Scree

noun : an accumulation of loose stones or rocky debris lying on a slope or at the base of a hill or cliff.

Acceptance →

Published April 9, 2023  ·  All posts on Apr 9  ·  ,

The results of fully listening are profound and couldn’t be more relevant today in times of immense distractions and a world constantly in a rush: Others feel accepted.

They feel heard. They take their own words more seriously. By thinking out loud, they are discovering their own words and, by that, their own true selves.

~ Klaus Motoki Tonn from, Listening as an Act of Hospitality

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This article touches on a number of different things which are interesting about conversation. I was surprised to realize that despite its having several great quotes from famous authors, this bit from Tonn was the part I kept returning to. It’s just deposited quietly in the middle of the whole thing which made it all the more delightful to discover; if I’d only skimmed I’d surely have missed it.

Let’s be fair: In today’s world, no one actually listens and every thing is intentionally distracting as it clamors for our attention. That makes what should be the “simple” act of listening into something profound. I’ve encountered the effect Tonn’s highlighting many times. The more I listen, the more each guest seems to be on a journey of self-discovery. The more I implicitly promise not to interrupt them, the more confident becomes their self-exploration. And it’s made all the more special by their not expecting it.

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Tasks, broken →

Published April 7, 2023  ·  All posts on Apr 7  ·  

Just like with a real egg, you only have to damage the task’s exterior a little bit in order to transform it, to make it ready for step two, and it doesn’t particularly matter where on its surface you do that. As soon as the egg is cracked, it becomes a different object — one that tells you what to do with it.

~ David Cain from, How to Get Started When You Just Can’t Get Started

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Usually, I begin a task by envisioning what “done” looks like. It’s critical that I sit with that vision of done and be certain I want it in my life. I cannot do the majority of things I imagine tackling. Too often, my vision of done actually has me in a worse place: Becoming the sad maintainer of some complicated system is a common side effect of my imaginings.

If I’m buying into the vision though, there’s nothing like feeling you’ve taken a big bite out of the task. When working with others, I used to spend too much effort selling the vision. Which then leads to a lot of explanation of how we’ll get there. It turns out that if I’m supposed to be helping (or *gasp* leading) it’s better to get everyone involved doing. Doing something. Anything. Suddenly, it’s all hands on deck and we’re making light work out of the task. It’s much easier to course correct once we’re moving.

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Revelation with Evelyn Higgins →

Published April 7, 2023  ·  All posts on Apr 7

Revelation – with Dr. Evelyn Higgins

How can transformative personal experiences and advancements in addiction biology contribute to understanding and addressing addiction as a multifaceted issue?

From hiking across Spain to unraveling the biological roots of addiction, Evelyn Higgins reveals her personal and professional transformations.

You’re going to have three meetings along the way… You’re going to have a meeting with yourself. You’re going to have a meeting with the people that you meet along the way… And then your third meeting is going to be with God. And this was the kicker—he said, right now, you know exactly who you are; when you’re finished, you’ll be somebody completely different.

~ Evelyn Higgins, 5:20

Evelyn Higgins begins by sharing her transformative experience walking the Camino de Santiago, a 32-day journey across Spain that becomes a turning point in her life. Originally expecting to broadcast her radio show from the trail, she instead finds herself immersed in personal reflection, profound conversations with strangers, and spiritual exploration. On day twelve, a pivotal moment occurs when a priest mentions the “three meetings” she will encounter on her journey—with herself, others, and God—forever changing her perspective. This journey, undertaken at a turning point in her life, helps Evelyn gain a deeper understanding of her purpose, shifting how she approaches life and later influences her work.

The conversation shifts to Evelyn’s professional work with Wired For Addiction, where she applies genetic testing to understand and treat addiction and mental health disorders. She discusses the gap in current addiction treatment, which often neglects the biological components in favor of the psychosocial, and how her work seeks to identify 85 biomarkers linked to addiction. Highlighting the revolutionary nature of her research, Evelyn emphasizes the importance of addressing underlying physiological changes resulting from trauma and undiagnosed conditions. She also shares her passion for helping people understand their genetic predispositions to behaviors like addiction, offering a personalized approach to treatment that challenges conventional methods.

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Elizabeth Cunningham | Self-Advocacy →

Published April 6, 2023  ·  All posts on Apr 6

On Castbox.fm — Elizabeth Cunningham | Self-Advocacy

What role does self-advocacy play in creating authentic and fulfilling relationships?

Self-advocacy is redefined as a cornerstone for personal and relational growth.

In advocating for your needs, you’re actually leading the way for the people that you serve to advocate for their needs.

~ Elizabeth Cunningham (4:15)

The conversation explores the concept of self-advocacy as a foundation for personal development and authentic relationships. It begins with reflections on the openness of participants at the Art of Retreat and transitions into how self-advocacy is an overlooked cornerstone in personal and professional life. Elizabeth emphasizes that advocating for one’s own needs fosters not only personal growth but also serves as an example for others, countering the misconception that self-advocacy is selfish.

Another focal point is the journey toward self-awareness and identifying areas where needs are unmet. This includes helping individuals recognize patterns of self-sacrifice and enabling them to understand the importance of prioritizing their own well-being. Elizabeth highlights the challenge of meeting people where they are without pushing solutions onto them, stressing the importance of cultivating genuine curiosity and allowing others to arrive at their realizations.

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Open with Tom Huntington →

Published April 5, 2023  ·  All posts on Apr 5

What are the key principles and ideas behind the “Open and Curious” project, and how do they apply to fostering meaningful conversations and personal growth?

Explore how curiosity, complexity, and personal growth intersect in the journey of crafting conversations and podcasts.

But a lot of us get this memo—who didn’t get it early in life—begin to get it in middle age. I’ve never had this thought before, but the middle age thing… what [our culture calls] the midlife crisis. Well the midlife crisis is really getting […] I’m not supposed to keep trying to be perfect.

~ Tom Huntington (5:11)

Craig and Tom engage in a thoughtful conversation about curiosity, control, and personal growth, touching on how these ideas intersect with podcasting and everyday life. Tom expresses his excitement about Craig’s project, Open and Curious, seeing it as a principle of life and an approach to understanding healthy human nature. They discuss the tension between trying to control outcomes, especially in conversations and creative work, and allowing curiosity to guide the process. Craig reflects on how developing curiosity can help podcasters move conversations in meaningful directions without forcing control, while Tom emphasizes the importance of being open without slipping into chaos.

Another theme is the challenge of balance in life and learning. Tom shares his personal experience of trying to manage too many ideas, leading to a feeling of being out of balance, and describes the importance of self-awareness in recognizing the problem as internal rather than external. They also touch on midlife revelations, where people begin questioning the pursuit of perfection and the pressures of society. Tom’s reflections on mental health and how openness affects both individual growth and relationships add depth to the discussion, bringing in insights from neuroscience and attachment theory.

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Ya big softie →

Published April 5, 2023  ·  All posts on Apr 5  ·  

Maybe I’m just a big sentimental softie, but I bet if you peer deep into your past, you don’t see a list of names, dates, and places. Instead, I bet you get a hodgepodge of images and events, and I bet that some of the details are hazy or mixed up, like who was there, what they were wearing, or whether it happened when you were six or when you were eight. But I bet the feelings are clear. You’re probably not confused about whether you felt proud or afraid, welcomed or rejected. And I bet that although you could describe these memories to me—a golden-hued day at the zoo, the last fight your parents had before they got divorced—the words would leave a lot out. To really get me to understand, you’d need to hook your brain up to mine, Avatar-style, so I could feel what you felt.

~ Adam Mastroianni from, You’ll forget most of what you learn. What should you do about that?

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Mastroianni’s article is about learning. In particular, how and why and when we forget, and what might we try to do about that fact. I go through cycles of grasping at trying to remember, and leaning into the forgetting. At the end, I expect I’ll forget everything. (Just sayin’.)

My life improves when I realize that my happiness is relative to where I set my sights. If my goal is to remember as much as possible, I’m going to fall short and be disappointed. If my goal is to be pleasantly surprised when I’m reminded of things (experiences, ideas from others, and my own ideas) which I had already discovered, then that suggests a different course of action. Rather than strain to hold on to everything, I try to release everything from within my mind, and try arrange the world around me to bring me joy.

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How does this even exist? →

Published April 3, 2023  ·  All posts on Apr 3  ·  ,

In fact, now I’m wondering if that’s one way you know something is great? When you say: “How does this even exist?”

~ Austin Kleon from, The making of Lilo & Stitch

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Yes, that’s definitely one way.

In about ten weeks I’m making my annual journey to Boston and neighboring Somerville for a parkour event. Much has changed over the years I’ve been going. It’s moved from Septembers to Junes. The size has waxed and waned. A few of the same people are usually there, and there is an endless banquet of new forever-friends.

If you get into doing this thing, and you start going to play and train with others, you soon have a very unusual problem: The more you run into a particular someone, the more it happens in different places. You start to have this precious view of who this person is separated from where that person normally is. Sometimes you know someone well, but have no idea where you know them from. It’s weird. It’s awesome. How does this even exist?

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April 02, 2023 — #26 →

Published April 2, 2023  ·  All posts on Apr 2  ·  

Reading time: About 4 minutes, 900 words
Get 7 for Sunday in your inbox. → Subscribe here.
This issue is https://7forsunday.com/26

A glimpse →

Published April 2, 2023  ·  All posts on Apr 2  ·  

The best way to get a vivid impression and feeling of a landscape, is to sit down before it and read, or become otherwise absorbed in thought; for then, when your eyes happen to be attracted to the landscape, you seem to catch Nature unawares, and see her before she has time to change her aspect. The effect lasts but for a single instant, and passes away almost as soon as you are conscious of it; but it is real, for that moment. It is as if you could overhear and understand what the trees are whispering to one another; as if you caught a glimpse of a face unveiled, which veils itself from every willful glance. The mystery is revealed, and after a breath or two, becomes just as great a mystery as before.

~ Nathaniel Hawthorne from, Nathaniel Hawthorne on How to Look and Really See

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*sigh* Some people can write.

There’s a practice to reaching that effect. At first, I couldn’t pull it off. After much practice, I can now arrive at this state quite regularly. Alas, at no time have I ever imagined as delightful a description as Hawthorne’s. The interesting part of the effect—at least, the effect I’m experiencing—is that it is quite clearly me that is different. Our brains are powerful filters; salient is how we describe that which our brains admit. In experiencing this effect, it feels like the salience filter is transparent… as if, instead of feeling swamped by sensory input, the window to the world is momentarily perfectly clear.

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Bitter or better? →

Published March 31, 2023  ·  All posts on Mar 31  ·  ,

The Stoics would agree that the world can be ugly and awful and disappointing. They would just remind us that what we control is what we do about this. We control what difference we try to make. We control whether it makes us bitter or makes us better—whether we complain or just get to work.

~ Ryan Holiday from, Why I Pick up Trash at the Beach

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My grasp is failing. My ability to keep track of this, and make a plan for organizing that, is waning. Each year I more quickly become frustrated at unforeseen twists and foreseen complexities. Believing I’m successfully juggling just two things, I’m surprised to discover one has already hit the floor. I’ve moved beyond having a to-do list long enough that many items are below the fold; the regularity of adding items near the top means the items below the fold will never get done. Instead, I have multiple systems piled up in sedimentary fashion. Entire segments of my life, which I thought were integral to my identity, have fallen below the fold.

And every day my life gets better. I wish I’d learned the lesson sooner.

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