Craig Constantine

Urgency

December 14, 2021

As always, I continue my project of self-improvement. I’ve long been aware that I take on too much— and yet, all efforts to “take on less” only seem to lessen the problem; Like pulling Dandelion weeds but not getting the entire root out. I’ve made an insane effort in countless ways over several decades to make progress towards “take on less.” I’ve long known there must be something underlying.

I love to use a tool I refer to as a “wedge”, to affect changes by altering the normal sequence of things. A wedge can be used to create a space for consideration, to divert my thinking, or to initiate (or change) an activity. It works because the presence of the wedge alters the mental context. My mind proceeds from idea to idea, with an evolving context for that thinking. As the context changes, it constrains—or maybe, “helps select” is a better description—what ideas are going to come to the fore of my mind next. Trains of thought develop this way. The inserted wedge causes, (if it’s done right,) enough of a shift in my mental context.

It’s really difficult to have the wedge be a thought. But orange sticky notes work well. (Until you no longer notice them, of course.)

The action of this wedge is to make me think about why I’m about to do this next thing that feels so urgent.

“Is it really [urgent]?”
…like, how a smoke detector sounding off is urgent? Okay, so it’s not that urgent.

“Where does that feeling [of urgency] arise?”

And that is where my train of thought shifts. (So far it has been every time I’ve felt urgency to do something.) Because the feeling comes from my desire for control; There are countless examples. That explains why I’m forever taking on too much.

“Sit with that?”
Sit with that realization that the urgency is a reaction to a desire for control. Sit with the knowledge that every attempt at control—all types, all sizes, all shapes, all degrees… attempted control of anything external—has never ended well for me.

That’s not hyperbole.

Paralysis

December 7, 2021

I’ve been up for more than two hours today. I’m completely paralyzed by too many things to do. At this point—this point right here where I’ve opened the text box to write a blog post—I’m simply flailing. Simply grasping at any action.

Where’s the actual problem though? The paralysis isn’t from external pressures; it isn’t that I cannot figure out how to get things done in time, or on budget, to meet other’s expectations. All the expectations come from myself. This is a theme which has come up previously here multiple times.

Luke 4:23 springs to mind. What would I suggest if someone came to me with these exact symptoms, and asked me for help? I’d suggest visualizing what would success look like.

“It would be not this feeling!”

Yes, okay. Can you describe the current feeling?

“It’s a frenetic, cacophony of ideas and options, making me feel like progress—progress is clearly possible upon each idea and option, but progress upon any idea or option feels pointless.”

I notice you said, ‘feels pointless’, … why use ‘feels’ rather than ‘is’?

“Because I know that I could easily finish, at an awesome level of execution, any one of these things. So just picking one of them, arbitrarily, for discussion, progress on that one would move it towards completion.”

Are you saying that working on any of one of them— when you focus on that line of action alone— that actually feels like a good idea?

“Well, yes.”

If considering one feels okay, but considering all of them makes working on them feel not okay…

“But how do I choose? How do I be sure that I can finish all of them— all of these projects?”

You are aware that you cannot be certain to finish anything. This last thing you’ve said is a fact of life, because of the dichotomy of control. If you’ve only chosen to work on virtuous things— let’s take that as a given— then all these things you’re struggling to pick among… they’re all nothing more than preferred indifferents. Pick one, since they are all equally awesome. Chop wood. Carry water.

A little less arrogant

October 22, 2021

The point here is that I think this is one part of what teaching me how to think is really supposed to mean. To be just a little less arrogant. To have just a little critical awareness about myself and my certainties. Because a huge percentage of the stuff that I tend to be automatically certain of is, it turns out, totally wrong and deluded.
~ David Foster Wallace

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Merlin Mann

October 2, 2021

Some time around 2005—if memory serves, which it probably doesn’t—I discovered the work and blogging of Merlin Mann. Back then, he was neck-deep in a project called 43 Folders: Time, Attention, and Creative Work. It’s self-described as, “[a] website about finding the time and attention to do your best creative work.” The first post there is dated 2004, and the last is gloriously frozen in place from 2011.

There are so many things to mention about that project. Ahhhhhhh, the halcyon days when we all thought “website” was a cool word. (I’m now in the “web site” encampment.) Mann is the guy who, for better [my opinion] or worse [many others’ option], brought “inbox zero” to everyone’s awareness. He also spent years experimenting with processes, and I went on a magical, multi-year journey experimenting with something called the “hipster PDA.” If forced to choose, I’d say Mann is the guy who most greatly influenced my process thinking.

There’s a phrase in cooking, mise en place, meaning to have everything in its proper place before starting. (The classic example of failure in this regard is to be half-way through making something only to realize you’re missing an ingredient and having to throw away the food.)

Well Mann is the guy who—in my opinion—has done the most to improve processes for knowledge workers and creative people. I’m not sure if he’s ever said it explicitly, but a huge part of what he did was to elevate knowledge workers and creatives by cultivating a mise en place mindset.

Fan-boy mode, on

September 22, 2021

Neither our economy nor the demands of a life well-lived dictate that everyone should aspire to be sitting alone at a desk in rural Narashino, crafting literature to the light of the rising sun. My growing concern, however, is that such real commitment to thought has become too rare.
~ Cal Newport from, https://www.calnewport.com/blog/2021/06/16/haruki-murakami-and-the-scarcity-of-serious-thought/

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I’ve read every post on Newport’s blog. I have both Deep Work and So Good They Can’t Ignore You, and Digital Minimalism is in my “priority” subset of my wishlist of books. (Yes, I am aware that I have problems.) But I’ll out myself: I’ve not read either of the two Newport books that I already have, and see no point brining the third into the mix until I do. But whining about my privileged-problem of having too many books, isn’t my theme here. Rather, I want to think about why is it “that such real commitment to thought has become too rare.” Because I totally agree that such is so.

(That’s all. I’m thinking about it, and now so are you.)

Helpful

September 21, 2021

I often wish that I could just post a link with my scratch notes; if I did, this post would have been up two hours ago. But you come here to read full sentences, so it is the least I can provide. However, it is not that simple: while I am certainly not famous, I am lucky to have an audience. It is important for me to remember that I cannot write solely for myself, since other people might read it. No matter whether it is a longer article or just a quick link, I don’t want to further the spread of something that I believe to be false or unhelpful.
~ Nick Heer from, https://pxlnv.com/linklog/digital-garden/

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For me, the purpose of writing for my blog is to help me clarify my thinking; It’s a big part of my ongoing process of reflection. That said, I’m well aware that others are reading, and whenever possible I would like what I write to also be helpful to my readers. At the very least, I’d like it to not be unhelpful.

I’m pragmatic. I’ve had that hurled at me as a criticism on more than one occasion. But—hey, pragmatism—it’s important to understand why someone is being pragmatic. I’m pragmatic because I want to be understood, and I want to understand others. That’s as opposed to being pragmatic as a defensive maneuver. To be fair—look, more pragmatism—I enjoy deploying pragmatism for humor, but I’d like to think it’s self-evident when I do so.

Take for example the common adage, “You get what you pay for.” It’s understood that it’s not literally true in all cases; one can get swindled by an unscrupulous seller, but that’s not the point of the adage. The point, obviously, is that if you’re a cheap-skate and try to save too much, you end up getting crap. The pragmatist in me loves to point out that we can fix that adage so that it is literally true always, and makes clear the point. A more convoluted grammar serves better, “You don’t get what you don’t pay for.”

That’s my go-to explanation for pragmatism. Which of those versions is better? The first has simplicity and clarity, but it buries the lead and requires actual thought to get at the kernel of wisdom. The second puts the wisdom on the surface; but it’s a convoluted double-negative that makes one sound like a grammarian.

…at which point whomever I’m discussing pragmatism with is starting into the deep end of the thinking pool, and I point out: Bingo. The specific answer in this discussion doesn’t matter. You’ve now been, at least briefly in this dicussion, a pragmatist. Don’t we now understand each other better?

The hive mind

August 25, 2021

Few working scientists can give a ground-up explanation of the phenomenon they study; they rely on information and techniques borrowed from other scientists. Knowledge and the virtues of the scientific orientation live far more in the community than the individual. When we talk of a “scientific community,” we are pointing to something critical: that advanced science is a social enterprise, characterized by an intricate division of cognitive labor. Individual scientists, no less than the quacks, can be famously bull-headed, overly enamored of pet theories, dismissive of new evidence, and heedless of their fallibility. (Hence Max Planck’s observation that science advances one funeral at a time.) But as a community endeavor, it is beautifully self-correcting.

Beautifully organized, however, it is not. Seen up close, the scientific community—with its muddled peer-review process, badly written journal articles, subtly contemptuous letters to the editor, overtly contemptuous subreddit threads, and pompous pronouncements of the academy— looks like a rickety vehicle for getting to truth. Yet the hive mind swarms ever forward. It now advances knowledge in almost every realm of existence—even the humanities, where neuroscience and computerization are shaping understanding of everything from free will to how art and literature have evolved over time.
~ Atul Gawande from, https://fs.blog/2016/06/atul-gawande-mistrust-science/

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I can’t add to that. I only wanted to be sure that others see it too.

Meanwhile, I never bothered to read Gawande’s hit book, The Checklist Manifesto. (To be candid, bordering on obnoxious: Time is limited, and I don’t need to seek more information about processes. I’ve got that sorted.) But it has hovered in my awareness none the less. Recently, two unrelated sources gave over-the-top praise for Gawande’s newer book, Being Mortal. On those recommendations alone it’s now in my reading queue. I’ve cracked it open, and done the preliminary reading… Have you read it? Do you have any thoughts on it?

Be the hornet?

March 18, 2021

Is it better to be the fly on the wall, or the hornet in the room?

I variously categorize conversations on a spectrum from formal to casual. Today I want to talk about conversations that fall in the middle. At the formal end would be police interrogations and then—perhaps—live, antagonistic interviews of politicians. At the casual end would be pillow-talk and long-term friends around a campfire with their preferred beverages. In the middle is fertile ground for great conversations.

So what exactly is in the middle? Therein lie conversations built on a shared intention: Two people who want to resolve a difference, who want to co-create something new from their individual experiences, or who are simply excited about taking a leap into the unknown experience that is a good conversation. It’s that third one which really calls to me these days.

The leap

I’ve now done enough recorded conversations to say two things:

I used to think I was doing interviews. In fact, I began using a process and format intentionally meant to create interviews; I showed up with things I was interested in and I wanted to learn more about from my partner. I soon discovered that when we veered away from the formal-end of the conversation spectrum, (away from the “interview” I had intended to create,) into the more middle-area of simply good conversation, that was when I most enjoyed the experience. My conversation partners clearly enjoyed it more, and the listeners did too. (“hmmmmm… maybe I am onto something here?” #seecraiglearn )

The first thing I have to say is that the form of the created artifact follows from the process.

If I use a process intended to create formal conversations, that’s what I’ll get, (more or less.) If I use a process intended to create more casual conversations, then I get that, (more or less.) The insight is that the process for creating casual conversation is not itself casual. The process is specific, rigorous, and frankly exhausting. It’s exhausting because I want to execute the process in order to create the best possible conversation, and I want to experience that conversation. That’s in contrast to my conversation partner who is only attempting to do the latter because they’re only aware of their desire to experience the conversation. They’re not aware of the process, and they probably shouldn’t be aware.

Each conversation—each performance, since I’m today talking about when we are recording—is better if we’re comfortable going just a bit farther than we might normally. This is where the process pays off. Everything I’ve done in preparation, and everything I do during the conversation, from the obvious to the subtle to the outright manipulative, is in service of creating the best space for that conversation.

The second thing I have to say is that to create good, casual conversations I have to help my partner leap.

Be the hornet?

I recently listened to Jesse Thorn’s interview of Werner Herzog for The Turnaround. If you’ve read this far, I can’t imagine you wouldn’t enjoy listening to that ~35 minutes of Thorn and Herzog.

In the conversations that I’m currently interested in creating and recording I simply cannot be the fly on the wall. I have to literally sit down with my conversation partner. But there’s an enormous range of engagement that I can vary. (More realistically I can only try to control this, as I’m always balancing the observer-process and the participant-creation experiences.) In my first recorded conversations there quickly became far too much of me performing, (and I’ll leave it at that for today.) Then followed me reigning myself in too far, then some relaxing back towards more of me, and currently I find that I like the amount of me that appears in the conversations.

After listening to Herzog’s thoughts on documentary film-making, (but he talks about a lot more than that in the podcast,) I now see that I need to work on being the active hornet in the room. This is the dimension where I actively lead the conversation—not upstage my partner, but actively lead in the way that two intimate dance partners have a leader, (and, yes, who is leading can change at any moment.)

I need to more often be the hornet. I need to more often suggest simply by my presence that a sting might be imminent. Then if they decline to leap, maybe, sting just a little.

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Our journey of small steps

March 2, 2021

Meditation is intermittent fasting for the mind. Too much sugar leads to a heavy body, and too many distractions lead to a heavy mind. Time spent undistracted and alone, in self-examination, journaling, meditation, resolves the unresolved and takes us from mentally fat to fit.
~ Naval Ravikant

Today’s message is not really a prompt like the previous 60. Alas, we’ve reached the terminus of our journey of small steps practicing reflection.

Thank you for being awesome!

I created this series by taking my personal collection of self-reflection prompts and forming them into these blog posts. Next, I wrote the three getting-started posts to ease you into the daily routine. Finally, I came up with a theme for each of the 8 weeks and wrote short additions that appeared below the main sequence of prompts. These additions carry the through-line of teaching self-reflection. (…or at least, I hope they did.)

Here are all the additional parts in one place:

Creating space

Remember: 2 minutes. Pause life. Read. Think. Resume life.

Many of the prompts I’m sharing have been chosen from the generous gifts given me by others. When I’m explicitly quoting, they are attributed (as above.)

2 minutes: Pause life. Read. Think. Resume life.

Perhaps you’ve already begun to look forward to your two minutes of reflection?

2 minutes: Pause life. Read. Think. Resume life.

Have you considered adding some physical ritual to your reflection? Perhaps taking three deep, slow breaths before the reading, or … If you decide to try something, don’t go crazy; just something very small and easy. Or not. That’s fine too.

2 minutes: Pause life. Read. Think. Resume life.

Habit

Everything you do is initiated by triggers. “X” happens to me, so then I do “Y.” Creating a new habit is difficult because we don’t realize we need to attach it to a trigger.

Trigger. New habit.

You’re using the arrival of this email as your trigger. Do you recall that I mentioned on day one that I was introducing you to being reflective upon being prompted?

Trigger. New habit.

Today’s a good day to look closely at the trigger you’re experiencing. There are always ways you can change a trigger. Tinker—if not for real, then at least as a thought experiment—with changing the daily trigger for this journey.

Trigger. New habit.

One day, these triggers from me will end. To what trigger under your control could you attach this nascent habit of self-reflection?

Reflection

Reflection is about self-focus. Each day you’re practicing holding up a mirror. Specifically, you’re observing your thoughts, in response to a prompt.

It’s not necessary to move beyond simply observing our thoughts. Simply practicing _observing_ your thoughts will make you more aware of your thoughts.

Our practice of reflection is an explicitly inward-facing activity. We’re repeatedly, intentionally being aware.

Reflection. Inward-facing. Intentional awareness of our own thoughts.

A good mirror shows an accurate image. A fun-house mirror shows a distorted image. How is your reflection on your own thoughts?

Having now spent at least 46 minutes in self-reflection and practicing awareness of your own thoughts— …any change in daily lived life? …any change in your relationships? No right answers, simply awareness.

Are you surprised by your thoughts’, and your mind’s, complexity? Are you amazed? Are you empowered?

Awareness

We’ve been developing our awareness via self-reflection. What happens if we turn our awareness outward?

Were there any moments yesterday when you suddenly—it can be quite jarring the first few times—became aware that you were _aware_ of your own thoughts?

You are using a trigger to practice reflection. Is there anything in your day that resembles the reflection trigger? Opportunities where you could reflect spontaneously?

We’re about halfway. Poke your head out of your private journey of practicing reflection and quietly take some guesses about how reflective are the people around you. No judging; recall day one’s message about self-improvement not being zero-sum.

If you encountered even one moment yesterday where you realized someone else could be more reflective: Visualize that moment you experienced… and imagine slowly raising a hand mirror into that perspective—so you see your own reflection appear on top of that person.

Are there moments in your day when you realize you are aware that you are observing something outside yourself? If so— If you are aware you are observing, can you use that as a trigger to look inward and reflect on your own thinking?

Awareness of our inward experience, and our outward experience, is the same. It’s the same awareness. These past few days, we’ve taken our awareness on a brief field trip outside ourselves. For the rest of our little journey here, we’ll remain looking inward.

Journaling

How good is your memory? What’s the first food you had after waking eleven days ago? Perhaps, your memory isn’t _that_ good. How about something you are currently interested in: 11 days ago, did you have any insights from your morning reflection?

Everything about this journey is, of course, optional. But I want you to find paper and pencil/pen. Don’t over-think that, and don’t try to use something digital. Grab any paper and any pen, and have them handy for tomorrow’s reflection.

Remember that paper? Write the first thought that comes to mind, when I say, write the first thought that comes to mind. You’re done.

Today, write the first and second thought. It really, truly, does not matter what the thoughts are. Please try writing them down. Put the paper away until tomorrow.

I’m not even asking that look back at what you’ve written. Simply write a couple thoughts, (or more than a couple, if you wish.)

And write _several_ thoughts down today…

Now look back through your week of notes. Maybe write a few notes about your observations of your notes? Maybe, you want to look more into journaling? (Today is the last time I’ll mention journaling in our journey, but I highly recommend continuing.)

Simply being

You’ve put a lot of effort so far into practicing reflection. It’s important that we don’t lose the trees for the forest. The focus of daily reflection is the _tree_; the forest will take care of itself.

One can bring self-judgement into reflection practice, but it is not necessary. Simply practicing being aware will pay dividends. I’m recommending you do the reflection without the judgement.

A human being. Not a human doing.

My martial arts teacher, Sensei Wirth, turned the phrase: No this. No that. No delay.

Many arts teach the lesson of simply being. Zen, for example provide koans: “What is the sound of one hand clapping?”

Different styles of Yoga teach variosly about sound, light, and breathing.

The sublime experiences of life can be found anywhere. I’m hoping you find it within this small space you’ve created for reflection.

Make it yours

My intention for this series is to bootstrap your practice of reflection. For me to have suceeded, you must end up being self-sustaining in your practice.

The skeleton of this journey is the 57 prompts which appear at the top of each of these posts. I wasn’t born with those. What will be your prompt, or prompts?

How are you going to continue to trigger yourself to do your morning reflection?

I like to read, and daily-study/daily-devotional books is an entire Genre. But there are also web sites, software, flip cards, … what calls to you?

The best choice for medium and method—for prompts, for journaling, for reflection—is whatever reliably triggers you to reflect. Make it yours; change it whenever you wish.

Do you recall the beginning of this journey? While I created the prompts and the system which you are now enjoying, how will you continue it yourself?

It’s time for the student to become the teacher. What prompts and triggers are you going to create for yourself as you go through your life being your own teacher?

Recap

We’re in our final week together. The first week was about creating space. 2 minutes: Pause life. Read. Think. Resume life.

Our second week was focused on creating a new habit. Do you have your new habit attached to a trigger?

Week three was about the practice itself of reflection; becoming aware explicitly that we are— well, practicing being aware.

Awareness occupied our practice during our fourth week. Inward. Outward. Simply being aware is awesome.

In week five we tried the tiniest taste of capturing our thoughts. Reflection is a power tool for self-improvement. Journaling—and there are many kinds—is another.

Simply being is easy to understand but difficult to embody. In week six I tried to point at the moon, while hoping my pointing finger didn’t draw your attention instead.

Last week we began looking beyond this small, introductory journey and talking about ways you could continue on your own.

Digestif

When will the rhetorical questions end?

As a PDF — You can download Practicing Reflection as a single e-book.

Practicing-Reflection Download

Reflection: Day 55

February 24, 2021

CHASTITY — “Rarely use venery but for health or offspring, never to dullness, weakness, or the injury of your own or another’s peace or reputation.” ~ Benjamin Franklin

Week three was about the practice itself of reflection; becoming aware explicitly that we are— well, practicing being aware.