Craig Constantine

What, really, is the final boss?

January 13, 2023

“The problem is…”, is such a great phrase. When I hear it, I begin to smile. Unless I just said it, in which case I twitch and remind myself that the really hard part [of anything you want to discuss] is defining exactly what the problem is. A well-defined problem is such a difficult and rare thing. And here’s a fun article from “Dynomight” that plays with just how hard it is to figure out what the problem actually is, Candidate Final Bosses.

Just to be clear: We’re talking about “final boss”, as in the video game context meaning of the phrase. In the classic, journey-of-adventure towards some goal, video game, things get harder and harder and harder until… you have to face the final boss, in the final battle.

I’m still playing Myst

December 5, 2021

I always liked those weird exploration games from the 1980s and 90s, like Zork and Myst, where you wake up in a strange environment, with no idea where you are or even who you are. You have to gather the context from the inside out, by wandering around, pushing buttons, peering behind wall paintings, and reading notes left by strangers who were here before you.
~ David Cain from, https://www.raptitude.com/2021/08/nothing-really-has-a-name/

I don’t think I can really explain it. You either know what Myst is, (and it ate months of your waking hours,) and so know what he means; Or you don’t. “I like those games because that’s exactly what it’s to be a human being, if you think about it.” I hadn’t until I read it. But, zoinks, he’s right. The feeling I have in the middle of a great conversation is the same feeling I had exploring Myst, and while exploring all those other things Cain mentions learning about.

Speaking of Pac Man

July 15, 2021

When Pac-Man needs a break from his endless cycle of hunger and pain, there is a simple trick he can use. When a new level starts, move Pac-Man one space to the right and three spaces up, then stop; the ghosts will leave him alone for about fifteen minutes or so. So when you’re feeling like life is completely hopeless (and it is), find yourself a cozy little corner to cry in. I can’t guarantee that your demons will leave you alone for at least fifteen minutes, but you’ll feel a lot better regardless.
~ Syd Lexia from, http://www.sydlexia.com/pac-nihilism.htm

Turns out… Pac Man is an accurate simulation of your meaningless life.

My dad and I dropped bajillions of quarters into cabinet games back in the day. I can still vocalize Pac Man’s little jingle… bloo-dee doo-dee doodle-eedle doodle-eedle doo! wa ka wa ka wa ka wa ka wa ka wa ka wa ka wa ka wa ka wa ka wa ka wa ka wa ka wa ka wa ka wa ka wa ka wa ka wa ka wa ka wa ka wa ka wa ka wa ka wa ka wa ka wa ka wa ka bee-ooh ee-oo ee-oo ee-oo ee-oo oop!