Conversation with Helena Roth

Published November 4, 2021 · All posts on Nov 4

What makes a conversation meaningful and how does one cultivate the skill of engaging in impactful dialogue?

The interplay between coaching and conversational skills reveals itself in surprising ways.

[I]t’s more towards the other [end] in my podcast. […] There hasn’t been an agenda. There hasn’t been a set timeframe. There hasn’t been any, ‘this is what we need to get through, or the goal we need to reach, or anything.’ And, surprisingly, you know it’s gone really well.

~ Helena Roth (1:07)

This conversation explores the dynamics of creating meaningful dialogues, with an emphasis on curiosity and presence. Helena and Craig discuss the distinction between structured interviews and organic conversations, highlighting the challenges and rewards of allowing spontaneity to guide the flow. Insights are shared about how to cultivate an environment where natural exchanges can thrive, contrasting the vibrancy of unplanned dialogue with the rigidity of pre-set agendas.

They touch upon the art of listening and the interplay of coaching principles in conversations, including withholding judgment and fostering genuine curiosity. Reflections on well-known podcasting styles illustrate the impact of personal involvement in interviews. Practical techniques, like recording from the first moments to capture authenticity, also surface, underscoring the importance of preparation in producing organic conversations.

Takeaways

Curiosity as a driver — Authentic conversations are fueled by genuine curiosity rather than adherence to rigid formats.

Judgment in dialogue — Skilled conversationalists avoid answering on behalf of others, allowing responses to unfold naturally.

Role of presence — Effective hosts contribute by being present and engaged without necessarily steering the dialogue.

Structured vs. unstructured — A discussion on how agenda-free formats can yield unexpected depth and resonance.

Coaching and listening — Coaching techniques enrich dialogue by emphasizing open-ended questions and a non-intrusive approach.

Recording strategy — Starting recordings immediately helps capture authentic moments often lost in staged setups.

The vitality of conversation — Lifeless exchanges often stem from transactional, pre-scripted interactions lacking spontaneity.

Reflection and evolution — Re-listening to past conversations reveals new insights, demonstrating the depth of recorded dialogues.

Resources

Walter Isaacson — A biographer known for his works on Steve Jobs and others; his style was critiqued in the conversation.

On Being with Krista Tippett — A podcast blending spiritual and intellectual inquiry, cited as an example of presence in dialogue.

Ocean Vuong — Poet and author, mentioned for a memorable conversation with Krista Tippett on “On Being.”

Tankespjärn — Helena Roth’s podcast emphasizing unscripted, organic conversations.

(Written with help from Chat-GPT.)

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Keep a notebook

Published November 4, 2021 · All posts on Nov 4

Keep a notebook. Travel with it, eat with it, sleep with it. Slap into it every stray thought that flutters up in your brain. Cheap paper is less perishable than gray matter. And lead pencil markings endure longer than memory.

~ Jack London

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Eggs and omelettes

Published November 4, 2021 · All posts on Nov 4

There is no angst. There is no disease, suffering, and death. There is no killing. There’s no lust or envy or avarice of pride. There are no eviction notices or IRS audits.

In other words, it isn’t real life.

~ Gaping Void from, «https://www.gapingvoid.com/blog/2021/07/19/the-power-of-culture/»

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But that’s particularly difficult to remember when you are the down-the-stairs end of something monsterous and the up-the-stairs person is going s l o w l y and futzing with their grip. Or when you are traffic. (My omission of the word “in” is intentional.) Or the queue at the security check point is crazy. The children on the bus are unruly. The tire goes flat. The microwave craps out. And on and on. Because it’s precisely in those moments that we choose what sort of person we want to be.

Presume good intent. Trust, (but verify. My fave Russian proverb, btw.) Everyone we meet is fighting a great battle. No one knows how hard I work—read that as “I” in your mind’s reading voice, so it really refers to yourself—therefore, I know not how hard others work. There are lots of ways to aphorize the sentiment, and I use every single one of them, every day, as I don the armor of the Angel of my Better Nature and try.

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Joy with Jayne Heggen

Published November 3, 2021 · All posts on Nov 3

How does the experience of podcasting, particularly with a focus on mentoring, allow for the exploration of meaningful stories and connections?

Mentoring bridges the gap between telling stories and finding solutions through shared experiences.

What mentoring does is, it tells stories about solutions. Which is way different from coaching, which is asking questions to get to solutions. Which is different from counseling, which is you’re asking questions to get to problems.

~ Jayne Heggen (8:44)

The conversation focuses on podcasting as a tool to explore and share meaningful stories, particularly through the lens of mentoring. Jayne shares how her background in radio contrasts with her current experiences in podcasting, highlighting the interactive and engaging nature of the latter. She discusses the challenges and opportunities in creating a successful podcast, emphasizing the importance of vulnerability, connection, and authenticity in storytelling.

Another key theme is mentoring, which is presented as a process of sharing experiences and perspectives to help others navigate their paths. Jayne differentiates mentoring from coaching and counseling, underscoring its unique role in offering solutions through storytelling. She explores how podcasting can amplify these stories, making them more accessible and impactful, while also reflecting on the balance between editing and preserving authenticity in recorded conversations.

Takeaways

Mentoring — A skill and passion that involves sharing experiences to guide others.

Storytelling — Central to mentoring, as it conveys lessons and solutions effectively.

Podcasting as Engagement — The interactive nature of podcasting fosters deeper connections.

Vulnerability — A key factor in successful podcast conversations and mentoring.

Authenticity in Editing — The importance of maintaining the mentor’s authentic voice while editing.

Superpowers — Unique personal experiences and skills make each mentor irreplaceable.

Resources

“The Greatest American Hero” — A classic 1980s TV show referenced as a metaphor for exploring one’s potential.

Business Process Reengineering — Mentioned as the guest’s professional background, focusing on aligning corporations with people-centric processes.

Jayne Heggen on LinkedIn

(Written with help from Chat-GPT.)

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Lunacy?

Published November 3, 2021 · All posts on Nov 3

But there’s a message all of our readers should appreciate: Blog posts are not enough to generate the deep fluency you need to truly understand or get better at something. We offer a starting point, not an end point.

~ Shane Parrish from, Blog Posts, Book Reviews, and Abstracts: On Shallowness

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First off, I totally read that as, “to generate the deep lunacy …” which is probably closer to the truth than I’d like to admit for my own blog if one tries to just read it. Second, this is so meta. I’m writing a blog post about a blog post that is referring to the other posts on that same blog.

I’ve said this sort of thing before, but it bears repeating: On this blog, I’m showing my process of reflection. I would get the exact same benefit if I did all this writing, and pressed delete instead of publish. (With the notable exception that I do also use my blog as an archive to re-find things.) But I make no claim that simply reading this blog will do anything for you. “Look! Here are my footprints, stumbles, side tracks and snow angels in the woods.” Maybe you can see some art, or some fun, or whatever. But the whole point of having it out there for you to read is to encourage you to do your own reflection.

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Maybe I should walk back?

Published November 2, 2021 · All posts on Nov 2

As autumn settles in where I am, I’ve been looking ahead to winter with longer nights, brisk days, etc.. I also looked back at the shape I’ve been in in years past. I’m not lamenting, “if only I had my youth back.” Rather, just thinking about health, movement, and what would be the minimum effective dosage of some exercise to move me in the direction I want. (That DuckDuckGo link should make you wonder why a medical-sounding phrase is used most relating to exercise not medicine, and strength training in particular.)

Sometimes—by which I mean any time running comes up—I say that running is both the best thing for me, and the form of activity I hate most. Both of which are untrue. What’s actually best for me is zone-2 aerobic exercise and that’s sometimes what I get when I run. It’s best for me, because that is the main driver of base fitness until you get well up into being a competent athlete. But usually, being quite over-weight at the moment, any running drives my heart-rate above the surprisingly low/slow zone-2. The second part about hating it is also untrue. It turns out that one time—the one single day apparently—that I was ever in shape, I enjoyed running. I was walking, the weather was beautiful, and I had an irresistible urge to run, (and so I did.) But, literally, that happened once.

Anyway. It’ll suffice to say: I spent a few weeks recently thinking about going full-on nerd with zone-2 training. To do it right requires planning, scheduling, and—sources vary—between 150 to 180 minutes exercising each week. And warm-up and cool-down time are not included in those weekly times. Honestly, the deal-breaker was I’m seriously pissed at FitBit, (and their watches are useless without a FitBit account,) and I refuse to spend many-hundreds on an Apple watch. Also, my $30 Timex is nicer, for my definition of “nicer.”

My thinking continued, and eventually I thought: I should just walk back from Mordor.

…except this time I’m not going to bother trying to track the actual mileage. Just walk as many days as I can. Listen to some podcasts some of the time. And basically just stroll along thinking, “If this isn’t nice…“

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Eureka

Published October 30, 2021 · All posts on Oct 30

But this moment cannot come without the days of frustration at the blackboard. “You can’t really blame the storytellers,” Rockmore writes, “It’s not so exciting to read ‘and then she studied some more.’ But this arduous, mundane work is a key part of the process.”

~ Cal Newport from, On the Myth of Big Ideas – Cal Newport

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And Niels Bohr said something similar about Painful experience. And I bet your experience agrees. I know mine does.

Nobody sees how much time I spend working on podcasting. Every facet is complicated. I’m regularly noticing new things, picking up interesting skills and ideas from nearby areas of expertise. Structural wisdom from the field of authors. Empathic skills from the field of therapists. New kinds of questions from the field of hosts. New vocal skills from the field of speakers. And teachers and mechanics and on and on.

The eureka moments get the attention but they’re very few and very far between.

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Difficult questions

Published October 29, 2021 · All posts on Oct 29

What would be a good question to ask? How do I evaluate a potential question, in real time during a conversation, to decide if it’s good? What can I do to make this guest enjoy this conversation? In the same vein: What should I do? And what, if anything, must I do? What does this person really want to talk about? What don’t they want to talk about? And if I figured that out, is the right thing to, to honor their desire to avoid it, or to help them face it? Can I help them more by letting them find their own energy level, or by trying to help them change their energy level? Would calming down enable them to communicate more effectively? Would riling them up help them work through their feelings? Should we explore how they are feeling, or how this event we’re discussing made them feel? Should I be more open, and share more with them? Or would my consuming our time doing that, block them from doing what they need to do, or from saying what they need to say? Should we be having more fun? Should we be more serious? Should we instead do the opposite, (make light of a serious subject, or vice versa,) of that society would normally expect? Should I ask them a deep question? Should I ask a question on the same line-of-thought and take us even deeper? Deeper a third time? Or should I pivot to indicate that I want to follow them, not drive them into a corner?

What’s that? …oh, you thought I was going to be talking about the actual questions one might ask another person. Yeah no that’s another question altogether. :)

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Questions with Sebastián Ruiz Jiménez

Published October 28, 2021 · All posts on Oct 28

Questions with Sebastián Ruiz Jiménez

How does exploring one’s center and asking questions influence personal growth and understanding?

Asking the right questions transforms challenges into opportunities for growth.

I think that a way to find creativity and inspiration is, try to read something, try to see something that is not what you usually see, that is not what you usually do. Make yourself feel uncomfortable, and make yourself feel comfortable in the uncomfortable.

~ Sebastián Ruiz Jiménez (2:30)

The discussion explores the concept of finding one’s center and how this aligns with personal growth. Sebastián emphasizes the importance of stepping outside comfort zones to spark creativity and curiosity. He shares insights on seeking inspiration through diverse experiences, such as books, podcasts, and challenging unfamiliar activities.

The conversation also touches on the importance of asking meaningful questions, both of oneself and others, to uncover purpose and direction. Philosophical principles, movement practices, and mindfulness techniques are interwoven to illustrate how individuals can align their actions with deeper values. Practical lessons, like maintaining good technique in physical training, underscore the need for balance and awareness.

Takeaways

Finding inspiration — Engage with unfamiliar or challenging ideas to spark creativity.

The importance of questions — Use questions to challenge assumptions and uncover deeper understanding.

Solid foundations — Build strong roots and bases to support sustainable growth.

Teaching through challenges — Encourage self-discovery by posing questions and fostering problem-solving.

Movement as a center — Align physical and mental practices with a central guiding principle.

Mindfulness in action — Maintain awareness by centering thoughts and actions in everyday life.

Avoiding injury — Prioritize proper technique and self-awareness to prevent harm.

Philosophical connections — Relate ideas from philosophy to practical life applications.

Resources

Simon Sinek — Author of “Start With Why” and creator of the Golden Circle framework, emphasizing the importance of purpose in personal and professional contexts.

Start With Why — A book by Simon Sinek that discusses the power of understanding “why” to drive inspiration and success.

Peace Revolution — A meditation project by a Buddhist foundation in Thailand, promoting inner peace as a foundation for sustainable world peace.

Rise of the Guardians — An animated film by DreamWorks that explores themes of purpose and identity through characters like Santa Claus and Jack Frost.

CrossFit — A functional fitness training program combining strength and conditioning, emphasizing holistic body movement.

Sebastián Ruiz Jiménez on LinkedIn

(Written with help from Chat-GPT.)

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Empathy with Scott Perry

Published October 28, 2021 · All posts on Oct 28

How can individuals harness empathy, creativity, and purpose to achieve personal fulfillment and make meaningful contributions to others?

Empathy becomes a transformative practice when it evolves from effort into compassionate action.

Empathy is really hard. It requires a lot of effort to put your—to see, hear, and understand someone for where they are.

~ Scott Perry (9:33)

The conversation explores how authentic, engaging conversations can foster personal clarity, growth, and meaningful connections. It highlights the value of leveraging creativity and podcasting as tools for understanding oneself and one’s purpose. Insights from Akimbo courses and personal experiences underscore the importance of community and serendipity in learning.

Empathy and its connection to compassion are central themes, with a detailed discussion on how understanding others can lead to actionable support. Stoicism emerges as a guiding philosophy, offering practical wisdom for navigating life with intention and resilience. Gratitude and generosity are emphasized as foundational practices for improving one’s mindset and relationships.

Takeaways

Conversations as way-finding tools — Engaging with others can help clarify personal goals and purpose.

Empathy and compassion — Empathy requires effort, but it can lead to actionable compassion that benefits all involved.

Gratitude practices — Simple acts of daily gratitude can enhance mood and perspective.

The value of a compass — Instead of following predefined paths, individuals should develop their own compass to navigate life.

Stoicism as guidance — Stoicism provides actionable principles for resilience and intentional living.

Creative endeavors — Sharing one’s creativity through podcasting and blogging supports personal exploration and connection.

Learning through community — Collaborating within a community accelerates learning and idea refinement.

Resources

Creative on Purpose — Scott Perry’s platform for helping individuals find purpose and fulfillment.

Scott Perry on LinkedIn

Marcus Aurelius’s Meditations — A stoic guide for living with intention and integrity.

altMBA — A workshop designed to foster leadership and personal growth.

(Written with help from Chat-GPT.)

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