dry and ready for use again. I use it every day spring through fall, and this couple hours of work will now yield—probably—3 more seasons of unfussy use.

I also used the rest of the little can of varnish to slap a coat on the garden gate.

What’s next?

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There are no miracles

These reassurances did not particularly help me make my life better, though. They helped me tolerate the bad place I was in, which is a mixed blessing. Self-sympathy and coping strategies make it easier to stay where you are, but that’s not where you want to be.

~ David Cain, from Discipline is Underrated

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Discipline is the pixie-dust that enables everything I do. (“You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly, but I bet you ain’t never seen a donkey fly!”) I’ve had a single, hot-pink, sticky note on the edge of my monitor since April 2023: “There are NO MIRACLES, there is only DISCIPLINE.” Here on the ‘ol blog, discipline comes up often.

Cain’s article is about his experiences with having ADHD, and the bit I quoted is really important. I use a lot of self-sympathy and coping when I need it… and then—knowing there’s somewhere I want to be—I start walking. I use a lot of discipline, and the magic-multiplier is knowing not to try to make every waking moment involve discipline. Instead, I deploy the discipline pixie-dust when things are important; not “oh no this is now important” but “oh yes, this is something important to me that I want to accomplish.”

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An incredible deal

A period of time set aside to practice mindfulness like this is called meditation. It is the work that gives you access to the Other Incredible Deal and its benefits. The minimum effective dose is perhaps ten minutes daily. More time is better, but the good deal starts about there.

~ David Cain, from The Ancient Art of Turning Walls into Doorsdoors/

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I spent many years studying Aikido. If I had to pick one thing which most helped me—one thing which led to the biggest changes in my life—it would be meditation. Nearly every day we sat on the floor and practice a very specific breathing method; it was literally mindfulness training. To this day, I do the same seated, mindfulness practice. (Only sometimes do I do the specific breathing, as the breathing and the mindfulness are easily separated after enough practice.)

There are many other gifts (not sarcasm) which I received, but there’s no way I can ever fully repay the debt I owe for the gift of becoming at least a bit more mindful, and learning how to intentionally work on it. Forever.

I do not recommend studying a martial art (for decades) but don’t do that just to get the mindfulness gift.

I do wholeheartedly recommend seeking the mindfulness gift through meditation of some sort.

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Recognizing

There is a phrase I like to trot out: “Any day at the crag.” And you need two details for this to make sense: First, that a crag is any outdoors place where one goes to climb rocks. Second, the part left unsaid is that any day at the crag is better than any other day. Thus, any day at the crag. Yes, despite the litany of things that normal people would list as negatives at the crag.

To be clear, by “appreciate” I don’t mean “enjoy” exactly, although you might also enjoy the experience. I mean “recognizing the unique or worthy qualities” of the experience itself: the texture of it, the aesthetics of it, the heft of it, the heat of it, the poetry of it, the poignancy of it — whatever strikes your sensibilities when you pay attention to what’s happening.

~ David Cain from, Appreciate What Happens, as a Rule

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And yet, despite that litany, the density of “if this isn’t nice, I don’t know what is” moments is much higher, any day at the crag. Dappled sunlight. A cool breeze in the shade. A view. Friends. Food tastes better. Sleep is less troubled. You don’t have to climb (or go to a crag), but you do have to find your something.

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Bliss

I can go for walks with others, with music, or with podcasts, and those things usually crowd out my frenzied thoughts and internal monolog. But it’s much better when I manage to leave enough space for my thoughts to settle. Wrestling with my own thinking just gets both of us riled up.

This practice teaches you that you don’t need to address every instance of mental talk you have. In fact, your thoughts will never leave you alone if you try to resolve every train of thought that arises. Instead, you can just enjoy the world as it reveals itself before you.

~ David Cain from, How to Make Your Mind Maybe One-Third Quieter

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Serenity is to be found when walking truly alone—not even accompanied by one’s own thoughts.

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I do have some rules

One rule is: Anything I find, which ticks two (or more!) boxes from my list of decadent favorite pastimes, I must include herein. For example: Something that bashes on social media platforms and makes me chuckle out loud? Oh, that’s getting included. Another rule, written but almost impossible to enforce, is: Don’t over think it.

The humble knife is a good example. An edged tool for cutting tough materials apart is just as useful to 21st-century home chef as it was to a nomadic hunter a hundred thousand years ago. The long past of the knife suggests it will have a long future. In other words, we’re probably not living in the last few years of an eons-long Knife Era.

By the same token, something that has just become “a thing” is less likely to be a long-lasting thing. If everyone around you is suddenly watching rapid-fire videos on something called TikTok, what are the odds we’re in the first few years of a thousand-year TikTok Era?

~ David Cain from, This Will Not Always Be a Thing

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But unlike Fight Club, this entire online blog/web site I have isn’t built upon self-delusion… waaaaaaaaait a minute.

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The illusion of control

What is the opposite of play? …the opposite of playing an infinite game? I can’t think of a better candidate than the desire for control. My desire for control—when it rears its ugly head—stems from insecurity. (But let’s leave my insecurity for another day.) When I grasp for control I start trying to prepare for every contingency. When I grasp for control I start trying to control the contexts around everything I’m doing, everything I’m experiencing, and how others see me. And when I don’t grasp for control, I’m able to play.

The site you’re reading, Raptitude, is essentially an attempt to convey certain kinds of embodied knowing, having to do with the subtleties of being human, rather than driving a car or doing long division. I’m trying to get people to have some of the same perspective shifts I’ve had.

~ David Cain from, Knowing is Doing, Not Remembering

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Experiencing that embodied knowing is what I enjoy about conversation. It’s not vacuous, and it’s not an attempt by me to control. It’s play, and it’s learning.

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Issue 52

First, thank you for reading. :)

A year ago, when I set out to reimagine what my email (this thing you’re likely reading in email, which is based on some of the stuff I post to my blog) should be, my first thought was: “What do I like to get in my email?” What I like is when the entire email is actually in the email; no bait-and-switch, here’s-a-taste, but now you have to come to the web site to actually read it. I like when images are special; when they are just rare enough to be surprising and interesting. I like to take my time reading. I like when the font and colors are easy on the eyes. So that’s what I tried to create.

I wasn’t sure whether I should write this celebratory item to be in issue 52 or 53. (Or maybe I should celebrate on round numbers like 50 and 100?) Thinking about this reminded me that most of you (I imagine) don’t know these weekly 7 for Sunday emails have issue numbers.

You see, for obtuse technical reasons there are three features that are only available if you go to the web site to read 7 for Sunday. First, the issue number is in the header at the very top. Second, each issue starts with a reading-time estimate. I really like that feature; I love when what’s inside is clearly labeled on the can. Third, at the bottom of each issue are buttons to navigate through all of the issues. If you’ve never seen the web page version of 7 for Sunday, now would be a fun time to take a look (and it would take you about 4 hours to read through all 52 issues.)

This modular way to consider goals removes so much trepidation. A major win in your life is no longer at the end of “a journey of a thousand steps.” It’s a journey of nine or fourteen or fifty-five Blocks. It’s a staircase, not an ocean to be crossed.

~ David Cain from, How to Inherit a Fortune

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A year ago, when I set out to reimagine what my email should be, I was looking forward to seeing how it turned out after 52 issues. I think it turned out pretty well, and I hope you agree. Again, thanks for reading. I appreciate your time and attention, and I don’t take it for granted.

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