Craig Constantine

No phones allowed

December 27, 2018

The no-phones policy illuminated something about smartphone use that’s hard to see when it’s so ubiquitous: our phones drain the life out of a room. They give everyone a push-button way to completely disengage their mind from their surroundings, while their body remains in the room, only minimally aware of itself. Essentially, we all have a risk-free ripcord we can pull at the first pang of boredom or desire for novelty, and of course those pangs occur constantly.
~ David Cain from, https://www.raptitude.com/2018/11/joy-no-phones/

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It has always seemed obvious to me that being focused on a screen, at the expense of the other person, was obviously bad. This used to bother me.

Now, when it happens I check my premises: Am I, right this instant, actually more interesting than the entire world in their hands?

Working hard

December 18, 2018

Not that I’m blaming society for my troubles as a young adult, but nobody ever seemed to have a very good explanation for why I actually might want to work hard and challenge myself. Not “have to”, or “need to,” but “want.” The reason was always, “It’s just something you should do,” or “You’ll be glad you did when you’re my age.”
~ David Cain from, http://www.raptitude.com/2010/02/3-pieces-of-advice-id-give-my-18-year-old-self-if-i-could/

True story: I once got a job working at a golf course as a grounds keeper. I’d bicycle ~10 miles at first-light and my dad picked me up after work. I’d string trim (the entire golf course — wrap your brain around that), edge sand traps (by hand using a machete to cut the edge of the lawn) and then rake the sand. I chain-sawed trees that fell on the course, and I painted wrought-iron in the blazing sun. Every weekday for an entire summer.

I learned two things:

A deep respect for physical labor.

…and that I wanted to go to college and be a scientist working in a lab, or maybe with computers.

Forgotten super-powers

December 12, 2018

Today we use tools without even thinking about it. Without a doubt, you are at this moment surrounded by (and draped in) all sorts of tools, equipment and technology. There are probably at least a dozen items in operation right now that are making your moment much better than it would otherwise be: clothing, writing utensils, computers, chairs, clocks, desks and eyeglasses for starters.
~ David Cain from, http://www.raptitude.com/2010/01/how-to-enjoy-your-forgotten-superpowers/

This is definitely an aspect of my Art du Déplacement, and self-improvement journey. I regularly—almost automatically now—run the train of thought he’s describing and it invariably serves me well.

In early 2018 I attended a winter retreat. On one morning, we all went out to hiking trails along a stream and water falls. It was snowy, cold, icy and sunny. I intentionally went in wool socks and my usual, minimalist running sneakers—with the insoles removed so there’s 2mm of rubber and nothing else between my socks and the world. I intentionally set out expecting wet feet (knee-deep snow in places), and my goal was to manage frost-nip and to enjoy the day. Result: Insane amounts of fun; New friends; Lessons learned; No injury; and I experienced a true winter-wonderland in a way I had never before.

On passion

December 10, 2018

There is a tremendous disparity between the passion and effort that goes into a work of art and the amount a person is likely to pay for it. Some areas pay better than others, and your passion may very well not create much in the way of salable value for anyone else.
~ David Cain from, http://www.raptitude.com/2009/12/what-passion-will-buy-you/

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This is such a critical point! Even if my passion, “comes through,” in what I create, that doesn’t necessarily mean others will value my work.

Worse, there’s always some amount of capriciousness to the valuation made by others. Even if I’m making something clearly of value, if that isn’t aligned with other people’s values, I’m still screwed. Passion is critical, but has little to do with success.

Comfortable

December 7, 2018

We tend to think of home as a specific location — a defined physical space where we feel safe and entitled to be ourselves. But home, like so many other things that profess to be something more concrete, is really just an emotion. “Home” is the emotion of belonging you get from very familiar places.
~ David Cain from, http://www.raptitude.com/2009/12/two-simple-tricks-to-be-more-comfortable-in-your-own-skin/

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Sometimes…
—not always, not often. I’m still a deeply flawed human being who is happy to be a work in progress.

But sometimes people tell me I’m “different” or “intense” because I move more slowly than most people, or I seem [they think I “seem”; I actually “am”] to be paying attention, or I seem [again, actually “am”] to be particularly considerate or thoughtful. Sometimes people find this really unsettling; I’ve had people physically twitch in the process of avoiding my glance. To those people, I’m sorry that a heartfelt glance was too much for you at that moment. (Not sarcasm.) But sometimes, a heartfelt “Hello! How are you today?” is just the thing people need.

Often…
—again here with the caveats.

But often I’m wondering why everyone seems to be in such a hurry. I believe I understand why they are; I’m assuming their reasons are the same as my reasons were. Often I sit down and feel perfectly at home. Often after a bit of post-just-sat-down day dreaming, I’ll have a brief moment of a sort of fully immersed realization that I’m not anywhere remotely near my geographic home. And that just makes it all the more enjoyable to feel at home.

Slow down. Relax.
If things are going badly, relax for they will not last.
If things are going well, relax for they will not last.

Nature’s dominant creature

December 4, 2018

A further unpleasant fact of life: biologists have discovered that the more complex a life form is, the quicker it goes extinct. That hapless cream-puff of the animal kingdom, the jellyfish, rather uncomplicated in form and function, has been around for 500 million years and counting. The average kick at the can, for a complex species, lasts four million years, which happens to be about how long we’ve been around.
~ David Cain from, http://www.raptitude.com/2009/12/natures-dominant-creature/

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This is such a wonderful kick in the complacency.

It’s taken me so much effort just to wrap my brain around the reality of the place of a human life [my life!] in the scale of things. In that effort, one thing I was tempted to fall back on was the crutch that at least a human life is part of the Grand Arc of Human History. Meanwhile, we still appear to be alone in the universe, day by day adding weight to the idea that there’s some sort of hard wall faced by intelligence during its evolution.

Once may be your last chance

November 24, 2018

So it stands to reason that if you want a clean house (or anything else) you have to a) put in the effort to get it there — completely there — and then b) police it for little broken windows. Things sitting out. Tasks that have been ignored once. Duties that have been ducked once. Promises that have been broken once. Twice is too late; you have to start again.
~ David Cain from, http://www.raptitude.com/2009/10/how-to-fight-crime-by-making-your-bed/

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The broken window theory is, in fact, very much open to debate. But setting that aside for a moment.

I definitely have a habit of chasing things down to their root cause on the first instance of trouble. I’m not anywhere close to perfect! But my first instinct is to stop what I’m doing and figure out what that thing just happened. I’m an imaginer of processes. I go around trying to find one solution which fixes two things, or better yet, fixes two things by fixing one and eliminating a second.

Compassion

November 21, 2018

All of these desperate and depraved acts we see ‘bad people’ do, we are all ultimately capable of them too. Under different circumstances, with a different upbringing and different experiences, every one of us could be a killer. But if you got lucky, and that’s not the way it turned out, you might be inclined to put yourself on a distinctly higher plane.
~ David Cain from, https://www.raptitude.com/2009/08/should-we-have-compassion-for-killers/

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I’ve learned to use venom and outrage as indicators. When I taste venom… when I feel outraged… that’s when I redouble my efforts to use my brain and be rational.

I’m not convinced (one way or the other) as to wether it’s even possible to never feel outraged–or if that’s even a good end-goal.

But I am certain that–without exception–if ever I let my outrage direct my actions, I regret it later.

There’s nothing small about the world

November 18, 2018

(Part 66 of 72 in series, My Journey)

Now I realize I was not giving up anything of any use to anyone. The news never really added to my knowledge in any meaningful way. It just added a steady stream of limited and unsubstantiated viewpoints on select issues to my head, which is already full of limited and unsubstantiated viewpoints. The news doesn’t inform you about what’s happening in the world. The news only informs you of what’s on the news.
~ David Cain from, http://www.raptitude.com/2009/06/theres-nothing-small-about-the-world/

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One of the first steps I ever took in turning my life around was to get a handle on my information “diet.” In the beginning, there was TV. I was horribly mistaken in thinking that it was possible to obtain any useful news from TV. (There’s plenty of entertainment on TV if you’re willing to guzzle advertising with it.) Early on, perhaps around ~1993, I realized you could use RSS (and it’s many descendent flavors) to watch [as in, “notice when things are published”, not “mindlessly stare at”] information sources of my choosing.

To build a fire

November 13, 2018

The flame itself has a soothing, mesmerizing effect. So often, the conversation around a campfire hits a lull, and everyone finds themselves gazing into the glowing, crackling bowels of the fire. It seems to say, “Welcome home.”
~ David Cain from, http://www.raptitude.com/2009/08/people-fire/

He also mentions Jack London’s, “To Build a Fire” which you should totally read as well.

Lifelong consistency is impossible

November 9, 2018

When someone is that afraid of being contradicted, they are no longer concerned with the truth, only with protecting their priceless investment in what they have said. To honor a statement you made yesterday as a binding declaration of who you are is a tragic, yet extremely common mistake. This is the fundamental error that plagues humanity: to mistake one’s ego for oneself. Enforcing an impossible, lifelong consistency in what you say and believe can only lead to dishonesty and despair.
~ David Cain from, http://www.raptitude.com/2009/06/4-brilliant-remarks-from-historys-wisest-american/

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When I thought I was basically “done” becoming who I would become, I got bent out of shape over all the problems I saw in the world.

Now that I realize that the only meaningful life is one where I continuously tinker with self-improvement, I see that–just like me–everyone else is on a journey of transformation… wether or not they realize it.

Lessons from Sesame Street

November 5, 2018

You will get hurt. You will embarrass yourself. You will wish you did things differently. You will forget things that are too important to forget. You will lose things you can’t afford to lose.
~ David Cain from, http://www.raptitude.com/2009/07/secret-lessons-from-sesame-street/

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Once more. Louder, for those in the back.

Same purpose, different style

November 3, 2018

While I’m worrying in my little apartment about getting my writing done or doing my laundry, it lends me some perspective if I can remember that somewhere out there, precisely as I’m tending to my human to-do list, there are beavers taking down trees, ants hustling to feed their queen, rabbits feasting on backyard gardens, and elephants showing their children where the water hole is.
~ David Cain from, http://www.raptitude.com/2009/05/same-purpose-different-styles/

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Perspective is a wonderful thing.

In the beginning, a few months of summer vacation represents a significant portion of your life’s memories. Years later, each month flies by. In the beginning, the first project you create is the greatest idea the world has ever been shown. Years later, the projects are too numerous to recall, and the next one is considered with a weathered gaze before being sent out into the world. Challenging physical activities are dopamine-fun in the beginning. Years later, the physicality brings only a pleasant, difuse joy.

Perspective is empowering.

The secret to connecting with people

October 31, 2018

Let the other person have the privilege of being the first one to be understood. The biggest distraction to understanding someone else is self-importance. Needing to say something means you have to be thinking about it, and thinking about it means you have very little mental capacity left for empathy. Free up yours, and it will free up theirs.
~ David Cain from, http://www.raptitude.com/2009/04/the-secret-to-connecting-with-people/

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Empathy is the most useful ability I have ever developed. Sure, I first had to develop my abilities of self-awareness and self-assessment. But at that point, the need for empathy and compassion became plain as day.

Nine thoughts worthy of immortality

October 28, 2018

Deep in the vast, mostly forgotten (yet immediately accessible) archives of the blogosphere lie billions of touching, hilarious and brilliant thoughts that humankind has been stockpiling for years. Here are nine that moved me, with excerpts. Bookmark this if you don’t have a lot of time right now.
~ David Cain from, http://www.raptitude.com/2009/04/9-thoughts-worthy-of-immortality/

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This is not like the think-pieces I’m normally drawn to share. This is literally a list of nine, individual blog posts (from among the billions) which are worthy of being called great writing. These are among the best things humans have ever written.

Seven profound insights from the Beatles

October 25, 2018

While “let it be” is profoundly wise in its own right, the passage above contains an idea even more powerful: we all suffer, and that brings us closer. No matter what differences people have, the one guaranteed common thread among us all is that we know what it means to lose and to grieve.
~ David Cain from, http://www.raptitude.com/2009/04/7-profound-insights-from-the-beatles/

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Over the years, as my hearing has faded, I’ve still always had music. I think–but am not certain–that I appreciate music all the more now that I understand how poor my hearing really is. Sometimes I simply stop and take time to sit and listen. It’s not-at-all amazing that music is closely connected to emotion. It’s not-at-all amazing that emotion is a common ground we all share.

Does Your Story Have This Common Weakness?

October 21, 2018

Another common curse: the belief that happiness cannot coexist with an imperfect world. For you to be okay with your story, do you require any of the following to occur? A crime-free city. A drug-free America. The day corrupt officials see the error of their ways. The end of suffering on earth. World peace. The day everyone starts using their turn signals, and stops mixing up “there” and “their.”

These are tall orders. Certainly worth aiming at, but never worth waiting for.
~ David Cain from, http://www.raptitude.com/2009/05/does-your-story-have-this-common-weakness/

I’ll nitpick and say the following about his opening Indiana Jones story: The fact that Indy closed his eyes and did not look at the contents of the Ark shows that he changed. Instead of his literally ceaseless quest for artifacts, he chose to let this artifact remain unknown to him. That’s why the demons in the Ark spared him.

I digress.

I love that he’s writing about Indy.

…and the rest of this article is even better: So, does your story rely on the “deus ex machina” trope? …since this is reality, how has that bee working out for you so far? I can tell you it didn’t work out for me, so I rewrote the script of my life.

The only resource more precious than time

October 8, 2018

Unlike money, everyone is ultimately on a level playing field when it comes to time. We all get the same allowance of twenty-four hours a day. Just as there are ineffective ways of investing your money, there are ineffective ways of investing your time.

If we all have the same amount of this essential resource, why do some people achieve so much, and others so little? Where we start from — in terms of economic class, skills and education — certainly has something to do with it, but there are just as many riches-to-rags stories as there are rags-to-riches stories, so obviously there is another factor at play here.
~ David Cain from, https://www.raptitude.com/2009/03/the-only-resource-more-precious-than-time/

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I found the realization that it’s really my attention that is my limiiting resource to be both liberating and scary. Liberating because it means that all I need to do is focus my attention and long-term success is within my grasp. Applying my attention, even in short stretches, inevitably leads to progress on my favorite projects. And scary because every time I’m tired, run-down, don’t want to do something– every time, food or the Movie-monster call my name, entertainment or distraction– there are so many opportunities for me to turn my attention away from the things I find valuable.

Letting years go by

October 5, 2018

In fact, I’ve let years of my life go by this way. I could be working on something I truly love, and then I’d hit a snag. I’d get frustrated, then avoid it for the rest of the day. I just wouldn’t want to be frustrated anymore, so I wouldn’t touch it. There’s always later. Perhaps if a better mood came along I’d be willing to tackle it.
~ David Cain from, https://www.raptitude.com/2009/03/protect-your-dreams-from-contamination/

slip:4urapo2.

I’m not sure I agree with how easy it sounds the way he puts it. But he’s dead on with the point.

Here’s another spin on it, the late, great, Jack Vance as Curly.