Theoretically, if you know what you love, then every time you make a decision you’ll have a pretty damn clear idea if it’s taking you closer or further away from what you love. You’ll know the right thing to do. So self-love is a moral issue. It consists of doing the right thing, and nothing else.
If you put it that way, that would mean that all of my problems are my responsibility. There is, after all, nothing in my power beyond my reasoned choices.
In a chapter on reconciling the inevitable pain we invite into our lives when we commit to love a being biologically destined to die before we do and the boundless joy of choosing to love anyway, Homans cites John Updike’s heartbreaking poem “Another Dog’s Death”
My little town used to have a Barkery. That’s not a typo. Someone came up with a bunch of super-healthy and super-tasty recipes. She couldn’t sell them for human consumption, but I’ll just say that the dogs didn’t get every treat I bought there. Suuper tasty and no sugar. Her peanut butter ones—made with peanuts from scratch I think—were da’ bomb.
Anytime I was going somewhere where the dog had an owner I wanted to visit, I’d put those peanut butter dog treats from the Barkery . . . randomly in a few pockets. Dogs ‘d be like, “oh *sniff* hello there *sniff* *sniff* new huma—*sniff* *sniff* *sniff* excuse me sir, but are you aware THAT YOU SMELL LIKE PEANUTBUTTERHOLYSHITBESTDAYEVAAAAAR!”
I am actually going to make a point here.
You know what’s more awesome than dogs? Getting to be immersed in the sheer joy that dog’s experience. No complications. No todo lists. No stress nor worry. Just, best. day. EVAR!
Life is a solo trip, but you’ll have lots of visitors. I say this a lot and always will. Your life is one long unbroken experience, and you’re the only one who’s there the whole time. Visitors will come in and out of your experience. Most of them are short-term and you won’t notice when they’ve made their last appearance.
I’ve had this idea myself. That I won’t notice when this instance—this experience right here, right now, with this person—is going to be the last experience with this “visitor.”
You might think, as I once did, that this state of uncertainty must always be the situation. Because, how would you know for sure if this moment right here was the last moment with this visitor?
This entry is part 70 of 72 in the series My Journey
This entry is part 70 of 72 in the series My Journey
I think we are well advised to keep on nodding terms with the people we used to be, whether we find them attractive company or not. Otherwise they turn up unannounced and surprise us, come hammering on the mind’s door at 4 a.m. of a bad night and demand to know who deserted them, who betrayed them, who is going to make amends. We forget all too soon the things we thought we could never forget. We forget the loves and the betrayals alike, forget what we whispered and what we screamed, forget who we were.
I have no idea who my 16-or-so-year-old self was. I recently found myself telling a long sequence of stories from that era. Who was that person? What were they thinking? …I have no idea.
And I don’t mean that looking at the facts, things don’t make sense. As in, “why would someone do that, in that situation.”
I mean: I have no recollection of what it felt like to be that person. That person—those experiences—don’t even feel real. It’s like there’s not even the least certainty that those memories aren’t just something loaded into my brain before it was booted up a few years ago.
Going back ten years—maaaybe 15 at most—I feel like that is still me. It’s like there’s a horizon and once an experience disappears over the horizon, all that’s left is a story.
What skills and experiences are gained when parkour practitioners apply principles of stealth, teamwork, and adaptation in unconventional environments?
Adapting to dynamic challenges creates opportunities for growth in unconventional environments.
I wanted to present a framework for civilians, who don’t normally have access to training that you would see with military personnel, to get a little bit of that hands-on, but in a fun way.
~ Don Beeson (0:54)
The conversation revolves around a unique training experience blending parkour with stealth and survival techniques, conducted during a leadership and education retreat in the Cascade Mountains. Participants engaged in skill sessions that introduced military-inspired strategies for stealth and evasion, culminating in night missions designed to apply these lessons in practice. These activities challenged attendees to slow down, communicate non-verbally, and adapt to unfamiliar environments.
The discussion also highlights specific moments from the night missions, such as encounters with a “monster” in a ghillie suit and the use of distraction tactics. Participants demonstrated creativity and teamwork, employing methods taught earlier in the day to achieve objectives. The experience underscored the value of applying parkour principles in new contexts, encouraging practitioners to explore stealth and adaptability beyond their usual environments.
Takeaways
The value of slowing down — Participants learned how deliberate, slow movement can be more effective in certain contexts than speed.
Stealth as a skill — Techniques for evasion and camouflage were introduced, demonstrating their practical and creative applications.
Non-verbal communication — The exercises emphasized teamwork through silent coordination, fostering new ways of interaction.
Adapting parkour to unconventional settings — Participants explored how parkour skills can extend beyond urban environments into stealth and evasion scenarios.
Confidence through mastery — Success in the missions built participants’ confidence in applying new techniques effectively.
Integration of fantasy and strategy — Incorporating creative elements like riddles and challenges enhanced engagement and problem-solving.
The difficulty seems to be, not so much that we publish unduly in view of the extent and variety of present day interests, but rather that publication has been extended far beyond our present ability to make real use of the record. The summation of human experience is being expanded at a prodigious rate, and the means we use for threading through the consequent maze to the momentarily important item is the same as was used in the days of square-rigged ships.
Over in the Movers Mindset community I’ve started a topic titled, How to win the Internet, where I’ve been trying to unpack all my processes and way-of-thinking around how I manage (or at least, attempt to manage) everything I learn.
What are the essential elements for forming and maintaining successful partnerships in the Parkour community, and how can individuals avoid common pitfalls?
Successful partnerships in Parkour hinge on clear communication and defined responsibilities.
One of the biggest takeaways I wanted to talk about was this idea of death from 1000 cuts— when Parkour gyms or coaches or athletes, will try to chase down every single opportunity
~ Dylan Polin (1:05)
The conversation focuses on the key principles behind forming successful partnerships in the Parkour community, covering the roles of athletes, coaches, and gym owners. A significant point of discussion is how partnerships can enhance credibility and provide necessary resources for growth. The analogy of a lion chasing mice versus antelope is used to illustrate the importance of prioritizing high-value partnerships over numerous small, less impactful engagements.
Another key topic is the importance of communication when structuring partnerships. Emphasis is placed on defining responsibilities clearly to avoid misunderstandings that could lead to partnership failures. Additionally, the concept of sunk cost fallacy is highlighted, encouraging individuals to recognize when a partnership is no longer beneficial and to exit gracefully if necessary.
Takeaways
Forming partnerships — Partnerships are vital for growth and credibility in Parkour.
Opportunity management — Pursuing every opportunity can drain resources without yielding significant returns.
High-value partnerships — Focusing on impactful partnerships can provide long-term benefits, even if they require more effort.
Communication clarity — Clear, upfront communication and responsibility division are critical for partnership success.
Partnership pitfalls — Miscommunication or undefined roles can lead to partnership failures.
Exiting partnerships — Recognizing the need to exit unproductive partnerships is key to sustaining long-term growth.
Sunk cost fallacy — Avoiding the trap of continuing partnerships that no longer serve their purpose prevents unnecessary resource depletion.
What draws people away from conventional careers and into lives centered on movement, manual labor, and holistic living?
Chris Moran discusses his unique path from personal trainer to farmer, and the relationship between movement and farming. He shares his insights on chronic pain and pain theory, as well as how his training and coaching has become deeply rooted in permaculture. Chris ends by describing his continuing passion for film making and creative projects.
Stay outside. It’s not, go outside, it’s stay outside. Should have never went in, in the first place.
~ Chris Moran (37:40)
The conversation explores the journey of transitioning from urban life and personal training to farming and manual labor. It highlights how engaging with nature and physical tasks provides fulfillment beyond traditional fitness routines. The discussion touches on the serendipitous path that led to farming, the connections made along the way, and how these experiences reshaped views on movement and training.
Key topics include the relationship between manual labor and physical movement, the philosophy of holistic farming practices like permaculture, and how immersive experiences can alter perspectives on wellness and pain. The dialogue also reflects on the challenges of chronic pain, the psychological factors contributing to it, and how shifting to a lifestyle focused on play and practical tasks helped alleviate it. The conversation closes by touching on filmmaking and community building as extensions of this holistic approach.
Takeaways
The role of serendipity — Unplanned encounters and connections can lead to life-changing career shifts.
Movement in manual labor — Engaging in physical work offers a different but equally fulfilling form of movement compared to traditional training.
Parkour as a mindset — Movement practices like Parkour shape broader approaches to life, even when not practiced formally.
Pain science insights — Understanding pain through a biopsychosocial model can alter how chronic pain is managed and perceived.
Permaculture and sustainability — Farming practices rooted in sustainability and regeneration foster holistic wellness.
Community around food — Building community through shared labor and food ties people to place and each other.
Teaching through play — Guiding adults and children in play-based movement fosters deeper engagement with physical activity.
Filmmaking as storytelling — Documenting farm life through film creates a lasting record and strengthens community bonds.
Resources
Cherry Valley Cooperative — The farm where the guest lives and works, practicing permaculture and holistic wellness.
Cherry Valley Films on YouTube — Monthly videos documenting farm life and seasonal changes.
I’m not sure that’s worth linking to. But it is the article that sparked the thought that became this post. So, hat-tip where hat-tip is due.
You’re probably familiar with the common definition of the word “doldrums”: A period of stagnation or slump, or a period of depression or unhappy listlessness. But the common definition comes from the actual doldrums, which is a place in the Atlantic Ocean, more generally referred to as the “Horse Latitudes.”
Here’s the thought I had: I’m in the doldrums.
I’m not in the internally-generated, mental state, that the common definition implies. I’m in a place in my life which is the doldrums.
Old-timey sailors discovered a huge area of the Atlantic Ocean where the winds and sea are unreliable. Once a few explorers got stuck there, “in the doldrums,” on sailing ships, they shared the knowledge with others. Everyone quickly learned to avoid the Horse Latitudes because that place made things difficult.
Long ago I developed the twin skills of self-awareness and self-assessment and set about a long—and ongoing!—journey of self-improvement. But these days, I seem to be stuck in my journey. Why? I’m in the doldrums. I’ve navigated myself to a place which makes things difficult.
Bonus: How did sailors of old get out of the doldrums? When faced with mass dehydration, (it doesn’t rain much in the doldrums,) they’d tie their huge sailing ships to their tiny row-boats, and take shifts towing the ship.
I believe that everyone should write in public. Get a blog. Or use Squidoo or Tumblr or a microblogging site. Use an alias if you like. Turn off comments, certainly–you don’t need more criticism, you need more writing.
Thank you. …don’t mind if I do. Coming up on 8 years on this blog, and well over 2,000 posts. :)
Writing here has been useful on two fronts: First, when I do have to write something in some random context, le voila! …every day I suck less at writing. Second, writing clarifies my thinking. (My thinking needs a lot of clarifying.)
But forget business for a minute. Stores are much bigger than that, they’re central to our human existence. The way we shape reality is through storytelling. If we can tell a story about it, that means it exists. And this explains our species’ unique capacity for metaphor…for that is how we turn abstract ideas into stories.
As I mentioned in the meta-interview of me for the Movers Mindset podcast, I love stories and story-telling. But helping others tell their stories is what I enjoy most about the interviews. Everyone is so incredibly different—yes, I too thought that was obvious before I started interviewing people. ;) Some people, I have nothing more to do then press the ‘record’ button. Some people, have something they need to say but it takes hours of conversation to figure that out before I can press ‘record’.
I’ll be candid: The podcast is incredibly painful to create. Until you’ve tried it—I urge you to never try it, by the way—you cannot understand how much time, effort, and money it takes to do it well … did I mention the time? Worse, the more I work on the craft of story-telling, interviewing, and the countless nuances of producing a show. Bottomless, hopeless, endless, thankless, merciless.
But then I randomly listen to an episode from the catalog, one from a while ago that I’ve sort of half-forgotten and I remember why it would be inconceivable to stop this early in the journey.
The power going out in my apartment was refreshing for that few moments only because I knew it was coming back. There was never any question about that. It’s incredible, the confidence I have in the power coming back on. I have more confidence in the power coming back on than I do in my promise to myself to go running three mornings a week.
What can be learned from integrating therapeutic psychology into Parkour practices to address mental health and personal growth?
Exploring the therapeutic potential of Art du Déplacement within mental health contexts.
I wanted to show what a discipline of psychology that is human, humanistic person centered, could bring to this.
~ Kasturi Torchia (2:02)
The conversation focuses on Kasturi Torchia’s work integrating counseling psychology with Parkour through her model developed at Esprit Concrete. She discusses how Art du Déplacement can serve as a therapeutic tool, emphasizing the humanistic, person-centered approach that fosters self-awareness and addresses individual mental health needs. The talk also highlights the potential for retraumatization in Parkour training and the importance of recognizing and mitigating these risks through reflective practices.
Kasturi explains how movement can reveal unconscious patterns in participants’ lives, providing opportunities for personal growth and healing. She shares questions and strategies to encourage reflective practice, cautioning that probing too deeply without expertise can be dangerous. She underscores the importance of training coaches to apply these concepts effectively and safely.
Takeaways
Integrating counseling psychology with movement practices — Combining psychological interventions with Art du Déplacement to foster mental health and personal growth.
Humanistic and person-centered approach — Emphasizing individualized care while maintaining group values in Parkour coaching.
Risks of retraumatization in Parkour — Recognizing the unconscious potential for retraumatization and addressing it through therapeutic models.
Importance of reflective practice — Encouraging participants to explore patterns in their movements to uncover deeper emotional and psychological connections.
Challenges in coaching — Highlighting the need for caution and proper training when addressing psychological elements in Parkour instruction.
Movement as a mirror for life patterns — Exploring how challenges encountered in training often reflect broader life struggles.
Therapeutic questions for self-reflection — Using guided questions to help participants gain insights into their emotions and experiences.
Training coaches in therapeutic methods — Developing structured workshops to teach coaches safe and effective applications of psychological practices in movement contexts.
Resources
Esprit Concrete — The organization where Kasturi Torchia applies her therapeutic model blending counseling psychology and Parkour.
Everything there is, everything we know, hinges on this one bizarre, transient condition — existence — which just happens to be your current reality. We regard the miracle of existence as a goldfish regards water, which means we don’t regard it at all. But if you think about it, it’s an exceedingly peculiar fact — that we exist.
My energy and drive to write waxes and wanes. But my desire for perspective is constant. Here’s a big ol’ chunk of a different perspective from David Cain.
My favorite sort of perspective—this has happened to me several times—is when I am completely exhausted. Not sleepy, but physically exhausted. Sometimes this has been when I have a slight fever, when a bout with the flu is beginning. But sometimes it’s just after a long day of physical labor. I lay down, and every muscle in my body is completely relaxed. There’s no urge to fidget, and no urge to move. When I’m completely relaxed like this, exhaling is such a delightfully emptying feeling.
…and sometimes my brain gets quiet enough to think, “oh! This is quite nice.”
The conversation with Mandy was the first time I tried simply recording a long conversation, which we published with almost zero editing. I had been talking to people on our team about trying this form of recording, but at some point, you just sort of have to jump in the pool.
I don’t remember where or when I first met Mandy. I don’t remember if someone said, “you should interview Mandy.” “Who?” “Mandy, over there— here, I’ll introduce you.” …or maybe we first met training. I really don’t recall. But I do recall that after a conversation we were like, yeah, let’s do an interview. At some point. Somewhere. Some when.
Then a few more conversations. Then a few stories at Gerlev, and then we were at the 3rd Évry Move event and we kept saying, “we should make time for an interview.” So after dinner one evening, we kicked our feet up in a hotel room overlooking the fountain in front of the Évry Cathedral.
…and talked for more than two hours trying to decide what to talk about in her interview. Two terrific hours of great conversation. We kept looking out from the 4th floor, with the big window swung open wide to the warm night, and thinking, “This is Évry. We’re just casually chatting about communities and life and everything… in the middle of Évry.”
…and the huge water fountain in the plaza sounding like a waterfall.
…and we really should press record soon.
“…ok, so, we’ve now been talking for 2-and-a-half hours. We should probably press record soon.”
Finally, I was like, “fuck it. ready?” and I hit record. Then we talked for another two hours. We recorded this sleep-drunk rambling conversation, and the whole time I’m thinking, “this is going to be so bad. No one will ever want to listen to this.”
Weeks later, I finally listened to it.
There’s a team of people behind the podcast and they always want to know how each interview went. I bet you’ve heard the phrase, “like pulling a rabbit out of your hat,” used when—with a touch of panache—you manage something akin to snatching victory from the jaws of defeat.
This ongoing series of posts will contain my memories and thoughts from the interviews which I have been doing for the Movers Mindset podcast.
You can—obviously—listen to each interview. But in this series I want to share things about the interviews. I realized that I have begun to tell stories about the interviews, and people are fascinated by those stories as much as by the interviews themselves.
And so I want to share snapshots—imagery and ideas conveyed through storytelling—from the interviews. The podcast is about, among other things, sharing stories and for every interview I have at least one great story I want to tell.
Stories from before the interviews, or after. Or the people in the room you didn’t hear, or beautiful spaces I get to visit, or the time of day, the light, the vibe, the orgin-story of how I first met the guest, how they affected my life or my journey, …
I’m already 27 stories behind and even the most cursory romp down memory lane has brought countless stories to mind.
I find myself using the word “wish” when I’ve decided I don’t like something the way it is, yet I’m not actually doing anything about it. There’s no real reason to declare my wishes. Whenever I start a sentence with “I just wish…” feel free to ignore me, I’m only wasting your time. My whiny face has probably made you tune out anyway.
Then I have to ask, what does it mean when we say, “I wish you well?”
It means exactly nothing.
If someone is sick, don’t send prayers or well wishes. Instead, tell them you will miss them when they are gone—oviously only in cases where Death is the elephant-in-the-room. In more mundane situations, why not tell someone how much you enjoyed this opportunity to spend time with them. …or how much you appreciate their simply calling to say hello. Don’t “wish” them well. Don’t “try” to keep in touch. (Those are just a few examples that spring immediately to mind.)
Avoiding “wishing” is not easy. I’ve been actively and intentionally working on it for many years. So far, I’ve managed only to become aware of it each time I “wish” or “try.”
What is the interplay between the body’s systems and stress responses in shaping movement and awareness?
The integration of the nervous system, fascia, and circulatory systems redefines movement and stress management.
Holistic biomechanics is sort of the study of how the body works as a whole, how the mind and body are connected, as opposed to two separate entities.
~ Niko Pal (0:43)
The conversation explores the concept of holistic biomechanics, focusing on the interconnectedness of the nervous, circulatory, and fascial systems. These systems are discussed in terms of their roles in stress response, movement, and awareness. Nico explains how the body’s response to stress can be categorized into active and conservation stages, emphasizing the effects of prolonged stress on physical and mental health. He also introduces a reclassification of stress responses into adaptive and reflexive modes, offering a fresh perspective on how we perceive and manage stress.
Nico shares his personal experience presenting these ideas for the first time, highlighting the challenges of discussing complex topics in front of a large audience. He also discusses practical applications of mindfulness, such as developing sensory awareness of the body’s position in space. These techniques are presented as tools for enhancing movement efficiency and managing stress by fostering a deeper connection between mind and body.
Takeaways
Holistic systems — The nervous, circulatory, and fascial systems work together to support movement and stress management.
Stress response stages — Stress is experienced in active stages like fight or flight and conservation stages like collapse.
Adaptive versus reflexive — Stress responses can be viewed as adaptive (resting) or reflexive (survival-driven).
Fascial system’s role — Fascia connects the body structurally and influences how nerves communicate.
Sensory awareness — Developing body awareness improves both physical structure and stress response management.
Mindfulness in biomechanics — Practical techniques focus on integrating environmental awareness with bodily sensations.
What motivates individuals to embark on journeys that are deeply personal, yet intricately tied to the people and communities they encounter along the way?
Mandy Lam dives right into discussion about her travels, the characters she’s met and communities she has visited. She and Craig discuss the ethos and spirit of Évry Move, where they sat down to talk, as well as their experiences with the Yamakasi. Mandy also shares her thoughts on what makes a good community, the importance of solo training and self reflection, and finally gets around to discussing her major concussion.
It’s always the people. Even from the beginning, before my trip, it was always about the people.
~ Mandy Lam (7:34)
This conversation is a free-flowing discussion that centers on the intersections of travel, community, and personal growth. The dialogue reveals how connections with people—rather than places—become the driving force behind journeys. It highlights the serendipity of meeting individuals who profoundly shape one’s experiences and offers reflections on how cultural practices and storytelling enrich these encounters.
The discussion also examines broader themes such as how physical practices like Parkour serve as a medium for forming relationships and navigating personal narratives. It touches upon the challenges and rewards of creating and participating in events that foster community, drawing from specific examples like the North American Women’s Jam and training gatherings in Europe.
Takeaways
The essence of travel — Experiences are shaped more by the people encountered than the destinations themselves.
Curiosity as a driver — Following personal curiosity leads to deeper connections and richer experiences.
The power of communities — Communities often transcend geographical and cultural boundaries, fostering inclusivity and shared purpose.
Storytelling and connection — Sharing stories serves as a bridge between individuals and cultures.
Importance of shared practices — Activities like Parkour create unique opportunities for collaboration and mutual growth.
Flexibility in journeys — Approaching travel without rigid plans opens space for unexpected, meaningful interactions.
Emotional resonance in events — Events focused on community foster deep emotional connections among participants.
Resources
Évry Move event — Annual gathering in Évry, France, focusing on community and physical training.