Hugh Hollowell

Disenchanted with entertainment

April 10, 2023

I turned 50 this summer, a natural place to pause and reflect. If I’m lucky, I’m probably halfway through my adult years (I don’t count childhood – think of that as season 1, where we were underfunded and hadn’t found the plot yet). My work is changing some in my day job. Personally, some things have changed, and things that once were dreams are now off the table. So, transitions.

~ Hugh Hollowell, from «https://www.soverybeautiful.org/inertia-is-a-hell-of-a-drug/»

Alas, I think that link has already broken. (But the Internet Archive will have it.) I’ve chosen that quote simply because it’s the first time I’ve seen one’s childhood called “season 1.” That’s a sublime metaphor. Most modern, streaming shows have a horrible first season while the writers try to figure out what they’re even doing; Or they have a horrible second season where the first season was great and instead of having a good ending they’re continuing to worship the cash cow; So, generally horrible overall then.

The real difference between those good shows and bad, is whether or not they do what movies do: Do they plan out the entire thing in advance? Movies can suck and they can morph into something entirely different from the initial vision, but they are a complete thing when seen. Which then suggests one reason why more movies are starting to suck. Their plan is to have the movie be an episode within a huge cinematic universe. *eye-roll*

Good entertainment is a good story told well. Good stories have an ending.

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I probably need to work on this

March 19, 2023

My life is always better when I treat myself as if I were someone I care about.

~ Hugh Hollowell from, «https://www.soverybeautiful.org/how-we-treat-ourselves/»

I’m really good at digging in and schlepping through the hard work. I’m really good at figuring out how to make three strange pieces fit together so these four people can make some progress on those five incompatible goals. Lift heavy things. Break a sweat. Get shit done. Go above and beyond. Get this letter to Garcia. Abuse English.

Know what I suck at? Treating myself as if I were someone I care about. Can I say, “no, thank you,” to some opportunity because I’m already overwhelmed? Can I take a nap in my hammock, without first spending significant time weighing the merits of giving in to passing out from exhaustion, versus just. work. a little. more. Can I choose to go do that fun thing with my friends, when my weekly plan says I should get some peak heart-rate workout time today? I’m often heard preaching about self-care, taking time to look back and think, “if this isn’t nice…” but, can I actually do those things?

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Full stop

January 29, 2023

Death is a declarative punctuation mark – a period in a life full of commas and semicolons. Death is a full stop, the end of opportunities for the deceased and those who knew them. Death is cruel like that.

~ Hugh Hollowell, from «https://www.soverybeautiful.org/if-we-love-we-grieve/»

I like the punctuation metaphor. I like the finality of the imagery. When I read that turn of phrase, I heard the sharp crack of a mechanical typewriter striking the period. I’m just not sure that the metaphor is apt for the experience of someone else’s death. That’s always been more like turning the page, midway through a book, and discovering the next face—and alas all the subsequent pages—are inexplicably blank. That’s not a period or an ellipses or even a highbrow em-dash. That’s just

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