Mistakes in thinking about the future

One of the most liberating discoveries I ever had was that thinking has an insidious snowball effect. Thoughts trigger other thoughts, and if your initial thought carries even a hint of insecurity or worry, subsequent thoughts can explore it and magnify it until you’re profoundly agitated. You can end up pulling your hair out and dreading the rest of your life, just from idle thinking.

~ David Cain from, Three Typical Mistakes in Thinking About the Future

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The snowball effect is probably my biggest problem. Small things—now that I think about it, it’s always small set-backs—kick off these long trains of thinking.

Have you ever heard a freight train start to move? It’s called “stretching out” because every rail car adds a few inches of slop… space in the couplers, etc. If you’re at the front, you hear the engine throttle up, and this crashing sound starts at the engine and moves away along the train.

If you’re not at the front, if you’re just somewhere randomly along the train, what you hear is this eerie, rolling-crashing invisible monster that comes tearing along at high speed and goes past you, but nothing is moving. Yet.

This reminds me of my trains of thought. They start with the first nudge of negative thought which sets this terrible monster running along the train. At first, nothing appears to be moving. But slowly that nightmare train begins to move, and if it gets up to speed it can take me days to recover from the ensuing disaster.

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Existential boredom

Toohey argues that boredom, unlike primary emotions like happiness, sadness, fear, anger, surprise, or disgust, takes a secondary role, alongside “social emotions” like sympathy, embarrassment, shame, guilt, pride, jealousy, envy, gratitude, admiration, and contempt. He delineates between two main types of boredom — simple boredom, which occurs regularly and doesn’t require that you be able to name it, and existential boredom, a grab-bag condition that is “neither an emotion, nor a mood, nor a feeling” but, rather, “an impressive intellectual formulation” that has much in common with depression and is highly self-aware, something Toohey calls the most self-reflective of conditions.

~ Maria Papova, from The Cultural History and Adaptive Function of Boredom

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In that article, there’s an interesting list of self-assessment statements—one of those self-assessments where you rate your level of agreement with each statement, total your points, and see where the Sorting Hat places you on a spectrum of total scores. There was a time not so long ago when I would have immediately answered the questions, totalled my score, and investigated the implications of where I had been sorted.

It would have gone like this: For each question, “here’s my current level of agreement to this statement, …what should it be? …how do I move in that direction?” For the total score, “here’s where I am on this spectrum [of resistence to boredom], should I and could I move along the spectrum?” There would also have been enormous effort to consider the statements themselves, the methods used to compose them, are they the right tools to evaluate sorting within the spectrum, does the spectrum make sense, and so on. It would have all been very much analyze-then-act, all very much forward-looking—I’m at situation/position ‘A’ and how do I move towards ‘B’?

But when I read this article I had a completely new experience.

Novel. First time. Startling.

I read the statement, “in situations where I have to wait, such as in line, I get very restless.” My reaction was not, “score, 0, strongly disagree.” I had a flash of a feeling. A moment where I felt transported—not metaphorically speaking, but rather I felt myself standing in line at the post office. I could see it, hear it, the people, the employees, etc.

AND IT WAS PLEASANT

Pleasant in the way laying in a hammock in afternoon sun dappled through a tree’s leaves is pleasant. Pleasant, as in I felt a tiny pang of regret to realize my feet are currently chilly [winter, wood stove, hardwood floors; it’s not unpleasant, just visceral] and to be standing up on them would be nicer. Pleasant, as in it would be interesting to hear the small slices of Regular Life—yes, even the ill-behaved children and adults distracted on their phones—you get standing in a queue. Pleasant, as in…

Wait wat? “zero, strongly disagree” …and I was snapped back into at least vaguely gauging wether I was disagreeing or agreeing with the statements [I was all over the map by the way] as I skimmed the list before I moved on from the article.

‘Curiouser and curiouser,’ said Alice.

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The only way out is through

But that won’t work. The “sickness” is not that some nasty people have come into power, but that human beings across the board are still working primarily from their stone-age instincts. The detractors of The Establishment are just as consumed by their own needs for personal power, righteousness, security and social dominance as the people they so proudly hate.

~ David Cain from, If Society is Sick, What Should We Do About It?

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To some extent, this article is cynical. Although, it’s not nearly as cynical as this pull-quote I’ve selected makes it sound.

After reading it, what interests me is the idea that the more difficult path of wading into the society—as opposed to trying to remain “untainted” by it—may be the correct course of action. I like the idea that, yes, there is a great deal wrong with humans, but nothing so wrong that can’t be fixed through the continued application of some compassion, reason, and logic (in no particular order.) I used to think it’d be easy to be happy if I was just in an idyllic environment, but that continuing to strive in a lesser environment was to take the higher road. But in more recent years I’ve been thinking that it may not be possible to be truly happy in an idyllic environment; that having something against which to measure oneself may be a necessary component of happiness.

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Clutter and focus

When your environment is cluttered, the chaos restricts your ability to focus. The clutter also limits your brain’s ability to process information. Clutter makes you distracted and unable to process information as well as you do in an uncluttered, organized, and serene environment.

~ Erin Doland from, «https://unclutterer.com/2011/03/29/scientists-find-physical-clutter-negatively-affects-your-ability-to-focus-process-information/»

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My personal experience agrees. Having spaces set aside for whatever-it-is-you-want-to-do pays off. Sometimes that’s a dedicated space. But sometimes it’s a space which has multiple purposes, which I somehow convert when I’m changing uses.

Having a space which I intend to be uncluttered also gives me the opportunity to clean it up and prepare it for the activity. Sometimes I’m just not feeling the vibe I need to begin whatever-it-is, and taking a few minutes to prepare the space — and maybe prepare some coffee too ;) — puts me into a focused and energized mood.

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Insight

The greatest revelations are not when you discover something new and profound, but when you actually apply something you already “knew.” That is when information becomes real wisdom. Only then is it finally able to change who you are instead of just what you think.

~ David Cain from, Insight Is Not Enough

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I’ve been referring often to David Cain’s writing recently. Nothing wrong with that per se; it’s great stuff that makes me think. Anyway, you may wonder why that happens. Why do I seem to run in dashes of particular source material. It has to do with how I queue up reading material. I’ve some interesting hacks that I hope one day to share with the world. I hope.

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Insecurity

This entry is part 68 of 72 in the series My Journey

The problem comes from how we deal with the feeling of insecurity. We might curl up and hide, lash out at someone in a hurtful way, harden our rigid views of the world so that everyone else is wrong and we’re continually angry. We might procrastinate and run to distraction, use social media to avoid feeling insecurity, try to control others or the world around us to end the feeling of insecurity.

~ Leo Babauta from, The Guide to Insecurities You’ve Been Waiting For

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I have been lucky—repeatedly over the course of several years—to have had Leo Babauta’s writing available to me. One theme that he repeats is the idea of being kind to one’s self.

The insecurity that I’m not good enough, in my own judgement, is deeply held. I regularly and often flee to easy comforts; it’s been many things over the years, but in the most recent years, it is food.

Not often enough, but sometimes, I find a way to practice being kind to myself. One that works well is: “Spend 30 minutes balancing on a rail. If you fall, simply get back on. Take your time. Be kind to yourself.” Each time I do this I know I will reach a barter-stage where I’m ready to be done. Each time I do this I know I will fall off often—it’s hard for me to even leave out the word “too,” from the phrase, “fall off too often.” Each time I do this it makes me sweat from the physical effort not from, (for example,) the fear. I do fear that some day this exercise will no longer work for me.

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Do you value your time?

Do you value your own time?

Do you actually do the math?

Suppose there was something you spent 10 minutes on per week that you could avoid doing—some chore you could eliminate. How much money is that amount of your time worth?

The first step is to value your time and it turns out this is rather hard to do. But just investing the time to think about it will shift the way you think about the way you spend your time. A few ways to put some brackets on how much you—not others—value your time.

If you know a specific hourly rate for your job, you could multiply that by 10. (The thinking being that you’re willing to sell that time at a HUGE discount because you’re gauranteed to be able to sell large amounts of it, on a well-known and convenient schedule. It’s a market balance between you and your employer.) Another possible valuation is to imagine some task you would hate; maybe it’s shoveling out latrines… and that you had to do an entire 8 hour shift of that; what hourly rate would you want? Or take your total current take-home annual income and divide by a “sane” 40-hours a week of work times 48 weeks and divide it out to get an hourly rate. Again multiple by how much you think you’re selling it at a discount based on the market forces with your employer.

Just doing the “how much is my time worth” math is valuable. Now, suppose you came up with $500/hr. (Which is a pretty reasonable amount for a reasonable human being in my opinion. Remember, this isnt how much cash you can earn at your job in an hour; this is how much do you value your time.)

That 10 minute per week task times 52 weeks? …that’s $4,300 per year of value that you “regain” by stopping that activity.

Suggested exercise: Do the math for your intentional hobbies and discover how irrelevant the physical costs are. Do the math for your “time wasting” activities and you discover how much you value your down-time, etc..

Update March 2019: Here’s something apropos from Seth Godin, Making Big Decisions About Money.

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Silent flute

I wish neither to possess,
Nor to be possessed.
I no longer covet paradise,
More important, I no longer fear hell.

The medicine for my suffering
I had within me from the very beginning,
But I did not take it.
My ailment came from within myself,
But I did not observe it
Until this moment.

Now I see that I will never find the light
Unless, like the candle, I am my own fuel,
Consuming myself.

~ Bruce Lee from, The Silent Flute

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Cord’s closing speech from The Silent Flute.

(hat tip: Martial Artist of Life by J Little.)

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Learning to say no

How to Say “No” Gracefully and Uncommit (#328)

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This is a two-chapter excerpt from a book, The Disciplined Pursuit of Less, by Greg McKeown, a book about being an essentialist.

At the beginning of 2018 I latched onto the idea that by saying, “yes,” to something I am cutting off a nearly infinite number of opportunities. Whereas by saying, “no,” I am cutting off just one opportunity and leaving space for a nearly infinite number of other opportunities. That makes, “no,” the obviously better default answer, yes?

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Forgotten super-powers

Today we use tools without even thinking about it. Without a doubt, you are at this moment surrounded by (and draped in) all sorts of tools, equipment and technology. There are probably at least a dozen items in operation right now that are making your moment much better than it would otherwise be: clothing, writing utensils, computers, chairs, clocks, desks and eyeglasses for starters.

~ David Cain from, How to Enjoy Your Forgotten Superpowers

This is definitely an aspect of my Art du Déplacement, and self-improvement journey. I regularly—almost automatically now—run the train of thought he’s describing and it invariably serves me well.

In early 2018 I attended a winter retreat. On one morning, we all went out to hiking trails along a stream and water falls. It was snowy, cold, icy and sunny. I intentionally went in wool socks and my usual, minimalist running sneakers—with the insoles removed so there’s 2mm of rubber and nothing else between my socks and the world. I intentionally set out expecting wet feet (knee-deep snow in places), and my goal was to manage frost-nip and to enjoy the day. Result: Insane amounts of fun; New friends; Lessons learned; No injury; and I experienced a true winter-wonderland in a way I had never before.

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