JAN 1 – The New Year dawns to a crisp winter morning. 3 inches of fresh snow adding to the snow that was already on the ground. This was the first “white Christmas” we have had in years. This new addition gives us a good snow cover. We clear the driveway quickly. It’s an easy job with everyone helping.
JAN 2 – 6 more inches of snow fell last night. I awakened to a beautiful winter wonderland. Snow covers everything and Jack Frost has decorated our windows. We clear the driveway again and have a snowball battle with the neighbors – WE WON! We are in awe of nature’s magnificent grandeur. Life is good. Them folks down south don’t know what they’re missing.
JAN 3 – Had to clear the end of the driveway because the snowplow pushed it closed. Also fixed the mailbox he knocked down. We all went for a walk in the snow and built a big snowman.
JAN 4 – 3 more inches of snow. Cleared the driveway again. No sooner finished, the snowplow closed the entrance again. I’l clear it tomorrow.
JAN 5 – Cleared the entrance to the driveway.
JAN 7 – 6 more inches of snow. Spent an hour and a half getting the snowblower started. I think the last time I used it was 1989. Put the mailbox back up. Mail can be delivered again.
JAN 10 – The temperature has not been above freezing in 17 days. Every flake of snow that came down is still here. The weatherman is predicting 14 inches of snow for tomorrow. That can’t be right!
JAN 12 – The weatherman was wrong. It snowed 18 inches. Spent the entire day shoveling and clearing our roads. Got some help for a while but not much. Soon as I finished the snowplow closed by driveway and knocked the mailbox down. No mail today.
JAN 13 – Bitter cold. Opened the end of the driveway again. Searched for a half hour to find the mailbox and then made quick repairs. Snowplow came by as soon as I finished. Near as I can figure, he waits around the corner watching me.
JAN 15 – More snow. I don’t know how much. There’s so much here I can’t keep track anymore. Who cares? The mailbox is down again. The hell with it. Who needs mail.
JAN 17 – Bitter cold – High winds – Dangerous wind chill factor. I cleared the end of the road. The snowplow came by as I lifted the last shovel full. I’ve had enough of this winter!
JAN 18 – Actual temperature -10F degrees. Coldest temperature in this area since the weather bureau has kept records. In the 30 seconds it takes me to walk to the garage my feet get cold, my hands and ears are numb, the hair in my nose is frozen, and I have ice in my mustache. Winter sucks!
JAN 20 – It warmed up to 30F degrees. Just warm enough to rain. 2 inches of rain. Everything is frozen – including me.
JAN 21 – Temperature drops to +10F degrees. The snowplow closed my driveway again and this time the snow mound is an immovable frozen ice mountain. Tried to clear with the snowblower. Hit something terrible and wrecked the snowblower – I think I found the mailbox! Terry says, “What’s the wether for tomorrow?” I say, “I stopped watching the weather channel – Surprise me.”
JAN 22 – SURPRISE! 8 inches of new snow. Managed to get to the hardware store to buy repair parts for the snowblower – they’re all sold out. They don’t have rock salt either. Cleared the end of the driveway again. I’m ready to move to Florida.
JAN 23 – Good News. The heatwave melted the snow on the roof but the gutters are frozen solid. The water is coming in around the front windows inside the house.
JAN 24 – Water started coming in the kitchen ceiling and bathroom window. The frozen bathroom window broke. Went to the hardware store for more buckets. They’re all sold out. Cleared the end of the driveway again. Broke the snow shovel – my back is killing me. The zippers are broken on my snowmobile boots.
JAN 26 – Went shopping for new snowmobile boots. They’re all sold out. They don’t have any snow shovels either. But I did manage to buy a bag of salt out of the back of a rental truck from Florida for $20.00.
JAN 27 – The dog can’t go to the bathroom. The snow is too high. I have to hold him up in the air.
JAN 28 – How many days does this month have? More snow, more bitter cold.
JAN 29 – Good news. There are no storms coming for a couple of days. Finally got the snowblower running. Got the roads and driveway cleared.
JAN 30 – End of driveway plowed shut again.
JAN 31 – It snowed most of the night. If I see one more flake of that white shit… Snowplow closed the end of the driveway again. I swear I heard that snowman laughing at me.
FEB 1, 3:45am – It’s snowing. I’m crouched behind a snow pile with my gun – waiting for the son of bitch that drives the snowplow. Winter sucks, life sucks – I’m moving to Florida!!!
~ Bruce W Constantine
Back in the 80’s and 90’s, my father tinkered with writing. It turns out he wasn’t very good at it. Never the less, as we went through various things in the house, I found a ring binder with a few stories. It pleases me greatly to think that once again my father has told a story, and perhaps even made you laugh.