Author: Craig Constantine

Growing up is hard

Published May 12, 2018  ·  All posts on May 12  ·  

When people say they don’t want to embrace adulthood, what they really mean is that they don’t want to be a grownup themselves, but they want to live in a world where everyone else is. They want competent, effective politicians to represent them; they want their journalists and doctors to be smart and level-headed with a comforting mantle of gravitas; they want their children’s teachers to be dedicated and on-the-ball; they want customer service to be friendly and efficient; they want police officers to be honest and fair. They want the world to be stable, predictable…so they can afford to be erratic and irresponsible. They want to be kids, but live in an adult world, where grownups are at the ready to take care of their every need.

~ Brett McKay from, Why Growing Up Is Hard to Do (But Why the World Still Needs Adults)

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This was an enjoyable read that brought up a lot of good points. The basic question being explored is why is growing up harder “these days”? Brett spends a lot of time talking about what is different “these days” in society, in culture, in the human experience. It was a breath of fresh air from the more common “kids these days…” sort of screed.

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Sort out what is important

Published May 11, 2018  ·  All posts on May 11

Every day I have a choice between working on pointless little tasks or big meaningful projects. On days that I choose the former, I end each day feeling I’ve accomplished very little, even though I’ve put in a lot of hours at my desk. I’ve kept up, but all I did was spin my wheels for another day. But when I chose to do the important stuff first, I feel great, knowing that I’m on my way to producing major results.

~ Steve Pavlina from, Conscious Procrastination

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More than 25 years ago, Steven Covey included a simple graph in a book. This task right here– is it important, and is it urgent?

Anything that’s not important, well, good– You just stopped doing that. Gaming, television, most of what you do on the internet, etc. If you’re still doing UN-important stuff… I don’t know what to say.

Now the important stuff is where the hard thinking begins. How important? Does it pay off now, or later? Does is pay off for me, my family (but not me), my family (including me), my tribe, the world . . . well, sorting out all the important stuff is IMPORTANT but not URGENT and so it gets skipped and pushed off. I’m happy to be the bearer of great news: You now know the most important thing to do: Sort out what is important to you.

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Move or die

Published May 9, 2018  ·  All posts on May 9

Suffering long and mild, leading nowhere of consequence…

And suffering swift, short, and harrowing… leading to the life you long for.

We take to the former gladly, happy to stagger down tortuous but clear paths.

But it is the brief, blind leaps that change the game entirely.

~ Bryan Ward from, Move Or Die

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Reading anything written by Bryan Ward is like playing with a sharp knife: You will get cut, and you will learn a very valuable lesson.

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Hamlet in prison

Published May 8, 2018  ·  All posts on May 8  ·  

Shakespeare may seem like an odd match for a group of hardened criminals, but Jack found that they understand the Bard on a level that most of us might not. It’s a play about murder and its consequences, performed by murderers, living out the consequences.

~ Jack Hitt from, Act V

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This is not a joke. It’s exactly what it seems.

Turns out old Shakes knew what he was writing about.

Also, if you (unless I’m mistaken about how many felons are reading this) think you’ve understood Hamlet– well, *bzzt* oh, so sorry, thank you for playing, we have some nice parting gifts. These guys in prison, they understand Hamlet.

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Arrogance

Published May 7, 2018  ·  All posts on May 7  ·  

If you want to accelerate your rate of personal growth, work on becoming as honest as possible, both with yourself and others. The more honest you become, the more accurate will be your model of reality. And this will dramatically improve the success rate of your decisions and actions. Overconfidence and underconfidence are equally problematic, so strive for accuracy instead.

~ Steve Pavlina from, The Three Bears: Arrogance, Timidity, and Honesty

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Certainly there is a time and place for emotions. (Appropriate emotions of course.) But my experience is that any time my emotions, or my beliefs get a hold of the steering wheel things veer badly. I do much better when I use my brain to think things through, sort wheat from the chaff, and make plans. I’m not sure where I’m going, but I sure know where I came from.

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Origin story

Published May 6, 2018  ·  All posts on May 6  ·  

“I should lose weight. Specifically, I should lose some of this fat. …actually, a lot of this fat.”

Since I began my health tracking grids I had been regularly tracking my weight, building the habit of stepping on the scale every day. I’ve read several opinions that this is a bad idea. Because one’s weight can fluctuate significantly day-to-day, daily weighing can lead to “fear of the scale” and stress. I disagree. After stepping on the scale every day for about 10 years, it is now simply something I do. The scale shows me a number and I write it down.

One day I started reading more about physiology. How your body composition changes. How a strength building session increases muscle mass (duh) and that can make your weight increase in the short term. Suddenly, the scale going up can be a good thing.

…and then I wondered, “how much should I optimally weigh?”

http://healthcorrelator.blogspot.com/2016/10/virtual-paleo-summit-video-what-is-your.html

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At the time I began this “waist/weight ratio project,” I weighed about 230 pounds and the “male, 5 feet 11 inches tall” medical guideline is . . . 175 pounds. What?! I would be ecstatic if I weighted 220. I’m not sure what I would do if I weighed even 215— I’d probably fall down in a stiff breeze.

So how exactly should one “optimize” weight? Why should I select any specific weight target? Why 175 (as medically recommended,) or 220 (college body!). What if my weight isn’t changing as I make healthy improvements– how do I track that? I began to think perhaps I should optimize health markers: Blood sugar regulation, inflammation markers, and triglycerides, and that is far more complicated than “step on the scale.”

Waist-to-weight ratio

One day, I read the following article. It’s deceptively short, but quite complicated and subtle. You should go read this very carefully before continuing.

http://healthcorrelator.blogspot.com/search/label/waist-to-weight%20ratio

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A terrible mistake

Published May 3, 2018  ·  All posts on May 3  ·  

Suddenly, a decision I hadn’t even been aware I had made – giving up the thrill of movement for movement’s sake – seemed like a terrible mistake. I felt the same as if I had thrown out my entire music collection by accident.

~ Julie Angel from, Be Brave! “For big results, think small”

I completely agree with this sentiment. By the time I realized how much I had given up, it was far too late for me to recover what I had lost. These days everyone says complementary things about how much I’ve changed, or how well I’m doing. All I’m thinking is, “if only I hadn’t . . .”

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§4 – Handy Items in a Grab Bag

Published May 2, 2018  ·  All posts on May 2

This entry is part 4 of 5 in the series Travel Gear

The bag

http://www.cumberlandconcepts.com/shop/medium-zipper-bags-2/

Cumberland Concepts “medium” bag (available in a slew of colors).

This bag is quite small. That’s the point: It’s it’s easy to grab and easy to stuff into whatever it is you’re carrying that day.

What and why

This little bag provides convenience and a bit of insurance. (Its exact purpose depends on what you decide to keep in the bag.) It is easy to prepare this bag, and it requires very little maintenance to keep it ready-to-go. By purposefully setting it up, you will beginning thinking intentionally about packing. You will begin building the habit of thinking about why are you packing, what do you need, what do you want, and balancing the answers against how much you want to carry around.

Following is a list of ideas intended to spur your thinking. I have no idea what you will want to put into this bag. There are surely some items you’ve wished you had, but which would be impossible to individually remember to always bring, and there are some important-in-a-pinch items that could be priceless insurance in rare situations. As you read this list, imagine scenarios where you would smile when you realized, “oh! I have [item] with me!”

  • Small notebook and pen/pencil
  • Epi-pen
  • Pocket knife
  • Medication
  • Micro flashlight
  • Pack of tissues
  • Some spare cash
  • Something to eat
  • Spare identification

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You begin to see common threads

Published May 1, 2018  ·  All posts on May 1

The core of the philosophy seems to be this: To have a good and meaningful life, you need to overcome your insatiability. Most people, at best, spend their lives in a long pursuit of happiness. So today’s successful person writes out a list of desires, then starts chasing them down and satisfying the desires. The problem is that each desire, when satisfied, tends to be replaced by a new desire. So the person continues to chase. Yet after a lifetime of pursuit, the person ends up no more satisfied than he was at the beginning. Thus, he may end up wasting his life.

~ Peter Adeney from, What is Stoicism and How Can it Turn your Life to Solid Gold?

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Mr. Money Mustache is fun and chock-full-of challenges to re-think, and shrug off the western, consumerism mindset. (Which I, at least, have grown up with.) Here he is discovering Stoicism back in 2011. It pleases me greatly when I find common threads appearing in the various people and places that I follow.

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Tipping the scales

Published April 29, 2018  ·  All posts on Apr 29

Since you can’t do everything, you have to choose the things that are most important. That’s where a task management system can really help. By allowing you to filter out the things you shouldn’t be doing right now, it limits the scope of what you are thinking about and makes it easier to choose the right thing. By choosing the right tasks to work on, you can tip the scales of imbalance in your favor and achieve your personal and professional goals.

~ Mike Schmitz from, How to Achieve Your Goals with Any Task Management System

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I suppose it is possible that one day I will manage to let go of all the things I want to achieve. I say that only because the alternative — what I’ve been doing my entire life, chasing goals — is completely and utterly hopeless. Down that path lies madness.

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Vast willpower is, well, not one of my powers

Published April 28, 2018  ·  All posts on Apr 28  ·  

I dunno. But I don’t think of myself as working hard at any of the things I am good at, in the sense of “exerting vast willpower to force myself kicking and screaming to do them”. It’s possible I do work hard, and that an outside observer would accuse me of eliding how hard I work, but it’s not a conscious elision and I don’t feel that way from the inside.

~ Scott Alexander from, The Parable of the Talents

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True story:

Long ago, I worked with a boy who was dating a girl. Boy goes to girl’s house for a dinner with her parents. Turns out that the girl’s father is a professor at College. The boy mentions he has a co-worker who went to that College, and mentions my name. Girl’s father says, “Oh! Craig was one of my students… He could have done well if he had applied himself.” Turns out father was one of the professors in my major. I had many classes with him, and he went on to be Department Head for a while. So he did, in fact, know me well.

I didn’t do the bare minimum. But to be fair to that professor, I didn’t really work super-hard either.

It was all, more or less, easy.

What would have been hard, would have been being in the Arts college and trying to do art-type-things. Hell, I would NEVER have even gotten accepted into the Arts college at that same university.

What was hard for me? I took a literature survey class once — ONCE. I took a journalism course… that was so hard I think I hallucinated most of it(*). I spent years trying to learn to play the piano, and the guitar– fail. And, I’m out of superlatives, but losing fat is really hard for me. And, controlling my disfunctional relationship with food is really REALLY hard. Also, languages are hard — I’ve been trying to stuff French into my head for 5 years now…

So:

That thing you’re doing that you find easy? …I’m — or someone else, you get the point — thinking, “HOW DO YOU DO THAT?!”

(*) On the other hand, it was the only course my now-wife and I were ever in together, so while I worked very hard, I was probably a little distracted.

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Too grandiose an aspiration

Published April 27, 2018  ·  All posts on Apr 27  ·  

To be sure, understanding the whole of the universe seems like too grandiose an aspiration when we are continually struggling to understand the tiny subset of the universe that is ourselves.

~ Maria Popova from, Carl Sagan on Mystery, Why Common Sense Blinds Us to the Universe, and How to Live with the Unknown

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As with many things Maria Popova creates, anything I add would simply detract. Click. Thank me later.

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What to do with your life?

Published April 26, 2018  ·  All posts on Apr 26  ·  

If you’ve read this much without turning away, then your awareness is already too high for you to be happy living like the sleeping masses. It’s time to wake up. The bright light will hurt your eyes at first, even make your eyes water, but you’ll get used to it. And then you’ll receive your own high-powered awareness flashlight. And I have to tell you that it’s oodles of fun shining that thing in people’s eyes when they least suspect it…

~ Steve Pavlina from, Deciding What to Do With Your Life

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If you are seeking entertainment instead of education… wake up!
If you frequently say, “I have to…” … wake up!
If you can no longer read… wake up!
If you can no longer write… wake up!
If you can no longer move… wake up!

( …remember that comment I made a few days ago about the line? )

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Pidgeon holes and simplifications

Published April 24, 2018  ·  All posts on Apr 24  ·  

Something beautiful happens when you develop and build a close relationship and friendship with someone. The closer you become with someone, the more you can zoom in past their story to the person they really are, and see them as someone just as complex, vulnerable, and rich as yourself.

~ Chris Bailey from, When a person becomes an idea

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This is a great way to sneak up on a mistake I make all the time.

In order to keep track of so many people, I have to distill them down to some sort of narrative; where are they? what do they do? in what context do I normally interact with them? …and so on. This leads to me summarizing people, and that’s good because it enables me to push my monkey sphere to a much larger number. The problem comes when I then expect (or worse, require) that the person also fit into that summary that I’ve created.

I’d like to say I learned to not make this mistake through years of thought and self-reflection. But that’s not how it happened.

I learned about this when I slowly, finally managed to make some HUGE changes in myself — and people kept jamming me into the same story. This was— well, “annoying,” would be a polite way to put it— “pushing down on my head while I feel I’m already drowning”, would be another way.

…and then, as with pretty much everything, I looked into my self-perception and realized, “oh crap! I too am doing this to everyone else.”

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What the phatic?!

Published April 23, 2018  ·  All posts on Apr 23  ·  

Douglas Adams once said there was a theory that if anyone ever understood the Universe, it would disappear and be replaced by something even more incomprehensible. He added that there was another theory that this had already happened. These sorts of things – things such that if you understand them, they get more complicated until you don’t – are called “anti-inductive”.

~ Scott Alexander from, The Phatic and the Anti-Inductive

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A couple decades ago — I still say I have mild Asperger’s syndrome — I would have said, “I do not understand small talk. Stop jaw’in and transmit some useful information.” S-l-o-w-l-y, as I learned how to listen, I’ve come around to the view that there are many useful layers of communication. So, new word for 2018 (for me anyway): phatic.

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