Compassion. The best description (it’s right at the top) and discussion (continues for ~6,000 words) I’ve found is David Gross’s Notes on Compassion.
Empathy, a cycle of skills improvement, developing new attitudes and showing up in service often accompanies the careers of people who get from here to there.
There’s a reason the word “understanding” is before “compassion” in my mission. We each have limited resources, and we must be intentional (perhaps not entirely intentional, but certainly not entirely unintentional) with how we act based on compassion. I must first begin to understand myself. Then begin to understand the world, and that includes beginning to understand others.
With emotional empathy, you actually experience a weaker degree of what somebody else feels. Researchers in recent years have been able to show that empathic responses of pain occur in the same area of the brain where real pain is experienced.
It seems obvious to me that being empathic is helpful since it suggests where to direct one’s compassion. However, is it necessary to be empathic in order to be compassionate?
Without compassion is empathy beneficial? Without compassion might empathy actually be harmful?
All of these desperate and depraved acts we see ‘bad people’ do, we are all ultimately capable of them too. Under different circumstances, with a different upbringing and different experiences, every one of us could be a killer. But if you got lucky, and that’s not the way it turned out, you might be inclined to put yourself on a distinctly higher plane.
I’ve learned to use venom and outrage as indicators. When I taste venom… when I feel outraged… that’s when I redouble my efforts to use my brain and be rational.
I’m not convinced (one way or the other) as to wether it’s even possible to never feel outraged–or if that’s even a good end-goal.
But I am certain that–without exception–if ever I let my outrage direct my actions, I regret it later.
I believe we are meaning-seeking creatures, and these feelings of meaning, relational and connective, are almost always located within kindness. Kindness is the force that draws us together, and this, Beau, is what I think I am trying to say – that despite our collective state of loss, and our potential for evil, there exists a great network of goodness, knitted together by countless everyday human kindnesses.
What role does following energy play in navigating personal growth, leadership, and relationships in daily life?
Staci Boden shares her journey from helping individuals turn dead ends into doorways to guiding leaders and change makers on their transformative paths through the art of following energy.
The question is, how do we navigate daily life. That’s really what following energy is about— it’s meant to be a practice to support individuals in learning how to navigate their daily lives while feeling connected with themselves.
~ Staci Boden ~18:28
An expert in somatic practices and a generous guide for those who’ve appeared in her life, Staci discusses her journey and the evolution of her podcast. Staci talks about her book, “Turning Dead Ends Into Doorways” and how her podcast transformed, becoming the “Following Energy” podcast. She emphasizes the importance of grounding oneself and paying attention to energy, which can lead to personal growth and a more compassionate world. Staci describes her role as a guide and change maker, supporting individuals and empowering them to make an impact, emphasizing the importance of taking life step by step.
Takeaways
Following Energy and Grounding — The concept of “following energy” as a practical way to navigate life. The importance of grounding oneself, slowing down, and paying attention to the energy in the present moment.
Evolution of her Podcast — Evolving to focus on following energy and birth. This shift aligns with the need for a new paradigm in the world and reflects her commitment to supporting individuals in their personal growth journeys.
Empowering Change Makers — Her role as a generous guide supporting individuals to make an impact.
If I identify the main feature of my personal growth—a task well worth your effort too—it is a shift in orientation. Where once I was primarily interested in changing the world (in the sense of carving my own path, creating a unique path; not trying to change the entire world) and changing others, I am now primarily interested in understanding the experiences of others. Where once I was focused on developing tools of reason and logic to understand reality, I am now free to build upon (not abandon!) those tools to use empathy and compassion to understand others. Certainly, this remains an aspirational work-in-progress, but it is work, in progress, none the less.
But what if the primary way in which we are unique, and one of the ultimate causes of our remarkable rational and linguistic capabilities, turns out to be the unique way in which we are emotionally drawn to one another and the world? What if humans have become so rational and linguistic because of the very special kind of social way we interact and emote? How might it change our way of understanding ourselves, our relationships with and responsibilities to one another, our fellow animals and our planet if we came to see the foundation of human uniqueness not in our capacity for reason, but in our capacity for empathy? If we realised that we are the very special animal we are because of our very special ways of caring for and about one another – a care that we project into the nonhuman world?
What if, indeed! I clearly see a trend in the sorts of things I read, the blogs I follow, the podcasts I listen to, the conversations I seek to create, and the movement opportunities I chase. How about you?
What are the challenges and approaches to developing oneself as an effective and compassionate Parkour coach?
Insights into balancing personal growth and teaching are shared by an experienced Parkour coach.
I like to say that not all athletes are good coaches, and not all good coaches are good athletes. And one of the things you run into, and this is also a huge part of what my talk was about is the ego. And these high skilled athletes oftentimes can run into this perspective of working with people who maybe aren’t as like, super interested in learning Parkour… If you’re trying to help people, and if you’re trying to help people grow, which is kind of the role that a coach plays, then you really got to step aside from that ego.
~ Niko Pal (2:16)
The conversation centers on the experiences and philosophies of an experienced Parkour coach. It explores the significance of self-awareness, ego, and intention in coaching, emphasizing that coaches must align their methods with their students’ goals rather than imposing their own perspectives. Niko discusses the theoretical aspects of coaching, particularly the importance of understanding why one coaches and what outcomes are desired for students. The pitfalls of ego in coaching are highlighted, particularly among high-skilled athletes transitioning to coaching.
Challenges like burnout, injury, and the loss of passion due to overcommitment are discussed as common obstacles for coaches. Niko advocates for developing support systems, setting boundaries, and maintaining a balance between coaching and personal training. The value of mentorship is also emphasized, with the speaker reflecting on their own lack of a mentor and their desire to support others in avoiding similar struggles. Ultimately, the conversation underscores the need for coaches to connect authentically with their students and community.
Takeaways
Not all skilled athletes make good coaches — coaching requires distinct skills like compassion and adaptability.
Ego management in coaching — stepping aside from personal pride to meet students where they are.
Burnout prevention — the importance of setting boundaries and maintaining a balance between coaching and personal goals.
Mentorship value — having a mentor can help navigate the challenges of coaching and accelerate growth.
Impact of injury — physical limitations can affect both personal training and coaching effectiveness.
Authentic connection with students — aligning coaching goals with students’ aspirations fosters genuine growth.
Support systems — having peers or mentors helps coaches recover from setbacks like burnout or injury.
Resources
Parkour Visions — Organization focused on Parkour training and coaching.
What role does self-advocacy play in creating authentic and fulfilling relationships?
Self-advocacy is redefined as a cornerstone for personal and relational growth.
In advocating for your needs, you’re actually leading the way for the people that you serve to advocate for their needs.
~ Elizabeth Cunningham (4:15)
The conversation explores the concept of self-advocacy as a foundation for personal development and authentic relationships. It begins with reflections on the openness of participants at the Art of Retreat and transitions into how self-advocacy is an overlooked cornerstone in personal and professional life. Elizabeth emphasizes that advocating for one’s own needs fosters not only personal growth but also serves as an example for others, countering the misconception that self-advocacy is selfish.
Another focal point is the journey toward self-awareness and identifying areas where needs are unmet. This includes helping individuals recognize patterns of self-sacrifice and enabling them to understand the importance of prioritizing their own well-being. Elizabeth highlights the challenge of meeting people where they are without pushing solutions onto them, stressing the importance of cultivating genuine curiosity and allowing others to arrive at their realizations.
Takeaways
Self-advocacy — A foundational principle for personal and relational growth.
Self-awareness — Begins by identifying where personal needs are unmet or ignored.
Community dynamics — Movement and service-based communities often prioritize others at their own expense.
Leadership in needs — Advocating for personal needs models the behavior for others.
Coaching strategies — Effective coaching meets people where they are and avoids imposing solutions.
Cultural openness — Environments like retreats foster unique receptivity to self-growth ideas.
Intersection of service and self-care — Balancing helping others with self-prioritization creates a sustainable cycle of compassion.
What are the key principles and ideas behind the “Open and Curious” project, and how do they apply to fostering meaningful conversations and personal growth?
Explore how curiosity, complexity, and personal growth intersect in the journey of crafting conversations and podcasts.
But a lot of us get this memo—who didn’t get it early in life—begin to get it in middle age. I’ve never had this thought before, but the middle age thing… what [our culture calls] the midlife crisis. Well the midlife crisis is really getting […] I’m not supposed to keep trying to be perfect.
~ Tom Huntington (5:11)
Craig and Tom engage in a thoughtful conversation about curiosity, control, and personal growth, touching on how these ideas intersect with podcasting and everyday life. Tom expresses his excitement about Craig’s project, Open and Curious, seeing it as a principle of life and an approach to understanding healthy human nature. They discuss the tension between trying to control outcomes, especially in conversations and creative work, and allowing curiosity to guide the process. Craig reflects on how developing curiosity can help podcasters move conversations in meaningful directions without forcing control, while Tom emphasizes the importance of being open without slipping into chaos.
Another theme is the challenge of balance in life and learning. Tom shares his personal experience of trying to manage too many ideas, leading to a feeling of being out of balance, and describes the importance of self-awareness in recognizing the problem as internal rather than external. They also touch on midlife revelations, where people begin questioning the pursuit of perfection and the pressures of society. Tom’s reflections on mental health and how openness affects both individual growth and relationships add depth to the discussion, bringing in insights from neuroscience and attachment theory.
Takeaways
The power of curiosity — developing curiosity can guide conversations and lead to meaningful outcomes without needing control.
The balance between openness and chaos — being too open can lead to chaos, while too much rigidity can stifle growth and learning.
The challenge of midlife revelations — midlife often brings a realization that the pursuit of perfection is futile, prompting a shift in perspective.
Learning from self-awareness — recognizing that certain recurring problems are internal, rather than blaming external factors, is key to personal growth.
Curiosity in podcasting — allowing curiosity to shape the direction of conversations can lead to natural, engaging dialogues, especially in creative projects.
The role of self-compassion — focusing on what was done well, rather than dwelling on past mistakes, fosters a healthier mindset.
Managing too many ideas — having too many ideas can lead to overwhelm, and it’s important to prioritize and recognize when to set things aside.
Mental health and openness — staying open to learning and new experiences is crucial for mental health, but must be balanced to avoid overwhelming chaos.
Attachment theory in growth — understanding how relationships and brain science intersect offers valuable insight into personal development and mental health.
Resources
The Developing Mind — a book by Dr. Daniel J. Siegel that explores how relationships and the brain interact to shape who we are, drawing on neuroscience and attachment theory.
Open and Curious — a project focusing on curiosity, conversation, and personal growth, discussed extensively throughout the conversation.
Podcaster Community — a community for independent podcasters where ideas like Open and Curious are shared and discussed.
I have a series of prompts which are a combination of quotes and small notes I’ve written for myself. I’ve mentioned this a few times in various posts tagged Reflection. As I collect them—pretty rare these days—I record them on slips in the slipbox. In 2019 I posted Daily Reminders describing what I was doing and listed the 42 prompts. Below you will find the current list of 62.
Over the years I’ve taken the time to type them into OmniFocus, the personal productivity software which I use. I carefully created individual “to-dos” for each one, with each scheduled to repeat at just the right number of days, and lined up their initial due dates. Many years later now, every day, one of them comes up digitally as a reflection prompt. While I recognize everyone of them, there are enough of them that I cannot remember which one will be next.
(4b1) AM I AN ENERGY-GIVER OR -TAKER? — Strive to lift others up; to leave them feeling better than before the encounter. While being mindful of my own energy level, seek ways to create a zest for life in others.
(4b2) BECOME MINDFUL OF ATTACHMENTS THAT LEAD TO CLUTTER AND COMPLEXITY — For example, if you are attached to sentimental items, you won’t be able to let go of clutter. If you are attached to living a certain way, you will not be able to let go of a lot of stuff. If you are attached to doing a lot of activities and messaging everyone, your life will be complex. ~ Leo Babauta
(4b3) PERSPECTIVE — “In the meanwhile, while they are robbing and being robbed, while they disrupt each other’s repose and make one another miserable, life remains without profit, without pleasure, without moral improvement. No one keeps death in view, everyone focuses on remote hopes. Some even make posthumous provisions—massive sepulchures, dedications of public buildings, gladiatorial shows, and pretentious obsequies. But the funerals of such people should be conducted by torch and taper light, as though they had in fact died in childhood.” ~ Seneca, On the Shortness of Life
(4b4) TEMPERANCE — “Eat not to dullness; Drink not to elevation.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
(4b5) BE PROACTIVE — “While the word proactivity is now fairly common in management literature, it is a word you won’t find in most dictionaries. It means more than meerly taking initiative. It means that as human beings, we are responsible for our own lives. Our behavior is a function of our decisions, not our conditions. We can subordinate feelings to values. We have the initiative and the responsibility to make things happen.” ~ Stephen Covey
(4b6) LOOK INWARD — “Everybody is too busy with their own lives to give a damn about your book, painting, screenplay, etc., especially if you haven’t sold it yet. And the ones that aren’t [too busy], you don’t want in your life anyway.” ~ Jason Korman
(4b7) AM I LIKELY TO “ACT” OR “REACT” TO A TASK? — Seek the reason for the task so that it may motivate me to proper action. Otherwise, determine how to eliminate or avoid the task entirely. Do or do not; there is no try.
(4b8) SILENCE — “Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself; avoid trifling conversation.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
(4b9) IMPRESSIONS — “But if you have in reality given thought to nothing other than the proper use of impressions, then as soon as you get up in the morning ask yourself, “What do I lack in order to be free from passion? What, to enjoy tranquillity? What am I? Am I a mere worthless body? Am I property? Am I reputation? None of these. What, then? I am a rational creature.” What, then, is required of you? Go over your actions. “Where did I transgress: in relation to peace of mind? What did I do that was unfriendly, or unsociable, or inconsiderate? What have I failed to do that I ought to have done with regard to these matters?” ~ Epictetus, 4.6.34-5
(4b10) WHAT AM I DOING WHILE ON “THE BENCH”? — If there is somewhere I want to be, begin walking. Identify something which I can do now, or very soon, which is interesting. Remember that efficacy is active, not passive.
(4b11) BEGIN WITH THE END IN MIND — “Each part of your life can be examined in the context of the whole, of what really matters most to you. By keeping that end clearly in mind you can make certain that whatever you do on any particular day does not violate the criteria you have defined as supremely important, and that each day of your life contributes in a meaningful way to the vision you have to your life as a whole.” ~ Stephen Covey
(4b12) IMPROVE ONESELF — “So now, are you not willing to help yourself? And how much easier such assistance is! You need not kill, imprison, or assault a man; you need not come into the market-place, you have merely to talk with yourself, the man who will be most readily persuaded, and to whom no one can be more persuassive than yourself. So, in the first place, pass judgement on your actions; but when you have condemned them, do not give up on yourself, nor be like those mean-spirited people who, when they have once given way, abandon themselves entirely, and are, so to speak, swept off by the flood.” ~ Epictetus, 4.9.13-4
(4b13) DISTRACTION, BUSYNESS AND CONSTANT SWITCHING ARE MENTAL HABITS — We don’t need any of these habits, but they build up over the years because they comfort us. We can live more simply by letting go of these mental habits. What would life be like without constant switching, distraction and busyness? ~ Leo Babauta
(4b14) ORDER — “Let all your things have their places; let each part of your business have its time.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
(4b15) NOTICE THE SPACE — “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” ~ Viktor Frankl
(4b16) WHAT CAN I DO TO BE SO GOOD THEY CAN’T IGNORE ME? — Continuous improvement? A “big swing?” A simple but insightful solution? The path to “the best” is not obvious and likely does not pass directly through the most-obvious next thing.
(4b17) PUT FIRST THINGS FIRST — “The degree to which we have developed our independent will in our everyday lives is measured by our personal integrity. Integrity is, fundamentally, the value we place on ourselves. It’s our ability to take and keep commitments to ourselves, to “walk our talk.” It’s honor with self, a fundamental part of the Character Ethic, the essence of proactive growth.” ~ Stephen Covey
(4b18) CHOICE — “For there are two rules we should always have at hand: That nothing is good or evil, but choice; and, that we are not to lead events, but to follow them. “My brother ougth not to have treated me so.” Very true, but it is for him to see to that. However he treats me, I am to act rightly with regard to him. For this is my concern, the other is somebody else’s; this no one can hinder, the other is open to hindrance.” ~ Epictetus, 3.10.18-9
(4b19) AM I AUTHENTIC OR OBSEQUIOUS? — Discerning the difference between obsequiousness and politeness can be difficult, but courtesy should be rooted in benevolence. Politeness should be the expression of a benevolent regard for the feelings of others; it’s a poor virtue if it’s motivated only by a fear of offending good taste. In its highest form Politeness approaches love.
(4b20) SINGLE-TASK BY PUTTING LIFE IN FULL-SCREEN MODE — “Imagine that everything you do — a work task, answering an email or message, washing a dish, reading an article — goes into full-screen mode, so that you don’t do or look at anything else. You just inhabit that task fully, and are fully present as you do it. What would your life be like? In my experience, it’s much less stressful when you work and live this way. Things get your full attention, and you do them much better. And you can even savor them.” ~ Leo Babauta
(4b21 ) TAKE ACTION — “Action’s ecstasy is instantaneous and compounding: Even if for the millionth time, it works its magic. Its trigger is sure: All you do is peel your ass off the bottom of whatever hole you are in, and climb!” ~ Bryan Ward
(4b22) RESOLUTION — “Resolve to perform what you ought; perform without fail what you resolve.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
(4b23) THINK WIN/WIN — “Most people tend to think in terms of dichotomies: strong or weak, hardball or softball, win or lose. But that kind of thinking is fundamentally flawed. It’s based on power and position rather than on principle. Win/Win is based on the paradigm that there is plenty for everybody, that one person’s success is not achieved at the expense or exclusion of the success of others.” ~ Stephen Covey
(4b24) CONCENTRATION — “It takes but a little to destroy and overturn everything, just a slight deviation from reason. To overturn his ship, a helmsman does not need the same proficiency as he does to keep it safe, but, if he turns it a little too far into the wind, he is lost: and even if he does not do so deliberately, but simply loses his concentration for a moment, he is lost. Such is the case here too. If you nod off for just a moment, all that you have acquired up till then is gone.” ~ Epictetus, 4.3.4-6
(4b25) HOW DO I TREAT SOMEONE I DON’T KNOW? — Your character shows in how you treat those who can do nothing for you.
(4b26) FRUGALITY — “Make no expense but to do good to others or yourself; i.e., waste nothing.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
(4b27) NOPE — I will not be lazy. I will not accept what I have now if I know I can do better. I will not sleep until I finish. I will not leave until I am done. I will not tremble in front of new challenges. I will not stop until I stop breathing. I will be whatever I want to be even if it takes sacrifice even if I have little to give even if it takes time even if I have no time at all. I will succeed. ~ (unknown)
(4b28) SEEK FIRST TO UNDERSTAND, THEN TO BE UNDERSTOOD — “You’ve spent years learning how to read and write, years learning how to speak. But what about listening? What training or education have you had that enables you to listen so that you really, deeply understand another human being from that individual’s own frame of reference?” ~ Stephen Covey
(4b29) CREATE SPACE BETWEEN THINGS — “Add padding to everything. Do half of what you imagine you can do. What would it be like if we did less? What would it be like if we padded how long things took, so that we have the space to actually do them well, with full attention? What would it be like if we took a few minutes’ pause between tasks, to savor the accomplishment of the last task, to savor the space between things, to savor being alive?” ~ Leo Babauta
(4b30) OUTSIDE OUR CONTROL — “If you should ever turn your will to things outside your control in order to impress someone, be sure that you have wrecked your whole purpose in life. Be content, then, to be a philosopher in all that you do, and if you wish also to be seen as one, show yourself first that you are and you will succeed.” ~ Epictetus
(4b31) INDUSTRY — “Lose no time; be always employ’d in something useful; cut off all unnecessary actions.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
(4b32) SYNERGIZE — “What is synergy? Simply defined, it means that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. It means that the relationship which the parts have to each other is a part in and of itself. It is not only a part, but the most catalytic, the most empowering, the most unifying, and the most exciting part.” ~ Stephen Covey
(4b33) MUCH ABIDES — Tho’ much is taken, much abides; And tho’ we are not now that strength which in old days moved Earth and Heaven, that which we are, we are; one equal temper of heroic hearts, made weak by time and fate, but strong in will to strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield. ~ Alfred Lord Tennyson
(4b34) IS THERE AN ELEMENT OF STRUGGLE IN MY HISTORY? — This reminds me to be kind, for everyone I meet is working through their own struggle. Through the experience of my own struggle I can better understand and empathize with others on similar journeys. Furthermore, being reminded of my past struggles suggests perspective on my day-to-day general lack of struggle.
(4b35) MY OATH — Today is the first day of the rest of my life. I shall make no excuses and hold no grudges. I care not where I came from, only where I am going. I don’t compare myself to others, only to myself from yesterday. I shall not brag about successes nor complain about my struggles, but share my experiences and help my fellows. I know I impact those around me with my actions, and so I must move forward, every day. I acknowledge fear, doubt, and despair, but I do not let them defeat me.
(4b36) HONESTY — “I am unafraid as I prepare myself for that day when the artifices and disguises will be stripped away and I shall make judgement of myself. Is it just brave talk, or do I mean what I say? Were they for real, those defiant words I spoke against fortune, or were they just theatre—just acting a part?” ~ Seneca
(4b37) SINCERITY — “Use no hurtful deceit; think innocently and justly, and, if you speak, speak accordingly.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
(4b38) SHARPEN THE SAW — “It’s preserving and enhancing the greatest asset you have–you. It’s renewing the four dimensions of your nature: physical, spiritual, mental, and social/emotional. … “Sharpen the saw” means expressing all four motivations. It means exercising all four dimensions of our nature, regularly and consistently in wise and balanced ways.” ~ Stephen Covey
(4b39) SELF-COMPASSION — Beware the stern, vociferous, insistent, internal critic. In my head, it sounds like me, but it is not me. If I said to another, even a fraction of the things I say incessently to myself, I would be arrested, or more likely, assaulted.
(4b40) WHAT HAVE I BEEN READING? — I’ve performed this experiment countless times. Read little: nothing happens. Read more: ideas, new connections, inspiration, questions, motivation, short-cuts, wonder.
(4b41) JUSTICE — “Wrong none by doing injuries, or omitting the benefits that are your duty.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
(4b42) BEFITTING A HUMAN BEING — “What would you wish to be doing, then, when death finds you? For my part, I would wish it to be something that befits a human being, some beneficient, public-spirited, noble action. But if I cannot be found doing such great things as these I should like at least to be doing that which cannot be impeded and is given me to do, namely, correcting myself, improving the faculty that deals with impressions, toiling to achieve tranquillity, and rendering to the several relationships of life their due; and, if I am so fortunate, advancing to the third area of study, that which deals with the attainment of secure judgements.” ~ Epictetus, 4.10.12-3
(4b43) FIND JOY IN A FEW SIMPLE THINGS — “For me, those include writing, reading/learning, walking and doing other active things, eating simple food, meditating, spending quality time with people I care about. Most of that doesn’t cost anything or require any possessions. To the extent that I remember the simple things I love doing, my life suddenly becomes simpler.” ~ Leo Babauta
(4b44) MODERATION — “Avoid extremes; forbear resenting injuries so much as you think they deserve.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
(4b45) FAULT — “So is it possible to be altogether faultless? No, that is impractical; but it is possible to strive continuously not to commit faults. For we shall have cause to be satisfied if, by never relaxing our attention, we shall escape at least a few faults. But as it is, when you say, “I will begin to pay attention tomorrow,” you should know that what you are really saying is this: “I will be shameless, inopportune, abject today; it will be in the power of others to cause me distress; I will get angry, I will be envious today.” See how many evils you are permitting yourself. But if it is well for you to pay attention tomorrow, how much better would it be today? If it is to your advantage tomorrow, it is much more so today, so that you may be able to do the same again tomorrow, and not put it off once more, to the day after tomorrow.” ~ Epictetus, 4.12.19-21
(4b46) WOULD I WANT TO GO ON A LONG CAR RIDE WITH ME? — Long car rides are a quintessential American experience. Along with the good however, comes the opportunity for bad. With others present the confined space, lack of privacy, and monotony of rolling vistas create a microcosm of life on a tiny stage. How I share that stage with the others in the car, and what specifically I do while on that stage tells all.
(4b47) GET CLEAR ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT, AND SAY NO TO MORE THINGS — “We are rarely very clear on what we want. What if we became crystal clear on what we wanted in life? If we knew what we wanted to create, how we wanted to live … we could say yes to these things, and no to everything else. Saying no to more things would simplify our lives.” ~ Leo Babauta
(4b48) CLEANLINESS — “Tolerate no uncleanliness in body, clothes, or habitation.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
(4b49) AM I SELF-AWARE? — The first step in my journey was realizing I was unhappy. This realization — detecting it, understanding it, believing it, surrendering to it, and finally owning it — was the first piece of bedrock on which I started building.
(4b50) TRANQUILLITY — “Be not disturbed at trifles, or at accidents common or unavoidable.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
(4b51) PRACTICE DOING NOTHING, EXQUISITELY — “No need to plan, no need to read, no need to watch something, no need to do a chore or eat while you do nothing. You will start to notice your brain’s habit of wanting to get something done. This exposes our mental habits, which is a good thing. Keep doing nothing. Sit for awhile, resisting the urge to do something. After some practice, you can get good at doing nothing, and this leads to the mental habit of contentment and gratitude.” ~ Leo Babauta
(4b52) CHASTITY — “Rarely use venery but for health or offspring, never to dullness, weakness, or the injury of your own or another’s peace or reputation.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
(4b53) WHAT IS MY TALK-TO-LISTEN RATIO? — It’s better to listen to understand, rather than to, (for example,) listen to refute. Silence is fine provided one’s own thoughts are pleasant company. When speaking, think first about why you are about to say whatever it is you’re about to say.
(4b54) WE CREATE OUR OWN STRUGGLES — “All the stress, all the frustrations and disappointments, all the busyness and rushing … we create these with attachments in our heads. By letting go, we can relax and live more simply.” ~ Leo Babauta
(4b55) HUMILITY — Imitate Socrates.
(4b56) FESTINA LENTE — Make haste, slowly. Or, unrestrained moderation. — “The worker must be stronger than his project; loads larger than the bearer must necessarily crush him. Certain careers, moreover, are not so demanding in themselves as they are prolific in begetting a mass of other activities. Enterprises which give rise to new and multifarious activities should be avoided; you must not commit yourself to a task from which there is no free egress. Put your hand to one you can finish or at least hope to finish; leave alone those that expand as you work at them and do not stop where you intended they should.” ~ Seneca, On Tranquility
(4b57) LOOK BACK — Look back at some of the things you’ve accomplished or experienced and think… — “Well if that isn’t nice, I don’t know what is.” ~ Kurt Vonnegut — “One never notices what has been done; One can only see what remains to be done.” ~ Marie Curie
(4b58) MIND YOUR OWN — “Not to support this side or that in chariot-racing, this fighter or that in the games. To put up with discomfort and not make demands. To do my own work, mind my own business, and have no time for slanderers.” ~ Marcus Aurelius, med 1.5
(4b59) HOW TO ACT — “Never under compulsion, out of selfishness, without forethought, with misgivings. Don’t gussy up your thoughts. No surplus words or unnecessary actions. Let the spirit in you represent a man, an adult, a citizen, a Roman, a ruler. Taking up his post like a soldier and patiently awaiting his recall from life. Needing no oath or witness. Cheerfulness. Without requiring other people’s help. Or serenity supplied by others. To stand up straight—not straightened.” ~ Marcus Aurelius, med 3.5
(4b60) PERSPECTIVE — “Be willing to be a child and be the Lilliputian in the world of Gulliver, the bat-girl in Yankee Stadium. That’s a more fruitful way to be.” ~ Mary Karr
(4b61) MEMENTO MORI — “Not to live as if you had endless years ahead of you. Death overshadows you. While you’re alive and able—be good.” ~ Marcus Aurelius, med 4.17
(4b62) EMBRACE THE OBSTACLES — “External things are not the problem. It’s your assessment of them. Which you can erase right now. If the problem is something in your own character, who’s stopping you from setting your mind straight? And if it’s that you’re not doing something you think you should be, why not just do it? —But there are insuperable obstacles. Then it’s not a problem. The cause of your inaction lies outside you. —But how can I go on living with that undone? Then depart, with a good conscience, as if you’d done it, embracing the obstacles too.” ~ Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 8.47
It’s great to live a life of courage and compassion… but all the courage and compassion in the world doesn’t make any of it any easier. All it can do is hopefully make it more meaningful, somehow.
I’d go further: The more courage and compassion I muster, the harder it gets. Compassion gives me a big “why” that burns inside, driving me to the next, harder challenge. Courage begets more courage; With each win won through courage, it becomes easier to again deploy courage intentionally. It seems that courage and compassion lead to the tackling of increasing great and difficult challenges. Meaning is great, but I haven’t yet figured out how to use any of it to pay the proverbial rent.
How does play and movement intersect with personal growth, mental health, and the practice of Parkour?
Exploring how Parkour connects to mental health and play reveals deep personal insights.
It’s all about play. And I think that making— I love strengthening and I love building— you know, physical capacity. But in the end, that’s just a couple of stepping stones towards building people’s ability to play.
~ Kel Glaister (6:46)
The discussion opens with reflections on the influence of animals, like Kel’s dog, on humility and how they bring perspective to human movement practice. The conversation then expands to explore the cultural and environmental factors shaping Parkour, emphasizing the unique styles and strengths fostered by different regions. There’s an emphasis on how community and environmental context influence the practice.
Kel shares personal insights about the role of play in movement and the transition from self-critical motivations to a more compassionate approach. Craig and Kel discuss the impact of mental health struggles and how this shaped their training philosophy, shifting focus toward longevity and joy in movement. The role of organizations like Parkour Earth is also examined, highlighting the importance of global representation and grassroots involvement in shaping the future of the discipline.
Takeaways
Nonhuman animals in movement — They provide perspective and humility to human practice.
Cultural and environmental influence — Regional differences shape distinct movement styles in Parkour.
Play as a foundation — Movement should be guided by joy and curiosity, not just performance.
Mental health and movement — Training can transition from self-loathing to self-compassion.
Role of global organizations — Community engagement is crucial for creating representative bodies.
Training longevity — A sustainable approach balances physical and emotional well-being.
The role of ambassadors — Advocacy and representation strengthen global networks in Parkour.
Resources
Parkour Earth — An international body aiming to represent and advocate for the Parkour community globally.
How does movement influence personal change and adaptability in life?
Movement evolves from a tool for improvement to a means of adapting to life’s challenges.
I think that when I started doing Parkour, the movement was a kind of like— it was constant exploration. […] But as more time has gone, I started to feel that that change isn’t just trying to improve. [It’s] more to adapt on how you can perform? Or how would— How do you see a challenge? Or how do you process a challenge?
~ Janne Laurila (1:47)
The conversation explores how movement intertwines with personal growth, adaptability, and energy management. Starting with parkour as a way of improvement, Janne shares his journey of evolving to see movement as a tool for adaptation rather than mere enhancement. Factors such as physical energy, time management, and life changes, like raising children, shape his relationship with movement.
Living in Finland adds layers to this experience, with long periods of light and dark influencing mood and activity. Balancing responsibilities as a parent, entrepreneur, and student while managing ADHD highlights the challenges of maintaining schedules and finding moments of recharge. The conversation concludes with reflections on compassion, curiosity, and the acceptance of being incomplete as guiding principles.
Takeaways
Change and movement — How parkour shifts from improvement-focused to adaptation-oriented.
Energy and time management — Balancing energy and available time in a demanding schedule.
Impact of light cycles — Navigating the challenges of extreme light and darkness in Finland.
ADHD and scheduling — The difficulty of adhering to schedules despite careful planning.
Family integration — Using Pokémon Go as a way to bond with children and stay active.
Self-compassion — Recognizing the importance of being kind to oneself amid life’s chaos.
Continuous growth — Embracing curiosity and the idea of being incomplete as motivations.
Resources
Daniel Vitalis — A podcaster discussing movement as nutrition.
Pokémon Go — A mobile game blending outdoor exploration with technology.
How can movement professionals inspire hope, encourage personal growth, and create spaces that foster inclusivity and collaboration?
‘Peanut butter and chocolate’ perfectly describes Dani Almeyda and Tim Anderson’s working relationship, and why they’ve successfully built a business together. They discuss Original Strength, what it takes to work with someone for 10 years, and why they remain passionate about their work. Dani unpacks her work with the Women’s Movement Collaborative, and Tim shares his process and influences. They explain their beginnings as OS, how they’ve grown, and what motivates each of them personally.
If you walk into our studio on the wall, it says: ‘I am awesomely and wonderfully made.’ That’s the message we want people to get when they come in to learn about themselves.
~ Tim Anderson (22:23)
Tim Anderson is an experienced fitness professional, writer, speaker, and former fire fighter. He has over 20 years of experience as a personal trainer, and is the co-creator of the Original Strength System and Original Strength Institute. In addition to fitness, he has authored and co-authored over 5 books. Tim’s methodology is centered on one key principle; we are meant to feel good and be strong throughout our lives.
Our whole goal has always just been to get people to move— to move and to get back to the very basics and the foundations. And the heart of that has always been that we wanted people to feel the hope that movement can bring into life, and to understand that moving heals the body.
~ Dani Almeyda (23:18)
Danielle Almeyda is a fitness professional with over a decade of experience in the industry. She is a the co-creator of the Original Strength System as well as the Original Strength Institute, and the founder of the Women’s Movement Collaborative. Dani’s passion lies in helping people reclaim their movement and their hope.
The conversation explores the transformative power of movement, highlighting its potential to heal the body and inspire hope. It delves into the foundational principles of the Original Strength system, emphasizing simplicity and accessibility in helping individuals reclaim their innate ability to move well. The speakers discuss their mission to create safe, inclusive spaces where movement becomes a tool for empowerment and personal growth, transcending the traditional fitness lens. They describe their unique partnership, which blends complementary strengths to innovate within the movement education field.
A significant part of the discussion focuses on building connections and fostering collaboration. The speakers share insights from their experiences with the Women’s Movement Collaborative, an initiative designed to create a supportive environment for women to explore movement and build confidence. They reflect on the challenges of maintaining authenticity while scaling their efforts and the importance of being relatable to foster meaningful connections with clients and collaborators. Their shared belief in the power of movement to positively impact lives resonates throughout the dialogue.
Takeaways
Creating safe spaces — The importance of designing environments where individuals feel valued and supported in their movement journey.
Movement as a way of life — Movement is presented not just as an exercise regimen but as an integral part of living with vitality.
Collaboration and synergy — The dynamic partnership described showcases the value of blending strengths to create impactful programs.
Empathy in coaching — Coaches must cultivate compassion and relatability to connect deeply with their clients.
Simplifying movement — Returning to foundational, simple movements can be transformative for physical and emotional well-being.
Women’s Movement Collaborative — The impact of creating women-only spaces to foster confidence, vulnerability, and exploration in movement.
Balancing personal growth and business — Insights into navigating personal and professional development within the movement industry.
Resources
Original Strength System — Dani’s and Tim’s movement system designed to help individuals reclaim their innate ability to move well and feel strong.
Tim’s books — Becoming Bulletproof, Original Strength, Press Reset, and more.
How do creative individuals balance personal growth, self-compassion, and the challenges of isolation inherent in artistic endeavors like podcasting and acting?
Balancing the solitude of podcasting with the communal energy of acting is examined through personal anecdotes.
It’s really just being present and focusing only on that one thing, and I think it’s kind of a meditative experience.
~ Tracy Bedford (20:07)
The conversation examines the personal journey of balancing creative pursuits like podcasting and acting with the emotional toll of isolation and perfectionism. Tracy and Craig discuss the challenges of sustaining creative momentum, especially when life’s demands and self-doubt intervene. Acting emerges as a counterbalance to the solitude of podcasting, offering communal support and immediate feedback.
A significant theme revolves around self-compassion and learning to accept one’s current state, whether in creative highs or lows. The importance of presence, mindfulness, and finding restorative activities—such as walking in nature, journaling, or engaging with a supportive community—is highlighted. The conversation underscores the value of self-reflection in nurturing both personal and artistic growth.
Takeaways
The interplay of creativity and community — how acting provides immediate connection and podcasting requires self-sufficiency.
The challenge of perfectionism — striving for high standards while learning to let go.
The role of solitude in creativity — distinguishing between being alone and feeling lonely.
The importance of presence — mindfulness as a means to enhance creative focus.
Therapy and self-compassion — tools for navigating personal and artistic challenges.
Recharge strategies — walks in nature, reading, and inspiring podcasts as restorative activities.
Resources
Tom Bilyeu — Podcaster known for discussing self-improvement and resilience.
Joel Osteen — Inspirational speaker whose messages were adapted in the conversation.
How can individuals approach conversations more effectively to foster understanding, manage conflict, and overcome fear?
The illusion of control deeply influences how we approach conversations and conflict.
People really like the idea of control, and I think a lot of things we do in our lives are to live under the illusion of control.
~ Sam Ardery (1:16)
This conversation explores the nature of control, fear, and personal accountability in conversations and conflict resolution. A central theme is the illusion of control and how it shapes our responses to unexpected situations. Techniques such as the “P-A-R-C” framework—pause, assess, reflect, and choose—offer practical tools for navigating conversations more thoughtfully.
Other significant topics include the role of compassion and self-compassion, particularly in the context of conflict and personal growth. The discussion emphasizes the importance of understanding one’s own role in disputes, highlighted by the idea of “accepting your 5%.” Additionally, the fear of rejection and failure is dissected, with insights into how embracing these fears can lead to greater resilience and better outcomes in personal and professional interactions.
Takeaways
The illusion of control — People often act under the false belief that they can control outcomes, which influences how they handle conflict and conversations.
The “P-A-R-C” framework — A method to pause, assess, reflect, and choose, providing a structured approach to challenging interactions.
Self-compassion as a foundation — Recognizing and practicing self-compassion is essential for genuinely empathizing with others.
Radical listening — Listening without agenda and being open to the possibility of being wrong is critical for meaningful dialogue.
Accepting responsibility — Taking accountability for one’s share of the conflict, even if small, can shift the dynamics of disputes.
Fear of rejection — Overcoming the fear of rejection is crucial for effective outreach and building connections.
Discomfort in growth — Embracing discomfort as a natural part of personal and relational development leads to lasting growth.
The dichotomy of control — Separating what one can control from external circumstances helps manage expectations and reduces anxiety.
Resources
Sam Ardery’s website — Features writings and resources on mediation, negotiation, and personal growth.
Positively Conflicted — Sam’s book exploring conflict resolution and personal development through practical stories and frameworks.
TK is an all-around mover, a dancer, rock climber, traceusse and earned her degree in athletic training. In addition to her movement practices, TK is a certified authentic Tantra instructor, teaching holistic healing of body, mind, spirit and sex. TK considers herself a sex activist and is the founder of LoveCraft, a sexual coaching and empowerment collective.
Tantra was the obvious place to begin since we were surely going to end up talking about tantric sex. My fear was that most people’s—myself included—knowledge of Tantra would be something to do with the artist, Sting. We immediately agreed that leaving the world only knowing about “men in linen pants” would be a disservice. “Tantra means, literally, to weave light and sound with form, the light being visualizations of your chakras in your body, sound being chants that you’re making, and then the form being your body, your physical body. That’s it, in a nutshell. The way that often looks is meditating. The way a lot of people do that is they’ll meditate and then have sex; they’ll meditate during sex; they’ll meditate on their own without any sex. Yeah, that’s kind of that, which means nothing, right? It’s like a, ‘Cool, and then what?’ which is what got me into having a coach.” — ~ TK from, ~4’40”
I spend a lot of time trying to imagine people’s experiences of things I create. Partly that happens as a direct result of my having empathy and being compassionate—once you start, you can’t stop. (“My mission is creating better conversations to spread understanding and compassion.”) Sometimes my efforts pay off big with a blinding flash of clarity.
I’m regularly doing outreach to people who know me well, a little, or often not-at-all. I’m inviting someone to join me, for a recording of a conversation… which I’m going to immediately publish, without editing. It turns out that scares the crap out of most people. (Are your palms sweating just thinking about it?)
Well, I solved that problem a while ago: When we’re chatting, before we start recording, I explain there’s a safety net. They get the option to veto. I explain that after we stop recording, I will ask them if they’re okay with what we recorded. If they’re not happy, it just gets deleted. And I’ll still be happy because the conversation we had becomes that much more special because I got to experience something that no one else will ever hear.
Today it occurred to me that I should explain that even farther up front. Like right up front on the invitation page that I send people to. If your palms were sweating up there, thinking about being recorded, consider this…
Safety net After we stop recording, you decide if I publish it. Seriously. You get a big, safe, veto option. Published or vetoed, I’ll still be glad we had a chance to have a cool conversation.