Author: Craig Constantine

Constraints

May 1, 2024 · All posts on May 1

There are two roads to my destination: Addition or subtraction. If I imagine something I want to achieve, my habit and instinct is to imagine what I’m going to do to get there. That’s the additive approach. But sometimes it would be easierā€”in fact, sometimes it is only possibleā€”to get there by removing impediments.

I love that question to ask yourself when youā€™re troubleshooting failed attempts at personal change: Why am I not doing this thing already?

~ Brett McKay from, Why Arenā€™t You Doing It Already?

slip:4uaoca11.

It’s quite startling, but that question works. Always. (And that question is closely related to: It is not a priority.)

ɕ

Recognizing

April 29, 2024 · All posts on Apr 29

There is a phrase I like to trot out: “Any day at the crag.” And you need two details for this to make sense: First, that a crag is any outdoors place where one goes to climb rocks. Second, the part left unsaid is that any day at the crag is better than any other day. Thus, any day at the crag. Yes, despite the litany of things that normal people would list as negatives at the crag.

To be clear, by ā€œappreciateā€ I donā€™t mean ā€œenjoyā€ exactly, although you might also enjoy the experience. I mean ā€œrecognizing the unique or worthy qualitiesā€ of the experience itself: the texture of it, the aesthetics of it, the heft of it, the heat of it, the poetry of it, the poignancy of it ā€” whatever strikes your sensibilities when you pay attention to whatā€™s happening.

~ David Cain from, Appreciate What Happens, as a Rule

slip:4uraae2.

And yet, despite that litany, the density of “if this isn’t nice, I don’t know what is” moments is much higher, any day at the crag. Dappled sunlight. A cool breeze in the shade. A view. Friends. Food tastes better. Sleep is less troubled. You don’t have to climb (or go to a crag), but you do have to find your something.

ɕ

What systems are in place?

April 28, 2024 · All posts on Apr 28

Finish this sentence: I am the sort of person whoā€¦

Hereā€™s a different way to look at it, one that we can broaden into an insight about adult decisions about where to work, where to live, who to hang out with. There are two parts:

Are the people this place attracts the sort of people I want to spend time with and become more like?

Is the system that is in place here one that pushes and cajoles and processes people to become more like the kind of person Iā€™d like to be?

~ Seth Godin from, On choosing a college

slip:4useoo1.

Not everything needs to be planned out, pre-visualized, processified, done-defined, and OODA looped. However, having mastered those things, it is massively empowering when things go sideways, off the rails, and get set back. Having mastered those things, I know I can always begin anew a slow upward spiral.

ɕ

We create the decision

April 26, 2024 · All posts on Apr 26

The following is a very short blog post. The idea that struck me is that how true it is (!) that we create the decision. Each decision (the root of the word, but also clearly what happens when we decide) represents our choosing to cut offā€”to amputateā€”some thing or things as we create new or renewed focus on some other thing.

This is especially true of the most difficult decisionsā€”the ones where you are taking a risk and simply canā€™t predict the many ways in which it will play out. A useful perspective for the anxiety-ridden late night hours those decisions tend to inspire.

~ Mandy Brown from, Making decisions

slip:4uaowi5.

Truly, I’ve only had to make a handful of actual decisions. And they were really stressful. Right up until the moment when I actually, finally, made a decision. I can’t recall a single time where the post-decision stress or worry was anything at all like the pre-decision stress or worry. It’s almost as if I am the one creating all the stress and worry within myself.

And to be clear: That’s snark. Obviously, I’m the once creating the stress and worry. How about you? Anything you should be deciding so you can relax and move forward?

ɕ

Playing at the edge

April 24, 2024 · All posts on Apr 24

I’m endlessly fascinated with mastery practices. I might, on occasion, go so far as to say that the purpose of life is to pursue some mastery practice or another.

If you learn to play at your edge, you learn to stop shying away from discomfort. You grow and learn in new ways. And you develop a confidence in yourself that is hard to do when you stay in your comfort zone.

~ Leo Babauta from, Running & the Challenge of Pushing at Your Edge

slip:4uzeee2.

Where is your discomfort zone? Are you avoiding that for a reason? Have you truly explored near that edge?

ɕ

The joy of discovery

April 22, 2024 · All posts on Apr 22

I have always loved book stores. All types. All sizes. All manner of [dis]organization. When I was young, each store represented a hoard of tomes I could not even dream of possessing. How many books would I have bought? ā€¦how much money do you have? Literally. The books I did have then became valuable to me. They were precious because I had chosen them for purchase with various allotments I received; Or they were gifted to me making them both surprising and precious. To this day: Mmmmmmmm, bookstores.

Each store has its own way of embracing you, embracing the reader, and creating a sense of the universe expanding. For anybody curious and interested in printed matter, the more bookstores you go into, the more youā€™ll realize how many different ways there are to be curious. That helps us set a foundation to be more knowledgeable about the world we inhabit. The practical and the sheer joy of it.

~ PaulĀ Yamazaki from, Paul Yamazaki on the Important, Joyous Work of Running an Independent Bookstore

slip:4ulipa1.

In more recent years, resources have become available. These days, each time I wander into a bookstore I think: Onceā€”just onceā€”I’m going to clear the rest of my day, and spend it all here in this bookstore, and I’m going to buy every single book that i want. Just to see what that feels like.

ɕ

Just say no

April 21, 2024 · All posts on Apr 21

I like to think that there’s nothing new on my blog. (That’s not a typo.) Rather, this is all just me working with the garage door up. I enjoyed this article from Holiday and it’s wonderful advice, which I need to hear much much more often.

Say no. Own it. Be polite when you can, but own it.

Donā€™t say maybe. Donā€™t give a bunch of reasons (which invite an argument). Donā€™t push it until later.

Say NO.

~ Ryan Holiday from, This is Your Reminder to Say ā€˜NOā€™

slip:4uryti3.

My intention here with 7 for Sunday is to give you interesting things to ponder. Sometimes I worry that I might be making your life worse by enticing you with even more rabbit holes than you’d otherwise stumble upon. This item is a sort of penance then, as I hope you have built up your nope-muscle sufficiently to get through 6 more items today.

ɕ

Onward

April 19, 2024 · All posts on Apr 19

Be sure that you’ve first fully assimilated the idea of ‘no’, above. For if you don’t, you risk the mistake I make of reflexively saying ‘yes’ to the next thing that comes up.

We do it because to stop (or pause) after Project number-1 means we are one-hit wonders. We are dabbling. We are amateurs.

To continue, on the other hand, means we are pursuing our calling as a practice.

~ Steven Pressfield from, Having a Practice

slip:4useha1.

We do, in fact, want toā€”we mustā€”say ‘yes’ to some next thing.

First, master the wonderful, short, complete sentence: No. Second, immediately say yes to the correct, next thing.

ɕ

Wagashi

April 17, 2024 · All posts on Apr 17

It’s nice to find little oases of respite. It doesn’t have to be a Japanese garden, of course. You can find respite nearly anywhere.

In the 1960s, the city of Portland converted an old zoo into a 12-acre garden as part of an effort to promote peace and cultural exchange between the U.S. and Japan. The grounds have been called the most beautiful and authentic Japanese gardens outside of Japan by luminaries like Nobuo Matsunaga, the former Japanese ambassador to the United States. The teahouse, the Umami CafƩ, strives to bring the same authentic flair to their fare. While their grassy matcha and roasted-rice teas are always on the menu, their wagashi changes with the turning of the seasons.

~ Roxanne Hoorn from, The Woman Putting a West-Coast Spin on Japanā€™s Traditional Tea Sweets

slip:4uaaai3.

Even better, you can create little spaces of your own.

ɕ

Good advice

April 15, 2024 · All posts on Apr 15

There are two really important parts to good advice: The advice, and the taking of it.

Head high and [ā€¦]

~ Nick Cave‘s mother, from The Red Hand Files – Issue #14

slip:4uteyo1.

As Cave briefly explains, his mother had previously been a font of advice, but he’d not listened. Or perhaps he wasn’t ready to listen? Either way, I’ve totally nope never nuh-uh not me ever failed to heed words of wisdom from my mother.

What’s that? What advice has she given? I think the best would be her diet book: If it tastes good, spit it out. (That’s the whole book, not the title.) And her mother’s best advice was: Let the young ones do it.

ɕ