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Meditation

April 1, 2018

People who haven’t tried to meditate have very little sense that their minds are noisy at all. And when you tell them that they’re thinking every second of the day, it generally doesn’t mean anything to them. It certainly doesn’t strike most of them as pathological. When these people try to meditate, they have one of two reactions: Some are so restless and besieged by doubts that they can hardly attempt the exercise. “What am I doing sitting here with my eyes closed? What is the point of paying attention to the breath?” And, strangely, their resistance isn’t remotely interesting to them. They come away, after only a few minutes, thinking that the act of paying close attention to their experience is pointless.

~ Sam Harris from, https://samharris.org/taming-the-mind/

I don’t consider myself “very good” at meditating. Beginning in ’98, through 15 years of Aikido practice and beyond, I have spent “some” time sitting in seiza, meditating and breathing. It was only after many years that I realized how wonderful the sitting, meditation, and breathing was for me personally.

There’re approximately 10 gazillion intros and primers on meditation and breathing on the Internet, so I’m not even going to give a hand-waving explanation. I’ll just say: Yes! Do! You can mail me a Thank-you card later!

…and I suppose also: If we meet in person, strike up a conversation and I’d love to talk shop.

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If you must

August 29, 2017

Never lie, steal, cheat, or drink. But if you must lie, lie in the arms of the one you love. If you must steal, steal away from bad company. If you must cheat, cheat death. And if you must drink, drink in the moments that take your breath away

~ Will Smith

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§9 – Commit to the move

May 6, 2017

(Part 21 of 37 in series, Study inspired by Pakour & Art du Déplacement by V. Thibault)

No this. No that. No delay.

~ Sensei Wirth

If you want to go east, go east. If you want to go west, go west.

~ Koichi Tohei Sensei

If there’s somewhere you need to be, you need to start walking.

~ uncertain; possibly Lao-Tzu

Each of those quotes expresses a certain commitment to beginning; to taking action; to moving in a direct way. But what really is commitment? I thought I knew what commitment was, until I started to think deeply about it. Now, I’m uncertain.

There are some things to which I am deeply, unshakably, committed; Take breathing for example. At first glance this seems trivial since it’s a physiological imperative managed by the body. But if I imagine a scenario where someone is trying to prevent me from breathing, I can easily imagine myself consciously acting — wildly, vigorously, berserk even — to achieve the goal.

What would it mean to be that committed to something of my own conscious choosing?

What does it mean to “be committed to” a new habit?

Sure! I’m committed! I like this new idea — this new habit. I’m going to really stick to it! I have goals, and a plan. Let’s do this!

…and a month later the habit is nowhere to be seen. Does that failure mean I was actually not committed when I thought I was? Did my commitment evaporate over time? Are there degrees of commitment? Is there some minimum level of commitment necessary at the beginning to achieve certain goals? Does commitment need occasional inputs of energy to keep it going, like a spinning top? Or is commitment a simple binary — yes, or no?

Perhaps understanding commitment would be easier if I tried to untangle a simpler type of commitment. What does it mean to “commit to” a physical action in the very near future?

This jump scares me. But I know I can make it; I’ve definitely jumped this distance successfully many times. I know there’s value in doing this jump. I should do this. I want to do this! Okay, I’m committed! I’m ready! Here I go! abort! ABORT!!

What happened? I thought I was committed? Was I lying to myself when I said, “Okay, I’m committed”? What would it mean if it was possible to lie to myself– to truly believe myself when I was lying? Did my commitment somehow evaporate in the moment just before I aborted? Did my body — my physical corpus separate from my mind — somehow, literally, physically refuse my mind’s directions? Is that even be possible?

Here’s another experiment I’ve performed countless times: I get set up for a jump which pushes my limits. There are some consequences to missing, some real bit of danger is present, but it’s a good jump, something I know I can do. I’ve checked my surfaces, and I’ve explored and thought out everything to look for unknown-unknowns. I’m ready. The thinking-me-brain commits — really commits — we (the me-brain and the body) are ready to do this! And then I notice that my palms are sweating. Wait- What? Who called for sweating palms?!

Therefore I’m forced to wonder: Does my body have a mind of its own? In fact, I believe this is the case. We know the brain — the entire central nervous system — is an amalgam of layers. The thinking me’s consciousness is just the topmost layer, and there are deeper layers, sometimes called the “lizard brain”, performing fully autonomous functions. Performing many autonomous functions.

After all of that thinking and experimenting, I’m starting to believe that commitment is actually easy. The thinking-me-brain is good at committing to something after a bit of reasoned consideration. Committing may be one of its greatest skills, in stark contrast to the body’s short-sighted visceral behaviors.

So what then is hard?

Learning what level of control I am in fact able to exercise over the rest of my body is hard!

My commitment evaporates when my body rebels; When it literally, physically refuses my thinking-me-brain’s commands. My commitment evaporates when unconscious triggers, and reward/feedback loops, guide my actions when the thinking-me-brain isn’t actively paying attention. The teacher leaves the classroom and the students start throwing paper airplanes. “I thought we were committed to reading our studies! …why all this fooling around?!” I thought we were committed to this jump! Why have we not jumped?! Why are our palms sweating and heart racing?!

The more I examine this situation, the more it feels like the thinking-me-brain is a tiny little prisoner who has very little control over almost nothing.

“Commit to the move,” the book says. The tiny, weak, thinking-me-brain would love to practice talking the body into doing things it doesn’t want to do. So let’s — thinking-me and the body — let’s go out and see what we can agree to commit to!

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Nope

July 29, 2016

NOPE

I will not be lazy.

I will not accept what I have now if I know I can do better.

I will not sleep until I finish.

I will not leave until I’m done.

I will not tremble in front of new challenges.

I will not stop until I stop breathing.

I will be whatever I want to be even if it takes sacrifice.

Even if I have little to give.

Even if it takes time.

Even if I have no time at all.

I will succeed.

~ unknown

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Haulin’ the mail

January 27, 2016

(Part 18 of 36 in series, 10,000 Reps Project)

Whatever it is that you think you could NEVER do, figure out how to make a small step in the direction of your goal. Take that first step. Then look back and say, “well, now that I’ve come this far, I may as well go a little farther.”

I hope someone reads this, gets riled up, and thinks: “YEAH! I want to go for a walk!” …or a run, or a 5k, or swing on some bars, or walk a flight of stairs without gasping for breath, or lower my cholesterol, or be alive to play with my grand-kids. Whatever your goal is, GO CRUSH IT!

I remember when doing ONE STINKING PULLUP was inconceivable. Now I’m doing 70 — yes SEVENTY — per workout. The things that used to CRUSH me in class? …that stuff’s now my WARM-UP. Here’s a part of the worksheet that shows what’s going on with the pullups odometer. 3,000 reps is in the past (again, INCONCEIVABLE!) 4,000 is right on the horizon. Every workout through 4,000 is planned. A few more of the workouts are an identical, “all 70’s”, setup. Then, there are three weeks of bumping everything up +5.

In this screenshot, I’ve just completed January 27th/Day #190. The yellow block is the next planned workout; an exact repeat of today. There are more columns for the other activities, but now that all the activities’ numbers are in sync, they’re all the same. The pattern of workouts-to-rests is work-rest-work-rest-rest so that I have a regular, two-day rest over and over. Also, that’s a 5 day pattern so my workouts do not have the same weekdays — that’s really important to keep things from turning into “Monday’s suck” if I had a fixed weekly pattern. The double-rest also gives me a space to pull a workout one-day-earlier if I need to rearrange things, without making it into a killer two-days-in-a-row. (The things you think of when you do this for six months. D8 )

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If anyone wants the details: The workouts are a ~45 minute circuit, based around 5 sets. Pushups, squats and bar-precisions are 5×14 (that’s 5 sets of 14 repititions.) The pullups are 5×6 (5 sets of 6 reps) plus 8×5 (8 sets of 5). So I do a set of pushups, squats and bar-pre’s to get really warmed up, then do a set of pullups between each set of everything else:

SET 1
14 pushups
14 squats
14 bar-precisions

SET 2
6 pullups
14 pushups
6 pullups
14 squats
6 pullups
14 bar-pre’s

SET 3
6 pullups
14 pushups
6 pullups
14 squats
5 pullups
14 bar-pre’s

SET 4
5 pullups
14 pushups
5 pullups
14 squats
5 pullups
14 bar-pre’s

SET 5
5 pullups
14 pushups
5 pullups
14 squats
5 pullups
14 bar-pre’s

FINALLY
5 final pullups (but sometimes I just wedge this in somewhere above)
40 second handstand (against wall)
30 second handstand

When I do a +5 bump, I just turn all those “14s” into “15s” and the 5-set layout makes a tidy +5. For pullups I can add a separate set of 5 at the end, or turn 5 5s into 5 6s, whatever — I have to see what I feel like in a few weeks.

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Organ Pipes (aug 29)

April 5, 2015

We picked Organ Pipes to be our last climb on Lumpy Ridge. This was our last day in Estes Park Colorado. We had been camping just inside the Rocky Mountain National Park at the Aspen Glen campground and it was a short drive to the Lumpy Ridge parking area.

As we approached the parking area, the Twin Owls are impossible to miss. They look exactly like two roosting owls. Below them, just in front of them, is a light colored triangle of rock. It actually took us a bit of hiking around to find our climb. But as we drove away, we realized Organ Pipes is tucked in the shadow, just to the left of the big triangle of light-colored rock. When we reached the top of the climb, we were at the base of the Owls.

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Above is the view looking up Organ Pipes — it literally looks like organ pipes. Some of the undulations are easily grabbed by hand, some are large enough for you to stand in, or to work up them like a miniature chimney. It’s about 20 feet wide and runs up about 150 feet. Near the top, the rock changes colors from this dark grey, to a lighter color, and it just happened to change colors where the shadow fell. So there’s a ledge at the top of the grey, where Mike eventually set up a belay station and snapped about 300 photographs.

 

The video above gives you a quick tour of where the climb is situated.

Above is a small selection of the many spectacular photos Mike took. Throughout our trip, he was learning to use his camera and this climb was the culmination of him getting to try everything since the climb was pretty easy, with a short pitch where we could easily see each other and communicate.

 

The vertigo-inducing video above makes the climb seem steeper than it really was. The further we climbed, the steeper it was, but it was “only” vertical at the top — it doesn’t overhang or lean out at all. You can begin to hear that it’s getting windier…

 

This isn’t a “bolted” climb; Meaning there are no bolts in the rocks for easily climbing in fall protection. As Mike climbed first, he placed “protection” into the rocks. As I climbed up second, I had to stop and “clean” all the gear. The video above gives you a glimpse of how you spend a lot of time when you are “the second.” Pausing — hopefully in a spot where I only need one hand to hang on — while carefully disassembling “trad gear”. (“trad” is short for “traditional”.)

Three more shots of me just about to top-out on the first pitch. By this point, Mike and I are only a few feet apart and he’s bored out of his mind from sitting in his harness watching me climb.

 

Above is just a few moves from the very end of the first section of the climb. All the junk over my shoulders, and hanging from my harness is all stuff I’ve “cleaned” along the way. At the belay station, I’ll pass all that stuff back to Mike. If this was a long (that is, “multi[ple] pitch”) climb, he’d start off again, and we’d repeat the climb/clean/pass-gear cycle over and over.

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Above is a beautiful shot of a textbook belay anchor. Mike has four pieces of gear in the crack (the lowest one is pretty well hidden from view.) They’re slung together in a very particular way using a special rope (called a “cordelette”) with a very particular arrangement of knots. At the belay point, the arriving “second” would tie in, and pass his cordelette to the lead climber. (So the lead climber has a cordelette to build the next belay station.)

For this climb, the second pitch is very short. Mike could easily have climbed all the way to the top. But by stopping at the ledge, he had a great view of my climb so he could practice with his camera. This final section of rock pitched up to just the slightest overhang, and was perfectly smooth. Took me at least 15 minutes to climb 10 feet using the crack in the rock and side wall.

At the top, catching my breath at the foot of the owls. From here it was a “walk off” down the angled “roosting ramp” to a foot trail and a stroll back to the van.

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Back at our camp site, we took one last look at Deer Ridge already talking about coming back to have another go at climbing it. We packed up our camp site and headed south, back to Boulder.

Goodbye Estes Park and Lumpy Ridge!

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Michael R. Eades blog

February 1, 2015

(Part 1 of 25 in series, M. Eades' Blog)

What, who?

I recently (2015) discovered Dr. Eades blog. (I had not heard of his books.) His blog contains a wealth of medical science explained in layman’s terms. The first few articles I read convinced me to start at the beginning of his “blog archive” and try to read HIS ENTIRE BLOG. I quickly learned: He has a lot of personal and current events posts which I’m not interested in, and there’s way way too much get through in short order.

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