Movers Mindset Three Words

This essay is also presented as episode Craig Constantine: Discovery, reflection, and efficacy of the Movers Mindset podcast.

In each of the Movers Mindset podcast episodes, I ask guests to pick three words to describe their practice. Each guest’s choice has turned out to be a much more interesting and intriguing part of the conversation than we had initially anticipated.

The word practice goes beyond movement and often evokes broader images and ideas that reflect an approach to life. The idea that parkour and movement techniques in general are more than just physical has always been behind Movers Mindset. This is why I focus on ideas and reflection, for example, rather than on flashy videos of daring movement. The deeper dive into the mindset of movers is where the real magic happens.

That’s why I decided to do some introspection and pick three words that describe my practice. It was a challenge because reducing your practice to three words can seem like you are saying that the practice is nothing more than these three words, so you try to pick broad, powerful words to make sure you cover everything. Really, however, when you pick words that are too broad and too sweeping, you wind up not really saying anything specific that is unique to you. On the other hand, if you try to pick overly specific words, they may describe only one tiny part of your practice and give the impression that the scope of your focus is too narrow.

Picking three words is a challenge that I give to our guests, so it’s fair that I do it too. I found that capturing the essence of my practice in three words required a lot of introspection, and the act of choosing three words wound up being empowering. By going through the process, I now understand my practice more explicitly and am better prepared to describe it to other people. It’s not that I did not know the path I was following before, but now the path is clearer. It is easier to determine if a new project is consistent with my practice and vision, and this helps guide my choices in the overall direction of Movers Mindset. In general, I found the exercise to be challenging and highly worthwhile.  If you want the extra boost yourself, picking three words to describe your own practice is a good way to get started. It is a great way to discover things about yourself and about your relationship to the world.

This leads me to the first word: discovery. I wanted a word that involved starting with reality, with what we know about the world and about ourselves. I rejected observation because it is not active enough.  It has connotations of just sitting back and watching, listening, and taking the world in through your senses, but in a passive way. I also did not want a word like imagination or invention as my starting point, because these involve creating things. 

Generations ago when Benjamin Franklin confronted that fearsomely powerful storm driven on by his even more powerful desire to know—a desire that pushed him beyond the limits of anything humans had ever done—he was driven by the urge to discover, the urge to take action to learn what it was and what made it work. Franklin discovered that lightning was a form of electricity, but Edison invented the lightbulb. Discovery always comes first. Franklin pushed past the millennia of fear, the millennia of cowering primitive people who saw lightning as the tool and province of the gods—never to be understood, grasped, or controlled by humans. He uncovered or discovered its secret. By learning what it was, he took the tool of the gods and made it his own. He was not the first to discover facts about electricity, but his actions symbolize the process and the principle: boldly looking at reality, uncovering its secrets, and moving them from the realm of mystery and superstition to our realm of understanding and science.

Discovery is an active process involving interacting or experimenting with reality. You may not discover that you are great at painting, cooking, or singing until you try and observe the results. Often you will discover that you need more practice or that you need to master specific skills and techniques. However, without action, you cannot discover your strengths to move you forward or discover any weaknesses to be overcome. Discovery involves the honest looking at reality and the identification and understanding of what reality tells you. Your opinions, wishes, feelings, do not matter at this stage.  What matters is that you observe to the best of your ability, that you experiment, and that you see—with as much honesty and focus as you can muster—all that reality has to offer.

Discovery is not the end of the game; it is only the beginning. The second step in the process leads me to my second word: reflection. Discovery means you have learned something about reality and yourself. What should you do with that information? What does it mean? What do you do next? The answer is that you must think about what you learned. Why didn’t I pick the word thinking instead of reflection? Thinking is too broad in meaning for this context. While I am a big advocate of thinking in general and recognize it as the key to every successful human endeavor—without exception, my practice involves a particular type of thinking that is tied directly to reality and the facts I have uncovered about it. Reflection captures this meaning. A clear reflection in a mirror involves the accurate reproduction of reality.

As we think about things, we want to be careful that we do not go off course, that we do not imagine things that are not real or ignore things that are. We want to make sure that our thinking accurately reflects those facts about reality that we have discovered. Reflection is a type of careful thinking that takes each idea and connects it specifically to some fact about reality that we have discovered. There is nothing in your head to automatically guarantee that your thinking is correct. It is easy to go off course. It is easy to deceive yourself. It is easy to make the mistake that an early failure at a complex movement means that you will never master it. Reflection can protect you from such errors. If you fail in your first attempt, that is a fact, a part of reality that you cannot deny. So, the idea that you failed is valid; it corresponds to a fact you discovered. However, the idea that you will be bad at this every time you try is imaginary; you made it up. There is no discovery in reality, no fact in reality that corresponds to the notion that you will always fail. There is no reason to believe or to accept your imagined ideas when they do not reflect reality.

Reflection, then, is a type of self-check, a way of making sure that your ideas are validated by reality. Imagination can give you ideas about what you want to validate through discovery and reflection, but it leads to useful information only when the idea is tested. If you imagine you will always be bad at something, start testing your idea. Practice. Practice again and again. Discover if you get better or if you continue to be bad at it. Reflect on your progress honestly. If after a period of regular practice, you find that you still are no good at it, there is at least a possibility that you are right. Your conclusion has some support. But if you are much better now than you were when you started, that improvement supports the idea that you will eventually—with continued practice and diligence—get good at it.

Reflection also means holding a mirror up to yourself. Why do you like certain things? What makes you feel happy, successful, powerful or disappointed and sad? Why do you think you are good at something? How did you develop those skills? Reflecting on your strengths and understanding what worked for you previously helps you grow. Reflecting on the things that scare you and hold you back helps you develop the strengths you need to overcome those worries. When you reflect on your emotions, you discover ideas or premises that are the foundation of those emotions. This means you have the opportunity to reflect on those ideas and premises and test them against reality. Are they true or false? Do they correspond to reality or contradict it?

These two questions–Are your ideas true or false? Do your ideas correspond to reality or contradict it?–ask the same thing. Reality is the standard of right and wrong, of true and false. By actively reflecting about your ideas, your discoveries, your thoughts, and your feelings, you will eventually eliminate all contradictions from your entire life. You will reach a state where you see reality, and yourself in it, with full clarity and full understanding. The world has rules by which it behaves. Things act in a particular way. If you drop something, it falls. If you touch a fire, it hurts. If you act according to these rules, you will be successful. If you ignore the rules either by failing to discover them or by evasion, you fail. Acting in accordance with the rules of reality gives you a sense of self-confidence in your own ability. This leads me to my last word that captures this self-confidence: efficacy.

After practicing discovery and reflection again and again, you realize through experience that the world is knowable. You learn that you can discover it, learn its rules, and apply them successfully. You know that you have the power to validate your results along the way and correct any errors. Reflection gives you confidence that what you have discovered, is correct; your knowledge and conclusions are valid. Given enough time and effort, you know that you can reach any rational goal, understand any process, and check and refine your results thoroughly until you have the confidence of certainty. This mental state, where you know you can meet any challenge, learn anything, develop any skill, solve any problem is efficacy.

Efficacy is the power to produce a desired effect. Recognition of your own efficacy means that you have recognized your own potential for continued success and growth. Your choices of actions at this point are not based on concerns about current limits of your ability or understanding. Instead, your choices are guided by what skills, practices, and accomplishments will give you the most enjoyment, make your life better, increase your skills, or broaden your knowledge. Your experience in life changes from asking “What can I do?” to asking “What should I do to make my life the best it can be?”

The ancient Greeks had a word for this process of reaching your full potential: eudaimonia. I did not pick that as one of my three words, in part because it is even more obscure than efficacy, but eudaimonia was in the running. Aristotle wrote most extensively about eudaimonia, but it was important to many Greek philosophers. It is difficult to translate, because the concepts leading up to it are not widely understood in our culture. Few people today recognize that by understanding the rules of reality, validating them, and putting them into practice consistently, success is almost guaranteed—barring error or misfortune. Eudaimonia integrates these ideas into a process of living your best life. It is a continuous process of self-actualization where all the best conditions are in place: happiness, morality, meaning, purpose, the fulfilling of our special, unique potentials as humans. Efficacy is necessary to have the confidence to work toward eudaimonia.

Eudaimonia is more than just a final condition. It is the process of human flourishing. It is the process of doing those things that best help you function well as a human being at the highest level. My other two words, discovery and reflection, are both active processes, and I want to focus on the active process of developing and recognizing efficacy. Efficacy includes both being effective and recognizing that you are effective; it describes a self-aware competence in action. Eudaimonia is the goal, but recognizing and developing your own efficacy is how you get there and stay there.

Finally, I wanted three words that reflect my practice in terms of its essentials, but which could also help others find their personal path to success. The words had to capture the ideas of action and thinking, doing and learning–the Mover and the Mindset. They had to wrap up my process and philosophy in a way that captures who I am and provides value to the Movers Mindset audience. I think that discovery and reflection applied iteratively, building on previous knowledge and success leads to continued growth. Repeated experience with success and growth leads to a recognition of efficacy where you understand that you have potential to be successful in almost anything.

Activities that involve continuous improvements are often described as mastery practices. Mastery practices involve continuous improvement through discovery, reflection, and active practice with full recognition of efficacy. While mastery practices range from focused practices like law, medicine, martial arts, plumbing or carpentry, the most important mastery practice is living your own life to the fullest–reaching your full potential–eudaimonia. Since your full potential requires continuous improvement, it is important to develop the mindset–the set of ideas–that allows for this unceasing movement toward greater success and well-being. Discovery of this process, reflection to hone its accuracy, and development of efficacy are the steps that each individual must undertake independently.

Although your own path is unique, the principles involved are universal and can be learned from others. A goal of Movers Mindset is to bring these principles to light in an accessible way that encourages discovery and reflection while demonstrating and promoting efficacy in each individual. While you still have to walk the path on your own, under your own power and by your own effort, Movers Mindset hopes to make the path a little clearer.

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Sharpen the saw

It’s preserving and enhancing the greatest asset you have–you. It’s renewing the four dimensions of your nature: physical, spiritual, mental, and social/emotional. … “Sharpen the saw” basically means expressing all four motivations. It means exercising all four dimensions of our nature, regularly and consistently in wise and balanced ways.

~ Stephen Covey

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You can’t fool your body either

I also can’t fool my old friend Hormesis, and rust never sleeps.

Walk distances. Lift heavy things. Move in mysterious ways. (She does!) Ask your body to try something new. Remind your body to try something old.

Jerzy Gregorek said something—which I feel is profound—about, “your first body,” and your second body. I’m definitely understanding what he means these days. The first fifty, this thing was pretty responsive; Handled pretty good in the corners, stopped well in slippery conditions, got terrible mileage, but could haul firewood.

Now? …not so much. But that’s fun too.

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You can’t fool your mind

You can’t fool your mind.  It’s an expert on your current personal management system, and it knows whether you can be trusted to look at what you need to at the appropriate time.  It knows if you’ve decided what the next action should be. And it knows if there is a reminder of that action placed somewhere you will actually look, when you could possibly take that action. If you have not done any of that, your mind won’t let it go. It can’t. It will endlessly keep trying to remind you of what to remember. The mind is a loyal and dedicated servant, but it needs to be given the jobs it does well–not the ones that it mismanages.

~ David Allen from, Ready for Anything

…and yet I try all the time. Fortunately I’ve gotten much better at capturing my thoughts.

The important part, the hard part—one might even say, “the trick”—is to have regular and sufficient time to review all the things I’ve captured. Do I really want to read that book that piqued my interest? Do I really want to try that new recipe I found? Do I really want to go to the trouble of adding that new electric outlet in the dining room?

I see too many people with no way of capturing their thoughts, and I see very few people who have a habit of regularly assessing what they want to be doing.

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A happy body

I’m pushing 50 and the challenge of getting enough physical activity into the day is, well, a serious challenge. My biggest challenge though is my unhealthy relationship with food, and my self-imposed stress. But, I’ll set those later two aside for another day.

Today I want to talk about a neat little program by Jerzy Gregorek, (who’s known as the “Lion of Olympic weight lifting,”) called the Happy Body Program. I’d been toying with this program for over a year, before I got serious a couple months ago.

In his “Happy Body” book, Gregorek has a very direct and simple way of defining, measuring and working towards a happy body — meaning one that is basically fit — in the sense of fit for living. There’s a companion poster)—it’s pricey but rather useful to put the entire program up on your wall.

Every morning starts with me doing about 20 minutes of mobility work, followed by Tracy and I running through Happy Body. Currently, we’re working our way up in the number of circuits it calls for, but it’s easy to do and as quick as real work can be.

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The humble sand timer

Over the years I’ve experimented with many forms of time management. One that works well for me—and I’ve heard this from others—is to work in a mixture of Pomodoro sprints, combined with open-ended deep work sessions. Combined, I mean, in the same day; A some-of-this and some-of-that approach.

Unfortunately, Pomodoro sprints don’t work for me with a “hard” timer. I’ve tried various timing apps on my computer and phone, and I’ve tried a digital countdown timer on my desk. (This cube timer is a nice one.) But I always find the firm interruption frustrates me. No matter how polite or subtle the alert, I’m annoyed by the interruption.

The solution is the humble sand timer. (Here’s a nice set.) Standing quietly, it is unobtrusive. Eventually, it has run out—but it remains patiently waiting for me to stop working. “No rush to stop Craig, but when you find a good spot, it’s time to move to the next thing.”

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Synergize

What is synergy? Simply defined, it means that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. It means that the relationship which the parts have to each other is a part in and of itself. It is not only a part, but the most catalytic, the most empowering, the most unifying, and the most exciting part.

~ Stephen Covey

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Rafe Kelley: Hero’s journey, practice, and self transformation

How can movement practices, particularly parkour, serve as tools for self-transformation and personal growth?

Rafe Kelley dives deep into his thoughts about the hero’s journey and it’s relevance to parkour. He shares his own journey and research into parkour and movement, finding meaning in practicing, and why he trains in nature. Rafe discusses parkour’s power as a transformative practice, the spirit behind it, and what makes it unique.

What parkour does is it provides a mini hero’s journey that can be approached over and over again in your training sessions.

~ Rafe Kelley (3:23)

The conversation explores the idea of using movement practices, particularly parkour, as a means of personal and psychological transformation. Parkour is likened to a mini hero’s journey, where practitioners confront challenges, overcome fears, and grow through deliberate practice. The discussion goes into the concept of combining elements from martial arts, natural movement, and mindfulness to create a holistic approach that transcends mere physical skill, addressing deeper aspects of human growth and connection.

The narrative extends into the philosophical underpinnings of movement, discussing how metaphors and embodied cognition play crucial roles in shaping our understanding of life and self-improvement. Insights from mythology, evolutionary anthropology, and cognitive science are woven throughout, emphasizing the importance of integrating physical practice with psycho-technologies. This integration seeks to cultivate wisdom, foster resilience, and inspire meaningful transformation.

Takeaways

The hero’s journey in movement practices — Parkour serves as a repeated framework for experiencing and mastering the hero’s journey through physical challenges.

Embodied cognition and metaphor — Movement reflects and informs our mental processes, revealing how metaphors and physicality shape our understanding of life.

Evolve Move Play framework — A structured approach combining parkour, martial arts, mindfulness, and natural movement to foster self-transformation.

Cultural insights into parkour — The origins and evolution of parkour reveal its potential to act as a transformative practice beyond mere athleticism.

Wisdom versus intelligence — True growth lies in applying intelligence to cultivate wisdom, balancing physical and mental development.

Psycho-technologies in practice — Practices such as meditation, play, and storytelling integrate to enhance personal growth and wisdom.

Resources

Evolve Move Play — Rafe Kelley’s organization focusing on integrating movement practices with personal transformation.

Awakening from the Meaning Crisis — Lecture series by John Vervaeke exploring the loss of wisdom traditions and the pursuit of meaning.

Breaking the Jump — Julie Angel’s Book exploring parkour’s history and philosophy.

Metta Meditation Guide — Explanation of the loving-kindness meditation practice discussed.

Njáls Saga — A classic Icelandic saga referenced for its stories of physical feats and heroism.

(Written with help from Chat-GPT.)

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Telling the story better

The Movers Mindset project is challenging for me. I have a large number of pieces in place. I’ve discovered many different interesting questions to explore, and I’m well on my way to digging in to find some answers. I’ve created something which I wish I could have found many years ago, early on in my journey.

And yet, I haven’t found many people who see value in the project. Everyone likes the podcast, but that’s as far as I can seem to get the idea to go.

Here’s what I have so far…

Movers Mindset explores themes like independence, self-direction, and human excellence through podcasts, website content, and a community of like-minded people. In the podcast, I interview movement enthusiasts to find out who they are, what they do, and why they do it; The podcast focuses on the journey of self-improvement and its underlying motivations, as well as movement’s fundamental place in society. On the website we publish free content, (much of it in three languages,) including podcast transcripts, show notes, articles submitted by people, and original content. In the Movers Mindset community I’m looking to discuss everything related to independence, self-direction and human excellence; I’ve started discussions on how to make the Internet work for you, thoughts about social networks, questions and answers about training from athletes, podcast-guest followups, and more.

Feedback on the project has been overwhelming positive. Over the past four years I’ve slowly expanded the project. I’ve changed things along the way, giving the project a new name back in 2018 and recently breaking the podcast episodes into seasons.

How do I do a better job of telling the Movers Mindset story?

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Understanding renewable energy

The reasons why the Green New Deal won’t really work are fairly subtle. A person really has to look into the details to see what goes wrong. In this post, I try to explain at least a few of the issues involved.

~ Gail Tverberg from, Understanding Why the Green New Deal Won’t Really Work | Our Finite World

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You should read everything Tverberg has ever written about energy. I’ve been following her for about 15 years or so, and she is a font of careful, reasonable discussion.

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Depth of learning

Working deep is the answer for me. To be happy, to feel good about myself, to not feel guilty about sucking up my share of oxygen on the planet. I have to get back to it.

~ Steven Pressfield from, Writing Wednesdays: Depth of Work

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I too am drawn to deep work. I wonder if there’s anyone who is not?

But for me, deep work seems to not be enough. I also need deep learning. I need to spend two uninterrupted hours reading something, (perhaps S Ambrose’s Eisenhower, or T Ferris’s Tribe of Mentors,) with stops to copy out quotes, detours to lookup some detail, bookmarking of another author’s work, and so on. My mind is one large pressure-cooker, and I need to regularly vent the pressure, pop the lid and jam new stuff in before sealing it back up again on medium heat.

Roughly a quarter of U.S. adults (27%) say they haven’t read a book in whole or in part in the past year, whether in print, electronic or audio form, according to a Pew Research Center survey conducted Jan. 8 to Feb. 7 [2019].

https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2019/09/26/who-doesnt-read-books-in-america/

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Interesting article that digs into who exactly is, and isn’t, reading. Want to change your life?

Read more.

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Podcasts and good old RSS

Once I started seriously listening to podcasts, I quickly reached the point where there are more podcasts, (entire shows, not just episodes,) than I can possibly keep up with. I’m left with the choice between staying subscribed to podcasts where I want to listen to only some of the episodes, or unsubscribing and knowing that I’m missing some gems.

…and then I remember this is all just RSS.

In my podcast player, (which is Overcast,) I now keep only the shows that are my dedicated favorites; shows that I generally listen to every episode. I moved all the other podcasts into my RSS reader, (which is Reeder.) I even added a bunch of shows which I had completely given up hope of being able to even follow them looking for gems.

This had two huge benefits:

First, it improved my podcast listening experience: Not keeping all of those podcast shows subscribed in my podcast player, means less downloading and less skipping. I don’t like having to wait, so I have everything set to pre-download, and removing a lot of podcasts makes a big difference. But even more important, there’s now much less distraction. When I’m in the mood, (or the time, or the place,) to listen to podcasts, I tend to continue listening by default. I’m more likely to listen “just a bit farther” to see if this episode is going to be good, whereas if I had read the summary I might have skipped it altogether. So my podcast listening experience winds up having far more great episodes because it’s just the shows I love.

Second, it actually leads to me finding more gems: When I open my RSS reader, (as I do every day,) I’m in “skimming mode.” I’m looking for things to queue for later reading. (Pocket and Instapaper for the win.) There’s very little effort for me to skim the episode descriptions, and when I find one that looks good I add it to my podcast player. This does require me to switch apps, search, and then add a specific episode. But this small effort helps ensure that the episode is likely to be one I would really like to listen to.

There’s one detail that is a slight snag: How do you find a podcast’s feed URL? We’re all so used to searching in our podcast player apps, but you need the actual podcast feed URL to add it to your RSS reader. You’ll discover that none of the podcast player apps, and none of the directories, (Stitcher, Google, Apple, etc.,) make it easy to find the shows’ underlying podcast URL. The easiest way to do it is to use the handy search on James Cridland’s, Podnews.net (no relation/benefit to me.) It pulls the show’s information from the directories, and explains all the details about that show’s configuration including a handy RSS link icon that has the URL.

So, unpacking this idea a bit more, with some visuals we have…

Feedbin

If you don’t already have a favorite RSS reader, the easiest way to start is to use a web site which will corral all your RSS subscriptions. It will show you a nice web front end with all your feeds together. Later, if you want to run a dedicated RSS reading application on your phone or computer, any of the good ones will let you say, “I have my subscriptions in Feedbin,” and boop! you have all your feeds: Feedbin.

RSS in action

Here’s an example of what it looks like when I encounter an updated podcast feed in my RSS reading application.

Here’s the “stream” of RSS items. Sorry, I have the font size on my phone super-huge; so this only shows a few items. But the first one, under “Today”, is from a podcaster friend’s show.

 

Touching it leads me to the full RSS item’s view. Exactly what you see in this view depends on exactly what each RSS feed chooses to include.

I’m still not on the web here—still simply looking at the data in the RSS feed.

 

At this point, my brain goes, “oh yes! David put out his next episodes!” Let’s see what he’s written up… (swiping left) I get an in-app web browser view of the item from his web site.

I could even press play, right here, if I had 11 minutes.

If this were an episode I wanted to listen to—in my “I’m listening to podcasts” mode, as I described above—then I’d flip over to my podcast app and search for this episode and add it to my listening queue. In reality, it’s even easier: My podcast player app remembers the shows I’ve listened to before, so I can just touch the show, scroll to the episode and hit ‘download’ for later listening.

You can keep an eye on a LOT of podcasts this way—looking at their descriptions—without piling up more in your podcast player than you can possibly listen to.

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Seek first to understand, then to be understood

You’ve spent years learning how to read and write, years learning how to speak. But what about listening? What training or education have you had that enables you to listen so that you really, deeply understand another human being from that individual’s own frame of reference?

~ Stephen Covey

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Territorial, not hierarchical

It has to be territorial, not hierarchical. Meaning real success comes from the inside out, not the outside in. Real success is the process, not the product. It’s what we would do if there were nobody else in the world, yet it depends in the end on everyone else in the world. The essential expression of our art is that of a gift. We draw from that which is most ourselves–and then offer that essence to our fellow travelers on this planet, to help them, entertain them, show them they’re not alone … asking nothing in return (well, maybe enough to pay the rent, we hope.)

~ Steven Pressfield

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This is a classic that has nothing at all to do specifically with writing. If you are involved in creating anything, you will find this is a great article with a long list of elements of success. (“Elements of Success” is his title.) After you read this, you should run—not walk—and get a copy of his book War of Art; you can thank me later.

Anyway.

The paragraph above really spoke to me. The idea that “success is the process” is something I keep losing hold of. Like a swimmer who keeps forgetting that kicking effectively and continuously is a necessary part of staying afloat and getting there, I keep forgetting that the process is success and I begin to struggle.

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Fifty years ago: ARPANET was born

Many realize that 50 years ago, on October 29, 1969, the first message was successfully sent over the ARPANET, which eventually evolved into the Internet. But few know the story that led up to that message.

~ Leonard Kleinrock, from The First Message Transmission

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The Internet as we know it today was really born in the early 90’s. I remember when web sites—”The Web”—was invented. I was a graduate student in Physics back then. There used to be a web site at UIUC where someone kept a list of all the web sites. (People would email them when they added a web site to the Internet.) I used to check that site every day—and get excited on the days when a new web site had appeared.

…at least, that’s how I remember it. ;)

Anyway, great little read about some of the people who started it all, and the very first message across the Internet v1.

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Rebecca Brightly: Parenting, gender, and representation

How do personal experiences with movement practices and societal dynamics shape an individual’s perspective on gender roles, personal growth, and parenting?

Rebecca Brightly discusses the changing dynamics of going from Lindy Hop to motherhood and unpacks her parenting philosophy. She explains why she tolerates parkour and how the gender dynamics contrast with her experience in dance. Rebecca gives her thoughts on gender representation and why she wants women to see how capable they are.

My philosophy is overcoming challenges is what helps build self-confidence. In fact, my opinion is that overcoming challenges is the only thing that builds self-confidence.

~ Rebecca Brightly

Rebecca shares her journey transitioning from Lindy Hop to motherhood and then to parkour, reflecting on how each phase shaped her perspective on community, personal growth, and gender dynamics. She describes the challenges of navigating a dance community that lacked family inclusivity and the complexities of balancing parenthood with her passion for movement. Rebecca contrasts her experiences in Lindy Hop, which often adhered to traditional gender roles, with parkour’s individualistic approach, finding liberation in the absence of physical imposition.

Throughout the conversation, Rebecca goes into broader themes of societal expectations and personal empowerment. She explores how parenting intersects with her belief in the transformative power of overcoming challenges and discusses her observations on how gender norms impact training environments. Rebecca’s insights highlight the importance of fostering self-confidence through resilience and adaptability, as well as the value of introspection in breaking down mental barriers.

Takeaways

Parenting philosophy — Overcoming challenges is central to building self-confidence in children.

Transition from dance to parkour — Rebecca finds parkour’s lack of physical imposition more tolerable than traditional partner dancing.

Gender dynamics — Different training environments expose contrasting expectations and emotional expressiveness in men and women.

Societal expectations — Women face societal pressures to maintain appearances that conflict with physical activities like parkour.

Community and inclusivity — Parkour offers a more inclusive environment, fostering unique connections across gender and skill levels.

Personal growth — Addressing internal fears and societal norms helps break mental barriers to progress.

Resources

Seattle Bouldering Project — A climbing gym where Rebecca’s daughter trains competitively.

Parkour Visions — An organization offering parkour training and community events.

(Written with help from Chat-GPT.)

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I am the crowd

This moment of forgetting always begins with a thought that you’re somehow different, morally speaking, than the rest of the crowd. That guy didn’t signal when he changed lanes. I always signal. That car could’ve made the light—I would’ve been quicker. I am always very efficient with overhead bin space.

~ David Cain, from You Aren’t In the Crowd, You Are the Crowd

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It’s been a long time since I‘ve gotten upset about crowds (of any sort.) But there was a time when stuck in traffic, or held up by a crowd, etc. really pushed my buttons.

Now I just feel sympathy for everyone who is in the crowd, (as I am as well,) but who doesn’t yet realize it.

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Think win/win

Most people tend to think in terms of dichotomies: strong or weak, hardball or softball, win or lose. But that kind of thinking is fundamentally flawed. It’s based on power and position rather than on principle. Win/Win is based on the paradigm that there is plenty for everybody, that one person’s success is not achieved at the expense or exclusion of the success of others.

~ Stephen Covey

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Renunciation

Renunciation is one of ten trainable qualities known traditionally as the paramis (the others being generosity, resolve, patience, morality, effort, insight, loving-kindness, equanimity and truthfulness).

~ David Cain, from The Joy of Opting Out

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This feels—perhaps—like a more nuanced version of my, “just say no to everything,” theme for 2019. That may should harsh, but it’s not. I say, “yes,” to many many things. When I try to say, “no,” to everything, I end up saying, “yes,” to only one-many things.

I’m not a Buddhist by any stretch of the imagination. So I’m not about to take up the paramis as an explicit practice. But the idea of actively renouncing things gives me a positive practice; something I can actively do, rather than something I have to avoid doing.

If you have an elephant problem, “don’t think of a pink elephant,” isn’t going to help. “Just say no,”—despite it’s possible utility as a drug use prevention program—isn’t working very well for my problem. So instead, “think of flowers,” works better for the elephant problem.

So maybe, today I can practice keeping space.

Also…

The solution is simple and difficult.

We can turn it off.

If it’s not getting you what you need or want, turn it off for a few hours.

~ Seth Godin from, https://seths.blog/2017/10/the-engine-of-our-discontent/

Hear! Hear! …and, once more, louder for those in the back!

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Naomi Honey and Melissa Way: Women’s experience, societal impact, and unsolicited advice

What can be done to better understand and improve the experience of women in parkour?

Naomi Honey and Melissa Way discuss the importance of women’s experience in parkour, what that means, and how society impacts it. They dig into the unicorn syndrome, the polarization of genders, and how community leaders can help get more women involved. Naomi and Melissa tackle why women’s only events are important, how to create a welcoming environment, and their experiences with unsolicited advice.

I really remember when I was younger, I always thought my arms weren’t skinny like some people’s— oh, it just sounds so ridiculous, but I remember I had that in my head as a benchmark. And then suddenly when I was doing parkour, and when I got my first pull up, it was so exciting. And then suddenly I had a new measure of, oh my God, who cares what they look like? Look what they can do!

~ Naomi Honey (15:00)

The conversation focuses on the experience of women in parkour, emphasizing the unique challenges they face, from differences in physical progression to societal expectations around physical ability. There is discussion around how women’s-only events create supportive spaces that counteract feelings of intimidation or isolation, helping women find community and confidence.

Another key theme is the mindset shift from focusing on aesthetics to valuing functional strength and ability, which parkour uniquely encourages. This change contrasts with societal pressures around appearance, which often disproportionately affect women. The issue of unsolicited advice is also explored, highlighting how it can be well-intentioned but often carries different implications for women, sometimes reinforcing negative stereotypes rather than offering helpful insight.

Takeaways

Progression differences — Women often experience slower physical progression than men in parkour, which can affect confidence.

Mindset shift — Parkour promotes focusing on what the body can do, shifting away from aesthetic-based self-worth.

Role of community — Women’s-only events foster supportive environments that promote sustained engagement and confidence.

Polarization and visibility — The lack of visible female practitioners can create a sense that parkour is not for women, limiting participation.

Impact of unsolicited advice — How advice is given and received differs by gender, with women often facing additional scrutiny or unwelcome input.

Resources

Flytality — Naomi Honey’s life coaching business focused on helping people make life changes.

Project Awesome — A London-based fitness group promoting fun, community-driven exercise.

Women’s International Parkour Weekend (WIPW) — An event aimed at increasing female participation in parkour through community-building and workshops.

(Written with help from Chat-GPT.)

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