We only really know what is new, what suddenly introduces to our sensibility a change of tone which strikes us, that for which habit has not yet substituted its pale facsimiles.
~ Marcel Proust
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Author: Craig Constantine
The answer
I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it’s not the answer.
~ Jim Carrey
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Sometimes I weep
What focus means is saying no to something that you, with every bone in your body, you think is a phenomenal idea and you wake up thinking about it, but you say no to it because you’re focusing on something else.
~ Jonny Ive from, The Ultimate Productivity Hack is Focus
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I have a lot of ideas. (Perhaps your experience is similar?) For most of my life I thought all of my ideas where good ones. Sure, there were some insane bicycle accidents and spectacular snow-tubing disasters, but in the minutes following an incident, I still thought it was a good idea. Poorly planned, poorly executed, or both, sure. But life seemed to be an endless parade of good ideas each affording an opportunity to grab life by the choose-your-own-metaphor. In hindsight, I think it was all simply poor—or, if I’m honest, a complete absence of—impulse control.
In recent years it has become apparent my time on Earth is limited. (Perhaps your experience is similar?) These days that stream of ideas continues. What if I installed a motion-activated auto-targeting water sprinkler filled with Capsaicin-laced water to keep the squirrels away? (Yes, really.) …and okay, well, the ideas don’t all seem like good ideas anymore. Fine. I’m cool with having limited time, limited resources, and possibly some added social awareness.
But every once in a while, I have an idea which is blindingly awesome. Even if I have one such idea only once in a while, that still means I have more than I can try, and then I have to choose. I have to choose some, and say no to others.
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Jesse Danger | Embrace Challenge
On Castbox.fm — Jesse Danger | Embrace Challenge
What insights can be gained from using diverse learning models to create thriving environments in physical and social practices?
The conversation explores the transformation of complex teaching philosophies into accessible frameworks.
The mental model is a framework to say that we’re diverse learners, and we want to create spaces where people of all different learning abilities can thrive.
~ Jesse Danger (3:45)
The conversation emphasizes the importance of creating learning environments that accommodate a range of mental, physical, and social dynamics. It explores frameworks that simplify complex teaching philosophies into practical approaches, making concepts more accessible. One key topic is the shift from long, unresolved discussions to concise, impactful interactions, demonstrating how frameworks can bridge gaps in understanding.
Another focus is on how specific mental models allow educators to engage diverse learners effectively. These models divide learning into quadrants based on complexity and directionality, supporting both structured drills and open-ended exploration. Participants reflect on how these strategies foster personal and group growth, ensuring inclusivity and clarity in coaching practices.
Takeaways
Frameworks for teaching — Simplifying complex ideas into models enhances understanding.
Diverse learning styles — Acknowledging varied learner needs creates inclusive environments.
Quadrants of learning — Balancing simplicity, complexity, and directionality enriches education.
Communication challenges — Articulating ideas clearly bridges gaps in understanding.
Empowering participants — Involving learners in model creation increases engagement.
Resources
The Movement Creative — Organization behind the discussed book and learning frameworks.
(Written with help from Chat-GPT.)
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Think more
Read less, study less, but think more. Learn, both from your teachers and from the books which you read, only those things which you really need and which you really want to know.
~ Leo Tolstoy
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Silence kept
For every time you regret that you did not say something, you will regret a hundred times that you did not keep your silence.
~ Leo Tolstoy
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Disenchanted with entertainment
I turned 50 this summer, a natural place to pause and reflect. If I’m lucky, I’m probably halfway through my adult years (I don’t count childhood – think of that as season 1, where we were underfunded and hadn’t found the plot yet). My work is changing some in my day job. Personally, some things have changed, and things that once were dreams are now off the table. So, transitions.
~ Hugh Hollowell, from «https://www.soverybeautiful.org/inertia-is-a-hell-of-a-drug/»
Alas, I think that link has already broken. (But the Internet Archive will have it.) I’ve chosen that quote simply because it’s the first time I’ve seen one’s childhood called “season 1.” That’s a sublime metaphor. Most modern, streaming shows have a horrible first season while the writers try to figure out what they’re even doing; Or they have a horrible second season where the first season was great and instead of having a good ending they’re continuing to worship the cash cow; So, generally horrible overall then.
The real difference between those good shows and bad, is whether or not they do what movies do: Do they plan out the entire thing in advance? Movies can suck and they can morph into something entirely different from the initial vision, but they are a complete thing when seen. Which then suggests one reason why more movies are starting to suck. Their plan is to have the movie be an episode within a huge cinematic universe. *eye-roll*
Good entertainment is a good story told well. Good stories have an ending.
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April 09, 2023 — #27
Reading time: About 5 minutes, 1100 words
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This issue is https://7forsunday.com/27
Acceptance
The results of fully listening are profound and couldn’t be more relevant today in times of immense distractions and a world constantly in a rush: Others feel accepted.
They feel heard. They take their own words more seriously. By thinking out loud, they are discovering their own words and, by that, their own true selves.
~ Klaus Motoki Tonn from, Listening as an Act of Hospitality
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This article touches on a number of different things which are interesting about conversation. I was surprised to realize that despite its having several great quotes from famous authors, this bit from Tonn was the part I kept returning to. It’s just deposited quietly in the middle of the whole thing which made it all the more delightful to discover; if I’d only skimmed I’d surely have missed it.
Let’s be fair: In today’s world, no one actually listens and every thing is intentionally distracting as it clamors for our attention. That makes what should be the “simple” act of listening into something profound. I’ve encountered the effect Tonn’s highlighting many times. The more I listen, the more each guest seems to be on a journey of self-discovery. The more I implicitly promise not to interrupt them, the more confident becomes their self-exploration. And it’s made all the more special by their not expecting it.
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True optimism
[True optimism involves] seeing the world as it is, yet still believing—and more importantly behaving—in ways that create better outcomes for all of us.
~ Karen Reivich
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Revelation with Evelyn Higgins
How can transformative personal experiences and advancements in addiction biology contribute to understanding and addressing addiction as a multifaceted issue?
From hiking across Spain to unraveling the biological roots of addiction, Evelyn Higgins reveals her personal and professional transformations.
You’re going to have three meetings along the way… You’re going to have a meeting with yourself. You’re going to have a meeting with the people that you meet along the way… And then your third meeting is going to be with God. And this was the kicker—he said, right now, you know exactly who you are; when you’re finished, you’ll be somebody completely different.
~ Evelyn Higgins, 5:20
Evelyn Higgins begins by sharing her transformative experience walking the Camino de Santiago, a 32-day journey across Spain that becomes a turning point in her life. Originally expecting to broadcast her radio show from the trail, she instead finds herself immersed in personal reflection, profound conversations with strangers, and spiritual exploration. On day twelve, a pivotal moment occurs when a priest mentions the “three meetings” she will encounter on her journey—with herself, others, and God—forever changing her perspective. This journey, undertaken at a turning point in her life, helps Evelyn gain a deeper understanding of her purpose, shifting how she approaches life and later influences her work.
The conversation shifts to Evelyn’s professional work with Wired For Addiction, where she applies genetic testing to understand and treat addiction and mental health disorders. She discusses the gap in current addiction treatment, which often neglects the biological components in favor of the psychosocial, and how her work seeks to identify 85 biomarkers linked to addiction. Highlighting the revolutionary nature of her research, Evelyn emphasizes the importance of addressing underlying physiological changes resulting from trauma and undiagnosed conditions. She also shares her passion for helping people understand their genetic predispositions to behaviors like addiction, offering a personalized approach to treatment that challenges conventional methods.
Takeaways
The Camino de Santiago experience — A 32-day journey becomes a personal transformation, providing insight into self, spirituality, and human connection.
The concept of the “three meetings” — Encounters with self, others, and God offer profound shifts in perspective and personal growth.
Taking risks to find purpose — Leaving behind daily responsibilities and routines can lead to unexpected discoveries and clarity of life’s path.
The impact of profound experiences on life and work — A significant journey or event can reshape personal views and directly influence professional focus and passions.
Genetic testing for addiction — Modern technology allows for the identification of genetic markers, offering a more personalized approach to addiction and mental health treatment.
The limitations of traditional addiction treatment — Current methods often overlook the biological aspects of addiction, focusing primarily on psychosocial factors.
The biological component of addiction — Acknowledgment that underlying genetic predispositions and physiological changes are crucial to understanding and addressing addiction effectively.
Trauma and undiagnosed conditions — Life experiences and unaddressed mental or physical health issues alter physiology and play a significant role in addictive behaviors.
The stigma around addiction — Outdated perceptions persist, viewing addiction as a moral flaw rather than a disease with biological underpinnings.
Multifaceted identities — Professionals can have multiple aspects of their identity that may not always be immediately visible or understood by others.
Personalized health strategies — Knowing one’s unique genetic predispositions can help inform better decisions regarding substance use and mental health management.
Importance of holistic understanding — Addressing physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual health is key to personal well-being and recovery.
Sharing and connection on life journeys — Conversations and deep exchanges with strangers on a shared journey can lead to mutual understanding and personal breakthroughs.
Reevaluating life’s direction — Milestones and transformative experiences can act as catalysts for reassessing one’s life purpose and future goals.
Resources
Wired For Addiction — A resource offering genetic testing to identify biomarkers related to addiction, substance abuse, and mental health disorders. Their goal is to address the biological components of addiction and provide personalized treatment options.
The Camino de Santiago — A renowned pilgrimage across Spain, traditionally beginning in France, offering a transformative walking experience for many travelers.
TEDx Talk by Evelyn Higgins — A talk that provides context for the creation of Wired For Addiction, discussing both the professional and personal motivations behind this work in addiction treatment. The talk can be viewed on the TEDx YouTube channel or via a search for Evelyn Higgins’ TEDx talk.
The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho — A popular book that inspires many to pursue their personal journeys and quests, including the Camino de Santiago.
The Pyrenees Mountains — The mountain range that forms a natural border between France and Spain, marking the challenging start of the Camino de Santiago for many pilgrims.
(Written with help from Chat-GPT.)
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Tasks, broken
Just like with a real egg, you only have to damage the task’s exterior a little bit in order to transform it, to make it ready for step two, and it doesn’t particularly matter where on its surface you do that. As soon as the egg is cracked, it becomes a different object — one that tells you what to do with it.
~ David Cain from, How to Get Started When You Just Can’t Get Started
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Usually, I begin a task by envisioning what “done” looks like. It’s critical that I sit with that vision of done and be certain I want it in my life. I cannot do the majority of things I imagine tackling. Too often, my vision of done actually has me in a worse place: Becoming the sad maintainer of some complicated system is a common side effect of my imaginings.
If I’m buying into the vision though, there’s nothing like feeling you’ve taken a big bite out of the task. When working with others, I used to spend too much effort selling the vision. Which then leads to a lot of explanation of how we’ll get there. It turns out that if I’m supposed to be helping (or *gasp* leading) it’s better to get everyone involved doing. Doing something. Anything. Suddenly, it’s all hands on deck and we’re making light work out of the task. It’s much easier to course correct once we’re moving.
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Elizabeth Cunningham | Self-Advocacy
On Castbox.fm — Elizabeth Cunningham | Self-Advocacy
What role does self-advocacy play in creating authentic and fulfilling relationships?
Self-advocacy is redefined as a cornerstone for personal and relational growth.
In advocating for your needs, you’re actually leading the way for the people that you serve to advocate for their needs.
~ Elizabeth Cunningham (4:15)
The conversation explores the concept of self-advocacy as a foundation for personal development and authentic relationships. It begins with reflections on the openness of participants at the Art of Retreat and transitions into how self-advocacy is an overlooked cornerstone in personal and professional life. Elizabeth emphasizes that advocating for one’s own needs fosters not only personal growth but also serves as an example for others, countering the misconception that self-advocacy is selfish.
Another focal point is the journey toward self-awareness and identifying areas where needs are unmet. This includes helping individuals recognize patterns of self-sacrifice and enabling them to understand the importance of prioritizing their own well-being. Elizabeth highlights the challenge of meeting people where they are without pushing solutions onto them, stressing the importance of cultivating genuine curiosity and allowing others to arrive at their realizations.
Takeaways
Self-advocacy — A foundational principle for personal and relational growth.
Self-awareness — Begins by identifying where personal needs are unmet or ignored.
Community dynamics — Movement and service-based communities often prioritize others at their own expense.
Leadership in needs — Advocating for personal needs models the behavior for others.
Coaching strategies — Effective coaching meets people where they are and avoids imposing solutions.
Cultural openness — Environments like retreats foster unique receptivity to self-growth ideas.
Intersection of service and self-care — Balancing helping others with self-prioritization creates a sustainable cycle of compassion.
Resources
Elizabeth Cunningham’s Linktree — Provides access to her all of her coaching services and work.
(Written with help from Chat-GPT)
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Social media
We cannot make social media good, because it is fundamentally bad… all we can do is hope that it withers away, and play our small part in helping abandon it.
~ Ian Bogost
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Open with Tom Huntington
What are the key principles and ideas behind the “Open and Curious” project, and how do they apply to fostering meaningful conversations and personal growth?
Explore how curiosity, complexity, and personal growth intersect in the journey of crafting conversations and podcasts.
But a lot of us get this memo—who didn’t get it early in life—begin to get it in middle age. I’ve never had this thought before, but the middle age thing… what [our culture calls] the midlife crisis. Well the midlife crisis is really getting […] I’m not supposed to keep trying to be perfect.
~ Tom Huntington (5:11)
Craig and Tom engage in a thoughtful conversation about curiosity, control, and personal growth, touching on how these ideas intersect with podcasting and everyday life. Tom expresses his excitement about Craig’s project, Open and Curious, seeing it as a principle of life and an approach to understanding healthy human nature. They discuss the tension between trying to control outcomes, especially in conversations and creative work, and allowing curiosity to guide the process. Craig reflects on how developing curiosity can help podcasters move conversations in meaningful directions without forcing control, while Tom emphasizes the importance of being open without slipping into chaos.
Another theme is the challenge of balance in life and learning. Tom shares his personal experience of trying to manage too many ideas, leading to a feeling of being out of balance, and describes the importance of self-awareness in recognizing the problem as internal rather than external. They also touch on midlife revelations, where people begin questioning the pursuit of perfection and the pressures of society. Tom’s reflections on mental health and how openness affects both individual growth and relationships add depth to the discussion, bringing in insights from neuroscience and attachment theory.
Takeaways
The power of curiosity — developing curiosity can guide conversations and lead to meaningful outcomes without needing control.
The balance between openness and chaos — being too open can lead to chaos, while too much rigidity can stifle growth and learning.
The challenge of midlife revelations — midlife often brings a realization that the pursuit of perfection is futile, prompting a shift in perspective.
Learning from self-awareness — recognizing that certain recurring problems are internal, rather than blaming external factors, is key to personal growth.
Curiosity in podcasting — allowing curiosity to shape the direction of conversations can lead to natural, engaging dialogues, especially in creative projects.
The role of self-compassion — focusing on what was done well, rather than dwelling on past mistakes, fosters a healthier mindset.
Managing too many ideas — having too many ideas can lead to overwhelm, and it’s important to prioritize and recognize when to set things aside.
Mental health and openness — staying open to learning and new experiences is crucial for mental health, but must be balanced to avoid overwhelming chaos.
Attachment theory in growth — understanding how relationships and brain science intersect offers valuable insight into personal development and mental health.
Resources
The Developing Mind — a book by Dr. Daniel J. Siegel that explores how relationships and the brain interact to shape who we are, drawing on neuroscience and attachment theory.
Open and Curious — a project focusing on curiosity, conversation, and personal growth, discussed extensively throughout the conversation.
Podcaster Community — a community for independent podcasters where ideas like Open and Curious are shared and discussed.
(Written with help from Chat-GPT.)
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Ya big softie
Maybe I’m just a big sentimental softie, but I bet if you peer deep into your past, you don’t see a list of names, dates, and places. Instead, I bet you get a hodgepodge of images and events, and I bet that some of the details are hazy or mixed up, like who was there, what they were wearing, or whether it happened when you were six or when you were eight. But I bet the feelings are clear. You’re probably not confused about whether you felt proud or afraid, welcomed or rejected. And I bet that although you could describe these memories to me—a golden-hued day at the zoo, the last fight your parents had before they got divorced—the words would leave a lot out. To really get me to understand, you’d need to hook your brain up to mine, Avatar-style, so I could feel what you felt.
~ Adam Mastroianni from, You’ll forget most of what you learn. What should you do about that?
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Mastroianni’s article is about learning. In particular, how and why and when we forget, and what might we try to do about that fact. I go through cycles of grasping at trying to remember, and leaning into the forgetting. At the end, I expect I’ll forget everything. (Just sayin’.)
My life improves when I realize that my happiness is relative to where I set my sights. If my goal is to remember as much as possible, I’m going to fall short and be disappointed. If my goal is to be pleasantly surprised when I’m reminded of things (experiences, ideas from others, and my own ideas) which I had already discovered, then that suggests a different course of action. Rather than strain to hold on to everything, I try to release everything from within my mind, and try arrange the world around me to bring me joy.
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Entire vital function
So far as man stands for anything, and is productive or originative at all, his entire vital function may be said to have to deal with maybes. Not a victory is gained, not a deed of faithfulness or courage is done, except upon a maybe; not a service, not a sally of generosity, not a scientific exploration or experiment or textbook, that may not be a mistake. It is only by risking our persons from one hour to another that we live at all.
~ William James
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How does this even exist?
In fact, now I’m wondering if that’s one way you know something is great? When you say: “How does this even exist?”
~ Austin Kleon from, The making of Lilo & Stitch
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Yes, that’s definitely one way.
In about ten weeks I’m making my annual journey to Boston and neighboring Somerville for a parkour event. Much has changed over the years I’ve been going. It’s moved from Septembers to Junes. The size has waxed and waned. A few of the same people are usually there, and there is an endless banquet of new forever-friends.
If you get into doing this thing, and you start going to play and train with others, you soon have a very unusual problem: The more you run into a particular someone, the more it happens in different places. You start to have this precious view of who this person is separated from where that person normally is. Sometimes you know someone well, but have no idea where you know them from. It’s weird. It’s awesome. How does this even exist?
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April 02, 2023 — #26
Reading time: About 4 minutes, 900 words
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This issue is https://7forsunday.com/26
A glimpse
The best way to get a vivid impression and feeling of a landscape, is to sit down before it and read, or become otherwise absorbed in thought; for then, when your eyes happen to be attracted to the landscape, you seem to catch Nature unawares, and see her before she has time to change her aspect. The effect lasts but for a single instant, and passes away almost as soon as you are conscious of it; but it is real, for that moment. It is as if you could overhear and understand what the trees are whispering to one another; as if you caught a glimpse of a face unveiled, which veils itself from every willful glance. The mystery is revealed, and after a breath or two, becomes just as great a mystery as before.
~ Nathaniel Hawthorne from, Nathaniel Hawthorne on How to Look and Really See
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*sigh* Some people can write.
There’s a practice to reaching that effect. At first, I couldn’t pull it off. After much practice, I can now arrive at this state quite regularly. Alas, at no time have I ever imagined as delightful a description as Hawthorne’s. The interesting part of the effect—at least, the effect I’m experiencing—is that it is quite clearly me that is different. Our brains are powerful filters; salient is how we describe that which our brains admit. In experiencing this effect, it feels like the salience filter is transparent… as if, instead of feeling swamped by sensory input, the window to the world is momentarily perfectly clear.
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