On this day

March 2nd

What I’m trying to say

15 Days Ago

I believe we are meaning-seeking creatures, and these feelings of meaning, relational and connective, are almost always located within kindness. Kindness is the force that draws us together, and this, Beau, is what I think I am trying to say – that despite our collective state of loss, and our potential for evil, there exists a great network of goodness, knitted together by countless everyday human kindnesses.

~ Nick Cave, from Nick Cave – The Red Hand Files – Issue #204 – What is the point in life?

Spot on. It doesn’t get much better than when there’s a bunch of kindness, insight and compassion.

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Perspective with Giles D’Souza

March 2, 2024

Perspective with Giles D’Souza

What is the interplay between embracing personal challenges and letting go of unnecessary burdens in shaping a fulfilling life and practice?

Giles D’Souza shares his journey from navigating the bustling streets of Mumbai to finding tranquility in movement, as he and Craig Constantine unravel the essence of living fully in the moment amidst the chaos of modern life.

You can take this time for yourself. You can take this time for your clients— take this time for this— and anything above that is it’s fine. Just let it go.

~ Giles D’Souza, 3:15

Giles D’Souza and Craig Constantine navigate the relationships between work, personal growth, and the concept of living fully in the moment. Giles shares his transformative experience of returning from a long journey overseas, which provided him with a fresh perspective on balancing work and personal life. He emphasizes the direct correlation between work and income, especially as a self-employed individual, and how stepping away allowed him to reassess and prioritize his time and activities upon returning. This segment of the discussion highlights the importance of finding equilibrium between professional commitments and personal well-being, suggesting that a deliberate pause can lead to a more fulfilling and intentional way of living.

The conversation also gets into the philosophical, exploring concepts of consciousness, the significance of the present moment, and the universal human experience of navigating life’s fleeting nature. Giles reflects on the practice of mindfulness and the art of letting go, sharing personal anecdotes that underscore the power of focusing on the present to alleviate the burdens of past grievances and future anxieties. This part of the conversation considers the impact of external environments on well-being, with Giles discussing the challenges of living in Mumbai, a city with significant pollution, and how it has influenced his desire for a life closer to nature. Through these discussions, the conversation weaves together themes of personal development, environmental awareness, and the pursuit of simplicity and clarity in a complex world.

Takeaways

The importance of balance — discussing the challenge of managing work and personal life, especially when self-employed, and the value of taking breaks to reassess one’s priorities.

The power of mindfulness — exploring how being present and letting go of past and future worries can significantly improve mental well-being and perspective on life.

Environmental impact on lifestyle — sharing personal experiences of how living in a polluted city can influence one’s health and happiness, and the longing for a life closer to nature.

The significance of the present moment — emphasizing that every second is precious and should be lived fully, whether it’s through work, leisure, or simply being.

The transformative effect of travel — reflecting on how travel can expand one’s perspective, not by ticking off checklist items but by deeply experiencing and immersing oneself in different cultures and environments.

The philosophical exploration of consciousness — delving into the nature of consciousness, the miracle of waking life, and the profound impact of considering our place in the universe.

The aspiration for a sustainable and peaceful living environment — dreaming of a life in the mountains, self-sufficient and in harmony with nature, highlighting the desire for simplicity and tranquility away from urban chaos.

Resources
@one.meal.monster — Giles D’Souza on Instagram

DarkSky International — The conversation touches upon the importance of the night sky

(Written with help from Chat-GPT.)

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Choice with Joe Pellerito

March 2, 2023

What are the personal and professional impacts of podcasting on hosts, and how do they navigate feedback and balance with other life commitments?

Joe Pellerito reflects on the balance between passion projects and family life, sharing insights from his podcasting journey.

I’m going into topics I’m personally passionate about and I also see it as almost a gift for the guest. So whatever that guest is passionate about, what I’ve noticed is they say, “Joe thank you so much. That’s always going to be out there on the internet. My grandkids can hear it someday.”

~ Joe Pellerito (5:38)

Craig and Joe discuss the challenges and rewards of podcasting, focusing on the feedback they receive from listeners and guests. Joe shares his initial fixation on numbers and how he has since shifted his mindset to focus more on the value of each conversation. He emphasizes that even polarizing topics, like atheism, can spark meaningful discussions, and some episodes resonate with people in unexpected ways. Joe values the personal feedback he receives, especially when listeners share how his episodes helped them feel less alone in their experiences.

They also explore the impact podcasting has on their personal lives, particularly the balance between creative work and family time. Joe reflects on how his podcasting schedule has changed over time, reducing the number of episodes to prioritize his family, especially as his son approaches the end of high school. He talks about the support he receives from his family, like his wife helping to host guests when they come to their home, and the importance of making time for both podcasting and family moments.

Takeaways

The importance of prioritizing meaningful conversations — Creating episodes that focus on topics the host and guest are passionate about can lead to fulfilling exchanges, regardless of audience size.

Shifting focus away from numbers — It’s easy to get caught up in listener metrics, but the value of podcasting lies in the quality of the conversations, not the statistics.

Handling polarizing topics — Discussing divisive issues, such as religion or politics, may cause some listeners to disengage, but these episodes can also inspire others to connect more deeply.

Feedback from listeners — Direct feedback, especially when it challenges or praises specific aspects of the show, helps shape the direction and focus of future episodes.

Balancing podcasting and personal life — Managing a creative project like podcasting alongside family responsibilities requires careful attention, and taking breaks is sometimes necessary to maintain balance.

Support from family — Involving family members in the process, whether through hosting or technical contributions, can create a sense of shared purpose and lighten the load.

The role of podcasting as a platform — Podcasting provides a lasting platform for guests, allowing their stories and messages to be preserved online, which can be meaningful for them and their families.

The creative nature of podcasting — Even though podcasting is intangible compared to other creative forms, it offers a unique outlet for expression that requires both technical and artistic effort.

Resources

Rechoice Podcast — A podcast where guests discuss pivotal moments in their lives, typically involving a “RE” word (e.g., reaffirm, return).

SurveyMonkey — An online platform used for creating and distributing surveys, mentioned in the context of gathering feedback from listeners.

Movers Mindset — Another podcast mentioned in passing, focused on deep conversations around human movement, personal development, and growth.

(Written with help from Chat-GPT.)

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Perspectives with Andy Day

March 2, 2022

Perspectives – with Andy Day

How does photography intersect with movement and identity, and what responsibilities and privileges come with its practice?

Parkour and photography share a symbiotic relationship in challenging barriers and fostering connection.

Photographing parkour in these spaces was giving these monuments kind of new narratives and demonstrating that beyond the history, there is the potential to make something new that brings people together.

~ Andy Day (6:45)

The conversation explores the interplay between photography, movement, and identity, particularly through the lens of parkour. Topics include how photography informs the practice of parkour and vice versa, the evolution of creative expression in urban landscapes, and the role of privilege and access in documenting and engaging with spaces. The discussion emphasizes the ability of photography to give new narratives to contentious historical monuments and to encapsulate communal experiences.

The conversation also addresses broader societal issues, such as the responsibilities that come with privilege in accessing spaces and creating narratives. Reflecting on the dynamics of representation, Andy and Craig go into how capturing and sharing images contributes to personal and collective identity. The dialogue concludes with thoughts on being both part of and separate from a community, offering insights into the role of an observer who participates critically.

Takeaways

Photography and movement — A reciprocal relationship that fosters exploration and understanding of spaces.

Historical monuments and narratives — Controversial monuments can be reimagined through photography and parkour.

Privilege in representation — Awareness of privilege is crucial in both movement and photography.

Role of photography — A tool for identity construction and validating effort within communal contexts.

Community and critical distance — Being both part of and apart from a community provides a unique perspective.

Intersection of arts and culture — Parkour and photography converge to challenge barriers and unite diverse groups.

Evolution of practice — Growth in creative endeavors often involves cycles of learning and unlearning.

Resources

Andy Day’s website — Features articles and photographs detailing various journeys and projects.

Zofia Reych’s book, Born to Climb — Explores the cultural history of climbing.

Photographs and articles on former Yugoslavia’s war monuments — Provides insights into the project’s journeys and discoveries.

(Written with help from Chat-GPT.)

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Via negativa

March 2, 2022

Like nature, which removes mistakes to progress, you can remove things to not only survive but thrive. (This is one of the ways we can apply via negativa, an important mental model.)

~ Shane Parrish from, Friction

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It’s a semi-interesting, but short, article. But this bit about via negativa made me down-shift. Because I’d never heard that little latin phrase. I wrote a blog post about how not to mess up endings of conversations… and then went directly to a bookmark on that Parrish article and realized that via negativa was exactly what I had just been writing about.

Via negativa is simply the idea of improving by studying what one should not do. Addition by subtracting one might even say.

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Our journey of small steps

March 2, 2021

Meditation is intermittent fasting for the mind. Too much sugar leads to a heavy body, and too many distractions lead to a heavy mind. Time spent undistracted and alone, in self-examination, journaling, meditation, resolves the unresolved and takes us from mentally fat to fit.

~ Naval Ravikant

Today’s message is not really a prompt like the previous 60. Alas, we’ve reached the terminus of our journey of small steps practicing reflection.

Thank you for being awesome!

I created this series by taking my personal collection of self-reflection prompts and forming them into these blog posts. Next, I wrote the three getting-started posts to ease you into the daily routine. Finally, I came up with a theme for each of the 8 weeks and wrote short additions that appeared below the main sequence of prompts. These additions carry the through-line of teaching self-reflection. (…or at least, I hope they did.)

Here are all the additional parts in one place:

Creating space

Remember: 2 minutes. Pause life. Read. Think. Resume life.

Many of the prompts I’m sharing have been chosen from the generous gifts given me by others. When I’m explicitly quoting, they are attributed (as above.)

2 minutes: Pause life. Read. Think. Resume life.

Perhaps you’ve already begun to look forward to your two minutes of reflection?

2 minutes: Pause life. Read. Think. Resume life.

Have you considered adding some physical ritual to your reflection? Perhaps taking three deep, slow breaths before the reading, or … If you decide to try something, don’t go crazy; just something very small and easy. Or not. That’s fine too.

2 minutes: Pause life. Read. Think. Resume life.

Habit

Everything you do is initiated by triggers. “X” happens to me, so then I do “Y.” Creating a new habit is difficult because we don’t realize we need to attach it to a trigger.

Trigger. New habit.

You’re using the arrival of this email as your trigger. Do you recall that I mentioned on day one that I was introducing you to being reflective upon being prompted?

Trigger. New habit.

Today’s a good day to look closely at the trigger you’re experiencing. There are always ways you can change a trigger. Tinker—if not for real, then at least as a thought experiment—with changing the daily trigger for this journey.

Trigger. New habit.

One day, these triggers from me will end. To what trigger under your control could you attach this nascent habit of self-reflection?

Reflection

Reflection is about self-focus. Each day you’re practicing holding up a mirror. Specifically, you’re observing your thoughts, in response to a prompt.

It’s not necessary to move beyond simply observing our thoughts. Simply practicing _observing_ your thoughts will make you more aware of your thoughts.

Our practice of reflection is an explicitly inward-facing activity. We’re repeatedly, intentionally being aware.

Reflection. Inward-facing. Intentional awareness of our own thoughts.

A good mirror shows an accurate image. A fun-house mirror shows a distorted image. How is your reflection on your own thoughts?

Having now spent at least 46 minutes in self-reflection and practicing awareness of your own thoughts— …any change in daily lived life? …any change in your relationships? No right answers, simply awareness.

Are you surprised by your thoughts’, and your mind’s, complexity? Are you amazed? Are you empowered?

Awareness

We’ve been developing our awareness via self-reflection. What happens if we turn our awareness outward?

Were there any moments yesterday when you suddenly—it can be quite jarring the first few times—became aware that you were _aware_ of your own thoughts?

You are using a trigger to practice reflection. Is there anything in your day that resembles the reflection trigger? Opportunities where you could reflect spontaneously?

We’re about halfway. Poke your head out of your private journey of practicing reflection and quietly take some guesses about how reflective are the people around you. No judging; recall day one’s message about self-improvement not being zero-sum.

If you encountered even one moment yesterday where you realized someone else could be more reflective: Visualize that moment you experienced… and imagine slowly raising a hand mirror into that perspective—so you see your own reflection appear on top of that person.

Are there moments in your day when you realize you are aware that you are observing something outside yourself? If so— If you are aware you are observing, can you use that as a trigger to look inward and reflect on your own thinking?

Awareness of our inward experience, and our outward experience, is the same. It’s the same awareness. These past few days, we’ve taken our awareness on a brief field trip outside ourselves. For the rest of our little journey here, we’ll remain looking inward.

Journaling

How good is your memory? What’s the first food you had after waking eleven days ago? Perhaps, your memory isn’t _that_ good. How about something you are currently interested in: 11 days ago, did you have any insights from your morning reflection?

Everything about this journey is, of course, optional. But I want you to find paper and pencil/pen. Don’t over-think that, and don’t try to use something digital. Grab any paper and any pen, and have them handy for tomorrow’s reflection.

Remember that paper? Write the first thought that comes to mind, when I say, write the first thought that comes to mind. You’re done.

Today, write the first and second thought. It really, truly, does not matter what the thoughts are. Please try writing them down. Put the paper away until tomorrow.

I’m not even asking that look back at what you’ve written. Simply write a couple thoughts, (or more than a couple, if you wish.)

And write _several_ thoughts down today…

Now look back through your week of notes. Maybe write a few notes about your observations of your notes? Maybe, you want to look more into journaling? (Today is the last time I’ll mention journaling in our journey, but I highly recommend continuing.)

Simply being

You’ve put a lot of effort so far into practicing reflection. It’s important that we don’t lose the trees for the forest. The focus of daily reflection is the _tree_; the forest will take care of itself.

One can bring self-judgement into reflection practice, but it is not necessary. Simply practicing being aware will pay dividends. I’m recommending you do the reflection without the judgement.

A human being. Not a human doing.

My martial arts teacher, Sensei Wirth, turned the phrase: No this. No that. No delay.

Many arts teach the lesson of simply being. Zen, for example provide koans: “What is the sound of one hand clapping?”

Different styles of Yoga teach variosly about sound, light, and breathing.

The sublime experiences of life can be found anywhere. I’m hoping you find it within this small space you’ve created for reflection.

Make it yours

My intention for this series is to bootstrap your practice of reflection. For me to have suceeded, you must end up being self-sustaining in your practice.

The skeleton of this journey is the 57 prompts which appear at the top of each of these posts. I wasn’t born with those. What will be your prompt, or prompts?

How are you going to continue to trigger yourself to do your morning reflection?

I like to read, and daily-study/daily-devotional books is an entire Genre. But there are also web sites, software, flip cards, … what calls to you?

The best choice for medium and method—for prompts, for journaling, for reflection—is whatever reliably triggers you to reflect. Make it yours; change it whenever you wish.

Do you recall the beginning of this journey? While I created the prompts and the system which you are now enjoying, how will you continue it yourself? 

It’s time for the student to become the teacher. What prompts and triggers are you going to create for yourself as you go through your life being your own teacher?

Recap

We’re in our final week together. The first week was about creating space. 2 minutes: Pause life. Read. Think. Resume life.

Our second week was focused on creating a new habit. Do you have your new habit attached to a trigger?

Week three was about the practice itself of reflection; becoming aware explicitly that we are— well, practicing being aware.

Awareness occupied our practice during our fourth week. Inward. Outward. Simply being aware is awesome.

In week five we tried the tiniest taste of capturing our thoughts. Reflection is a power tool for self-improvement. Journaling—and there are many kinds—is another.

Simply being is easy to understand but difficult to embody. In week six I tried to point at the moon, while hoping my pointing finger didn’t draw your attention instead.

Last week we began looking beyond this small, introductory journey and talking about ways you could continue on your own.

Digestif

When will the rhetorical questions end?

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As a PDF — You can download Practicing Reflection as a single e-book.

Practicing-ReflectionDownload

That which in old days moved Earth and Heaven

March 2, 2020

Hilbert had no patience with mathematical lectures which filled the students with facts but did not teach them how to frame a problem and solve it. He often used to tell them that “a perfect formulation of a problem is already half its solution.”

~ Constance Reid, via Paul Graham from, How You Know

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Today is a three-for-one; two attributions for the quote and a hat tip for my title, which I hope you recognize as being lifted from Ulysses.

I’ve been thinking recently about wisdom. I have countless aphorisms that hint, with a wink, at how it differs from knowledge. I’m certain I don’t know exactly what wisdom is, but I am certain I know what it rhymes with. Today I listened to an entire album, the way the artist hoped I would. Today I provided a bit of help to some people who are starting out in something that I happen to know about. Today I ate peanut butter and jelly using the same spoon in both jars while nibbling at the bread. Today I read journal entries I had written 6, 3 and 1 years ago. Today I spent time with a few people important to me. Today I sat in the sun. Today I played and ran and jumped on some stuff. Today, aside from the people I interacted with, I did not leave, (nor attempt to leave,) my mark in the world.

In a non-judging way, meant only to spur you on, I ask: What did you do today?

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Keeping a notebook

March 2, 2019

(Part 70 of 72 in series, My Journey)

(Part 70 of 72 in series, My Journey)

I think we are well advised to keep on nodding terms with the people we used to be, whether we find them attractive company or not. Otherwise they turn up unannounced and surprise us, come hammering on the mind’s door at 4 a.m. of a bad night and demand to know who deserted them, who betrayed them, who is going to make amends. We forget all too soon the things we thought we could never forget. We forget the loves and the betrayals alike, forget what we whispered and what we screamed, forget who we were.

~ Joan Didion

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I have no idea who my 16-or-so-year-old self was. I recently found myself telling a long sequence of stories from that era. Who was that person? What were they thinking? …I have no idea.

And I don’t mean that looking at the facts, things don’t make sense. As in, “why would someone do that, in that situation.”

I mean: I have no recollection of what it felt like to be that person. That person—those experiences—don’t even feel real. It’s like there’s not even the least certainty that those memories aren’t just something loaded into my brain before it was booted up a few years ago.

Going back ten years—maaaybe 15 at most—I feel like that is still me. It’s like there’s a horizon and once an experience disappears over the horizon, all that’s left is a story.

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Simply report problems

March 2, 2018

Now it may turn out that what a junior employee sees as a problem that they don’t have an answer to really isn’t a problem. On the other hand, some problems are much easier to identify than they are to fix. This is particularly true with ethical and cultural problems.

~ Ben Cotton from, You don’t need to have an answer to report a problem

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This piece is short, so my pull-quote may not make complete sense. I don’t like to pull-quote so much that you can get away with NOT reading the source because, in general, if I’m linking to it then I think the source is important enough to be read entirely.

I digress.

Ben raises a point here that jumped out at me once I saw it. I’ve been hearing and saying that same piece of advice and, yeah… it’s wrong. Yes, if you can bring a solution (or solutions, or even a half-baked first attempt at a solution) with the problem report, great! …but do not—never under any circumstances—refrain from speaking up when you see a problem. It’s either not a problem and you’ll level up when someone explains it, or it is a problem, or it’s a system in-built blind spot that is a problem… or… you know what? Just speak up.

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Is anarchy the answer?

March 2, 2015

Might not be the “anarchy” you think of at first: Ross criticizes this model from both sides: First, the options offered to the people are too limited and too easily manipulated by those with money and power. My favorite expression of this situation comes from the Cake song “Comfort Eagle“

Some people drink Pepsi, some people drink Coke.
The wacky morning DJ says democracy’s a joke.

~ Doug Muder from, When Centralized Institutions Fail, Is Anarchy an Answer?

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Science, yes. Politics or Religion, nope.

March 2, 2013

In science it often happens that scientists say, ‘You know that’s a really good argument; my position is mistaken,’ and then they would actually change their minds and you never hear that old view from them again. They really do it. It doesn’t happen as often as it should, because scientists are human and change is sometimes painful. But it happens every day. I cannot recall the last time something like that happened in politics or religion.

~ Carl Sagan

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