…where you feel guilty for what you did on Black Friday and Cyber Monday.
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Snark
Selfie
Objects in mirror are closer than they appear.
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Craig sans mustache
Yes. No mustache.
…and no, you have never seen me without a mustache.
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6th gen prog lang
6th gen prog lang: when you yell to a co-worker, “yo! email me that binary.”
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Fortunately someone reads the entire opinion from the court
First use of phrase “legalistic argle-bargle” since 1824’s Gibbons v. Ogden
~ Kevin Underhill from, http://www.loweringthebar.net/2013/06/top-ten-.html
slip:4uloto1.
I need to work this into conversations more often
What you’ve just said… is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
~ “Decathalon Judge” from, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Billy_madison
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Sally sells sea shells by the sea shore is simple compared to this
The Chaos
Dearest creature in creation
Studying English pronunciation,
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse and worse.I will keep you, Susy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy;
Tear in eye, your dress you’ll tear;
Queer, fair seer, hear my prayer.Pray, console your loving poet,
~ Gerard Nolst Trenité (1870-1946) from, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Chaos
Make my coat look new, dear, sew it!
Just compare heart, hear and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word.
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Periodic table of Advice Animals
SAS, 5.25″ Floppy, Lasers and Sh*t
Once upon a time…
Hey, so we have this really dry book about SAS. We need something punchy for the cover art… I know! We’ll put some uber-tech on the front… like a 5.25″ floppy! Those are cutting edge, we’ll be using them forever.
Yeah, but can we have, like sharks, with frickin’ laser beams on their heads or something… ?
We can’t get sharks…
Ok, just make like a frickin’ laser coming out of the floppy…. zowee! These will fly off the shelves!
Wait. What?
25 year old tech on the cover; I think I can get rid of this book now.
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I just noticed that…
…if you say “gullible” slowly, it sounds just like “oranges”.
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Pennsytucky
wait wat? pennsytucky. i’m at a concert, and there’s a guy with tobasco in a hip holster. whisky tango foxtrot?!
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Muth
@dmuth “a tale of Georgetown intrigue and eccentricity. And murder.” Doug? I thought you were in Philly ;)
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Piano
A hernia shaped like a piano!
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