45 minute meetings

Meetings always expand to fill the available time. Therefore, first be sure that the meeting has a goal and when the goal is achieved, the meeting is done. Second, things often go faster and better when there is a known deadline. To this end we almost always set an end time when scheduling a meeting.

But we usually pick one hour for a meeting’s duration. Then we try to schedule back-to-back meetings and are surprised when everything turns into a flurry of rushing to the next meeting… that meeting that starts at 4, right after the meeting that ended at 4. This never works.

Schedule all your meetings to be 45 minutes. Magic happens.

Everything gets done in the 45 minutes—or if doesn’t, you had far too much packed into your usual one-hour meeting—and you have time for the rest of your life between the meetings.

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Tyson Cecka: Obstacles, artistry, and depression

What drives the creation and refinement of spaces and objects for parkour, and how do personal and communal experiences influence this process?

Tyson Cecka unpacks his design process, how he began to build parkour obstacles, and where he finds inspiration. He discusses his current plans and goals, and explains why he doesn’t consider himself a great artist or creator. Tyson shares his experiences with depression, how it’s affected his life, and how he’s working through it.

Failure should be a lesson. If you’re doing your trials correctly, every failure would be a lesson that you could then apply going forward.

~ Tyson Cecka (5:12)

This conversation centers on the intersection of creativity, movement, and mental resilience. Tyson discusses how his initial interest in parkour evolved into designing and building obstacles, driven by necessity and a desire to refine and optimize solutions for movement challenges. He explains how his creations are deeply informed by observing others and learning from failures.

The discussion also taps into broader themes of community influence, personal struggles with depression, and the balance between maintaining control over spaces and embracing organic creativity. Tyson reflects on the importance of spaces that allow for exploration and adaptation while highlighting the iterative process that shapes his work and life philosophy.

Takeaways

Experimentation in parkour design — Tyson emphasizes the importance of iterative trial and error in refining obstacles to meet diverse movement needs.

Community influence on creativity — Coaches and students play a significant role in inspiring new designs and approaches to obstacle construction.

The emotional impact of movement spaces — Tyson discusses the deep connections formed with specific training locations and their significance to personal breakthroughs.

Resilience through failure — Each failure in design or execution is viewed as an opportunity to learn and improve future projects.

The intersection of art and functionality — Tyson frames his obstacle-building process as a blend of artistic vision and practical application.

Mental health and its influence — Tyson shares his struggles with depression and how it has affected his work and approach to life.

Creating spaces for preservation — There is a focus on ensuring the longevity and availability of spaces where parkour can thrive, safeguarding the discipline’s future.

Adapting to personal growth — Tyson reflects on shifting his mindset and embracing change as part of his evolution both as a designer and individual.

Resources

Parkour Visions — Nonprofit organization focusing on creating parkour opportunities and safe spaces.

STURDYmade — Online community and resource hub for parkour builders and enthusiasts.

Art of Retreat — An annual event that focuses on movement, culture, and coaching discussions in the parkour community.

(Written with help from Chat-GPT.)

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Someone has to be the first guinea pig

This entry is part 4 of 4 in the series The interviews from my perspective

Adam McClellan / Episode 1

The story behind episode one is challenging. How much do we want to know? How much do we want to share about the birth of the podcast? That all plays into Episode One. I picked Adam as the first guest because I wanted a guinea pig. I had bought a Zoom recorder and some microphones and cables. There’s a guy who did our audio editing for the first two years, and I had sent him some test audio files just to verify that when I press “Record” it does what we think it does.

I had been training with Adam for years, so I approached him and said, “Hey, I’m thinking about starting a podcast. You want to sit down and have a conversation?” In hindsight, I now realize it takes a lot of chutzpah to actually say, “Okay, I’ll sit down with microphones,” but he was totally up for it. I said, “I need a guinea pig. I’m going to screw it up, and I want you to just be game for a radical F-up.” And, sure enough, now I realize the zeroth rule of podcasting is always press “Record” and then double-check that you’ve actually pressed “Record.” These days we actually have a system, because sometimes it still happens. The person who sits in and listens actually takes notes and uses the time codes from the recorder. So you have to actually look at the recorder, and if the timer isn’t running, we know that I haven’t pressed “Record.”

So, of course, when I sat down to record the podcase with Adam, we started right into it. I had looked at my watch and noted the time when we started, but 13 minutes into it I looked at the recorder and realized the recorder wasn’t recording. I said, “Hey, Adam, remember when I asked if you’d be a guinea pig because I’m going to mess it up? I messed it up. We’re not recording.” So then I pressed “Record” and we started over.

In hindsight, I’m really glad I fell on the sword on the first episode, because it taught me to be humble about when I screw up in a recording. If we’ve gone down the wrong path or I ask a dumb question, I immediately own up to it, like, “Whoa, we screwed this up,” or “You know what, that fire engine went by and screwed up your answer.” It taught me a lesson right out of the gate about being humble about the physical craft part of podcasting, because we really only get one chance. If the take that we get isn’t the greatest … It’s our responsibility to present the guest in their best light, and if there’s something wrong with the take, we need to own up to that. So that was the technical side of the first episode.

Tracy was helping at the time and doing some guest research. We had done a bunch of research on Adam and I had even written out some questions. Looking back now, I realized that writing out all your questions is the right thing to do, although I don’t do it now. But what I should’ve then done is crumpled up the list and thrown it away and gone into the interview with nothing between me and the guest. I had a piece of paper—actually, I think I had my computer. I realize now that, yes, you want to think of the questions, but then you also want to just try and forget them.

I stuck to the script with Adam and it worked out well. Adam is very good at talking and finding a thread, but I really wasn’t helping him very much by providing him with a conversation. That’s one of the things that I realize now is really important for guests, especially some guests who are a little more reticent to talk—not just to have the recording equipment and be able to create the physical space, but to create a conversation between myself and the guest where the guest is interested in continuing to talk.

With Adam, I served him these individual questions tennis-style and then asked a follow-up question or made a comment while he was answering. I pretty much just let him run on his train of thought and then I would present him with the next question. The episode is interesting though. The material is good; it still holds up three years later. But I can hear that it’s just me serving him simple questions. I love listening to it occasionally, because it reminds me of how the way that I craft the story that the narrative in each episode is vastly different, which is just a result of me listening to other people’s podcasts and listening to how people structure them, how the craft works, taking courses, and things like that. So that’s a bit of the technical and a little bit of in front of the mic.

There is a moment in that episode pretty early on where I mention an essay that Adam wrote. I don’t know how we found it, but we had come across this essay on the internet that was actually from Adam’s entrance application for college. I said, “Elsewhere you’ve written about … ” and named a couple of things that were in the essay, and it really made him do a double-take. He said something like, “Wow, you really, really dug at me. I kind of wrote that satirically. I don’t know how you ever found that. I need to go look at my social media to see where I had that online that I had forgotten about.” It was a fun moment where I had caught him off guard and at the time I thought, “Oh, that was interesting.” It took me a while to learn this lesson, but, looking back, I realized that just because I have information that’s interesting or even something a little bit controversial about a guest doesn’t mean I actually want to use that.

I’ve found that it can be hard sometimes if I know too much. You can’t forget something, it’s always going to be in the coloring of your questions. But if I know too much and I say, “Hey, I know about this,” that can really change the tone of the conversation. It can be too big of a gun to bring into the conversation. A lot of times it’s more fun to just know all these things about the guest and then to ask them a leading question to give them the opportunity to bring it up if they want. And then if they choose not to, the conversation just flows where they want.

Sometimes I feel more like I’m trying to create rapids in a river and then see how they whitewater raft down what I’ve created. It’s more like creating opportunities. “Hey, I have a couple of these obstacles and we’d like to roll them into the path. You want to go over this one or do you want to go over that one? Or you can go through the open field.” It took me a long time – maybe 50 interviews – to really figure out what I need to bring in, in terms of knowledge about the guest. 

Sometimes there are things that the audience needs to know about because they’re just so awesome and the guest is just going to be too humble and, I’m like, “I’m sorry we have to talk about this because it’s awesome.” But a lot of the time, the things I know about the guests don’t really need to be brought in. It’s just background that helps me color what we’re talking about. So that first interview really went amazingly well considering how I just leapt into it like, “What could possibly go wrong?” There’s a lot that can go wrong, but it really, really well.

I would say the greatest lesson I learned was having nothing between me and the guest. It took me a while to really learn the lesson to literally not put things between me and the guests because I continued doing that for several episodes, but that was the only interview where I showed up with a script or list of questions. I had an idea about how the whole interview should go and that, in my opinion, does not work. It certainly doesn’t work for the way that I do interviews and the way the podcast works.

You can totally think about how you want it to go, but don’t bring that plan to the actual interview. Don’t attempt to lead the guest to a particular place that you have in mind. That was the takeaway. I didn’t learn it immediately after Episode One, but that lesson is there in that first episode. I would say it’s probably in the first six episodes, because there’s some things that changed with seven – it became a lot more nimble at seven and beyond. I think that’s the biggest takeaway: Don’t go in with a preconceived idea of where the conversation is going to go.

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2020 vision

I often known when a bad joke or a terrible pun is coming. My confession is that I really enjoy that feeling of knowing there’s going to be a terrible groaner in… 3… 2… 1…

Except that in today’s case, I already wrote it.

”2020 vision.” As in, “20/20 vision.”

You’re welcome! Go start beating all your friends over the head with “insightful” comments about having 2020 vision for the coming year.

In other news: 2019 was the year I started using reading glasses. My past track record of prognostication and beginning-of-the-year vision statements, combined with my vision deteriorating… nope, lost it, I feel like I had something clever to say here. But no, it too is decagon.

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CRM’ing your friends and family

This is daft… wacky… but possibly so brilliant, that I want to share it.

I’m seriously considering put all my friends and family into a ‘customer’ relationship management (CRM) system. Wait, don’t block me just yet…

*unfriend*

You see, for many years now, we’ve been sending out Christmas and Holiday greetings to an increasingly large list of our friends and family. Large. List. Growing. It takes days of shopping and stamp obtaining and writing and sealing and then a special trip to the post office for the sub-set of cards that need to go by AirMail overseas…

…and as I do each card, I think, “oh!” And a bunch of stuff I want to share, say, ask, etc. for that person/family/whatever pops into my mind.

So all I really want—the reason I’m considering CRM’ing all these nice people—is a something that will suggest one of these contacts… well, I’m not going to say how many how often I’d need to do… at certain intervals. Then I would be able to write a note or an email or make a phone call…

Because the other option would be to convert the “holiday” cards into “yo wats up” cards and just make a stack and do them throughout the year. :)

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Thoughtfully giving and receiving decisions

Decision fatigue is a well-known effect. I’ve long since learned to be mindful of when I am going to encounter this, and to take steps to avoid or reduce it. There’s a paradox where I used to want the option to make decisions, while not having the energy to make good decisions.

Also long ago, I started intentionally reigning in the urge to have an opinion when a decision is available. I now think, “do I want to have an opinion on this?” and I try to steer myself towards, “no.” There are countless examples, but they most often fall into, what I’ll call, refinements. This is when something is happening, and it is happening because I’m following someone’s lead. Our culture encourages that leader to solicit opinions; I’m presented a dinner invitation, but asked, “where would you like to eat?” These refinements come in a huge variety, but usually, that leader had an idea in mind when they set the ball rolling. These days, whenever I can, I don’t add an opinion to the mix.

I’ve gotten really good at not having an opinion. In fact, I’ve realized this is now a problem. Everyone is so used to people complaining—about everything; the movie, the food, the traffic—that they assume I too am going to complain later, after going along with their choice.

Each of us needs to practice giving the gift of making thoughtful choices for others. Each of us needs to practice accepting those gifts graciously, (up front, and during and after without complaint.)

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Tis the season

I like paying for my software when I’m buying it from a company that’s responsive, fast and focused. I like being the customer (as opposed to a social network, where I’m the product). I spend most of my day working with tools that weren’t even in science fiction novels twenty-five years ago, and the money I spend on software is a bargain–doing this work without it is impossible.

~ Seth Godin from, On paying for software

slip:4useoa1.

Tis the season… to talk about paying for the things we get value from. Last year Seth wrote that great gem about software and I whole-heartedly agree.

Here’s a short list of a few pieces of software which I gleefully pay for, without which everything I do would be vastly more difficult or outright impossible: Hover, BBEdit, Hindenburg, Overcast, Reeder, Feedbin, Tower, Transmit, OmniFocus, OmniOutliner, iaWriter, Discourse, Basecamp and Front.

As a bonus round, here’s a short list of a few online services or publications which I also gleefully contribute to, because they provide me with magnificent information that makes my world a better place: Brain Pickings, Müvmag, PodNews, Once is Never, and WikiPedia.

My challenge to you for the holiday season: Post your own lists somewhere public, and share the love for the software and services that make your life better throughout the year!

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Is movement an integral part of my life?

It certainly is an integral part of life, in general. But the vast majority of my life does not involve movement. I probably move more than the average American my age. I certainly moved a lot more in my 20s when I had a job that involved doing things. (Make this, move that, go over there, etc.) But today, movement is something that—I don’t quite have to make time for it, but I definitely have to be mindful of it. I generally plan to do something every day. Usually that’s a multi-mile walk, a leisurely bike ride, an hour wrestling with firewood, etc..

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US Parkour Association (part 3 of 4): Funding model, membership voices, and next steps

What are the challenges, structures, and opportunities involved in building and maintaining a transparent, community-driven national governing body for Parkour?

Membership dues directly support a transparent, nonprofit structure designed to empower the Parkour community.

This conversation goes into the structure, purpose, and vision of the United States Parkour Association (USPK), a nonprofit organization aiming to unify and support the Parkour community. It discusses the unique governance model involving committees and Special Interest Groups (SIGs), emphasizing the grassroots nature of SIGs as member-driven initiatives addressing both internal and community-specific challenges. Transparency is a cornerstone of USPK’s operations, with open financial reporting and an inclusive process for member contributions to decision-making.

The discussion also touches on the challenges of convincing individual practitioners and skeptics to join the organization, highlighting the importance of proactive involvement to ensure Parkour remains community-led. Broader topics include potential external threats, such as legislative actions by industries like CrossFit and Coca-Cola, and the role of public perception in shaping Parkour’s future. The conversation underscores the urgency of building a robust membership base to drive the organization’s efforts and sustain its mission.

Takeaways

Membership dues — Funding for USPK comes primarily from membership fees, ensuring direct community investment in its initiatives.

Transparency commitment — The organization prioritizes transparency through open financial reports and clear communication with members.

Special Interest Groups — SIGs are grassroots initiatives that empower members to address diverse challenges and innovate within the Parkour community.

Committee structure — Committees focus on specific issues such as build standards and competition, ensuring organizational goals align with community needs.

External legislative threats — The discussion highlights threats from industries and legislation that could negatively impact Parkour’s autonomy and accessibility.

Community involvement — The importance of collective action and shared responsibility in shaping Parkour’s future is emphasized.

Public perception — Outreach and education can positively influence how the public perceives Parkour practitioners.

Grassroots energy — The conversation stresses leveraging the passion of individual practitioners to drive the organization’s growth and impact.

Membership growth — Building a strong membership base is critical for long-term sustainability and influence.

Unified direction — Advocating for aligning individual and collective goals to protect and advance the discipline of Parkour.

Resources

USPK Official Website — Provides information about the United States Parkour Association and membership opportunities.

(Written with help from Chat-GPT.)

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Before dawn

I’m not sure if it’s the silence, or the darkness. Maybe it’s the fact that pre-dawn there are two kinds of people, those who are sleeping and those who are up attacking their day and I prefer to be the later. (Although, it’s a physical fight with my body every morning.)

There’s a time and place for most everything. Writing, for example, seems best done in the early morning. Vacationing seems best done at the end of summer. Hard labor seems best done in one’s 20s.

I wonder when is the best time for introspection?

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What do you do for fun?

It’s the holiday party season! (At least, on my continent it is.) From late November into January, it’s a pleasant parade of parties and fetes.

“What do you do [for work]?”

omfg could we please stop asking each other this question. My stock reply is, “as little as possible.”

Instead, could we start asking each other questions which actually start the process of getting to know each other? …questions whose answers would actually help us remember each other? …questions which elicit some story or some passion or something other than, “I file TPS reports.”

Let’s start asking:

What do you do for fun?

What’s something you’re passionate about?

What’s something new or exciting in your life?

What are you most proud of from the past year?

…and if you want to really get to know people:

What’s something that’s currently challenging you?

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§24 – Recovery Days

This entry is part 36 of 37 in the series Study inspired by Pakour & Art du Déplacement by V. Thibault

In certain circles it is said, “what was once your workout will become your warmup.” In my journey of rediscovering activity and play, there was a long period—20 years now, perhaps—where I was able to focus primarily on growth, forward motion, and transformative change. This made for a very long period where my workouts did gradually became my warmups. Certainly I’ve always had rest days; nearly 10 years ago, when I started parkour, it was all I could manage just to recover over the course of the entire week before heading back to the next hard training session. Rest and recovery were always in the mix, simply because I began my journey of transformative work in my 30s.

I’ve found it increasingly challenging to remember the importance of recovery now that I’m no longer shoving the needle of progress ahead day by day. Truth be told, I’m squarely on the mid-life plateau and it is time to take life more freely. Sure, the days of working every day for seven years on the house, climbing mountains, jumping on stuff, and doing things which cause police officers to say, “…and you sir, how old are you? You should know better!” are not over. (As far as I can tell.) But these are also, certainly, the days where spending a couple hours, every day, sitting still reading and writing is truly blissful.

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Artificial constraints

A lot of my thinking, and sometimes even my problem solving, revolves around juxtaposition. What would the inverse of the current this be? Can I gain useful perspective from the other position? Big/small, loud/quiet, perfuse/sparse, etc.; there are many obvious qualities that create striking changes in perspective. However, I find particularly rewarding juxtapositions in unusual dimensions, and there’s one dimension in particular that pays off more than all others: Time.

Have a problem? …how would I solve it if I had 100 years? …what would have to be the case if I were going to solve it in 5 minutes?

It’s become common to talk about “minimum viable product” in the entrepreneurial space, and that’s a form of time constraint. (But it’s a useful idea because it also includes other constraints such as resources and people.)

The famous Getting Things Done system has many critical components. One in particular is paying attention to the next action for any given project. (And in GTD everything you do in your entire life is a ‘project’.) This too is a form of time constraint; it’s not, “I’ll move this project forward at some point in time,” (the perspective of unlimited time,) rather it’s, “if I was going to move this project forward in the next minute…”

Where in your life might a shift to expectation of greater or lesser time yield a huge benefit?

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Creating an administrative day

Once I reached a point where most of the administrative and maintenance things were under control, I found that I had a steady stream of small things to do every day. Certainly, having things organized saves time, but things still need to be done—I can’t organize and optimize everything to zero-time required. The next step was to grab a trick from time-blocking: Set aside a chunk of time to focus on those administrative and maintenance tasks in one long go.

I’m not going to bother you with which day of the week I picked. The point is simply that I have a day—the entire day—set aside to do all the things that must be done. Laundry, occasionally changing the house air filters, stacking firewood, scheduled appointments (if I can get them on that day), banking and bookkeeping, special errands and shopping trips for home repair items, and on and on. The point is that I’ve moved all the things which feel like they aren’t directly related to my goals and aspirations—although obviously they are directly related, they just don’t feel related—to one place; one big block of time; the admin day.

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Goals versus aspirations

A distinction I’ve been making in recent years:

A goal is something specific. It will be clear when the goal is achieved. For me, goals should always be the classic specific, measurable, actionable, relevant, and time dependent, sort of SMART goals.

An aspiration is something directional. It will be clear when progress is made in the direction dictated by the aspiration.

The more goals I set, the worse my life becomes. I set great goals… big challenging, self-stretching goals. They pile on like dead weight and drag me down. Lose 10 pounds. Read an hour a day. …and so on.

Aspirations, being open-ended, don’t feel so daunting. Provided the aspirations lead to actual action, then I don’t need to worry about tomorrow. I can simply do the things—today, now—which are guided by my aspirations. Be someone who moves. Be exposed to lots of fresh ideas. Be someone who helps others. Be someone who creates value. Be someone whose mind works well.

What aspirations do you have?

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Where you put your mind

There’s a hard-won lesson I learned about getting things off of my mind. If my mind is stuck on something I need to deal with that immediately. Sometimes I still make the mistake of just doing the whatever, to resolve the thing on my mind. But that’s my artificial urgency problem kicking in, and I continue working to avoid that. No, by ’deal with’ I mean simply: Figure out what it is that is making that thing stick in my mind, do the thinking required to figure out the next action, and capture it somewhere not in my mind.

What’s on your mind right now that you could write down/capture outside of your head which would then free your mind for having ideas, rather than using it to try to store ideas?

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Brandee Laird: Creating experiences, usefulness, and poetry

How can one integrate personal growth, creativity, and leadership to inspire and connect with others?

Brandee Laird discusses many things, including the recent Art of Retreat, being an introvert, and card manipulation. She shares her coaching philosophy, influences, and creating experiences, and reflects on the role of usefulness in her practice. Brandee explains how she handles dark moods, strives to expand her skill sets, and even recites some of her own poetry.

[T]hey end up feeling connected to me by the way I’m doing it and the way I’m presenting myself. But really, it’s whatever tactics and techniques, whatever tools I’m giving them. Whether it’s a game, mess with a partner, or we’re all doing something together, it’s really designed to give them a sense of not being alone in the endeavor. Because parkour is something that we definitely do alone. But we do it alone, together.

~ Brandee Laird

Brandee Laird explores her multifaceted approach to personal growth, movement, and coaching. She discusses how she crafts unique experiences for her students to foster connection and engagement, emphasizing the balance between challenge and joy in her teaching philosophy. Through her reflections on the Art of Retreat, she shares how creating environments for personal and communal elevation has inspired her practice. Additionally, she explains her methods of navigating introversion and dark moods, offering insights into building resilience through creative outlets like poetry and physical movement.

The conversation also dips into the philosophy behind her work, such as redefining parkour as an obstacle-based discipline and expanding its scope to emphasize utility and community impact. She highlights how integrating compassion, creativity, and leadership can elevate both individuals and groups. Her personal anecdotes, such as teaching meditation and ninja skills at a summer camp, reveal her commitment to cultivating meaningful experiences that inspire transformation in others.

Takeaways

Creating impactful learning experiences — Experiences should combine skill acquisition with emotional engagement for lasting impact.

Navigating introversion in leadership — Introverts can consciously generate energy to inspire and lead others effectively.

Growth through discomfort — Embracing challenges leads to personal and communal transformation.

Parkour as a universal practice — Parkour’s adaptability and inclusivity make it a unique discipline with global community connections.

The role of creativity in resilience — Poetry and storytelling provide emotional outlets and foster deeper personal reflection.

Expanding parkour’s scope — Teaching parkour with a focus on utility and values can transform communities and lives.

Balancing joy and suffering in practice — Sustainable training includes both rigorous challenges and moments of lighthearted exploration.

Resources

Brandee Laird @monkeemoves

Opportunitrees (YouTube) — Brandee’s personal parkour video journal capturing moments of happiness and creativity.

Parkour Visions — Organization promoting parkour as an inclusive, community-driven discipline.

Art of Retreat — Event fostering connection and learning within the movement community.

The I Ching — Ancient Chinese text used for guidance and introspection.

(Written with help from Chat-GPT.)

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Lose no time

I suspect some people need to cultivate a sense of urgency to motivate them. I need less motivation. I need less urgency.

I managed to create a life where my perception is that every waking moment I’m either on-task or off. Every waking moment is either doing something that moves me towards my goals, or a moment of relaxation and unwinding—self-care practices so to speak. (Of course, there’s another third of my life when I’m asleep.)

It’s perfectly obvious that there is no such thing as work versus life balance. There’s just life. Some moments I’m doing this thing. Some moments that thing. Some moments resting my eyes. Some moments eating. Some moments interacting with this person. Some moments with that person. Many moments I’m alive.

The only way it would make sense to talk about work versus life… I don’t mean work, defined as when money is changing hands. I mean work as in efforts spent progressing towards a goal. The only way it would make sense to talk about work versus life balance would be if I were two—or more—different people; the work me and the life me. I can readily see how that could be a thing. I can see people who do that, or at least they try to do that. It’s completely obvious when people try to be one person in work contexts and another for themselves. I’m not sure I ever tried to do that. I’m sure that I don’t want to do that.

There’s just me. There’s just life. I need to catch myself making a distinction between work and life. That would be a moment, earlier than where I’m currently trying to solve my problems, where I might have more purchase.

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What would it be like?

I have a list of daily reminders that I cycle through. This one came up this morning and, as always, it bears repeating:

Add padding to everything. Do half of what you imagine you can do. We tend to cram as much as possible into our days. And this becomes stressful, because we always underestimate how long things will take, and we forget about maintenance tasks like putting on clothes and brushing teeth and preparing meals. We never feel like we have enough time because we try to do too much. But what would it be like if we did less? What would it be like if we padded how long things took, so that we have the space to actually do them well, with full attention? What would it be like if we took a few minutes’ pause between tasks, to savor the accomplishment of the last task, to savor the space between things, to savor being alive?

~ Leo Babauta from, 8 Key Lessons for Living a Simple Life

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Where I am, there’s a winter storm coming later today. It’s the end of the world. People rushing around. Grocery stores picked clean. Flurries of communication about, “have you heard…,” and, “is this thing cancelled?” It’s like this every year; not just the first winter storm, but every storm.

The crazier it gets, in general, in life, on the roads, in the markets, online, the more I feel like, “meh.” Tempest in a teapot. All the world is but a stage, and all that. On any given day, there are things I want to do and I set about doing them.

What do you want to do today? Have you allocated time to do that well?

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Mindless or mindful?

Have you noticed how often we all repeat what we say?

Too many people simply begin talking at another person, before having obtained their attention. This happens all the time! Once you start to notice it, it’s everywhere.

Too many people aren’t paying attention. Although, I suspect it’s partly in response to too many people [and computers and phones and our entire culture] clamoring for their attention, that they’ve stopped paying attention as a self-defense mechanism. Withholding attention shifts the default setting of how attention-getting something must be to actually get their attention.

Many years ago we create a house-rule that we would not talk to each other unless we were in the same room. It took a long time until it became the norm in our house. No shouting from one room to another with a question, or an order. How often do things like, “Hey, could you…” travel from room to room in your home? Our rule forces us, when I want your attention, to go to you. This puts some actual effort onto me, exactly where it belongs. No one is permitted to call from the living room, “Hey, can you bring me…” because we both know full well we should get up and get it ourselves.

Settling into that rule was tough. But part two was far harder. Improving the other side of the exchange: that of the person who is being interrupted, even if it is ever so politely, by a demand for attention. Having reached a point where we each travel to the other, (the first part,) we then had to learn to treat the arriving person with respect, (the second part.) For example, when I’m knee-deep in computer work and she arrives, I had to learn to pause from my work and turn my full attention to this person who is vastly more important than anything happening in my computer. Frankly I’m still working on this.

After a few years of all of the above, I noticed my attention was becoming a much sharper tool in my interactions out in the world. Some of this was surely due to years of martial arts training, but much of the change was due to my intentional practice described above.

(Then I realized just how much of my attention my phone was demanding, and I fixed that shit right quick. Then I threw my participation in social networks under the bus.)

Now, I see countless examples of mindlessness any time I venture out into the regular world. But I also see examples of mindfulness! They’re not as common, but some people I encounter are awake. Some people I encounter are interested and interesting. Some people’s presence make the immediate area a better place.

Which are you, mindless or mindful?

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