Relationships that don’t scale →

Published July 6, 2018  ·  All posts on Jul 6  ·  

These people are, effectively, hiding behind a wall. They are passing up more difficult work for the easy work — sharing or “liking” photos, retweeting, commenting on someone’s wall. These are activities which can serve a purpose, but they are poor substitutes for the real thing. It’s like saying Splenda is the same thing as sugar, tofu is the same thing as real meat, or Red Lobster is a good place for…a red lobster. It’s not the same thing. Not even close.

~ Brett McKay from, How to Build Meaningful Relationships | The Art of Manliness

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There is a fine line between using social media (and other technology conveniences) to increase the number of people I can keep up with. Dunbar’s Number is often pegged at about 100 or a bit more. I definitely agree that there’s a trade off between how many people I can maintain relationships with and the quality of each relationship. I find the hardest part is when a relationship gets asymetric — when the other person isn’t able to commit as much time — eventually it’s time for me to stop putting in the effort; Eventually it’s time for me to stop trying, and instead to let another person settle into the social space in my universe.

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One tongue →

Published July 4, 2018  ·  All posts on Jul 4  ·  

Nature has given us two ears, two eyes, and but one tongue – to the end that we should hear and see more than we speak.

~ Socrates

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Real-time chat →

Published July 2, 2018  ·  All posts on Jul 2  ·  

I believe attention is one of your most precious resources. If something else controls my attention, that something else controls what I’m capable of. I also believe your full attention is required to do great work. So when something like a pile of group chats, and the expectations that come along with them, systematically steals that resource from me, I consider it a potential enemy. “Right now” is a resource worth conserving, not wasting.

~ Jason Fried from, «https://m.signalvnoise.com/is-group-chat-making-you-sweat-744659addf7d»

Certainly there are situations where real-time chat is the right tool. But I think real-time chat is the rare case.

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When it gets hard →

Published June 29, 2018  ·  All posts on Jun 29  ·  

The road to success is through commitment, and through the strength to drive through that commitment when it gets hard. And it is gonna get hard and you’re gonna wanna quit sometimes, but it’ll be colored by who you are, and more who you want to be.

~ Will Smith

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Advice on losing weight →

Published June 26, 2018  ·  All posts on Jun 26  ·  

Truth be told, if I really wanted to help people lose weight I would increase the price of Eat Stop Eat to 100 dollars per book. Far less people would buy it, but those who did would be invested heavily in making a change in their lives. They wouldn’t just read about fasting and weight training, they’d actually practice it.

~ Brad Pilon from, What Do You Do When A Friend Asks You For Advice On Losing Weight? – Brad Pilon’s ‘Eat Blog Eat’

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Call it wisdom– Call it Imposter Syndrome— whatever. The more I learn about health, the more I’m convinced I know nothing.

For me, the solution to my unhealth was to change my life. Not, “more exercise,” but “rediscover moving.” Not, “eat better,” but “listen honestly to my body.” Not, “lose weight.” — there’s no, “but…” on that last one; The weight loss just happens the more I change my life.

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What is health? →

Published June 25, 2018  ·  All posts on Jun 25  ·  

But as the saying goes, the darkest hour is just before dawn. At some point during this “dark night of the soul,” I realized that the depression and despair I was feeling was the direct result of comparing my actual experience with an idea of what I thought my experience should be. I saw that I was striving for an ideal of health that was—at least at that point—unattainable, and that this was the cause of most of my suffering.

~ Chris Kresser from, What is Health? | Chris Kresser

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This idea is right at the heart of my experience of the last few years.

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Rise to the work of a human being →

Published June 24, 2018  ·  All posts on Jun 24  ·  

In the morning, when you rise unwillingly, let this thought be present: I am rising to the work of a human being.

~ Marcus Aurelius

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Tulip subsidies →

Published June 22, 2018  ·  All posts on Jun 22  ·  

But the solution isn’t universal tulip subsidies. Higher education is in a bubble much like the old tulip bubble. In the past forty years, the price of college has dectupled (quadrupled when adjusting for inflation). It used to be easy to pay for college with a summer job; now it is impossible. At the same time, the unemployment rate of people without college degrees is twice that of people who have them. Things are clearly very bad and Senator Sanders is right to be concerned.

~ Scott Alexander from, Against Tulip Subsidies | Slate Star Codex

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Don’t be distracted by the Sanders reference. This article stands just fine three years later.

It raises what I think is a really good idea: What if employers were NOT allowed to ask about post-primary education degrees? So just as an employer cannot judge you based on your skin color, they could not judge you based on some letters and a school name. INSTEAD, they would have to judge you based on your ability. Suddenly, the only value in those letters and the school name [to the potential student] would be the TRUE VALUE AND QUALITY of the education. At the same time, anyone who can match that quality of skill/knowledge — regardless where they got it — would be equally considered.

Make. This. Happen.

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On depression →

Published June 21, 2018  ·  All posts on Jun 21  ·  

Unfortunately, the “chemical imbalance” theory continues to be the dominant paradigm for understanding depression nearly 30 years after this profound discovery, despite the weak correlation between serotonin, norepinephrine, and dopamine and depressive symptoms.

~ Chris Kresser from, Is Depression a Disease or a Symptom of Inflammation? | Chris Kresser

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I’m sure I have nothing useful to add on the topic of Depression– being not a doctor, psychologist, etc.

But I can raise my voice because I believe I understand the personal experience of depression. It sucks. Talk to someone.

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Adulting →

Published June 20, 2018  ·  All posts on Jun 20  ·  

One of the most unfortunate tendencies of an adolescent culture is the impulse to fit everything into black and white narratives. Narratives themselves aren’t the issue; in fact, psychologists say that being able to view your life as a story is a key component to mental health and happiness. And as we’ll come to see, being able to imagine yourself as an actor in that story – a kind of hero’s journey – is one of the most important ways of achieving an awesome adulthood. No, it’s not narratives per se that are problematic, but ones that are overly simplistic and one-dimensional.

~ Brett McKay from, Life Advice From Winston Churchill | The Art of Manliness

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The entire piece is good, and it goes in a certain direction: It’s attempting to provide guidance and direction to young men as they transition (or try to transition… or try to NOT transition…) from childhood to adulthood.

The take-away for me was a meta-lesson that applies from the adult point of view: I should not judge young men-to-be by my adult standards. Adolescents who are trying to create their story– trying to navigate their journey– are going to do things and act certain ways. That’s not a problem, nor is anything wrong. It’s part of a natural and normal story arc. The question and judgement from me should be, can I help? Can I be of guidance? Can I at least be an example, either through my level of adulting, or through my overt efforts at reaching higher levels of adulting?

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