Charlotte Miles: Motivation, emotional recovery, and purpose

What motivates someone to engage deeply in coaching, creativity, and physical training, and how do personal struggles and life experiences shape this engagement?

Charlotte Miles shares her motivations for coaching, why it’s important to her, and how it fits into her life. She digs into more difficult topics; energy and emotional recovery, personal struggles, and her experiences with mortality and grief. Charlotte discusses how parkour affects her life, her definition of success, and finishes with real life superpowers and finding purpose.

Being strong, there is no frame of reference for that. There’s no ‘I once was’ and so there’s no return. It’s a completely new thing. It’s a blank canvas. And that can be as scary as it is exciting.

~ Charlotte Miles (15:00)

Charlotte discusses her work as a coach, filmmaker, and movement enthusiast, reflecting on how physical training intersects with personal growth. She describes parkour as a therapeutic practice that forces her to confront fear and emotional barriers, emphasizing that her biggest obstacles are often mental rather than physical. Charlotte highlights the unique space women occupy in strength and conditioning and the importance of encouraging curiosity and strength in female athletes.

A significant part of the conversation explores mortality and how Charlotte’s personal experiences with loss shape her sense of urgency and purpose. She shares how storytelling and coaching allow her to uncover powerful messages within others and transform them into impactful narratives. Charlotte speaks candidly about balancing her intense work ethic with the need for rest, acknowledging the challenges of being emotionally open and the importance of staying present.

Takeaways

Training and curiosity — Emphasizing curiosity over performance allows for personal growth and encourages women to explore their physical potential.

Mortality and urgency — Experiencing loss reshapes priorities, fostering a mindset that values immediacy and essential tasks.

Storytelling as impact — Creating resonant, emotional stories can drive deeper personal and societal change than surface-level entertainment.

Fear in parkour — Mental barriers often limit physical capability, with parkour acting as a mirror to confront deeper personal fears.

Coaching intensity — Leading others into intense physical and emotional spaces requires equal responsibility to bring them back to stability.

Self-awareness and solitude — Balancing energy through solitude and movement helps manage the emotional demands of coaching and creative work.

Resources

Iron Heart Studios — Charlotte Miles’ media company focused on storytelling and film production.

Parkour Generations — Organization where Charlotte manages creative direction and media.

Barbell Shrugged — Podcast and strength and conditioning brand Charlotte collaborated with.

Going Right — Logan Gelbrich’s’ book on pursuing passion and purpose over conventional paths.

Women’s International Parkour Weekend (WIPW) — An event focusing on women in parkour and strength training.

(Written with help from Chat-GPT.)

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Real satisfaction

Real work and real satisfaction come from the opposite of what the web provides. They come from going deep into something—the book you’re writing, the album, the movie—and staying there for a long, long time.

~ Steven Pressfield

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How do you create culture?

I’ve become increasingly interested in how culture is created within teams. One part is clearly modeling the behavior one wants to see. But I’ve been spending time thinking about how I talk to others about goals, challenges and setbacks. The more I look, the more I see I’m faced with so many interwoven elements: Communication—synchronous, asynchronous, mixed?; Feedback—positive, negative, immediate, delayed, public, private; Goal setting—team, individual, conservative, challenging, insane; Growth; Trust; Shared vision; Shared mission; Morals …

I find myself focusing almost entirely on communication. I try to spend as much time as possible explaining what I’m thinking and what my goals and visions are. At the sametime, the better I get at asking questions, the better I get at understanding what’s going on. There’s a balance. Too little conveying of direct instruction and concrete goals leaves some people struggling to grow. The opposite is also true; Too much and some people are stiffled.

“Curiouser and curiouser,” said Alice.

So what’s a question you ask your teammates that has led to surprising insights?

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Change is not a commodity

[C]hange does not take technology, it takes courage. And, this is why change is not a commodity. Change is not easy nor is it formulaic. But I can say this with the utmost conviction, change is inevitable and it is yours to define.

~ Brian Solis, from «https://www.gapingvoid.com/blog/2012/03/28/it-takes-courage/»

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If you want to affect change you must first understand which sorts of changes are difficult and why.

On the one hand, things change all the time. A great definition of “old age” is when you begin to lament the inevitable changes to the specific things you prefer in your supermarket. On the other hand, affecting a change that you desire feels extremely difficult. (Go try to bring back your favorite brand of mustard after the manufacturer has discontinued it.)

On the one hand, there’s a huge array of things I can change easily: My shirt, the book I’m reading, and the lane I’m driving in. On the other hand I quite honestly struggle changing my physical body, my bad habits, and my addictions.

On the one hand, changing thousands of minds at once is easy: Give me a few orange cones and I can make everyone change their mind about always driving on the correct side of the road. On the other hand, it seems impossible to get people to do the correct thing, when they are waiting to turn left at a two-way stop sign, and I arrive opposite them intending to go straight.

On the one hand, millions of people have been convinced to spend their time on social networks. On the other hand, try convincing just one of them to disconnect.

Sometimes a piece of technology is enough to change everything and everyone. Sometimes no piece of technology seems powerful enough to get it done. Sometimes a tiny idea spreads like wildfire, and sometimes the mindless mob wins. Sometimes people are swayed by emotion, and sometimes they make choices based on logic. Sometimes change is objectively good, sometimes it’s objectively bad, and sometimes it seems too complicated to decide.

The important question is: What sort of change do you want to attempt?

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§22 – The forty-eight other guys

This entry is part 34 of 37 in the series Study inspired by Pakour & Art du Déplacement by V. Thibault

Understanding community has always been a challenge for me. The first key understanding was that “community” is just an abstract concept; A community does not exist in the world as a concrete thing I can point to, touch or clearly delineate. Instead, when asked to explain community, I list things which I feel identify a community: its persistence, members’ unifying or common interests, having a focus in a specific physical or online space, etc. But when I really start digging in, it’s all simply interpersonal connections, behavior, communication, expected norms, shared identity, etc.. If that’s true, then functional interpersonal communication is necessary for the creation and continued existence of a healthy community.

My question these days is: What is sufficient for the creation and continued existence of a community?

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Antler-locked

Today, it’s alarmingly easy to find yourself antler-locked with some remote, faceless person who’s trying to tell you that universal healthcare is a communist plot, while you’re waiting for your potato to finish microwaving. This facelessness turns up our impulse to argue even more. You may have noticed it’s a lot less pleasant to argue with someone when you can see their eyes.

~ David Cain from, The Art of Letting Others Be Right

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I find it, in fact, so unpleasant to argue with people that I’ve effectively given up the effort entirely.

The first phase comes of self-reflection once you think you might—at least some of the time—be wrong. The second phase comes when you realize that your sometimes-wrongness might apply to the interactions with other human beings. Phase three is when you wonder why it is important to change the other’s mind. Phase four is when you stop judging people at all.

This has the side effect that you also give up trying to get people to stop arguing at you. If I don’t argue, then the other person assumes their idea has carried the argument, when in reality I’m focused on how delightful my iced tea is, or the weather.

I’m reminded of the ages of roots, fire, water and air that I mentioned a few days back; Once you start flirting with the age of air, the only person left to argue with is oneself.

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Our deepest fear

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be?

~ Marianne Williamson

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When is the last time you did nothing?

Blaise Pascal famously said that all human miseries arise from our inability to do this. But I think it’s really just an unwillingness. He’s right about the arising miseries though—not knowing how to deliberately do nothing is a crippling disease that leads to bizarre, self-defeating phenomena like workaholism, cigarette smoking, rude smartphone behavior (see below) and eventually war and pestilence.

~ David Cain from, 4 Absurdly Easy Things I Do That Make Life Disproportionately Better

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Not to be confused with, “doing something that doesn’t advance you towards a goal.” That’s still doing something. A lot of people spend a lot time doing all sorts of that busy-nothing; I see you on the street, in your car, at the cafe, the glow of the TV in your homes, and I can tell by the words that I overhear that all that stuff is important to you. There’s a good book, What Makes Your Brain Happy: And Why You Should Do the Opposite, which I offer for your consideration.

No, I’m asking about “doing nothing” as in sitting, or perhaps lying down, and being fully aware of the reality around you. For many years, I ran in terror from doing nothing. I ran to my todo lists or my goals or my habits designed to improve my life or my TV or my fiction books…

I started by intentionally setting out—if even for a few minutes—to do nothing. I’ve gotten pretty darn good at it these days. What I’m currently practicing is learning that doing nothing is the good stuff I should not feel guilty about.

Why not go do nothing right now?

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Gogoly Yao: Journey, Esprit Concrete, and challenges

How can addressing personal fears and vulnerabilities through movement practices lead to deeper personal growth and stronger community connections?

Gogoly Yao explains his background and the journey that led him to where he is now. He discusses how he first encountered parkour, and his work on Esprit Concrete with Kasturi Torchia. Yao shares his current challenges and what he is working on, and discusses his training with Esprit Concrete team member Georgia Munroe.

My focus in training has never been really about the movement. It has been about my fears. Like I said, that’s where it started, but I didn’t know at the time. I didn’t know a lot of things. I didn’t know where it was, what I was looking for, and what I could get.

~ Gogoly Yao (11:50)

Yao’s journey in parkour and movement began as a way to confront personal fears, including heights and physical vulnerability. His initial focus on power and large movements shifted after injuries forced him to explore conditioning and smaller, more controlled actions. This gradual change led to deeper self-awareness and a new approach to training, rooted in addressing psychological barriers.

Esprit Concrete, co-founded by Yao, reflects this philosophy by blending physical practice with emotional growth. The project focuses on guiding individuals to recognize their vulnerabilities and develop a personalized path forward, emphasizing personal agency and choice. The conversation highlights the balance between teaching others and continuing personal growth, with Yao candidly sharing his ongoing struggles with trust and control.

Takeaways

Trust and vulnerability — Trusting others is difficult but necessary for growth.

Training through fear — Addressing personal fears through movement leads to deeper progress.

Freedom in movement — Movement practices offer a sense of liberation and personal exploration.

Emotional strength — True strength lies beyond physical ability, involving emotional and mental resilience.

Individual perception — Understanding personal perceptions helps in addressing personal limitations.

Resources

Esprit Concrete — The project co-founded by Yao that blends movement practice with emotional growth and self-discovery.

Yamakasi Documentary — A film showcasing the origins of parkour that inspired Yao’s interest in the practice.

Kasturi Torchia @dr.ktorchia — Yao’s collaborator at Esprit Concrete, contributing psychological insight to the project.

(Written with help from Chat-GPT.)

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Just a chair

It’s all about the context. I find that having certain spaces where I do certain things works wonders. For example, if I want to do certain kinds of work, I sit here and all my tools are arrayed. In general, the act of showing up at the designated area and having the environment pre-set to be conducive to the activity is often enough to get my brain to shift into the mode I need.

Have you ever tried to find a chair for reading?

For about a decade I’ve had a typical Pöang chair from Ikea that I sit in to read. It’s absolutely horrible for reading. But it’s better than any chair I have in my house. So buy a chair Craig! …if only I could find one.

High enough at the back so I can rest my head. The whole chair tipped back far enough that I can completely relax and have all of my body settle into the chair. Feet flat on the floor. Padded arm rests. Arm rests high enough that when I hold the thing I’m reading it’s up at eye level.

Sorry. This quest is driving me bonkers.

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