I lobbied for a new idea: Let’s stop talking to each other from different rooms. Let’s take the time to find the other person, and to wait until they are ready to listen before we begin speaking. I hoped this would eliminate the hearing-related false starts. But to be fair, we agreed this should be a two-way street; We would both work to try this new idea.

Everyone who knows me, knows my hearing is failing. Recently, I realized just how much of the communication at our house was frought with false starts. If my attention wasn’t focused on the speaker, we started most conversations with, “Mumble mumble mumble?” “Pardon me?” “I said, …”

I lobbied for a new idea: Let’s stop talking to each other from different rooms. Let’s take the time to find the other person, and to wait until they are ready to listen before we begin speaking. I hoped this would eliminate the hearing-related false starts. But to be fair, we agreed this should be a two-way street; We would both work to try this new idea.

It turns out, that it’s amazing how much this changes. As the listener, you have time to finish your thoughts. Instead of the speaker demanding your instant attention, you shift your attention when you are ready to listen. As the speaker, you place increased value on the other’s time. You have to invest your time to locate them, and then you have to wait for them to be ready to listen.

People are dubious when I explain this idea. It sounds exactly like the sort of hair-brained, overly pedantic, arrangement people expect me to invent. After all, it is hair-brained and pedantic. And it is life-changing. Try it. Go ahead, I’ll wait.

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