The rest of the year we would call this feeling abundance. It’s not a feeling particular to Christmas, but for a lot of kids Christmas morning represents the abundance feeling at its peak concentration. The first days of Summer break gives a similar high, but it’s spread over a much longer period and so it’s never quite as dazzling. There is also a minor spike in the fall, the evening of Halloween. In each case the abundance feeling is glorious, but fades quickly.~ David Cain, from https://www.raptitude.com/2013/12/what-to-get-everyone-for-christmas/
I want to say I have everything I want. It’s certainly true that I have everything I need. Despite this, I do things frenetically all my waking hours with seizures of exhaustion and depression and escape to entertainment.
Clearly what I feel I don’t have is an abundance of time.
It’s impossible to do all the things I think of, and I don’t mean ideas of entertainment or escape. I mean ideas for projects, businesses, changes to improve things and so on. I know that I have to stop trying to solve so many problems. I know I need to simply find something that fulfills me and tinker.
But my obsessive nature—or is it only a habit?—leads me to try to fill every waking moment with effective effort.