At the kickoff of an unusually long issue of 7 for Sunday, I’ll try to keep this first part short, because (as I often say, because I really do mean it) I appreciate your time and attention, and I don’t take it for granted.
Godin’s point—that sometimes we choose to assert that something was ours to take, when in fact someone was kind enough to give a gift—really landed for me. I’m reminded of a recently-run-here quote from Kevin Kelly about the growth opportunities pointed to by irritation with others.
Festina lenta is a phrase I once used as my touchstone for a year. It means, to make haste s l o w l y. It’s inherently ridiculous, but also points to the very old and very excellent point about taking one’s time. It’s an antidote to the venoms busy and hurry. “These days” things are not simply faster, they are glossed over. The super-power I need to cultivate more is discrimination: What experiences are valuable? What pursuits are valuable? There’s [almost] always a faster way… but which is the better way?
In that spirit, consider the two paradigms that follow, not as you would two spirited debaters but rather two paintings hanging at opposite ends of a gallery. You are in the middle, bathed in natural light, forced by history to judge their color and attraction.
A year ago, when I set out to reimagine what my email (this thing you’re likely reading in email, which is based on some of the stuff I post to my blog) should be, my first thought was: “What do I like to get in my email?” What I like is when the entire email is actually in the email; no bait-and-switch, here’s-a-taste, but now you have to come to the web site to actually read it. I like when images are special; when they are just rare enough to be surprising and interesting. I like to take my time reading. I like when the font and colors are easy on the eyes. So that’s what I tried to create.
I wasn’t sure whether I should write this celebratory item to be in issue 52 or 53. (Or maybe I should celebrate on round numbers like 50 and 100?) Thinking about this reminded me that most of you (I imagine) don’t know these weekly 7 for Sunday emails have issue numbers.
You see, for obtuse technical reasons there are three features that are only available if you go to the web site to read 7 for Sunday. First, the issue number is in the header at the very top. Second, each issue starts with a reading-time estimate. I really like that feature; I love when what’s inside is clearly labeled on the can. Third, at the bottom of each issue are buttons to navigate through all of the issues. If you’ve never seen the web page version of 7 for Sunday, now would be a fun time to take a look (and it would take you about 4 hours to read through all 52 issues.)
This modular way to consider goals removes so much trepidation. A major win in your life is no longer at the end of “a journey of a thousand steps.” It’s a journey of nine or fourteen or fifty-five Blocks. It’s a staircase, not an ocean to be crossed.
A year ago, when I set out to reimagine what my email should be, I was looking forward to seeing how it turned out after 52 issues. I think it turned out pretty well, and I hope you agree. Again, thanks for reading. I appreciate your time and attention, and I don’t take it for granted.
There is a time and place for maximum effort—yes, that’s a Deadpool reference—and there’s a time and place for stillness and calm. I’m fascinated by the relationship and interaction between physicality (as movement versus stillness) and mentality (as agitation versus calmness.) I’ve had transformational experiences at both extremes of physicality, with mental calmness. I do get mentally agitated. But I fear that too many people experience calmness far too rarely, possibly never.
This often means working more thoughtfully, and maybe even more slowly. Slow work is not unproductive work. What we lose in speed we more than make up for in deliberateness—as well as in undistracted attention, a critical factor of productivity.
Sometimes people ask me about Stoicism, and I suck at explaining it. Thinking and writing about calmness today, I’m struck that I should probably mention eudaimonia (eu̯-dai̯-mon-ía). Eudaimonia is a key value Stoicism advocates striving for.
[…] is a state of being and consciousness that is consistent with the active, effective activity of ideal agency and in general is characterized by the calm (equanimity; tranquility) that comes from the absence of further moral struggle and the absence of retrospective regret or prospective alarm about things outside one’s control, together with the confidence that comes from the effortless persistence of moral purpose.
It’s easier to desire and pursue the attention of tens of millions of total strangers than it is to accept the love and loyalty of the people closest to us.
To this day, if I realize I’m in a downward spiral I bring my attention to my next decision. (“Realize” being the important word there. I am too often actually in a downward spiral without realizing it is so.) Left foot, or right foot next? Take a nap, or continue what I’m doing? What’s the smallest next thing I can do, which would be a positive? Maybe the best thing I can do is to simply cease everything and pause.
Bodies start to hurt when they aren’t moved enough, but also because when they are moved, some parts aren’t moving with ease. This then makes it harder to move enough, and our movements get more diminished, immobility and pain arises, and we think it’s all inevitable.
I find it empowering to know that making small, simple decisions about movement can profoundly affect my overall health and mobility. I’m not taking Bowman’s word for it though (she does have lots of great things to say about movement) I’ve simply taken note of what happens. Sometimes (often?) the better, small choice is the slightly more difficult now option. As Jerzy Gregorek put it, “easy choices, hard life. Hard choices, easy life.” Choose wisely.
The sensations of physiological sleep-pressure are deeply unsettling. To begin to lose the ability to control one’s body… To begin to lose consciousness… To begin to lose stretches of time…
Lately I’ve been trying to pay attention to the tiniest hints of sleep pressure. The other evening I had a thing to do… and I was struggling. I wanted to do the thing, but I was unable to do it. As soon as I realized I was struggling with sleep pressure I was off to nap knowing sleep pressure is not a thing I can avoid, only post-pone. Better to sleep now then to continue wasting my time struggling.
The idea that getting adequate sleep is a crucial ingredient for good health – as crucial as good nourishment – is one that many societies have been slow to embrace. The pressures and pace of modern lifestyles certainly don’t encourage healthy sleep practices, whether it’s from the pressures of work or the ubiquitous increase of anxiety-induced insomnia.
Yikes. I think I’ve gotten anxiety-induced insomnia just reading that. So on the off-chance you’ve not yet realized that sleep is—literally, without exaggeration—the most important thing in your life, I’ll just say: Sleep you should, and perchance to dream.
My time is my only real resource. My time is finite. I’m temporarily able-bodied. I’m temporarily in control of my thoughts—and only mostly in control if I’m honest. We feel deeply touched when someone pays attention to us. This is why many people fight (figuratively and literally) for attention. The power of all the solitary experiences (books and music, meditation and personal movement, writing and all other composition, regardless of medium) is that we are free from the constraints of others’ time. With the solitary we remain entirely in control of the use of our own time.
By comparison, the consumption of stories via electronic media can leave us feeling peculiarly undernourished, dissatisfied and unfulfilled, as if we had just gulped down fast food. Despite an insatiable desire for more, we rarely feel uplifted, and it’s not often that we think about the characters for days afterwards. Storytelling is the oldest, purest and most direct form of human communication. Modern technology is no substitute for this unique compact between narrator and listener.
The trick (in addition to T. E. Lawrence’s “not minding it hurts”) is to be aware of when we need to surrender our control to the others’ time. Sometimes we need to be enthralled. Sometimes we need to feel touched. Sometimes we need to feel ourselves given over to the power of others. For that, the power is more so in the telling.
Trees often have my attention. I find myself thinking about the spot where a tree is standing. Whether its seed fell there, or someone planted it, that spot is it. The tree is simply going to stand there as the sun whips across the sky thousands of times. I imagine the tree turning its leaves quickly (in tree time) to catch what light it can during each flash overhead.
Intrigued by this unheard of species, Wang set out to see it for himself and to collect specimens, which he shared with colleagues. One of them was Hsen Hsu Hu. A diligent paleobotanist, he had read of Miki’s fossil discovery five years earlier. As soon as he saw the peculiar needle pattern, Hu recognized the “water fir” as a Metasequoia.
There’s a lot of interesting leaps in the story Popova shares. Across a war, across two cultures, but the vast time this tree has crossed is insane. We have fossils of this tree… and we still have the live tree. My mind boggles.
Back in 2018 I traveled to an event at Gerlev in Denmark. I gave a brief presentation one morning explaining the Movers Mindset podcast. The other day, I stumbled over my notes, and felt this was worth a fresh posting.
When we move through the world we can move in an ordinary or an extraordinary way. Ordinary movement is easy; it follows established paths; and it is boring. Extraordinary movement requires excellence, knowledge, and independence. When I talk about movement, I am talking about extraordinary movement because it is much more interesting. Movement—whether that is Parkour, ADD, Freerunning—is a celebration of freedom in the context of an unforgiving reality that cannot be ignored.
These ideas form the foundation of movement: Pay attention to reality, learn as much as you can and practice. With parkour–as with just about everything in this world–the true beauty of the practice can be fully appreciated only by taking a deeper dive into it. This means we have to understand not just the physical aspects of movement but the mental and philosophical basis for movement.
As a mastery discipline—something that can be practiced for a lifetime with continued improvement—movement focuses more on the journey than the destination. Understanding the values, interests, and challenges in the minds of the best practitioners is the best way of showing the path of movement in a meaningful and accessible way. Our podcast, with its audio format and transcripts, naturally emphasizes the mental and psychological aspects of movement.
The podcast brings out the more intellectual elements of movement. My goal is to emphasize the value that movement and movers create and develop through their practice. In pushing the limits of human potential, movers demonstrate objectively that such achievements are possible. Since the physical aspects of practice can be directly observed through images and videos, the visible part is already well covered. But I believe the mental aspect is where the real magic happens, and it is less well covered because it is not spectacular. Video will grab your attention, excite you and may even get you to try some new things, but to get really good at movement you need a deep understanding.
When you listen to the podcasts, I hope you will notice a distinct difference in our approach. Our goal is always to show the guest in the best possible light. We aim to illuminate and showcase their values, ideas, and principles in a way that makes them accessible and relevant to the listener while showing the proper respect for their achievements. Each interview is a collaborative effort with that guest. Our shared goal is to clearly communicate ideas that will be useful to each listener in the context of their personal journey of exploration.
Yogis, martial artists and chess masters often describe how much they’ve learned about life from in-depth practice and mastery in their disciplines. We hear similar sentiments from musicians, sculptors, painters, hunters, and chefs. Movement as a mastery discipline is no different. A big part of its value comes from the lessons it teaches us about life and reality. Knowing your own strengths and limitations is critical. Reality is unforgiving. Physics always works and is important. You cannot fake competence. Courage is required to overcome self-imposed limitations. The list of lessons is limited only by our ability to think and to understand movement.
I am passionate about creating and promoting rational discussion. I am passionate about sharing others’ stories, wisdom, insights, accomplishments, goals, visions and delusions. Describing and illuminating the ideas behind extraordinary movement and human exceptionalism can help us all to improve our experience and appreciate the richness and beauty of life.
Could you contribute a testimonial for 7 for Sunday? I’m always on the lookout for some, “This is better than sliced bread! ~ Craig C.” testimonials. If you’re open to being quoted, please hit reply and send me a testimonial. (They end up getting posted on the front of my site where the main signup is for 7 for Sunday.)
And please consider sharing 7 for Sunday with others. Forwarding the email you received works, but you can also just point people to https://constantine.name/7-for-sunday/.
Thanks for reading! I appreciate your time and attention, and I don’t take it for granted. :)
But the deeper reason is that there’s really no such thing as a natural resource. All resources are artificial. They are a product of technology. And economic growth is ultimately driven, not by material resources, but by ideas.
A few years ago my thinking shifted. I used to think of something, simply by its existence, as being a “natural resource.” More recently I’ve begun to pay attention to which, and how much, technology has to be added for something to be a resource. Anything in the ground has no special value until someone adds the mining or drilling, the refinement, distribution and so on. That makes it clearer how to evaluate the trade-offs.
It becomes easier to visualize, and realize, that the constraints are not the amount of the natural resource (the raw stuff) but rather that the limits are all the expense, destruction, energy, transformation, and ideas that have to go into making that raw stuff usable. And sometimes, it’s just not the right trade-off to make a something into something useable.
As it happens, my journalism often requires I read a mountain of material. For any given Wired column, for example, I might read dozens of white papers, reports, and news articles. I’ll also do ten or twelve interviews and transcribe them. When I’m researching a longer feature for a magazine? This number quickly grows to scores of documents, and several dozen interviews. And with a book — like my last one, Coders — we’re talking about literally hundreds and hundreds of documents (books, papers, etc) and several hundred transcribed interviews.
I love when people take the time to explain some of the effort which goes into writing, then writing well, writing articles well, and writing books well. I’m still on level, “writing” and knowing what goes into writing well (let alone writing articles or books well) keeps me from developing any delusions of grandeur. I read Thompson’s article (which I hope you can read on Medium if you wish to click through) and I loved it. That’s enough to make the reading worth doing. Being able to quote, share, reflect and sometimes integrate what I’ve read? Priceless.
Also: Thank you for reading. I don’t take your attention for granted. :^)
The results of fully listening are profound and couldn’t be more relevant today in times of immense distractions and a world constantly in a rush: Others feel accepted.
They feel heard. They take their own words more seriously. By thinking out loud, they are discovering their own words and, by that, their own true selves.
This article touches on a number of different things which are interesting about conversation. I was surprised to realize that despite its having several great quotes from famous authors, this bit from Tonn was the part I kept returning to. It’s just deposited quietly in the middle of the whole thing which made it all the more delightful to discover; if I’d only skimmed I’d surely have missed it.
Let’s be fair: In today’s world, no one actually listens and every thing is intentionally distracting as it clamors for our attention. That makes what should be the “simple” act of listening into something profound. I’ve encountered the effect Tonn’s highlighting many times. The more I listen, the more each guest seems to be on a journey of self-discovery. The more I implicitly promise not to interrupt them, the more confident becomes their self-exploration. And it’s made all the more special by their not expecting it.
I have a series of prompts which are a combination of quotes and small notes I’ve written for myself. I’ve mentioned this a few times in various posts tagged Reflection. As I collect them—pretty rare these days—I record them on slips in the slipbox. In 2019 I posted Daily Reminders describing what I was doing and listed the 42 prompts. Below you will find the current list of 62.
Over the years I’ve taken the time to type them into OmniFocus, the personal productivity software which I use. I carefully created individual “to-dos” for each one, with each scheduled to repeat at just the right number of days, and lined up their initial due dates. Many years later now, every day, one of them comes up digitally as a reflection prompt. While I recognize everyone of them, there are enough of them that I cannot remember which one will be next.
(4b1) AM I AN ENERGY-GIVER OR -TAKER? — Strive to lift others up; to leave them feeling better than before the encounter. While being mindful of my own energy level, seek ways to create a zest for life in others.
(4b2) BECOME MINDFUL OF ATTACHMENTS THAT LEAD TO CLUTTER AND COMPLEXITY — For example, if you are attached to sentimental items, you won’t be able to let go of clutter. If you are attached to living a certain way, you will not be able to let go of a lot of stuff. If you are attached to doing a lot of activities and messaging everyone, your life will be complex. ~ Leo Babauta
(4b3) PERSPECTIVE — “In the meanwhile, while they are robbing and being robbed, while they disrupt each other’s repose and make one another miserable, life remains without profit, without pleasure, without moral improvement. No one keeps death in view, everyone focuses on remote hopes. Some even make posthumous provisions—massive sepulchures, dedications of public buildings, gladiatorial shows, and pretentious obsequies. But the funerals of such people should be conducted by torch and taper light, as though they had in fact died in childhood.” ~ Seneca, On the Shortness of Life
(4b4) TEMPERANCE — “Eat not to dullness; Drink not to elevation.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
(4b5) BE PROACTIVE — “While the word proactivity is now fairly common in management literature, it is a word you won’t find in most dictionaries. It means more than meerly taking initiative. It means that as human beings, we are responsible for our own lives. Our behavior is a function of our decisions, not our conditions. We can subordinate feelings to values. We have the initiative and the responsibility to make things happen.” ~ Stephen Covey
(4b6) LOOK INWARD — “Everybody is too busy with their own lives to give a damn about your book, painting, screenplay, etc., especially if you haven’t sold it yet. And the ones that aren’t [too busy], you don’t want in your life anyway.” ~ Jason Korman
(4b7) AM I LIKELY TO “ACT” OR “REACT” TO A TASK? — Seek the reason for the task so that it may motivate me to proper action. Otherwise, determine how to eliminate or avoid the task entirely. Do or do not; there is no try.
(4b8) SILENCE — “Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself; avoid trifling conversation.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
(4b9) IMPRESSIONS — “But if you have in reality given thought to nothing other than the proper use of impressions, then as soon as you get up in the morning ask yourself, “What do I lack in order to be free from passion? What, to enjoy tranquillity? What am I? Am I a mere worthless body? Am I property? Am I reputation? None of these. What, then? I am a rational creature.” What, then, is required of you? Go over your actions. “Where did I transgress: in relation to peace of mind? What did I do that was unfriendly, or unsociable, or inconsiderate? What have I failed to do that I ought to have done with regard to these matters?” ~ Epictetus, 4.6.34-5
(4b10) WHAT AM I DOING WHILE ON “THE BENCH”? — If there is somewhere I want to be, begin walking. Identify something which I can do now, or very soon, which is interesting. Remember that efficacy is active, not passive.
(4b11) BEGIN WITH THE END IN MIND — “Each part of your life can be examined in the context of the whole, of what really matters most to you. By keeping that end clearly in mind you can make certain that whatever you do on any particular day does not violate the criteria you have defined as supremely important, and that each day of your life contributes in a meaningful way to the vision you have to your life as a whole.” ~ Stephen Covey
(4b12) IMPROVE ONESELF — “So now, are you not willing to help yourself? And how much easier such assistance is! You need not kill, imprison, or assault a man; you need not come into the market-place, you have merely to talk with yourself, the man who will be most readily persuaded, and to whom no one can be more persuassive than yourself. So, in the first place, pass judgement on your actions; but when you have condemned them, do not give up on yourself, nor be like those mean-spirited people who, when they have once given way, abandon themselves entirely, and are, so to speak, swept off by the flood.” ~ Epictetus, 4.9.13-4
(4b13) DISTRACTION, BUSYNESS AND CONSTANT SWITCHING ARE MENTAL HABITS — We don’t need any of these habits, but they build up over the years because they comfort us. We can live more simply by letting go of these mental habits. What would life be like without constant switching, distraction and busyness? ~ Leo Babauta
(4b14) ORDER — “Let all your things have their places; let each part of your business have its time.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
(4b15) NOTICE THE SPACE — “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” ~ Viktor Frankl
(4b16) WHAT CAN I DO TO BE SO GOOD THEY CAN’T IGNORE ME? — Continuous improvement? A “big swing?” A simple but insightful solution? The path to “the best” is not obvious and likely does not pass directly through the most-obvious next thing.
(4b17) PUT FIRST THINGS FIRST — “The degree to which we have developed our independent will in our everyday lives is measured by our personal integrity. Integrity is, fundamentally, the value we place on ourselves. It’s our ability to take and keep commitments to ourselves, to “walk our talk.” It’s honor with self, a fundamental part of the Character Ethic, the essence of proactive growth.” ~ Stephen Covey
(4b18) CHOICE — “For there are two rules we should always have at hand: That nothing is good or evil, but choice; and, that we are not to lead events, but to follow them. “My brother ougth not to have treated me so.” Very true, but it is for him to see to that. However he treats me, I am to act rightly with regard to him. For this is my concern, the other is somebody else’s; this no one can hinder, the other is open to hindrance.” ~ Epictetus, 3.10.18-9
(4b19) AM I AUTHENTIC OR OBSEQUIOUS? — Discerning the difference between obsequiousness and politeness can be difficult, but courtesy should be rooted in benevolence. Politeness should be the expression of a benevolent regard for the feelings of others; it’s a poor virtue if it’s motivated only by a fear of offending good taste. In its highest form Politeness approaches love.
(4b20) SINGLE-TASK BY PUTTING LIFE IN FULL-SCREEN MODE — “Imagine that everything you do — a work task, answering an email or message, washing a dish, reading an article — goes into full-screen mode, so that you don’t do or look at anything else. You just inhabit that task fully, and are fully present as you do it. What would your life be like? In my experience, it’s much less stressful when you work and live this way. Things get your full attention, and you do them much better. And you can even savor them.” ~ Leo Babauta
(4b21 ) TAKE ACTION — “Action’s ecstasy is instantaneous and compounding: Even if for the millionth time, it works its magic. Its trigger is sure: All you do is peel your ass off the bottom of whatever hole you are in, and climb!” ~ Bryan Ward
(4b22) RESOLUTION — “Resolve to perform what you ought; perform without fail what you resolve.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
(4b23) THINK WIN/WIN — “Most people tend to think in terms of dichotomies: strong or weak, hardball or softball, win or lose. But that kind of thinking is fundamentally flawed. It’s based on power and position rather than on principle. Win/Win is based on the paradigm that there is plenty for everybody, that one person’s success is not achieved at the expense or exclusion of the success of others.” ~ Stephen Covey
(4b24) CONCENTRATION — “It takes but a little to destroy and overturn everything, just a slight deviation from reason. To overturn his ship, a helmsman does not need the same proficiency as he does to keep it safe, but, if he turns it a little too far into the wind, he is lost: and even if he does not do so deliberately, but simply loses his concentration for a moment, he is lost. Such is the case here too. If you nod off for just a moment, all that you have acquired up till then is gone.” ~ Epictetus, 4.3.4-6
(4b25) HOW DO I TREAT SOMEONE I DON’T KNOW? — Your character shows in how you treat those who can do nothing for you.
(4b26) FRUGALITY — “Make no expense but to do good to others or yourself; i.e., waste nothing.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
(4b27) NOPE — I will not be lazy. I will not accept what I have now if I know I can do better. I will not sleep until I finish. I will not leave until I am done. I will not tremble in front of new challenges. I will not stop until I stop breathing. I will be whatever I want to be even if it takes sacrifice even if I have little to give even if it takes time even if I have no time at all. I will succeed. ~ (unknown)
(4b28) SEEK FIRST TO UNDERSTAND, THEN TO BE UNDERSTOOD — “You’ve spent years learning how to read and write, years learning how to speak. But what about listening? What training or education have you had that enables you to listen so that you really, deeply understand another human being from that individual’s own frame of reference?” ~ Stephen Covey
(4b29) CREATE SPACE BETWEEN THINGS — “Add padding to everything. Do half of what you imagine you can do. What would it be like if we did less? What would it be like if we padded how long things took, so that we have the space to actually do them well, with full attention? What would it be like if we took a few minutes’ pause between tasks, to savor the accomplishment of the last task, to savor the space between things, to savor being alive?” ~ Leo Babauta
(4b30) OUTSIDE OUR CONTROL — “If you should ever turn your will to things outside your control in order to impress someone, be sure that you have wrecked your whole purpose in life. Be content, then, to be a philosopher in all that you do, and if you wish also to be seen as one, show yourself first that you are and you will succeed.” ~ Epictetus
(4b31) INDUSTRY — “Lose no time; be always employ’d in something useful; cut off all unnecessary actions.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
(4b32) SYNERGIZE — “What is synergy? Simply defined, it means that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. It means that the relationship which the parts have to each other is a part in and of itself. It is not only a part, but the most catalytic, the most empowering, the most unifying, and the most exciting part.” ~ Stephen Covey
(4b33) MUCH ABIDES — Tho’ much is taken, much abides; And tho’ we are not now that strength which in old days moved Earth and Heaven, that which we are, we are; one equal temper of heroic hearts, made weak by time and fate, but strong in will to strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield. ~ Alfred Lord Tennyson
(4b34) IS THERE AN ELEMENT OF STRUGGLE IN MY HISTORY? — This reminds me to be kind, for everyone I meet is working through their own struggle. Through the experience of my own struggle I can better understand and empathize with others on similar journeys. Furthermore, being reminded of my past struggles suggests perspective on my day-to-day general lack of struggle.
(4b35) MY OATH — Today is the first day of the rest of my life. I shall make no excuses and hold no grudges. I care not where I came from, only where I am going. I don’t compare myself to others, only to myself from yesterday. I shall not brag about successes nor complain about my struggles, but share my experiences and help my fellows. I know I impact those around me with my actions, and so I must move forward, every day. I acknowledge fear, doubt, and despair, but I do not let them defeat me.
(4b36) HONESTY — “I am unafraid as I prepare myself for that day when the artifices and disguises will be stripped away and I shall make judgement of myself. Is it just brave talk, or do I mean what I say? Were they for real, those defiant words I spoke against fortune, or were they just theatre—just acting a part?” ~ Seneca
(4b37) SINCERITY — “Use no hurtful deceit; think innocently and justly, and, if you speak, speak accordingly.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
(4b38) SHARPEN THE SAW — “It’s preserving and enhancing the greatest asset you have–you. It’s renewing the four dimensions of your nature: physical, spiritual, mental, and social/emotional. … “Sharpen the saw” means expressing all four motivations. It means exercising all four dimensions of our nature, regularly and consistently in wise and balanced ways.” ~ Stephen Covey
(4b39) SELF-COMPASSION — Beware the stern, vociferous, insistent, internal critic. In my head, it sounds like me, but it is not me. If I said to another, even a fraction of the things I say incessently to myself, I would be arrested, or more likely, assaulted.
(4b40) WHAT HAVE I BEEN READING? — I’ve performed this experiment countless times. Read little: nothing happens. Read more: ideas, new connections, inspiration, questions, motivation, short-cuts, wonder.
(4b41) JUSTICE — “Wrong none by doing injuries, or omitting the benefits that are your duty.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
(4b42) BEFITTING A HUMAN BEING — “What would you wish to be doing, then, when death finds you? For my part, I would wish it to be something that befits a human being, some beneficient, public-spirited, noble action. But if I cannot be found doing such great things as these I should like at least to be doing that which cannot be impeded and is given me to do, namely, correcting myself, improving the faculty that deals with impressions, toiling to achieve tranquillity, and rendering to the several relationships of life their due; and, if I am so fortunate, advancing to the third area of study, that which deals with the attainment of secure judgements.” ~ Epictetus, 4.10.12-3
(4b43) FIND JOY IN A FEW SIMPLE THINGS — “For me, those include writing, reading/learning, walking and doing other active things, eating simple food, meditating, spending quality time with people I care about. Most of that doesn’t cost anything or require any possessions. To the extent that I remember the simple things I love doing, my life suddenly becomes simpler.” ~ Leo Babauta
(4b44) MODERATION — “Avoid extremes; forbear resenting injuries so much as you think they deserve.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
(4b45) FAULT — “So is it possible to be altogether faultless? No, that is impractical; but it is possible to strive continuously not to commit faults. For we shall have cause to be satisfied if, by never relaxing our attention, we shall escape at least a few faults. But as it is, when you say, “I will begin to pay attention tomorrow,” you should know that what you are really saying is this: “I will be shameless, inopportune, abject today; it will be in the power of others to cause me distress; I will get angry, I will be envious today.” See how many evils you are permitting yourself. But if it is well for you to pay attention tomorrow, how much better would it be today? If it is to your advantage tomorrow, it is much more so today, so that you may be able to do the same again tomorrow, and not put it off once more, to the day after tomorrow.” ~ Epictetus, 4.12.19-21
(4b46) WOULD I WANT TO GO ON A LONG CAR RIDE WITH ME? — Long car rides are a quintessential American experience. Along with the good however, comes the opportunity for bad. With others present the confined space, lack of privacy, and monotony of rolling vistas create a microcosm of life on a tiny stage. How I share that stage with the others in the car, and what specifically I do while on that stage tells all.
(4b47) GET CLEAR ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT, AND SAY NO TO MORE THINGS — “We are rarely very clear on what we want. What if we became crystal clear on what we wanted in life? If we knew what we wanted to create, how we wanted to live … we could say yes to these things, and no to everything else. Saying no to more things would simplify our lives.” ~ Leo Babauta
(4b48) CLEANLINESS — “Tolerate no uncleanliness in body, clothes, or habitation.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
(4b49) AM I SELF-AWARE? — The first step in my journey was realizing I was unhappy. This realization — detecting it, understanding it, believing it, surrendering to it, and finally owning it — was the first piece of bedrock on which I started building.
(4b50) TRANQUILLITY — “Be not disturbed at trifles, or at accidents common or unavoidable.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
(4b51) PRACTICE DOING NOTHING, EXQUISITELY — “No need to plan, no need to read, no need to watch something, no need to do a chore or eat while you do nothing. You will start to notice your brain’s habit of wanting to get something done. This exposes our mental habits, which is a good thing. Keep doing nothing. Sit for awhile, resisting the urge to do something. After some practice, you can get good at doing nothing, and this leads to the mental habit of contentment and gratitude.” ~ Leo Babauta
(4b52) CHASTITY — “Rarely use venery but for health or offspring, never to dullness, weakness, or the injury of your own or another’s peace or reputation.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
(4b53) WHAT IS MY TALK-TO-LISTEN RATIO? — It’s better to listen to understand, rather than to, (for example,) listen to refute. Silence is fine provided one’s own thoughts are pleasant company. When speaking, think first about why you are about to say whatever it is you’re about to say.
(4b54) WE CREATE OUR OWN STRUGGLES — “All the stress, all the frustrations and disappointments, all the busyness and rushing … we create these with attachments in our heads. By letting go, we can relax and live more simply.” ~ Leo Babauta
(4b55) HUMILITY — Imitate Socrates.
(4b56) FESTINA LENTE — Make haste, slowly. Or, unrestrained moderation. — “The worker must be stronger than his project; loads larger than the bearer must necessarily crush him. Certain careers, moreover, are not so demanding in themselves as they are prolific in begetting a mass of other activities. Enterprises which give rise to new and multifarious activities should be avoided; you must not commit yourself to a task from which there is no free egress. Put your hand to one you can finish or at least hope to finish; leave alone those that expand as you work at them and do not stop where you intended they should.” ~ Seneca, On Tranquility
(4b57) LOOK BACK — Look back at some of the things you’ve accomplished or experienced and think… — “Well if that isn’t nice, I don’t know what is.” ~ Kurt Vonnegut — “One never notices what has been done; One can only see what remains to be done.” ~ Marie Curie
(4b58) MIND YOUR OWN — “Not to support this side or that in chariot-racing, this fighter or that in the games. To put up with discomfort and not make demands. To do my own work, mind my own business, and have no time for slanderers.” ~ Marcus Aurelius, med 1.5
(4b59) HOW TO ACT — “Never under compulsion, out of selfishness, without forethought, with misgivings. Don’t gussy up your thoughts. No surplus words or unnecessary actions. Let the spirit in you represent a man, an adult, a citizen, a Roman, a ruler. Taking up his post like a soldier and patiently awaiting his recall from life. Needing no oath or witness. Cheerfulness. Without requiring other people’s help. Or serenity supplied by others. To stand up straight—not straightened.” ~ Marcus Aurelius, med 3.5
(4b60) PERSPECTIVE — “Be willing to be a child and be the Lilliputian in the world of Gulliver, the bat-girl in Yankee Stadium. That’s a more fruitful way to be.” ~ Mary Karr
(4b61) MEMENTO MORI — “Not to live as if you had endless years ahead of you. Death overshadows you. While you’re alive and able—be good.” ~ Marcus Aurelius, med 4.17
(4b62) EMBRACE THE OBSTACLES — “External things are not the problem. It’s your assessment of them. Which you can erase right now. If the problem is something in your own character, who’s stopping you from setting your mind straight? And if it’s that you’re not doing something you think you should be, why not just do it? —But there are insuperable obstacles. Then it’s not a problem. The cause of your inaction lies outside you. —But how can I go on living with that undone? Then depart, with a good conscience, as if you’d done it, embracing the obstacles too.” ~ Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 8.47
When we have a bit of time to relax, we tend to spend time on activities that provide us with a quick dopamine hit. This is especially the case when we spend our downtime in the digital world. The key to relaxation is to invest in strategies that make your mind less stimulated. Usually this means spending more time in the analog world.
That analog world can be outside moving or inside doing some yoga, sipping coffee, reading, or spending time with people physically present. The more time I can spend in the analog world, the better my life is.
I have a lot of hard-learned knowledge around what works for me in the morning, and I urge you to experiment to find out what works for you. For years I’ve been using the word “surfacing” to refer to that moment when I transition from simply being myself, to engaging with the world through technology. Surfacing is a submarine reference; Like a submarine, at some point each morning—sometimes after Noon—I sneak up to periscope depth and without making a ripple on the surface I peek to see what in the world might be close at hand. I know that once I break the surface, my life that day changes. One moment, I’m out of sight being self-directed (not necessarily selfish, but rather directing myself) and the next moment there’s an endless world vying for my attention.
My point is not that there’s something wrong with the world. (There is, but that’s not my point.) My point is that the world is simply present. It is ever-present. It’s not the world’s responsibility to not bother me. It is my responsibility to choose. I must choose when to engage and when to be the void. I must choose how to be present for those to whom I am beholden, and I must choose to not waste my energies on everything else. Because there is literally an infinite amount of everything else and chasing that is a fool’s errand.
Joe Pellerito reflects on the balance between passion projects and family life, sharing insights from his podcasting journey.
I’m going into topics I’m personally passionate about and I also see it as almost a gift for the guest. So whatever that guest is passionate about, what I’ve noticed is they say, “Joe thank you so much. That’s always going to be out there on the internet. My grandkids can hear it someday.”
~ Joe Pellerito (5:38)
Craig and Joe discuss the challenges and rewards of podcasting, focusing on the feedback they receive from listeners and guests. Joe shares his initial fixation on numbers and how he has since shifted his mindset to focus more on the value of each conversation. He emphasizes that even polarizing topics, like atheism, can spark meaningful discussions, and some episodes resonate with people in unexpected ways. Joe values the personal feedback he receives, especially when listeners share how his episodes helped them feel less alone in their experiences.
They also explore the impact podcasting has on their personal lives, particularly the balance between creative work and family time. Joe reflects on how his podcasting schedule has changed over time, reducing the number of episodes to prioritize his family, especially as his son approaches the end of high school. He talks about the support he receives from his family, like his wife helping to host guests when they come to their home, and the importance of making time for both podcasting and family moments.
Takeaways
The importance of prioritizing meaningful conversations — Creating episodes that focus on topics the host and guest are passionate about can lead to fulfilling exchanges, regardless of audience size.
Shifting focus away from numbers — It’s easy to get caught up in listener metrics, but the value of podcasting lies in the quality of the conversations, not the statistics.
Handling polarizing topics — Discussing divisive issues, such as religion or politics, may cause some listeners to disengage, but these episodes can also inspire others to connect more deeply.
Feedback from listeners — Direct feedback, especially when it challenges or praises specific aspects of the show, helps shape the direction and focus of future episodes.
Balancing podcasting and personal life — Managing a creative project like podcasting alongside family responsibilities requires careful attention, and taking breaks is sometimes necessary to maintain balance.
Support from family — Involving family members in the process, whether through hosting or technical contributions, can create a sense of shared purpose and lighten the load.
The role of podcasting as a platform — Podcasting provides a lasting platform for guests, allowing their stories and messages to be preserved online, which can be meaningful for them and their families.
The creative nature of podcasting — Even though podcasting is intangible compared to other creative forms, it offers a unique outlet for expression that requires both technical and artistic effort.
Resources
Rechoice Podcast — A podcast where guests discuss pivotal moments in their lives, typically involving a “RE” word (e.g., reaffirm, return).
SurveyMonkey — An online platform used for creating and distributing surveys, mentioned in the context of gathering feedback from listeners.
Movers Mindset — Another podcast mentioned in passing, focused on deep conversations around human movement, personal development, and growth.