When Should I Admit That I Don’t Understand →

Published May 18, 2013  ·  All posts on May 18

Too often we are embarrassed to admit that we don’t understand what we are told. We don’t want to appear stupid to the speaker or others in the audience. But more people should ask questions, because others may be just as confused but not want to speak up. There is no shame in not understanding something, and it’s a good lesson to remember that. Asking for clarification not only helps both the speaker and listener communicate more effectively, it is also a powerful tool in revealing bullshit.

~ Ben Bradford from, The Wisdom of Not Understanding

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Bradford starts off talking about a terrible, new-agey, pseudo-science film which a friend was discussing with him. I’ve had that same conversation, about the same film. So I understand what he’s saying, and I understand the point he’s making. My issue with his assertion is that he doesn’t seem to make the distinction between when one doesn’t understand something versus when one doesn’t understand someone.

Something

This is an important distinction. When one encounters something dubious, confusing, or questionable, (such as the movie What the Bleep Do We Know,) admitting lack of understanding can lead to self-improvement. (yeah!)

[ walking out of a theatre ]
“Craig, what did you think of the movie?”
“Dude, I’m totally confused. How could Rosebud have been [redacted]? How did I miss that?!”
[ …conversation goes on. Happy friend. yeah! ]

Someone

On the other hand, when one encounters someone espousing dubious, confusing, or questionable ideas, one must tread carefully. Unilaterally saying, “I don’t understand,” to friends and family will come across as a back-handed insult. They will interpret, “I don’t understand,” to imply, “you are not making sense,” or worse, “you are stupid.” Bye-bye friends and family. (boo!)

[ entering the coffee shop ]
“Hey Craig, I saw this great movie! It was about a [redacted] named George Orwell and it was looking for some a citizen named Rosebud.”
“Dude, I’m totally confused. How can [redacted] be named George Orwell… I thought he wrote the movie script?”
[ …reflects negatively on friend. Friend is unhappy. boo! ]

Suddenly, (awesome film by the way,) I have to either smile and bear the nonsense, or start picking the nonsense apart bit by bit until my friend realizes they are confused and don’t understand.

I’ve sometimes, (often?,) been accused of lacking social skills. Nay, I suggest that some people’s signal-to-noise ratio is low, and I am simply not interested in fixing everyone I encounter.

(See also Megalomania. But, then, also Imposter Syndrome.)

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First, be okay with yourself →

Published May 16, 2013  ·  All posts on May 16

All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.

~ Blaise Pascal from, Pensées

There are many advantages to having some time alone, (while doing nothing,) each day. Not least of which is some inoculation against the disease of needing to be constantly distracted and entertained.

If you immediately fall asleep when sitting alone, excellent! Your body was trying to tell you it needed sleep, and you weren’t listening. Come back when you’ve finished your cat-nap.

…back? Refreshed?

If meditation seems inconceivable… If the idea of being alone, doing nothing, makes your skin crawl… then start with doing things alone, and work up from there.

You, like many people, might get stuck on the idea that being alone is like having some sort of disease—even if you’re the kind of person that prefers being alone. You might skip movies in the theater if you have to attend in solitude. Or maybe you criticize yourself for eating lunch at your desks instead of with coworkers or friends. Perhaps you spend too much of our time out with others because you just don’t know what to do when you’re by yourself. With a little work, however, you can make your alone time much more productive.

~ Adam Dachis from, How to Use Your Alone Time More Productively (and Actually Enjoy It)

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Network Engineering SE is now in public beta →

Published May 15, 2013  ·  All posts on May 15

http://networkengineering.stackexchange.com

NE is now in public beta, anyone may join.

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Just act like one →

Published May 14, 2013  ·  All posts on May 14

Want to be a man? By which I mean; honesty, integrity, reliability, rectitude, morality, moral fortitude, wisdom, knowledge, circumspection . . .

…uh, yeah, I wish I was more of those things.

Then just act like one. You don’t get to put this off until you feel like getting around to it.

I beat the drum about The Art of Manliness pretty regularly, and here are two more percussive suggestions:

Manliness Doesn’t Just Happen

Want to Feel Like a Man? Then Act Like One

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Strength and honor →

Published May 12, 2013  ·  All posts on May 12  ·  ,

Strength and honour my friend. Those 8 drams took 15 years to make, imagine how sweet your life will be in 15 years. In the making of that scotch parts of it were burned, chopped, boiled and pressured and with each stage gave it character and its appeal. Just like the scotch, life is better with character. Win or lose, never ever stop fighting.

~ unknown

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Law of sacrifice →

Published May 10, 2013  ·  All posts on May 10  ·  

Society today tries to deny the law of sacrifice at every turn, promising people that they can fulfill their desires without having to forsake anything at all. “Lose weight without giving up your favorite foods!” “Get ripped without long workouts!” “Get rich without having to work hard!” The denial of the law of sacrifice is at the heart of things like our soaring credit card debt (US citizens currently hold $886 billion of it), not to mention our national debt. The fantasy that you can have whatever you’d like without ever paying for it is an incredibly seductive fantasy.

But it is only a fantasy. There is always a price to pay.

~ Brett McKay from, The Law of Sacrifice

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“What does it cost?”

Over the years, I have talked to hundreds of prospective students who have walked into the dojo and asked about Aikido. One quickly learns that anyone who walks in, has some level of interest. So these are not cold sales calls where you need fast paced, hard hitting, sales tactics. People simply have some specific questions that need answering before the conversation continues to more general topics.

Some people are concerned about the monetary cost. That is important, and money should be discussed. But they should be much more concerned about the time cost of the commitment.

My explanation usually goes like this…

The cost of committing

One class per week is not often enough, and few people can withstand training more than three. So let’s say you’d like to come to class twice per week.

How much time is that? For each class you need at least one hour of padding — pack your bag, drive to the dojo, change before/after class, drive home, unpack, etc. Then the actual class time is about 2 hours per class. So three hours per class, twice per week: We’re talking about, six hours every week.

Now think about your life, and tell me about the six hours every week when you are alone, doing absolutely nothing.

So the real question is: What are you willing to give up from your current life to create those six free hours?

There’s no going back

Once you realize that your time is the limiting resource in your life, you’ll look at everything differently.

How much time do you spend watching TV? Is that time entertainment, family bonding, or what? Do you value anything more than entertainment?

How much time do you spend commuting to work? You clearly value something more than your time. (2 hours a day? 14 hours a week? . . .) What is it that you value so highly you’re willing to commute? …is it your children’s school district? …the size of your paycheck? …your career path?

Do you mow your own lawn? Do you pay someone to mow your lawn? Might you spend time mowing your lawn if it was mentally relaxing? …or if you push-mowed (sans motor) your lawn, and it was a means of exercise?

Do you get enough sleep at night? If not, why not? …are you spending time in the evening/night doing — what? Why do you value that activity more than sleep?

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Coffee as as Service (CaaS ?!) →

Published May 9, 2013  ·  All posts on May 9  ·  

I have a hard time keeping all the cloud terms straight. Everything seems to be available As A Service (aaS). Try as I might to explain them, it just didn’t click for some people. Since cloud terms are so nebulous some times, I decided I need to put everything in a context that people understand. Therefore, I present…Coffee as a Service (CaaS)

~ Tom Hollingsworth from, Coffee As A Service

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This will now be my go-to way of explaining the _aaS buzzword bingo. “I wish I had a… Oh! A cup of coffee!” aka SaaS. Brilliant!

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About the Aaron Swartz case →

Published May 8, 2013  ·  All posts on May 8

There are three things people get wrong about the prosecution and heartbreaking suicide of Aaron Swartz. Two of those things are about the criminal justice system. They’re disturbing, but not difficult to talk about. The third thing is about depression. It’s very difficult to talk about.

~ Ken White from, «http://www.popehat.com/2013/03/24/three-things-you-may-not-get-about-the-aaron-swartz-case/»

As usual, Ken at Popehat is a shining beacon of sanity and reason. Here he is talking about the Aaron Swartz Case.

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Network Engineering on Stack Exchange →

Published May 7, 2013  ·  All posts on May 7

Network Engineering on SE has gone to private beta! Free invites, just ask!

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Scheme Relative URLs →

Published May 6, 2013  ·  All posts on May 6  ·  

//example.com/img.png is a perfectly valid URI syntax as per RFC 3986: Section 4.2. It is relative to the current scheme, and … it can be very useful when switching between http and https, because you won’t need to explicitly specify the scheme.

~ Daniel Vassallo from, Network-Path Reference URI / Scheme relative URLs

How is it possible I’ve never learned this?

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