Arguments

Petulance

13 Days Ago

If you’re regularly having arguments with well-informed people of goodwill, you will probably ‘lose’ half of them–changing your mind based on what you’ve learned. If you’re not changing your mind, it’s likely you’re not actually having an argument (or you’re hanging out with the wrong people.) While it can be fun to change someone else’s position, it’s also a gift to learn enough to change ours.

~ Seth Godin from, How to win an argument with a toddler

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It warms my heart whenever anyone describes an argument—what an argument actually is, not rather a fight which too many people refer to as an “argument.”

I’m not the tantrum-throwing child Godin is (among others) referring to— but too often I can be the next child over in the stereotypical classroom: The petulant one. Yikes!

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Opinions everywhere

May 17, 2023

Secondly, I say something like this: “I’m sure you’ve heard the expression ‘everyone is entitled to their opinion.’ Perhaps you’ve even said it yourself, maybe to head off an argument or bring one to a close. Well, as soon as you walk into this room, it’s no longer true. You are not entitled to your opinion. You are only entitled to what you can argue for.”

~ Patrick Stokes from, No, you’re not entitled to your opinion

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Stokes is a professor, and I rarely find myself in a teaching context. When I hear someone express an opinion, I make an assessment of their argument. Did they actually give a coherent argument? Did they give a sketch of one? Do they seem the sort of person who could give an argument in support of their opinion? To be clear, I’m not judging the person, but rather I’m trying to judge the ideas espoused.

Surprising to me, it’s become clear it’s often not obvious when something is a fact versus an opinion.

On the flip side, I try to signal my level confidence in my opinions. I’m trying to banish the phrase, “I think…” because it carries no meaning. Instead I try to say, “It seems obvious to me that…”, “I read somewhere that…”, “So-and-so told me that…”, or “It happened to me that…”

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