If you do the job in a principled way, with diligence, energy and patience, if you keep yourself free of distractions, and keep the spirit inside you undamaged, as if you might have to give it back at any moment— If you can embrace this without fear or expectation— can find fulfillment in what you’re doing now, as Nature intended, and in superhuman truthfulness (every word, every utterance)— Then your life will be happy. No one can prevent that.
~ Marcus Aurelius
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“We often see it discussed in relation to attachment and social-related behaviors, including empathy and bonding,” says Lily Brown, PhD, Director of the Center for the Treatment and Study of Anxiety at the University of Pennsylvania. But it’s a lot more than a fleeting chemical high. Oxytocin is a hormone that functions as a neurotransmitter in the brain. It’s thought to be a driving force behind attraction and caregiving, and even controls key aspects of the reproductive system, childbirth, and lactation.
~ Alexandra Owens, from Tell Me All I Need to Know About Oxytocin
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I regularly have conversations with people. I am fascinated by how the privacy, exclusivity of attention, and close proximity of a good conversation works. There’s magic— deep seated, ancient, evolution-driven, psychological and biological affects—in a good conversation.
The other day, I stumbled over a post mentioning the hormone Oxytocin being produced by eye contact. I wanted to leave a link for myself, and perhaps you’d be interested too.
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How do personal and professional experiences influence the creation and impact of a podcast?
The intersection of public speaking, coaching, and podcasting reveals unexpected insights into connection and authenticity.
I almost feel like that crowd of people is always with me…while I am also carrying a community, if you will, or a sense of community that is bigger than me.
~ Nikki Lerner (2:20)
The conversation explores how experiences as a public speaker and minister have influenced the transition to podcasting. Nikki reflects on how addressing a live audience of thousands contrasts with the intimacy of podcasting, where speaking directly to one imagined listener fosters deeper connections. The sense of community created through both mediums is central, as is the challenge of conveying authenticity and vulnerability through audio.
The discussion also highlights the practical and emotional challenges of podcasting, from overcoming perfectionism to embracing the iterative process of creating content. Insights from a coaching relationship inspire the speaker to launch their podcast, emphasizing the significance of consistency and self-acceptance. Stories of audience impact demonstrate how podcasts can serve as valuable resources and tools for building relationships and fostering engagement.
Takeaways
The transition from live speaking to podcasting highlights the shift from broad communication to intimate connection.
The iterative process of podcasting fosters personal growth and message refinement.
Coaching conversations can provide pivotal encouragement to overcome perfectionism and take action.
The longevity of podcast episodes creates opportunities for sustained and unexpected listener impact.
Authenticity in audio conveys nuances that are difficult to replicate in writing.
Podcasting serves as a resource for professional practice and client engagement.
Listeners value content authenticity far more than technical perfection.
Creating generously allows the audience to connect with and derive meaning from the work.
Resources
Varian Brandon – A mentor whose impactful podcast series “Becoming” discusses personal growth and engaging one’s environment.
Mr. Rogers Movie – Referenced in the context of an impactful culture-related story shared on the podcast.
Scott Perry – A coach whose guidance encouraged the podcast launch.
Nikki Lerner’s web site — including links to her podcast, Culture Coach
(Written with help from Chat-GPT.)
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That I matter, that my life demands the ceaseless attention I give it, is exactly what those genes would have any organism believeing, if that organism was evolved enough for belief. The will to survive evolves, in a higher creature like us, into the will to matter.
~ Rebecca Goldstein
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Our feelings aren’t the problem. It’s our relationship to them.
~ Amber Rae
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The podcast episode, Consistent, Current and Context-driven, is a scant 5 minutes and 43 seconds long. You’ll probably want to pause and take some notes. After it widens your eyes, go revisit your copy of Getting Things Done—or omgbecky buy a copy, …how do you not own a copy?
Everything I have ever accomplished is because I have systems within which I can think and operate; our brains are for having ideas, not for remembering things [such as: to-do lists, dates, reminders, etc.]
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How do individuals decide what to share with others, and what strategies are effective for meaningful communication?
The conversation explores the interplay between offering help and withholding it to foster personal growth.
Anything that, sort of, gets you out of the rigidity of pattern is what lights you up.
~ Joe Boyle (17:50)
The conversation explores the complexity of communication, focusing on the tension between offering and withholding help. It examines whether sharing insights is always beneficial or if the onus lies on others to ask for guidance. This perspective ties into the idea that readiness and willingness to seek knowledge often dictate the effectiveness of learning.
The discussion transitions into topics of self-reflection and change, emphasizing how beliefs are often challenged in specific contexts rather than in abstract terms. It also touches on the importance of balance—between consuming information and creating opportunities for others to learn through subtle cues or “Easter eggs.” Personal practices, such as quieting the mind to enhance focus and creativity, are highlighted as valuable tools for personal growth.
Takeaways
Readiness to inquire — Personal growth often requires individuals to take the initiative to ask questions.
Sharing versus withholding — The decision to share knowledge or insights depends on the readiness and openness of the recipient.
Role of failure — Failure is a critical component of the learning process.
Balancing consumption and creation — Leaving subtle hints or “Easter eggs” can foster meaningful exchanges without overwhelming others.
Reframing the urge to help — Changing the motivation behind sharing from seeking approval to genuinely fostering others’ growth.
Rigidity and creativity — Breaking out of patterns can reignite energy and inspiration.
Self-assessment through beliefs — Challenging one’s beliefs can be a tool for intellectual and personal growth.
Mindfulness in decisions — A quiet mind enables better decisions and creativity.
Resources
David Belle — Reference to a story involving him and his father Raymond, emphasizing the importance of asking questions to gain insights.
Edo Portal — Mentioned as a source of inspiration or guidance in certain contexts.
(Written with help from Chat-GPT.)
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Attitude puts apptitude on steroids. Attitude is the soft stuff, but when the chips are down, as they so often are, it’s the soft stuff that often counts.
~ Peter Guber
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I spend a lot of time trying to imagine people’s experiences of things I create. Partly that happens as a direct result of my having empathy and being compassionate—once you start, you can’t stop. (“My mission is creating better conversations to spread understanding and compassion.”) Sometimes my efforts pay off big with a blinding flash of clarity.
I’m regularly doing outreach to people who know me well, a little, or often not-at-all. I’m inviting someone to join me, for a recording of a conversation… which I’m going to immediately publish, without editing. It turns out that scares the crap out of most people. (Are your palms sweating just thinking about it?)
Well, I solved that problem a while ago: When we’re chatting, before we start recording, I explain there’s a safety net. They get the option to veto. I explain that after we stop recording, I will ask them if they’re okay with what we recorded. If they’re not happy, it just gets deleted. And I’ll still be happy because the conversation we had becomes that much more special because I got to experience something that no one else will ever hear.
Today it occurred to me that I should explain that even farther up front. Like right up front on the invitation page that I send people to. If your palms were sweating up there, thinking about being recorded, consider this…
Safety net
After we stop recording, you decide if I publish it. Seriously. You get a big, safe, veto option. Published or vetoed, I’ll still be glad we had a chance to have a cool conversation.
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Writing itself makes you realize where there are holes in things. I’m never sure what I think until I see what I write. And so I believe that, even though you’re an optimist, the analysis part of you kicks in when you sit down to construct a story or a paragraph or a sentence. You think, ‘Oh, that can’t be right.’ And you have to go back, and you have to rethink it all.
~ Carol Loomis
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What if, instead, we could be flexible and travel through life lightly, flowing with changes?
~ David Cain from, Staying Light & Flexible While Traveling
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You should interpret that sentence both in the physically traveling without too much physical stuff, and in the sense of traveling without too much mental baggage.
Traveling lightly—both without physical stuff and without mental baggage—will serve you well. Over the years, I’ve tried to explain my thinking around these points via blog posts: One series on physical practicalities and tips is, Travel Gear. And, another series about the mindset of traveling is called, Parkour Travel.
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It would be wrong for anything to stand between you and attaining goodness—as a rational being and a citizen. Anything at all: the applaus of the crowd, high office, wealth, or self-indulgence. All of them might seem to be compatible with it—for a while. But suddenly they control us and sweep us away.
~ Marcus Aurelius
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If you find yourself in a fair fight, you didn’t plan your mission properly.
~ David Hackworth
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This isn’t an intention. It’s a recap of what someone wants to get done, but it does not serve the function of engaging others in a way that will lead to action.
~ Angie Flynn-McIver from, “Intention” Doesn’t Mean “Agenda”
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I know what Angie’s intention is. And I try to think about my intentions as often as possible.
How about you?
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I took personal, public responsibility. I apologized profusely and repeatedly. I did the best I could to make things right. And most important, I relearned a lesson I thought I already knew: Never compromise your integrity. It’s all you have.
~ Strauss Zelnick
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*sigh* It’s been one week of 2022 and despite my best efforts, I’ve already got far to much on my to-should pile. Sometimes it’s fun to grab a biggish goal and just hard-charge up that hill. Sometimes though it’s wiser to just move something to the to-don’t list. But there is an immense disconnect between what I can get done in a day, and where I feel I’ve gotten enough done at the end of the day. It’s as if I’m running from something… or desperately towards something. memento mori
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The great majority of that which gives you angst never happens, so you must evict it. Don’t let it live rent-free in your brain.
~ Peter Guber
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Often I play the fool when I rush in to help. My bias to action, combines with my curiosity-driven desire to resolve problems—or at least understand what went wrong—and in I rush. “Don’t just stand there. Do something!” If unchecked, I’ll be found, still lecturing on obscure tech and sharing crazy stories, and hour later.
I’m always trying to rein in that behavior. “Don’t just do something! Stand there.”
What’s the simplest thing that could possibly work? Is a solution actually being asked for, or am I simply imagining I could be useful?
There are endless problems I will never even know about. What, actually, is wrong with leaving alone a few problems I do know about?
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I have often regretted acting impulsively when I am feeling angry or frustrated. Now, when I feel that familiar urge to respond defensively or say things I don’t really mean or bang out a wounded response via email or text, I wait. I force myself to breath, take a step back, and wait to respond. Just an hour or two or an overnight retreat makes a world of difference. And if all else fails, I try to obey this message I got in a fortune cookie: Avoid compulsively making things worse.
~ Debbie Millman
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I had a nice dinner conversation the other day wherein someone asked me to send them more information about Stoicism. I went looking for the perfect blog post to share, and couldn’t find one. So this is now it. ;)
There’s like a thousand things I could share. Don’t get snowed under by this stuff; Don’t try to read/do all of this…
The book I suggest starting with is The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday. This is a good book to just pick up each morning, spend 2 minutes reading, and move on.
If you want to read something which specifically explains Stoicism, I recommend A Guide to the Good Life: The ancient art of Stoic joy by W Irvine. This is an easy read that covers what the ancient Stoics wrote, and how their philosophy can be adapted to modern times.
There’s a good podcast interview with Irvine on a podcast called Philosophy Bites. It’s short episodes (~half hour) where the host and a guest talk about one topic in Philosophy. (There are ~500 episodes.) Irvine’s episode is a great introduction to what is Stoicism.
William B. Irvine on Living Stoically
If you want to read blog posts, my site has a tag for Stoicism. The posts are going to be widely varied, and have lots of links to other things, (as well as all my posts being tagged to lead to other things within my blog.)
You can also dive into some people who sometimes write explicitly about Stoicism but whose work is just generally good to read. Here are links to the corresponding tags on my web site. You can skim/scroll/page through my blog posts to find an interesting place to jump into these other spaces…
David Cain writes a web site, Raptitude.
Leo Babauta writes a web site, Zen Habits.
Enjoy!
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