What Actually Changes

After you’ve been doing this for a while, you’ll notice some things have shifted.

You stop having the same conversation with yourself repeatedly. Once you’ve worked through something and written down the conclusion, you can reference it instead of re-arguing it.

You catch yourself starting to spiral and think “I should write this down.” The notebook becomes the obvious tool for dealing with overwhelm instead of just another thing you’re supposed to do.

You start trusting your past self. When you write “figured out X, see page Y for reasoning,” you actually go look at page Y instead of assuming you need to re-figure it out.

You have answers to “what have you been working on?” Because you can look it up instead of trying to reconstruct it from vague memory.

These aren’t dramatic transformations. But they add up to something significant: you waste less mental energy on things the notebook can handle for you.

That’s the whole point.

You’ve got everything you need. A notebook, a method that works, and practices you can use when they’re helpful. The rest is just using it.

Write things down. Think more clearly. Do less work overall.

It’s that simple.

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This is the final post in a series about Hand-Write. Think Better.—a method for people who feel overwhelmed to start simply writing more on paper. Get the book →


What does presence actually take?

The tagline at the top of this site is Presence, not pursuit. This thread is the working-out of what those words actually mean — for me, after years of chasing the next thing and finding myself less present, not more.

Presence isn’t a state you arrive at by trying harder; trying harder is the problem. Some of the pieces below are mine — what’s changed about my own attention as I’ve gotten older, what stillness looks like when I let it land, what acceptance has done to my happiness arithmetic. Others are field notes from movement conversations where the same lesson surfaces from radically different angles: standing practice that strips away every distraction, a Camino pilgrim told the meeting with herself comes first, a man recovering from a stroke whose anchor is just “this is what’s happening.”

The thread is sequenced for someone who’s tired of seeking and ready to notice.

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What can hand writing actually do?

I’ve been keeping a personal journal and tinkering with notebooks, lists, prompts, and reminders for decades. The longer I’ve done it, the more convinced I am that hand-writing isn’t a quaint preference — it’s a different way of thinking. The pen slows you down. The page absorbs what your head keeps re-running. You stop having to remember things you’ve already worked through. It’s not magic. It’s just paper. But over years I believe it has changed what my mind does in any given hour.

This thread runs through how the practice actually works for me — what hand-writing changes about attention, what the daily routines look like, why the lists matter, what reflection adds, and what shows up years later when you rummage through an old notebook. The book Hand-Write. Think Better. is the one-place compression of all of that and this thread is the longer conversation behind it.

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What About Digital Tools?

People ask about digital note-taking tools. Notion, Obsidian, Roam, whatever the current favorite is.

Those tools are fine. They solve different problems.

The notebook works because:

  • Writing by hand is slower, which forces clearer thinking
  • It’s always available (no boot time, no battery, no “let me find the right app”)
  • There’s no temptation to organize before you write
  • You can’t accidentally delete it
  • It works the same way in 20 years

Digital tools work because:

  • They’re searchable
  • They’re backed up
  • You can reorganize
  • You can share
  • They integrate with other systems

Different trade-offs.

For thinking through problems and capturing thoughts in the moment, I’ll take paper. For building reference systems or collaborative work, digital makes sense.

You can use both. They’re not competing. They’re solving different problems.

The question isn’t “paper or digital?” It’s “what are you trying to do right now?”

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This is part of a series about Hand-Write. Think Better.—a method for using paper to think more clearly. Get the book →


Fasting — what I’ve actually learned

I started in 2008-ish by cutting refined carbs. Intermittent fasting — 16:8 — came later. I’m still over-weight. I’m not selling anything. The pieces below are the ones I keep pointing to when someone asks me what I think.

This thread is sequenced for someone wondering whether to be more intentional about when they eat. None of it answers that question for you. It just tells you what an honest version of the n=1 looks like over a long timeline, and suggests things you might want to try.

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Aiming is the secret

You don’t get ready and then aim high. You aim high, and the aiming makes you ready.

~ Nini Nguyen, from The Moon was Never the Point

That’s something which took me many years to understand.

I’m fond of saying that ideas are worthless. What matters is what you do with your ideas. Share them freely. Engage with others. Make a plan and see it through.

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There’s just life time

Figuring out how to have sustainable, fulfilling existence seems like it should be the goal, no?

~ John Warner, from Produce or Perish?

Somewhere there’s a quote about how we don’t have “work time” and “play time” but rather there is only life time. Warner’s article gets it.

I hope you have gotten it too.

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Dismantling our creative potential

And then the newest erosion – the AI rabbit hole. Everyone deep in their own individual loop. Getting more productive. Getting more fluent. And getting, incrementally, more disconnected from the people around them. The half-formed question that used to get asked out loud – I’m stuck on this, has anyone dealt with something like this? – now goes to a chatbot. The same technology that was supposed to unlock creative potential is, in its default form, dismantling the sidewalk ballet entirely.

~ Zoe Scaman, from Creative Mycelium

Yes. But, see also Schizoid Kairos for a view of the situations where it’s also a novel new paradigm.

As with every technology—every tool—humankind has ever picked up, it matters what you do with it. Sure, I want to live in that “sidewalk city” where my ideas mix with others’. If only those scenes still existed.

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Incomplete. Forever.

For most of human history, you bought a thing, and it was yours, and it was finished.

That word is nearly extinct.

Nothing you own is finished. Everything exists in a state of permanent incompletion, permanently needing. Your phone needs updates, needs charging, needs storage cleared, needs passwords rotated.

~ Terry Godier, from The Last Quiet Thing

That’s exactly it. I’m often talking about calm technology and that’s one key issue with stuff these days. But this point about finished makes my heart sink.

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What’s actually happening when conversation works?

I’ve recorded a lot of conversations over the past decade — and started my Open + Curious project to explicitly write down what I think I’ve learned. The advice everyone gets about conversation — be warm, follow up, build rapport — doesn’t fully describe what I’ve actually seen happen in the conversations that worked.

This thread is a path through pieces I’ve written and conversations I’ve distilled, sequenced for someone who’s wondering why so many attempts at meaningful conversation fall flat. As usual for my writing, none of them answer the question. Instead, they name some of the gaps between what we usually mean by good conversation and what’s happening when a conversation is actually good.

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