Working with the garage door up, means I’m really just thinking out loud. I’m talking mostly to myself. It’s been a long time since I’ve done an episode for one of my own shows. Obviously the break was begun because of health issues in 2024. In the last couple of months though, I again do have the time. And I miss it. So I shall resume.
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I remain only slightly less clueless than as on my birth day. No clue then. After about a trillion seconds of learning, I’ve still not much to go on. Some things have worked— but I’m not sure exactly why. Some things haven’t worked— also not sure why. The only clues I have are very abstract, fortune-cookie sized, clues like: “Work hard. Stay Humble.” (And a few I’ve cribbed from Lao Tsu and Marcus Aurelius come to think of it.)
The following recipe assumes you’re very ambitious.
The first step is to decide what to work on. The work you choose needs to have three qualities: it has to be something you have a natural aptitude for, that you have a deep interest in, and that offers scope to do great work.
~ Paul Graham, from How to Do Great Work
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I’ve often wished there’d been a How to Be Human manual. I’m not sure how one would learn the contents very early on. (How does one learn the first chapters pre-language?) Each year, as one levels up, the next chapter of the manual would become available. Arguably, the entire book reduces to: “Relax. Breath.” But, somewhere around chapter 7 I’d very much liked to have found what Graham wrote. (Even though I’d probably have ignored it until about level 22.)
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Ignorance cannot lead to evil, misconceptions lead to evil. It’s not what people do know, it’s what they pretend that they do.
~ Jean Jacques Rousseau
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How do individuals decide what to share with others, and what strategies are effective for meaningful communication?
The conversation explores the interplay between offering help and withholding it to foster personal growth.
Anything that, sort of, gets you out of the rigidity of pattern is what lights you up.
~ Joe Boyle (17:50)
The conversation explores the complexity of communication, focusing on the tension between offering and withholding help. It examines whether sharing insights is always beneficial or if the onus lies on others to ask for guidance. This perspective ties into the idea that readiness and willingness to seek knowledge often dictate the effectiveness of learning.
The discussion transitions into topics of self-reflection and change, emphasizing how beliefs are often challenged in specific contexts rather than in abstract terms. It also touches on the importance of balance—between consuming information and creating opportunities for others to learn through subtle cues or “Easter eggs.” Personal practices, such as quieting the mind to enhance focus and creativity, are highlighted as valuable tools for personal growth.
Takeaways
Readiness to inquire — Personal growth often requires individuals to take the initiative to ask questions.
Sharing versus withholding — The decision to share knowledge or insights depends on the readiness and openness of the recipient.
Role of failure — Failure is a critical component of the learning process.
Balancing consumption and creation — Leaving subtle hints or “Easter eggs” can foster meaningful exchanges without overwhelming others.
Reframing the urge to help — Changing the motivation behind sharing from seeking approval to genuinely fostering others’ growth.
Rigidity and creativity — Breaking out of patterns can reignite energy and inspiration.
Self-assessment through beliefs — Challenging one’s beliefs can be a tool for intellectual and personal growth.
Mindfulness in decisions — A quiet mind enables better decisions and creativity.
Resources
David Belle — Reference to a story involving him and his father Raymond, emphasizing the importance of asking questions to gain insights.
Edo Portal — Mentioned as a source of inspiration or guidance in certain contexts.
(Written with help from Chat-GPT.)
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Attitude puts apptitude on steroids. Attitude is the soft stuff, but when the chips are down, as they so often are, it’s the soft stuff that often counts.
~ Peter Guber
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I spend a lot of time trying to imagine people’s experiences of things I create. Partly that happens as a direct result of my having empathy and being compassionate—once you start, you can’t stop. (“My mission is creating better conversations to spread understanding and compassion.”) Sometimes my efforts pay off big with a blinding flash of clarity.
I’m regularly doing outreach to people who know me well, a little, or often not-at-all. I’m inviting someone to join me, for a recording of a conversation… which I’m going to immediately publish, without editing. It turns out that scares the crap out of most people. (Are your palms sweating just thinking about it?)
Well, I solved that problem a while ago: When we’re chatting, before we start recording, I explain there’s a safety net. They get the option to veto. I explain that after we stop recording, I will ask them if they’re okay with what we recorded. If they’re not happy, it just gets deleted. And I’ll still be happy because the conversation we had becomes that much more special because I got to experience something that no one else will ever hear.
Today it occurred to me that I should explain that even farther up front. Like right up front on the invitation page that I send people to. If your palms were sweating up there, thinking about being recorded, consider this…
Safety net
After we stop recording, you decide if I publish it. Seriously. You get a big, safe, veto option. Published or vetoed, I’ll still be glad we had a chance to have a cool conversation.
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IMPRESSIONS — “But if you have in reality given thought to nothing other than the proper use of impressions, then as soon as you get up in the morning ask yourself, “What do I lack in order to be free from passion? What, to enjoy tranquillity? What am I? Am I a mere worthless body? Am I property? Am I reputation? None of these. What, then? I am a rational creature.” What, then, is required of you? Go over your actions. “Where did I transgress: in relation to peace of mind? What did I do that was unfriendly, or unsociable, or inconsiderate? What have I failed to do that I ought to have done with regard to these matters?” ~ Epictetus, 4.6.34-5
Trigger. New habit.
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Arrived in the middle? Visit the first post, Where to begin?
(The entire series is available to download as a PDF ebook.)
You can not not communicate. Not discussing the elephant in the room is communicating. Few things are as important to study, practice, and perfect as clear communication.
~ Jason Fried, from The 37signals Guide to Internal Communication
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This article explains how Basecamp—the organization itself—communicates. If you are a human being, who ever encounters other human beings, the initial list is a great primer on how to communicate. The whole article makes me feel warm and fuzzy. As if, somehow, the world would take a big step in the right direction if more people would read this one thing.
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In recent years, we have heard a great deal about the possibility of Peak Oil, including high oil prices. If the issue we are facing is really prices that are too low for producers, then there seems to be the possibility of a different limits issue, called Collapse. Many early economies seem to have collapsed as they reached resource limits. Collapse seems to be characterized by growing wealth disparity, inadequate wages for non-elite workers, failing governments, debt defaults, resource wars, and epidemics. Eventually, population associated with collapsed economies may fall very low or completely disappear. As Collapse approaches, commodity prices seem to be low, rather than high.
~ Gail Tverberg, from Low Oil Prices
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The idea that there may no price where a buyer and seller can agree is patently obvious, right?
Suppose you can only afford to spend $1 on some thing you absolutely need, but I need $100 to cover the cost of producing the thing. No amount of haggling over price will solve this problem. The solution is to add some debt; you borrow some money and buy the thing at some price we can agree on.
What happens if you cannot take on more debt? You need the thing, you cannot afford the price, and you cannot leverage future payment (aka, debt) to purchase the thing…
What happens as more of the world can no longer afford to purchase oil at the price needed by the oil producers?
What happens as more of the world runs out of debt?
…and if you think running out of debt is not possible, please go read more of Gail’s writing.
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Notice a subtle point here: Seneca isn’t saying that prosperity is not worth pursuing. It is, after all, a preferred indifferent. But it is preferred only insofar it doesn’t get in the way of conducting a virtuous life, as one gets the sense Lucilius was worrying about insofar his own pursuits were concerned. Which is why his friend reminds him that he is under no obligation at all to live in the fast lane.
~ Massimo Pigliucci, from Seneca to Lucilius
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Just yesterday, for the first time ever, I considered removing the rear-view mirror from the Jeep. (Instead, I twisted it upwards to view the roof.) Since the Jeep is slow and old, as am I, there is ALWAYS someone tail-gating me. I’ve narrowly avoided accidents, where watching the tail-gater behind me distracted me from the road ahead. I’m so much in the “slow lane”, I am literally being run over. Where, really, are you going?
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No character can be simple unless it is based on truth — unless it is lived in harmony with one’s own conscience and ideals. Simplicity is the pure white light of a life lived from within. It is destroyed by any attempt to live in harmony with public opinion. Public opinion is a conscience owned by a syndicate — where the individual is merely a stockholder. But the individual has a conscience of which he is sole proprietor. Adjusting his life to his own ideals is the royal road to simplicity. Affectation is the confession of inferiority; It is an unnecessary proclamation that one is not living the life he pretends to live.
~ William G. Jordan
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Relax, find a croissant…
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Bruce W. Constantine
April 28, 1946 – January 12, 2011
I can say many things about my father…
He was not a big fan of funerals.
He did not like to wear a suit or tie.
He could not fix plumbing.
He did not ask for directions.
He was not a good cook.
…and he definitely did not like to be called at 3am to fix an elevator.
He was always prepared.
He preferred to work smarter, not harder.
He taught many people to swim, and he swam like a fish.
– After nearly 50 years, Morrow, Fischel, Long & Constantine still hold their pool record in the 200m medley relay.
He could be headstrong, but always did the right thing.
He was gentle, knowing that violence is the last resort of the incompetent.
He was loving, even if not outwardly emotional.
– He liked to make a show of shaking his Father’s Day cards looking for money.
He was reliable.
– When his mom called, he showed up promptly. If something needed to be done, he did it. And if it needed to be fixed, he fixed it.
He was adventurous.
– I can tell you without exaggeration that he travelled from Hawaii to Europe, and from Canada to the Caribbean. He literally dove to the depths of the ocean and walked to the tops of mountains. He flew an airplane, built and flew model planes, sailed small boats, won races on his catamaran, deftly handled large yachts, and navigated Southern Comfort into every by-way from Deleware to Florida.
– In his younger days he careened around the Lehigh valley with his motorcycle and Austin Healy, and he rode thousands of miles on his bicycle.
– And yet, he was never boastful.
He was wise and invariably honest.
He always provided for his family.
He was loyal, and he was dedicated.
– He was happily married for over 42 years, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health.
He was a loving son, husband and father.
…and of course, he made us laugh.
His ability to relate stories and anecdotes did not define who he was. In reality, he was all of the things I’ve mentioned and more. But his ability to make others laugh was exceptional, and for that he will be sorely missed by all who knew him.
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