Friend and fellow podcaster Angie Flynn-McIver published a book, Before You Say Anything, in 2021…
Your intention should be something that really lights you up. You need to feel it in your chest, in your gut. It is the verb that connects you to your audience, the umbilical cord that takes your energy to them and brings theirs back to you. Intention is action.
Little Box of Quotes — For those who don’t know: The quote at the top is now included in my collection, which I call the Little Box of Quotes — number 1,471 to be exact. There’s a daily email available with just exactly one quote, and nothing more. For several years it was also a daily podcast which to more than 1,000 episodes (still available wherever you listen). All free, just because I like to create things that make the world a better place.
Your intention should be something that really lights you up. You need to feel it in your chest, in your gut. It is the verb that connects you to your audience, the umbilical cord that takes your energy to them and brings theirs back to you. Intention is action.
I sometimes talk about the three words, discovery, reflection and efficacy. It’s the reflection that is the force multiplier; the better I get at that, the more it looks like a super-power. Sometimes it’s not possible to view something after I’ve done it, but I can always mentally review.
Ask yourself: what went well? How did you prepare? What did you wear? Who was your audience? What was your internal monologue before you stepped up to speak? In that moment when you got distracted, what had happened? What were you thinking about? How did you get back on track (if you did)? What was on your mind that day?
Flynn-McIver is talking about public speaking, but those are wonderful questions for any context.
Unfortunately, I can get caught up spinning in circles over-thinking things. I’ve recently had good luck using a particular question to create an exit–ramp from my over-thinking. I ask myself: If I could answer these questions, would it enable me to do something? Because when I’m spinning in my over-thinking, I’ve forgotten about that third word in my little mantra: efficacy.
Comedians are prepared for hecklers. People in retail are prepared for irate customers. Pilots prepare for engine fires. It rains when our picnic is scheduled, blizzards cancel our travel plans, and meetings go sideways.
A great question arose in our conversation: “What do I do if I’ve prepared a deliberate intention, and someone else has an intention that is opposed to it?”
There’s no trick. A magician is simply willing to invest vastly more time and money than any sane person (which includes you, watching the performance.) Things are more likely to go well, the better we prepare; And better doesn’t mean simply more hours spent preparing. Better preparation means whatever it means for whatever it is you’re trying to accomplish. If you meet surprising opposition, that’s your failure of imagination.
That said, if you are generally well-prepared, then the surprise of opposition is a rare and precious gift. It’s an opportunity for learning and improvement.
Contribute your suggestion without having built a body of work, without evidence of significant expertise and without being willing to take responsibility for what happens next.
I was totally this person. Once I saw what was going on and I could work on owning and eliminating this aspect of my behavior. Awareness (after discovery), ownership (after reflection), and efficacy. The red-flag is when I’m queueing the words, “You know what you should…” for speaking. Stop. Stop stop stop. It’s like the humorous but often–true aphorism that nothing you say before the word, “but” matters. I never (okay, fine, I’m still working on it) say whatever was about to come after, “You know what you should do…” Because why ever say that?
I like to give a hat-tip to Angie Flynn-McIver any time I start talking about intention, as I’m about to. I realized that my intention behind that thing I no longer say was to demonstrate how much I knew. It doesn’t matter to the other person how much I know. What might matter to them is whether or not I can help them. It’s potentially better if I engage with the intention of being helpful. How would saying, “you should change your menu…” ever be helpful to the wait-staff, to the manager, to the chef or owner? The menu is beyond their control, or they have already thought about it way more than I have and have vastly deeper domain knowledge. If my intention is (as it now is) to be helpful, I should be paying attention for signs subtle or direct that someone would like help. Only then might I have something useful to add, but probably not.
This isn’t an intention. It’s a recap of what someone wants to get done, but it does not serve the function of engaging others in a way that will lead to action.
What strategies can be used to overcome barriers to starting creative projects, particularly in podcasting and writing?
The conversation highlights how simplifying processes can make creative projects more achievable.
Just do the things. Stop talking about doing the things. Stop making lists about doing the things. Stop taking courses about doing the thing, and do the thing.
~ Angie Flynn-McIver (4:25)
The conversation examines the challenges of beginning and sustaining creative projects, such as podcasting and writing. One significant obstacle discussed is the tendency to overthink and complicate processes, which often leads to procrastination. There is an emphasis on embracing imperfect action by focusing on the essence of creating and publishing rather than getting caught up in technicalities or external validation.
Collaboration emerges as a crucial theme, drawing parallels to theater’s reliance on teamwork. The discussion highlights the benefits of seeking help and leveraging others’ expertise to overcome creative roadblocks. The importance of authentic, in-depth conversations as a tool for growth is also underscored, alongside reflections on how intentional dialogue can bridge differences and foster mutual understanding.
Takeaways
Creative work and perfectionism — Overthinking the technical details can prevent projects from starting.
The value of collaboration — Bringing in others’ expertise helps overcome creative hurdles.
Intentional conversations — Engaging in meaningful dialogue fosters growth and understanding.
Simplifying processes — Focusing on essentials reduces barriers to action.
Overcoming procrastination — Starting imperfectly is better than waiting for ideal conditions.
Accountability systems — Tools like scheduling and inviting others keep projects moving forward.
Iterative creation — Progress is achieved by producing and refining over time.
Resources
Ignite CSP — Angie’s coaching and speaking company, featuring her blog and other resources.
Angie makes a good point. Go read her post while it’s top-of-your-mind. (It’s short. I’ll wait here for you…)
I have this perennial itch to try to teach people how to use the tools I’m using to wrestle the Internet into being a source of wonder, inspiration and knowledge about our universe. But for the life of me I can never figure out a good way to do it. I feel like I should be able to take 30+ years of learning and futzing with computers and the Internet, and generate some manageably-sized chunks of learning that others could use. I’ve an Internet tech tag that, I suppose, is me doing my best.
What’s that? …what does that paragraph have to do with that quote? Oh, right, sorry…
I enjoy being able to notice when Angie writes, and I appreciate that I get exposed to what she writes when it works for me. That’s thanks to my use of RSS tools.
What role does intentionality play in effective communication and personal growth?
Although she is officially an ‘expert’ in communication, Angie Flynn-McIver simply considers herself constantly fascinated by it. Angie Flynn-McIver discusses intention; What it is, coaching it, and practicing it. She shares her own stories of intention, coaching, and travel, and gives advice on finding your guiding stars. Angie unpacks her thoughts on the power of storytelling and how to use your intention to chart your course.
The answer to all of that is intention. The answer to all of that is actually you have to do some really deep personal work to figure out where you’re coming from and what motivates you.
~ Angie Flynn-McIver (12:54)
Angie Flynn-McIver is a communication expert, theater director, and business woman based in North Carolina. As the founder of Ignite CSP, she uses her theater experience to coach others in effective and intentional communication. Angie and her husband are also the founders of the North Carolina Stage Company, an award winning theater in it’s 19th season.
The conversation explores how intentionality shapes communication and personal growth, particularly in coaching and storytelling. It begins by examining the concept of deliberate versus default intentions, explaining how our unexamined patterns often drive behavior and how adopting deliberate intentions fosters meaningful interactions. Insights are shared about how actors use intention to create authenticity, with parallels drawn to everyday communication challenges.
Another focal point is the role of storytelling as both a coaching tool and a human experience. Stories connect intention to outcomes, providing a narrative framework for understanding and navigating life. Practical advice is offered, such as practicing intention in mundane settings like grocery stores to build self-awareness. The conversation highlights the importance of narrative, not just as an enhancer of coaching but as a foundational tool for aligning actions with goals.
Takeaways
Storytelling as a tool — It connects deeply with human cognition and emotions, making it an effective coaching method.
Default versus deliberate intention — Identifying and shifting from default patterns can transform communication and actions.
Practical application of intention — Small everyday tasks, like grocery shopping, serve as effective practice grounds for cultivating deliberate intention.
Intention in coaching — Coaches use intention to help clients align actions with larger goals while addressing immediate needs.
Empathy through communication — Building understanding and connection requires intention to be present and aware in every interaction.
Resources
Ignite CSP — Angie’s coaching company focusing on intentional communication and leadership.
The next time you’re feeling stymied and frustrated, look at the clock. When is your best time to create, to analyze, to think? Is it early or late? Are you trying to fit a square peg into a round hole?
I often feel my entire existence is a vicious cycle of plan, plan, over-plan… until I rebel against the self-imposed structures and tear down all the walls and systems. But one thing is ever present: I never know when to quit.
I should amend that. Until very recently, I never knew when to quit. That does not mean I now always know when to quit, and it certainly does not mean that I do quit when I should. But every once in a great while, it occurs to me that now would be the perfect time to stop.
Way too often I feel I don’t have the time to do something at the right time and try to just jam the square peg in. One more task before dinner. One more thing to organize before this. One more thing. One more thing. One more thing.