You’ve spent years learning how to read and write, years learning how to speak. But what about listening? What training or education have you had that enables you to listen so that you really, deeply understand another human being from that individual’s own frame of reference?
~ Stephen Covey
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It has to be territorial, not hierarchical. Meaning real success comes from the inside out, not the outside in. Real success is the process, not the product. It’s what we would do if there were nobody else in the world, yet it depends in the end on everyone else in the world. The essential expression of our art is that of a gift. We draw from that which is most ourselves–and then offer that essence to our fellow travelers on this planet, to help them, entertain them, show them they’re not alone … asking nothing in return (well, maybe enough to pay the rent, we hope.)
~ Steven Pressfield
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This is a classic that has nothing at all to do specifically with writing. If you are involved in creating anything, you will find this is a great article with a long list of elements of success. (“Elements of Success” is his title.) After you read this, you should run—not walk—and get a copy of his book War of Art; you can thank me later.
Anyway.
The paragraph above really spoke to me. The idea that “success is the process” is something I keep losing hold of. Like a swimmer who keeps forgetting that kicking effectively and continuously is a necessary part of staying afloat and getting there, I keep forgetting that the process is success and I begin to struggle.
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Many realize that 50 years ago, on October 29, 1969, the first message was successfully sent over the ARPANET, which eventually evolved into the Internet. But few know the story that led up to that message.
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The Internet as we know it today was really born in the early 90’s. I remember when web sites—”The Web”—was invented. I was a graduate student in Physics back then. There used to be a web site at UIUC where someone kept a list of all the web sites. (People would email them when they added a web site to the Internet.) I used to check that site every day—and get excited on the days when a new web site had appeared.
…at least, that’s how I remember it. ;)
Anyway, great little read about some of the people who started it all, and the very first message across the Internet v1.
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How do personal experiences with movement practices and societal dynamics shape an individual’s perspective on gender roles, personal growth, and parenting?
Rebecca Brightly discusses the changing dynamics of going from Lindy Hop to motherhood and unpacks her parenting philosophy. She explains why she tolerates parkour and how the gender dynamics contrast with her experience in dance. Rebecca gives her thoughts on gender representation and why she wants women to see how capable they are.
My philosophy is overcoming challenges is what helps build self-confidence. In fact, my opinion is that overcoming challenges is the only thing that builds self-confidence.
~ Rebecca Brightly
Rebecca shares her journey transitioning from Lindy Hop to motherhood and then to parkour, reflecting on how each phase shaped her perspective on community, personal growth, and gender dynamics. She describes the challenges of navigating a dance community that lacked family inclusivity and the complexities of balancing parenthood with her passion for movement. Rebecca contrasts her experiences in Lindy Hop, which often adhered to traditional gender roles, with parkour’s individualistic approach, finding liberation in the absence of physical imposition.
Throughout the conversation, Rebecca goes into broader themes of societal expectations and personal empowerment. She explores how parenting intersects with her belief in the transformative power of overcoming challenges and discusses her observations on how gender norms impact training environments. Rebecca’s insights highlight the importance of fostering self-confidence through resilience and adaptability, as well as the value of introspection in breaking down mental barriers.
This moment of forgetting always begins with a thought that you’re somehow different, morally speaking, than the rest of the crowd. That guy didn’t signal when he changed lanes. I always signal. That car could’ve made the light—I would’ve been quicker. I am always very efficient with overhead bin space.
~ David Cain, from You Aren’t In the Crowd, You Are the Crowd
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It’s been a long time since I‘ve gotten upset about crowds (of any sort.) But there was a time when stuck in traffic, or held up by a crowd, etc. really pushed my buttons.
Now I just feel sympathy for everyone who is in the crowd, (as I am as well,) but who doesn’t yet realize it.
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Most people tend to think in terms of dichotomies: strong or weak, hardball or softball, win or lose. But that kind of thinking is fundamentally flawed. It’s based on power and position rather than on principle. Win/Win is based on the paradigm that there is plenty for everybody, that one person’s success is not achieved at the expense or exclusion of the success of others.
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Renunciation is one of ten trainable qualities known traditionally as the paramis (the others being generosity, resolve, patience, morality, effort, insight, loving-kindness, equanimity and truthfulness).
~ David Cain, from The Joy of Opting Out
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This feels—perhaps—like a more nuanced version of my, “just say no to everything,” theme for 2019. That may should harsh, but it’s not. I say, “yes,” to many many things. When I try to say, “no,” to everything, I end up saying, “yes,” to only one-many things.
I’m not a Buddhist by any stretch of the imagination. So I’m not about to take up the paramis as an explicit practice. But the idea of actively renouncing things gives me a positive practice; something I can actively do, rather than something I have to avoid doing.
If you have an elephant problem, “don’t think of a pink elephant,” isn’t going to help. “Just say no,”—despite it’s possible utility as a drug use prevention program—isn’t working very well for my problem. So instead, “think of flowers,” works better for the elephant problem.
So maybe, today I can practice keeping space.
Also…
The solution is simple and difficult.
We can turn it off.
If it’s not getting you what you need or want, turn it off for a few hours.
~ Seth Godin from, https://seths.blog/2017/10/the-engine-of-our-discontent/
Hear! Hear! …and, once more, louder for those in the back!
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What can be done to better understand and improve the experience of women in parkour?
Naomi Honey and Melissa Way discuss the importance of women’s experience in parkour, what that means, and how society impacts it. They dig into the unicorn syndrome, the polarization of genders, and how community leaders can help get more women involved. Naomi and Melissa tackle why women’s only events are important, how to create a welcoming environment, and their experiences with unsolicited advice.
I really remember when I was younger, I always thought my arms weren’t skinny like some people’s— oh, it just sounds so ridiculous, but I remember I had that in my head as a benchmark. And then suddenly when I was doing parkour, and when I got my first pull up, it was so exciting. And then suddenly I had a new measure of, oh my God, who cares what they look like? Look what they can do!
~ Naomi Honey (15:00)
The conversation focuses on the experience of women in parkour, emphasizing the unique challenges they face, from differences in physical progression to societal expectations around physical ability. There is discussion around how women’s-only events create supportive spaces that counteract feelings of intimidation or isolation, helping women find community and confidence.
Another key theme is the mindset shift from focusing on aesthetics to valuing functional strength and ability, which parkour uniquely encourages. This change contrasts with societal pressures around appearance, which often disproportionately affect women. The issue of unsolicited advice is also explored, highlighting how it can be well-intentioned but often carries different implications for women, sometimes reinforcing negative stereotypes rather than offering helpful insight.
Here’s a terrific conversation with Werner Herzog and Jesse Thorn on The Turnaround.
Herzog’s opinion is that one must never go unprepared; always go maximally prepared. But I’m wondering how going in unprepared works with trying to capture conversations that contain the wonder of discovery [by the host.]
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The degree to which we have developed our independent will in our everyday lives is measured by our personal integrity. Integrity is, fundamentally, the value we place on ourselves. It’s our ability to take and keep commitments to ourselves, to “walk our talk.” It’s honor with self, a fundamental part of the Character Ethic, the essence of proactive growth.
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