I don’t know why, but I never learned to solve a Rubik’s Cube. I am exactly the right age; the durned things appeared on the scene just before I got to primary school and they were common in my high school. But I never got into it. I had one, of course. I pretty much immediately took it apart (very carefully) to see how it workedâ€¦ just honestly curious about how it worked, not trying to solve it. When I put it back together, I put it together in the solved state because it seemed obvious that if I put it together randomly it couldn’t be solved by then trying to rotation-solve it as usual.

Aside: Yes, of course I did. Any time I found a cube, I’d surreptitiously mechanically detach and flip a few pieces, and *then* scramble it. Few people are good enough to quickly figure out what has happened.

â€¦and then I *never* was interested in solving one after I understood how it *worked.* Tetris? Okay, yeah, that game ate years of my lifeâ€”because you can’t *solve* it, you just *do* it. Anyway, I’m 50 and I just got a Rubik’s Cube.

And what am I doing? Measuring it: Let’s call it 2.2 inches on an edge. How many of them are there? Wikipedia says 350,000,000. Crap, that’s a lot of plastic. How big a pile is that? How big are 350,000,000 2-inch cubes? â€¦and I was hoping Wolfram Alpha would give me units of Empire-State-Buildings or something. Instead, I learned something about the total number of Angels according to the Bible. (That should get you to click, no?)

What’s that? How many ESBs is it? â€¦oh, sorry, it’s 0.0583 ESB. I know right? We’ve only 6% filled the ESB with Rubik’s Cubes?! We need to ramp up production.

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