Self-awareness

My way? →

Published 3 Days Ago  ·  All posts on Mar 10  ·  

For me, all these complex valences reach their peak in one song. And you know which one I’m talking about.

Ted Gioia, from “My Way” or the Highway?

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There was a time—20 years ago, I’d say—when I sang along. It was of course aspirational— or— I’m looking for a word; not quite “aspirational.” I was singing along as if the song in any way represents my actual story. In reality, I’m only acting as if I’d actually tried to do even a few of the things expressed, let alone actually accomplished all the things expressed. Is that posturing? …playacting? …attempting to borrow someone’s bravado?

I’m going to go with: self-deception.

There was a time, not too long ago, when I sang along in self-deception. Now the song reminds me that I’ve never actually even tried to do anything… let alone accomplished anything worth singing about.

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Bifocals →

Published January 8  ·  All posts on Jan 8  ·  ,

I’ve come to realize I have a kind of bifocal attention – solving today’s problem while simultaneously noticing the friction, which I can’t leave alone. I’ll stop in the middle of the task to write the script, the alias, the doc, the template. Not because I’m procrastinating the real work, but because to me this is the real work – the specific task is just today’s instance of a pattern I’ll hit again.

The instinct has a cost: it’s slower in the moment. The payoff is cumulative and mostly invisible – unless someone else sees my environment and how I work. That’s where the “wizardry” appears; One gesture suddenly seems to perform magic. Except it’s not magic, it’s just a lot of bifocal attention.

It’s an acquired taste to know when the improvement is worth the interruption.

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What defines you →

Published October 21  ·  All posts on Oct 21  ·  ,

Bruce, deep down you may still be that same great kid you used to be. But it’s not who you are underneath, it’s what you do that defines you.

~ Rachel Dawes, Batman Begins (2005)

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When does it get good? →

Published July 13  ·  All posts on Jul 13  ·  ,

Those last few reps are the money makers — the best return for your effort you’re going to get, but many people don’t even know they’re possible. My usual stopping point felt like just about the end of the road, but it was actually the beginning of a hidden, hyper-rewarding territory where exceptional results happen.

~ David Cain, from Doing More is Often Easier

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That is a critical life-lesson which I learned through Art du Déplacement. Therein we talk a lot about such things as sharing, being strong to be useful, and community. However, the biggest gains are in the personal development. It’s a journey of growth, yes, but more so it’s a journey of personal discovery. «Allons-y!»

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Appetite →

Published July 6  ·  All posts on Jul 6  ·  ,

No man’s body is as strong as his appetites.

~ Tillotson

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Insert reflection →

Published March 4, 2025  ·  All posts on Mar 4  ·  

For greater happiness, a better way to live employs what behavioral scientists call metacognition. This simply refers to an impartial awareness of your emotions, a capacity to see them as important information but not as a mandate for any particular behavior. Good ways to practice metacognition include Vipassana meditation, journaling, and prayers, which shift the experience of involuntary emotion into the realm of conscious attention.

~ Arthur C. Brooks, from Why Humility Is the Key to Well-Being – The Atlantic

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There are endless methods: Write that angry screed, but don’t send it (put the paper-letter in a drawer, or save the email as a draft.) Count to 10 before saying or doing anything when you are angry. Name your feelings, internally or out loud (“I’m a feeling angry.”) Viktor Frankl’s comments on the space between stimulus and response. I don’t have a specific takeaway, other than that I’m simply reminding myself of all these options which I’d like to continue to practice using more often.

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Complainer heal thyself →

Published February 10, 2025  ·  All posts on Feb 10  ·  

And so I’ve been learning to find the complainer in myself, and bring love to him. This is transformative! It means it’s OK for me to have complaint, to feel put upon, to not be happy or grateful. This is a permission to just be how I am right now — which is sometimes full of complaint.

~ Leo Babauta, from Transforming Our Complaints into Something Generative

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Some days I really wish I could just let go of all this blogging shenanigans. But it does force me to do a lot of reading, and that means I’m periodically reminded to pay attention to what Babauta is saying.

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A phrase for 2025 →

Published January 2, 2025  ·  All posts on Jan 2  ·  ,

2025? Inconceivable! Still, it’s time to settle on my yearly touch phrase for 2025.

SERENITY

In 2012 I began selecting a phrase or word to use as a guide. David Bourne pointed out there’s a word for that: Cynosure.

When I picked the phrase in 2012, I didn’t imagine it would become a yearly ritual. It required significant reading through my journals to realize I even had chosen cynosures for 2012 and 2015. Over the years I’ve used the following:

2012 – Will-power and self-possession
2015 – simplify
2017 – “A dream is just a dream. A goal is a plan and a deadline.” ~ unknown
2018 – hell yes! or, NO.
2019 – NO.
2020 – get less done
2021 – festina lente
2022 – choose wisely
2023 – choose today
2024 – HUMILITY

There are echoes. For example 2022’s is effectively a refinement of 2012’s. And there’s an over-arching story of simplification and increasing self-awareness. What more could I ask for?

Mostly I use these cynosures in my journaling. I generally end each entry by writing it, followed by memento mori. Here’s the end of 2024…

I’m obviously reminding myself of these ideas. I’m also preparing for my certain death. I will one day write a final journal entry, and it would be fitting to have “memento mori” be my final journaled words.

My choice for 2025 is meant to be aspirational. In some journal entries in December I was writing about themes I might seek more of in the new year; Tranquility, contentment, or perhaps gratitude? Serenity won out because I’d like to maintain my serenity, at all times. Even when active. Even in the midst of chaos.

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It’s not you, it’s me →

Published December 31, 2024  ·  All posts on Dec 31  ·  

Life is rich and colorful but to justify the habit you tell yourself that your phone will somehow be more interesting. This is an excuse. If you’re bored by the situation you’re in it’s your own damn fault.

~ Tom Critchlow, from The Art of Being Switched On

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Yes, absolutely. There are levels to this art of being switched on. First is to be come self-aware enough to notice that you are generally off. Second, being able to notice in the moment when you are off. Third, being on. Fourth—and this makes the first three seem easy—being truly happy when others around you are switched off.

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Leadership →

Published November 1, 2024  ·  All posts on Nov 1  ·  ,

Freedom, by definition, is people realizing that they are their own leaders.

~ Diane Nash

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