Those who are easily shocked should be shocked more often.
~ Mae West
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Author: Craig Constantine
Connection with Saurabh Mithal
How can podcasting and creative practices enhance personal growth, connection, and professional development?
The practice of mindful creative work transforms personal and professional growth.
Podcasting, for me, seemed […] is a much more enabling platform than asking someone for a cup of coffee. It allows you to go deep into conversations because it’s a more exploratory kind of a medium.
~ Saurabh Mithal (2:28)
The conversation discusses the transformative potential of podcasting as a medium for personal and professional growth. Saurabh highlights how podcasting fosters connections by facilitating meaningful conversations and enabling creative exploration. He explains how this medium provides a platform for community building and encourages a growth mindset in various aspects of life.
Another key topic is the impact of shifting creative practices from private (e.g., morning pages) to public (e.g., dailies), which increases mindfulness, empathy, and the quality of the output. The dialogue also touches on the importance of intentionality in interactions, the concept of anti-fragility in careers, and the role of curiosity as a self-sustaining force for continuous learning and growth.
Takeaways
The importance of fostering genuine connections — Podcasting offers a unique way to form deeper connections with others.
The concept of anti-fragile careers — Designing a career that thrives in uncertainty requires consistent creativity, learning, and connection.
The shift from private to public creative practices — Moving creative work into the public sphere enhances its quality and mindfulness.
The role of curiosity — Being passionately curious drives both personal and professional growth.
The impact of recorded conversations — Knowing that a conversation will be recorded and shared raises its quality and depth.
The value of calling out rationalizations — Encouraging people to face their real priorities helps them achieve their goals.
Generosity in creative work — Mindful creation generates value for all participants and audiences.
The interplay of mindfulness and creativity — Awareness of the purpose and context of creative work enhances its effectiveness.
Resources
Passionately Curious — Saurabh’s platform for helping individuals build careers centered around their individuality.
The Akimbo Community — A network of creatives and learners connected through Seth Godin’s workshops.
Seth Godin’s Creative Workshop — A course focused on daily creative practices, such as dailies.
Morning Pages — From The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron), a tool for unfiltered, private creative writing.
(Written with help from Chat-GPT.)
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Acceptance with Sam Ardery
How can individuals approach conversations more effectively to foster understanding, manage conflict, and overcome fear?
The illusion of control deeply influences how we approach conversations and conflict.
People really like the idea of control, and I think a lot of things we do in our lives are to live under the illusion of control.
~ Sam Ardery (1:16)
This conversation explores the nature of control, fear, and personal accountability in conversations and conflict resolution. A central theme is the illusion of control and how it shapes our responses to unexpected situations. Techniques such as the “P-A-R-C” framework—pause, assess, reflect, and choose—offer practical tools for navigating conversations more thoughtfully.
Other significant topics include the role of compassion and self-compassion, particularly in the context of conflict and personal growth. The discussion emphasizes the importance of understanding one’s own role in disputes, highlighted by the idea of “accepting your 5%.” Additionally, the fear of rejection and failure is dissected, with insights into how embracing these fears can lead to greater resilience and better outcomes in personal and professional interactions.
Takeaways
The illusion of control — People often act under the false belief that they can control outcomes, which influences how they handle conflict and conversations.
The “P-A-R-C” framework — A method to pause, assess, reflect, and choose, providing a structured approach to challenging interactions.
Self-compassion as a foundation — Recognizing and practicing self-compassion is essential for genuinely empathizing with others.
Radical listening — Listening without agenda and being open to the possibility of being wrong is critical for meaningful dialogue.
Accepting responsibility — Taking accountability for one’s share of the conflict, even if small, can shift the dynamics of disputes.
Fear of rejection — Overcoming the fear of rejection is crucial for effective outreach and building connections.
Discomfort in growth — Embracing discomfort as a natural part of personal and relational development leads to lasting growth.
The dichotomy of control — Separating what one can control from external circumstances helps manage expectations and reduces anxiety.
Resources
Sam Ardery’s website — Features writings and resources on mediation, negotiation, and personal growth.
Positively Conflicted — Sam’s book exploring conflict resolution and personal development through practical stories and frameworks.
(Written with help from Chat-GPT.)
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Greatness
I wake up each day with the firm conviction that I am nowhere near my full potential. ‘Greatness’ is a verb. I have miles to go before I sleep, and so I will spend my remaining years desperately looking to improve who I am from year to year. Greatness is not a final destination, but a series of small acts done daily in order to constantly rejuvenate and refresh our skills in a daily effort to become a better version of ourselves.
~ Maurice Ashley
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High-quality information
I get paid to read and comment on the news for a living, and I still wake up every morning completely overwhelmed by all that’s going on. I can feel my blood pressure go up as I try to figure out what to focus on first. The way I manage it is to remember that the world will go on if I don’t read everything. Newspapers will publish again the next day. I will always be better off consumg a smaller amount of high-quality information that trying to consume it all.
~ Tommy Vietor
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The primary cause
The numerous influences of the shoe heel on the foot and body column are not fully understood by most medical practitioners. The practi- tioner commonly speaks of “sensible” heels. Such a heel does not exist. Any elevated heel under a shoe automati- cally initiates an altered series of foot and body biomechanics.
~ William A. Rossi from, Footwear The Primary Cause of Foot Disorders
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And sometimes I use my blog as a personal out-brain data storage system. I’m trying to link to a more definitive source—but you’ll find that link is pay-walled, (and of no relation nor benefit to me.) It’s a short read, well-worth finding a copy of.
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We learn so little
It’s so hard to forget pain, but it’s even harder to remember sweetness. We have no scar to show for happiness. We learn so little from peace.
~ Chuck Palahniuk
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Remember sweetness
It’s so hard to forget pain, but it’s even harder to remember sweetness. We have no scar to show for happiness. We learn so little from peace.
~ Chuck Palahniuk
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I continue to practice shifting my perspective. Instead of “pain” and “pleasure” though, I struggle with “failure” and “success.” The danger of setting clear goals, is that it’s equally clear whether or not they are achieved. Not reaching a goal is clear, and real. And to pretend otherwise is foolish.
The trap is that I forget that each goal contains a degree of arbitrariness. Success (reach the goal) and failure (not reach the goal.) Do not admit of shades of grey. But I systematically make the error of moving those adjectives onto my own self-assessment. Did I reach that goal? No. Then: I’m a failure.
A friend of mine once said that it takes a special person to be able to set a goal they cannot achieve. The cleverness—in my opinion—in there is that to be that special person, you have to set a goal that you believe you can achieve… and then discover your belief was wrong. I had a belief—some piece of a model of reality, a map of a territory, a piece of knowledge—and I’ve now realized, as I fail to reach a goal, that I was wrong. That’s literally learning.
…so really, every time I fall short on a goal, I’m literally learning and getting better. Every time I set a goal and “succeed,” not so much.
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Information
In an information-rich world, the wealth of information means a dearth of something else: a scarcity of whatever it is that information consumes. What information consumes is rather obvious: it consumes the attention of its recipients. Hence a wealth of information creates a poverty of attention and a need to allocate that attention efficiently among the overabundance of information sources that might consume it.
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What information consumes
In an information-rich world, the wealth of information means a dearth of something else: a scarcity of whatever it is that information consumes. What information consumes is rather obvious: it consumes the attention of its recipients. Hence a wealth of information creates a poverty of attention and a need to allocate that attention efficiently among the overabundance of information sources that might consume it.
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It may be, as he says, obvious to Simon, but it really was not obvious to me. Until I read this I had always thought of myself as giving, or perhaps spending, my time on information. In recent years I’ve begun reminding anyone who’ll listen, that we all have large Oxo grips that extend from the ancient systems cobbled together which today form our intelligence, our fear, and our psyche. It’s easy to grab someone by those handles and lead them. That’s fine because everyone doesn’t try to grab me by those Oxo handles. But software is good at grabbing those handles. Hardware is good at it. And companies run by people who haven’t thought through the morality of what they’re building using software and hardware are really good at it.
So when I read Simon’s comment about information consuming my attention. I sat bolt-upright.
…and then I renewed by efforts to swat away anything that I catch gazing lasciviously at my weaknesses.
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Value and happiness
There is no value in life except what you choose to place upon it, and no happiness in any place except what you bring to it yourself.
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Principles are few
As to methods, there may be a million and then some, but principles are few. The man who grasps principles can successfully select his own methods. The man who tries methods, ignoring principles, is sure to have trouble.
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Principles
As to methods, there may be a million and then some, but principles are few. The man who grasps principles can successfully select his own methods. The man who tries methods, ignoring principles, is sure to have trouble.
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This is strikingly accurate for all the domains I’ve tried so far. I believe it’s useful to begin by trying some method-work; To explore conversation as a mastery practice, it would be insurmountably boring to sit in my research library reading about conversation. But trying a few different experiments provides invaluable experience. Some things are reproducible, and some things aren’t. Why is that? Some things work as I expected, and some things don’t. Why is that? Some things aren’t connected the way I’d expected, (imagine if the light switches in your house worked lights in other rooms, instead of the one you expected.) Why is that?
Niels Bohr said something similar about Painful experience, and I agree. The experiences serve as guides on either side of the roadway. In the beginning, everything is unknown and the road is seemingly boundless. Some exploration however soon finds a guide limiting one side. Farther exploration moves along the road and perhaps finds the other side’s guide. Progress continues in a serpentine fashion along the road. As principles are learned, the road becomes clearer. Armed with the curiosity and inspiration born of experimentation, progress along the road accelerates as the guides become more clear.
In the end—or the end of the beginning?—things again seem simple. One might even say they seem principled.
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Pathways in the mind
As a single footstep will not make a path on the earth, so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind. To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again. To make a deep mental path, we must think over and over the kind of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives.
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Understanding
To understand is to know what to do.
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Quiet desperation
The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation. From the desperate city you go into the desperate country, and have to console yourself with the bravery of minks and muskrats. A stereotyped but unconscious despair is concealed even under what are called the games and amusements of mankind. There is no play in them, for this comes after work. But it is a characteristic of wisdom not to do desperate things.
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Have it all
When we try to do it all and have it all, we find ourselves making trade-offs at the margins that we would never take on as our intentional strategy. When we don’t purposefully and deliberately choose where to focus our energies and time, other people—our bosses, our colleagues, our clients, and even our families—will choose for us, and before long we’ll have lost sight of everything that is meaningful and important.
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Trade-offs
When we try to do it all and have it all, we find ourselves making trade-offs at the margins that we would never take on as our intentional strategy. When we don’t purposefully and deliberately choose where to focus our energies and time, other people—our bosses, our colleagues, our clients, and even our families—will choose for us, and before long we’ll have lost sight of everything that is meaningful and important.
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In the last year, I’ve been regularly returning to my personal mission. It’s a blazing beacon on the horizon. Every time I am aware that I should make a choice, I can honestly say this choice right here is in service of my mission. (The corollary of course is that those times when I’m not aware that I’m making a choice, my mission doesn’t help me at all.)
And I do literally mean all the things are in service of my mission. My choices about my commitments to people, family responsibilities, taxes, friendships, volunteer work, rest, relaxation, food, and many more things are all intentional choices now made in service of my mission. All those things, which others might say seem to be off-mission, are in fact making me a functioning, decent person who is then able to pursue a mission. There’s a whole suite of things that people incorrectly talk about as “home” life, (or “personal” life, or sometimes just “life”,) which they need to balance against “work” life. No. No no. No no no. I tried splitting my universe into work and life and that’s simply not reality.
There’s only “life” time. Stare unflinching at those choices that seem to be on the margins, for they too are just as much important choices about your life.
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Vulnerability
I had no choice but to let my guard down and be vulnerable for the first time. Shockingly, rather than drive my employees away, it drew them closer. Young team members actually pulled me aside and confessed that they used to think I was “superhuman,” meaning I was unrelatable [sic]. Now that I was showing my vulnerability, they said, they would follow me anywhere. The lesson: Rather than striving to be superhuman, I would aspire to be less “super” and more “human.”
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Choices
In a few hundred years, when the history of our time will be written from a long-term perspective, it is likely that the most important event historians will see is not technology, not the Internet, not e-commerce. It is an unprecedented change in the human condition. For the first time—literally—substantial and rapidly growing numbers of people have choices. For the first time, they will have to manage themselves. And society is totally unprepared for it.
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