Acceptance with Sam Ardery →

Published February 22, 2022  ·  All posts on Feb 22

How can individuals approach conversations more effectively to foster understanding, manage conflict, and overcome fear?

The illusion of control deeply influences how we approach conversations and conflict.

People really like the idea of control, and I think a lot of things we do in our lives are to live under the illusion of control.

~ Sam Ardery (1:16)

This conversation explores the nature of control, fear, and personal accountability in conversations and conflict resolution. A central theme is the illusion of control and how it shapes our responses to unexpected situations. Techniques such as the “P-A-R-C” framework—pause, assess, reflect, and choose—offer practical tools for navigating conversations more thoughtfully.

Other significant topics include the role of compassion and self-compassion, particularly in the context of conflict and personal growth. The discussion emphasizes the importance of understanding one’s own role in disputes, highlighted by the idea of “accepting your 5%.” Additionally, the fear of rejection and failure is dissected, with insights into how embracing these fears can lead to greater resilience and better outcomes in personal and professional interactions.

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Greatness →

Published February 22, 2022  ·  All posts on Feb 22  ·  , ,

I wake up each day with the firm conviction that I am nowhere near my full potential. ‘Greatness’ is a verb. I have miles to go before I sleep, and so I will spend my remaining years desperately looking to improve who I am from year to year. Greatness is not a final destination, but a series of small acts done daily in order to constantly rejuvenate and refresh our skills in a daily effort to become a better version of ourselves.

~ Maurice Ashley

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High-quality information →

Published February 21, 2022  ·  All posts on Feb 21  ·  ,

I get paid to read and comment on the news for a living, and I still wake up every morning completely overwhelmed by all that’s going on. I can feel my blood pressure go up as I try to figure out what to focus on first. The way I manage it is to remember that the world will go on if I don’t read everything. Newspapers will publish again the next day. I will always be better off consumg a smaller amount of high-quality information that trying to consume it all.

~ Tommy Vietor

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The primary cause →

Published February 21, 2022  ·  All posts on Feb 21

The numerous influences of the shoe heel on the foot and body column are not fully understood by most medical practitioners. The practitioner commonly speaks of “sensible” heels. Such a heel does not exist. Any elevated heel under a shoe automatically initiates an altered series of foot and body biomechanics.

~ William A. Rossi from, Footwear The Primary Cause of Foot Disorders

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And sometimes I use my blog as a personal out-brain data storage system. I’m trying to link to a more definitive source—but you’ll find that link is pay-walled, (and of no relation nor benefit to me.) It’s a short read, well-worth finding a copy of.

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We learn so little →

Published February 20, 2022  ·  All posts on Feb 20  ·  ,

It’s so hard to forget pain, but it’s even harder to remember sweetness. We have no scar to show for happiness. We learn so little from peace.

~ Chuck Palahniuk

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Remember sweetness →

Published February 20, 2022  ·  All posts on Feb 20  ·  

It’s so hard to forget pain, but it’s even harder to remember sweetness. We have no scar to show for happiness. We learn so little from peace.

~ Chuck Palahniuk

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I continue to practice shifting my perspective. Instead of “pain” and “pleasure” though, I struggle with “failure” and “success.” The danger of setting clear goals, is that it’s equally clear whether or not they are achieved. Not reaching a goal is clear, and real. And to pretend otherwise is foolish.

The trap is that I forget that each goal contains a degree of arbitrariness. Success (reach the goal) and failure (not reach the goal.) Do not admit of shades of grey. But I systematically make the error of moving those adjectives onto my own self-assessment. Did I reach that goal? No. Then: I’m a failure.

A friend of mine once said that it takes a special person to be able to set a goal they cannot achieve. The cleverness—in my opinion—in there is that to be that special person, you have to set a goal that you believe you can achieve… and then discover your belief was wrong. I had a belief—some piece of a model of reality, a map of a territory, a piece of knowledge—and I’ve now realized, as I fail to reach a goal, that I was wrong. That’s literally learning.

…so really, every time I fall short on a goal, I’m literally learning and getting better. Every time I set a goal and “succeed,” not so much.

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Information →

Published February 19, 2022  ·  All posts on Feb 19  ·  

In an information-rich world, the wealth of information means a dearth of something else: a scarcity of whatever it is that information consumes. What information consumes is rather obvious: it consumes the attention of its recipients. Hence a wealth of information creates a poverty of attention and a need to allocate that attention efficiently among the overabundance of information sources that might consume it.

~ Herbert Simon

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What information consumes →

Published February 19, 2022  ·  All posts on Feb 19

In an information-rich world, the wealth of information means a dearth of something else: a scarcity of whatever it is that information consumes. What information consumes is rather obvious: it consumes the attention of its recipients. Hence a wealth of information creates a poverty of attention and a need to allocate that attention efficiently among the overabundance of information sources that might consume it.

~ Herbert Simon

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It may be, as he says, obvious to Simon, but it really was not obvious to me. Until I read this I had always thought of myself as giving, or perhaps spending, my time on information. In recent years I’ve begun reminding anyone who’ll listen, that we all have large Oxo grips that extend from the ancient systems cobbled together which today form our intelligence, our fear, and our psyche. It’s easy to grab someone by those handles and lead them. That’s fine because everyone doesn’t try to grab me by those Oxo handles. But software is good at grabbing those handles. Hardware is good at it. And companies run by people who haven’t thought through the morality of what they’re building using software and hardware are really good at it.

So when I read Simon’s comment about information consuming my attention. I sat bolt-upright.

…and then I renewed by efforts to swat away anything that I catch gazing lasciviously at my weaknesses.

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Value and happiness →

Published February 18, 2022  ·  All posts on Feb 18  ·  

There is no value in life except what you choose to place upon it, and no happiness in any place except what you bring to it yourself.

~ Lin Yutang

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Principles are few →

Published February 17, 2022  ·  All posts on Feb 17  ·  ,

As to methods, there may be a million and then some, but principles are few. The man who grasps principles can successfully select his own methods. The man who tries methods, ignoring principles, is sure to have trouble.

~ Harrington Emerson

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