If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.
~ Betty Reese
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Effective →
Two people is magical →
I often find things scattered about which make little connections appear in my mind. That’s literally what the word composition means when it’s used in the context of writing and literature; writing which composes something new from some number of other things already found. This little missive has been laying in the pile of such things for far too long… and so I’m putting up here to see where it leads us.
Way back in March of 2021 I listened to this podcast episode:
Decoding the Patterns of Human Connection with Marissa King from the Masters of Community podcast, March 22, 2021.
Around 46 minutes in David Spinks asks…
Marissa King: What she found is people consistently underestimated how much their partner was enjoying the conversation. So the short answer to this is you’re actually more likable than you think just the way you are.
David Spinks: That’s really interesting. What are the steps then? …for somebody to become a better conversationalist?
Marissa: Do they just have to become aware of that fact, and stop worrying about it so much? I think that’s part of it. And what I try to do throughout my book is actually to give people the tools of social science to allow them to apply this in their own life. […] So for instance, imagine you’re walking into a cocktail party. What we know, based on human interaction is when I walk in, I often will just see a wall of people. […] But we know that people actually don’t just form walls, that they tend to form small groups or clusters. The question becomes, which cluster do you go to? And people will have all sorts of different ways of choosing this. […] It turns out, that people are in these clusters, because of just the way that humans are built, that we have two eyes, and we have two ears, almost all conversation actually happens in dyads—groups of two. And because of this, if you look for an odd number group, whether it’s 1, 3, 5, 7… When you join that conversation, you’re giving someone else a conversational partner, and so you’re really creating balance. […] oftentimes if you apply this, or you imagine that you are one of these people who feel this aversion, or you feel like I don’t know how to do this, by applying these basic tools, it actually allows you to engage in these types of activities more comfortably.
(I did that transcription by hand and edited it all lightly for clarity.)
That show is all about communities. It’s intended for community builders, managers and moderators. A lot of its content is about health and wellness, as well as the more obvious topics of strategies and tactics for community building.
But this part of this episode really grabbed my attention from my “I record conversations with people” podcast creator point-of-view.
TWO PEOPLE
I’ve long believed that two is the perfect number of people in a podcast. Yes, there are exceptional instances of podcasts with the other numbers of people in them. But there’s magic in two.
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PS: In the above, that small idea about “composition”… that came from some other reading which I unpacked in, Thank you Miss Merrill.
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A simple recipe →
Based on everything I’ve seen, a simple recipe can work: Focus on what’s in front of you, design great days to create a great life, and try not to make the same mistake twice. That’s it. Stop hitting net balls and try something else, perhaps even the opposite. If you really want extra credit, try not to be a dick, and you’ll be a Voltron-level superstar.
~ Tim Ferriss
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The power broker →
To paraphrase Jim [Loehr]: The power broker in your life is the voice that no one ever hears. How well you revisit the tone and content of your private voice is what determines the quality of your life. It is the master storyteller, and the stories we tell ourselves are our reality. For instance, how do you speak to yourself when you make a mistake that upsets you? Would you speak that way to a dear freind when they’ve made a mistake? If not, you have work to do. Trust me, we all have work to do.
~ Tim Ferriss
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Smallest possible pieces →
Excellence is the next five minutes, improvement is the next five minutes, happiness is the next five minutes. This doesn’t mean you ingore planning. I encourage you to make ambitious plans. Just rememeber that the big-beyond-belief things are accomplished when you deconstruct them into the smallest possible pieces and focus on each “moment of impact,” one step at a time.
~ Tim Ferriss
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Success →
To laugh often and much, to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children […] to leave the world a bit better […] to know even one life has breathed easier because you lived. This is to have succeeded
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Tribe of Mentors →
Ferriss’s Tribe of Mentors was published in 2017, and arrived in my collection as a gift in 2018. It took me three years—until 2021, March of this year in fact—before I was finally ready to read it. I have a couple, (and “couple” always means two,) of things to say about the book.
Excellence is the next five minutes, improvement is the next five minutes, happiness is the next five minutes. This doesn’t mean you ingore planning. I encourage you to make ambitious plans. Just rememeber that the big-beyond-belief things are accomplished when you deconstruct them into the smallest possible pieces and focus on each “moment of impact,” one step at a time.
~ Tim Ferriss
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As I was reading, I marked about 50 quotes. I didn’t count the markers I inserted, and some of them are at sections with several quotes. There are quotes from the people in the book, there are quotes that Ferriss included in single-page, “quotes I’m pondering” section breaks, and there are precisely three quotes from Ferriss himself. (All three are here, in this post.)
The first thing I want to share about this book is that it’s not really Ferriss’s book. He didn’t write a book. The vast bulk is other people’s work and writing. Some of those people impressed me, some were “just” solid humans being their best, and some struck me as self-deluded; which makes it a superlative book. Where—let’s be honest—can one get insight on 100 different people and tuck it under your arm? Insight on people you’ve heard of, people you’ve not yet heard of, and even some people you’ll probably never care to hear of. Furthermore, having myself done a bunch of, “you’re just capturing what other people say,” work, I’m qualified to say: He did the deceptively difficult work of asking. He asked and followed up and nudged and organized (and indexed and cross-indexed) and cast light on people he thought were worth giving a platform.
To paraphrase Jim [Loehr]: The power broker in your life is the voice that no one ever hears. How well you revisit the tone and content of your private voice is what determines the quality of your life. It is the master storyteller, and the stories we tell ourselves are our reality. For instance, how do you speak to yourself when you make a mistake that upsets you? Would you speak that way to a dear freind when they’ve made a mistake? If not, you have work to do. Trust me, we all have work to do.
~ Tim Ferriss
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Which brings me to the second thing: There’s a very slim section hiding at the back. If I noted its existence when I read the Table of Contents, (I always read Tables of Contents,) six months later I’d certinaly forgotten the section existed. I could very easily have put the book down most of the way through and completely missed it. If you read nothing else in the book, this last section is the part you should read. I checked and it’s not published as a blog post by Ferriss, (but it’s small enough it could be.) Borrow or buy the book if just to read the last section.
Based on everything I’ve seen, a simple recipe can work: Focus on what’s in front of you, design great days to create a great life, and try not to make the same mistake twice. That’s it. Stop hitting net balls and try something else, perhaps even the opposite. If you really want extra credit, try not to be a dick, and you’ll be a Voltron-level superstar.
~ Tim Ferriss
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If you’ve not already guessed, all three of those quotes from Ferriss are from the last section of the book.
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Opportunity with Stacey Cordivano →
How do podcasts create opportunities for connection, learning, and personal growth?
Exploring how veterinarians use podcasting to promote well-being and personal development.
We don’t take care of ourselves very well. We focus on the caregiving for the animal and for the owner and we tend to put ourselves last, so my podcast focuses on well-being and personal development.
~ Stacey Cordivano (8:03)
The conversation examines how podcasting fosters connections and opportunities for growth. It discusses how starting a podcast can lead to new professional and personal relationships, opening doors to collaboration and unexpected outcomes. Stacey reflects on the challenges and rewards of podcasting, emphasizing the importance of consistent effort and feedback from the audience. She also note how social media has complemented these efforts, particularly within niche communities like veterinary professionals.
Another focus of the discussion is the unique perspective veterinarians bring to podcasting, rooted in their caregiving nature and their need to adapt and problem-solve. Stacey shares how her podcast addresses mental health and personal development within the veterinary field, aiming to provide resources and insights that are not typically emphasized in their professional training. She also highlight the joy of learning and how their podcast keeps them accountable and motivated.
Curiosity with Flynn Disney →
What role does curiosity play in shaping movement, interactions, and personal growth?
The nuanced relationship between uncertainty and opportunity defines how we engage with challenges.
If you protect yourself from all uncertainty, maybe you are protecting yourself from falling down a well or getting eaten by a bear, but you’re also protecting yourself from love.
~ Flynn Disney (8:05)
The conversation begins with an exploration of curiosity as a driving force behind personal growth and movement practices. Curiosity is described as a positive sense of uncertainty, where individuals embrace the unknown with hope rather than fear. This attitude ties directly to embodied experiences, where physical movement reflects the mental and emotional processes involved in navigating uncertainty.
The discussion touches on boundaries, games, and goals, emphasizing their roles in learning and engagement. A notable insight is the idea that boundaries create meaning in challenges, as seen in activities like parkour and games. The interplay of failure and success, described as the resolution of uncertainty, is vital for developing curiosity and staying motivated. Personal anecdotes, such as training dogs and solving puzzles, highlight how curiosity manifests across diverse contexts.
Banish it →
Named your fear must be before banish you can.
~ Yoda, in Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith, (2005 novel)
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